


I’m a Bunch of Broken Pieces

by Daydreaminganewworld



Category: Beetlejuice - All Media Types, Beetlejuice - Perfect/Brown & King
Genre: Angst and Humor, Attempt at Humor, Canon and I are having a dance and I intend to lead, Canonical Character Death, Family Bonding, Family Feels, Found Family, Frank Discussions of Mental Health, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Lovecraftian Monster(s), Lydia is big gay, Mental Health Issues, Mild Blood, Minor Injuries, Minor Violence, Minor Witchcraft, Mutual Pining, Panic Attacks, Post-Canon Fix-It, Rituals, Sibling Bonding, Slice of Life, Spiders, Swearing, This bad boy can fit so many emotions, and generally isn't as good as the source material, and less funny, is it fix it if i'm making it sadder, it is time to turn the funny character sad, literally Beej takes coke in the second song tho what did we expect
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-14
Updated: 2021-02-25
Packaged: 2021-02-27 13:33:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 43
Words: 147,874
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22447993
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Daydreaminganewworld/pseuds/Daydreaminganewworld
Summary: Beetlejuice was being sarcastic when he mentioned a possible sequel about finding his dad. Yet here he is once again with the Deetz and Maitlands in another Beetlejuice returns fics. Damn fanfic writers and their hunger for found family stories. What’s a demon supposed to do when life just keeps screwing him over?*fic is currently being edited, hopefully chapter updates will resume soon
Relationships: Adam Maitland/Barbara Maitland, Beetlejuice & Charles Deetz & Delia Deetz & Lydia Deetz & Adam Maitland & Barbara Maitland, Beetlejuice/Adam Maitland/Barbara Maitland, Charles Deetz/Delia Deetz, Lydia Deetz & Beetlejuice
Comments: 1094
Kudos: 847





	1. Run boy run

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beetlejuice finds the Netherworld has changed a little bit from the last time he'd been there, and he realizes that sandworm digestion doesn't keep demons down as long as he wished they would.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally published January 14th, 2020, edited January 2nd, 2021

When searching for someone in the Netherworld, it can be very difficult to find them. Especially if you don’t know who you’re looking for, you’re not sure if they’re dead, or if death is even possible for them. After all, what could possibly make a deadborn? Beetlejuice didn’t know, and he couldn’t really ask anyone else.  _ Especially _ not his mother. So, what do you do? 

You search for a name. And all Beetlejuice had was Shoggoth. That had to lead somewhere. So when he stepped into the Netherworld once more after centuries away, he set to work. Shoggoth wasn’t a typical name, so how hard could it be to find? 

The new civil servants of Netherworld’s Customs and Processing decided to help him out in his search. Well, new to Beetlejuice, he hadn’t been to the Netherworld since Juno kicked him out around the 1700’s. 

Though the people changed, the Netherworld didn’t. A dark, shapeless, almost indescribable place with only one building existing in all of the unending abyss. Even the building was odd, just appearing around a person once they reached a certain point in the Netherworld. The interior was filled with winding, crooked hallways, offices filled to the brim with overflowing file cabinets and messy desks, busy, decaying civil servants rushing by, and a constant, stale fog leaving everything in a damp, clammy state. It was still the same, confusing void of death Beetlejuice knew since he first gained consciousness. 

His time back had been interesting to say the least. The NCP department as a whole seemed oddly close knit for the standard Beetlejuice was used to seeing in the Netherworld. The older workers were keeping an eye out for the newbies, helping them out of trouble, while the new blood seemed just as determined to bring some interest to the offices of death. Usually it was more of an every ghost for themself in the Netherworld, yet here, it seemed like an actual team working together. And while Beetlejuice was used to people being eager to slack off work, these ghosts seemed strangely happy to help  _ him _ . 

Beetlejuice played it off, thinking it was them being grateful to get a break from Juno. Sure, some of the younger employees seemed to get a kick from him being around, such as the rambunctious horse-trampled desk jockey and unfortunately firecracker-impaled maintenance worker. Most of the older folks seemed happy to tolerate him, like the shy-yet-smiling toaster-electrocuted receptionist and the mute, shrunken-headed giant of a security chief. But Beetlejuice wasn’t about to kid himself. Sure the schmucks tolerated him, but there was no way any of them thought of him as some kind of friend. At most, he was an interesting blip in their never ending, dreary afterlives, showing up and causing his typical chaos as he settled in once more in his old roots of the Netherworld. 

He will say, though, the characters he’s met in this department were a welcome distraction. They let him make inappropriate jokes about death, sneak up on them from out of nowhere with some sort of new critter he found lurking in the dark corners of the Netherworld, and they took all of his elaborate pranks in stride. If there were any questions about his time in the breather world, or any questions about what his job in the Netherworld was, he found it simple to deflect the question to a new topic. Beetlejuice hoped this ease came from his improv skills, but a quiet part of him knew that the workers realized the subjects were sensitive and merely let him slide the topic of conversation elsewhere. 

There was one worker especially that caught Beetlejuice’s interest, and he seemed to have caught her’s, what with him coming into their office with such strange bravado. She seemed to be the de facto leader of the motley bunch, the green skinned woman everyone called Miss Argentina. She was sharp as a guillotine, and never cowed down. She positively  _ radiated _ ‘large and in charge’ energy, though the towering five inch heels she died in helped. Any time she spoke up, others listened. Any time someone needed assistance with something, they’d go to her. 

She was also drop dead gorgeous, and Beetlejuice would’ve  _ definitely  _ tried a few moves on her already. Every time he started to, though, echoes of bell-like laughter and ridiculous puns began to prick strangely at his mind. It tangled his thoughts with memories he’d been trying desperately to ignore, lest his chest start burning. He denied this strange, awful feeling by pretending his lack of flirting was because Argentina was clearly interested in someone else, someone a bit more timid and electrocuted. Anyone who knew Beetlejuice would know this was complete bullshit, as he had never been deterred by such a concept like monogamy before… 

“Beetlejuice?” 

Speak of the devil and she will appear. Beetlejuice’s eyes snapped up from the leaves of documents he was struggling to read while his mind drifted. Miss Argentina was at the door to the office Beetlejuice had claimed for himself for the time being, looking a little shaken. 

“Found a filing cabinet filled with centipedes again?” He asked bemusedly. Argentina may be one of the more seasoned workers of the Netherworld, but she hadn’t nearly been around long enough to grow used to some of the vermin hidden in the nooks and crannies of the offices yet. 

Argentina stepped into the room, closing the door carefully behind her. That got Beetlejuice’s attention. Argentina was usually bustling around, confident, not at all quiet and nervously looking over her shoulders. “Beetlejuice, how long would a sandworm keep a demon down?” Miss Argentina asked. 

Beetlejuice felt his chest tighten up. He’d been dreading when someone would ask him that question. He gave a carefree shrug to hide that from the taller woman. “Dunno, guess it depends on the demon. Why?” He asked, trying to keep the note of fear hidden from his voice. Argentina gave him a look that told him he failed miserably. 

“Beetlejuice, I’m serious, she… Juno sent a notice. 'If Beetlejuice is here, we are to lock him down and wait upon her return',” Argentina held out an already wrinkled invoice. Beetlejuice eyed it for a moment, recognizing Juno’s scrawl in an instant. 

Very few actually knew about Beetlejuice and his relation to Juno, how she called herself his mother. But _everyone_ knew just how terrifying Juno could be when she wanted to. So if they got a notice from her that someone was in trouble, someone that had fed her to a _sandworm_? It was no wonder Argentina was so on edge. 

Beetlejuice felt hands pulling him out his chair, snapping him out of his reverie. “Beetlejuice, you need to leave, you have to go somewhere else, somewhere safe!” Argentina hissed, fear in her eyes. 

“Safe?” His voice was bitter, to his chagrin, “Where could I ever be safe? Dunno if you noticed, Argentina, but I don’t exactly belong anywhere else, I barely even belong in the land of the dead as is.” 

“Anywhere but here is safe for you right now, Beetlejuice! For God's sake, you got to go before Juno turns you into a kale shake!” Argentina said, desperate. 

Beetlejuice wanted to argue. He was deadborn, and a cursed one at that. If he went to the living world, he’d be invisible once more, back to square one, with no guaranteed chance of finding his father. There was no planet, no dimension, no place that he could go to where he wouldn’t be  _ alone _ . 

...Then again, wasn’t he always alone? 

He didn’t have time to further contemplate that depressing question. An energy blazed throughout the netherworld, rattling every door and filling the air with smoky dread. He recognized that energy. He grew up terrified of it. Argentina let out a surprised gasp, looking back to the door in wide eyed shock. She must’ve never seen Juno this pissed before. 

“ **_Beetlejuice_ ** _. You dare come back here after what you’ve done?”  _

He felt his entire body lock up at that tone of voice. That tone only ever led to pain, to snarled words that cut him deeper than any blade did. He knew what was about to happen. ‘ _ Alright Lawrence. You have two options. Finally face  _ her _ , or run away again. What will it be? _ ’ 

He thought about the last time he saw  _ her _ , how she spoke so sickly sweet to him before shoving him into a punishment like she always did. Unwillingly, his thoughts dragged to moments before, when she was stepping closer and closer to Lydia, making Beetlejuice feel his chest tighten painfully in a way he never felt before. His feelings were  _ extremely  _ muddled about, well, everything at that moment, but he knew he could  _ never  _ let that horrible demon near the kid, let her do to Lydia what she did to him, and Beetlejuice finally fought back against Juno for once. 

...But that was Lydia making him brave. Now? Now it was just him, all alone. About to face the big bad mother. 

A hand clasped his arm. Beetlejuice snapped back to Argentina, shaken from his tumultuous panic. “Go, I’ll distract her, okay? Then we pretend you were just here stealing our staples and being annoying.” 

He... wasn’t alone. He had someone. Whether that someone truly cared or not didn’t matter at the moment. Looking at this crazy ghost about to stand between him and Juno was enough for Beetlejuice to form his next escape plan, small as it was. His body moved, like it had that first time long ago, when he first had to run away from the Netherworld. 

The world shifted around Beetlejuice at the same time guards burst in. Argentina yelped in surprise, hopping out of their way, and Juno’s ever-reaching voice shrieked Beetlejuice’s name one last time. 

Then everything around him was whirling, colors, noises, everything! He couldn’t keep up. He was hurtling through realities like a baby bat. He was still a bit unstable after being turned from deadborn to newly-dead deadborn, making his powers slightly unreliable. He kept strong though, and eventually he touched down into a stable reality where his head promptly smacked into a wall. Well, he would’ve smacked into the wall if he was corporeal. In actuality he just phased through it. 

There Beetlejuice found himself, shuddering and wheezing, swallowing back a gallon of saliva as his chest did it’s usual act of clamping down and holding him paralyzed every time he saw a furious Juno, panic and adrenaline continuing to pulse through his body. Slowly, though, the world began to steady as his senses came down from their high. 

_ Okay _ , he thought. Not too shabby. Not a scratch on his being, and he managed to evade Juno.  _ And,  _ she’d have no idea where he landed! Because he had no clue either. Better fix that. Beetlejuice sat up and finally surveyed his surroundings, before freezing once more. 

_ Shit.  _

His chest was clamped down again, and his stomach somehow formed a ball of ice so painful that it made him want to curl up and die again. He was back on  _ the _ roof. After all that happened, he was back here. At the house, where his whole world had been turned upside down. 

He couldn’t move, he couldn’t think. All Beetlejuice could do was stare at nothing as wave after wave of cloying emotions crashed down on him, all while he internally cursed his luck. 

Something  _ happened _ to Beetlejuice when he turned human. Once, feelings had just been surface level. Bright, electric blips that zapped through his body for a moment, charging his next move. But when he turned human, his entire being  _ was  _ the emotion, and it wasn’t flashing through. It was sticking, to his thoughts, to his insides, like gum under a desk, melding into the next emotion rather than popping in and out of existence. And when he was killed, somehow all of that stuck. He could no longer deny the feelings that once flashed through him at the speed of light, because they now refused to leave, even after he finally acknowledged their existence. He could no longer fall back on his mother’s words, of how demons just didn’t feel some things. He had changed, and he hated it, and he never wanted to go back to a time before he changed. It felt like he was taken out of a dark stuffy room and he was finally outside, and he could  _ breathe  _ the clean fresh air that made his lungs ache and  _ feel  _ the air moving around him chilling his core and  _ hear _ the outside cacophony that overwhelmed him. He could never go back inside again. Juno would mock him for being so weak. Maybe she was right to. 

But when he looked at Lydia and her family after the whole mess before he left, Beetlejuice felt his chest hollow out, and for the first time, he felt like crying. Real actual crying that was supposed to be impossible for a demon, especially one under a curse. He felt like reaching out, hugging Lydia and saying… saying...

He was happy to have the emotion change up, but he couldn’t stay at the house for another second. Not when his everything was so messed up. That terrible feeling was overwhelming, who knows how he’d embarrass himself if he left himself around others unchecked while so vulnerable. Besides, it wasn’t like he was exactly wanted in that house anymore. 

So, he left. He absolutely refused to think about it. He didn’t think about how much fun he and Lydia had, or how quickly their friendship fell apart. He didn’t think about how loving and kind the Maitlands were to each other, and how he would never receive that kindness himself. He didn’t think about how Charles and Delia seemed to be better than he thought parents were supposed to be. It's not like he would ever get to fully see that for himself. Most of all, Beetlejuice refused to think about how  _ close _ he was to finally… belonging somewhere. And how guilty he felt when he did think about any of it. Why should he feel guilty? He was the one that was tricked! Betrayed! Made a fool of! 

_ But then again, didn’t you do the exact same thing to them? Multiple times?  _

Beetlejuice blinked, shaking himself from that ouroboros-shaped train of thought. There was no time for that roundabout of guilt and anger! He was here, at the house that caused his insides to freeze up if he ever even considered thinking about it. The place that was a goddamn roller coaster of emotions, guilt, betrayal, fondness, worse than the one he found himself in when he was alive. 

And he was stuck, with no other place to go now that he’d run from the Netherworld. 

“Fuck,” Beetlejuice said. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Idk if I should continue, I have a WHOLE lot more written up. Changing perspectives, real grown up talks, it’s a whole thing! Wow! Lemme know what y’all think aha, this is just a fun lil thing I’ve been doing. Maybe I’ll post a new chapter soon idk, don’t want to run out of stuff I’ve actually written for this, whoops.  
> Also, also, I took inspiration from “Take Me Where My Soul Can Run” fic via title. Yep this is a lyric from “Dead Mom”. Sue me, it’s a banger of a song.  
> Also, hit me up at my tumblr [@daydreaming-jessi](https://daydreaming-jessi.tumblr.com/) if you wanna lol  
> Edit: i return to tell yall I have taken an editing knife AND an actual beta to this fic, and I am not to be stopped. Prepare to see more updates of edited chapters >:3


	2. Panic Attacks on a Roof

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beetlejuice has a terrible, no good time, Lydia joins the fray, and a necessary conversation long in the making is finally had, clearing up that damn misunderstanding that had everyone in the audience screaming “You FOOLS”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally published January 30th, 2020, edited January 2nd, 2021

When Lydia had heard some sort of cacophony go off above her room, she was curious about what was causing such a strange sounding ruckus. She couldn’t even describe the sound, it was like something breached into existence and she could hear it appear. It was strange, and she had to know what it was. 

So, Lydia checked the attic, but it wasn’t the Maitlands. They were both napping on the couch together. Charles and Delia weren’t home yet, removing them from being the possible noise source. For a moment, memories surfaced, and for a moment Lydia felt a cautious flame of hope ignite inside of her, but she quickly waved that thought away. It was probably just a raccoon. She grabbed her camera and opened her window, carefully clambering out onto the roof tiles. The raccoon would make a great addition to her collage of environmentally important animals that were considered pests by society as a whole. 

The boringly normal night air had a chill, akin to death’s breath. Lydia wrapped her jacket closer before she readied her camera. She carefully stepped across the roof, and couldn’t help but remember the last time she went out here alone. Of course, it was a rather difficult memory. She had come up here to kill herself, to finally stop the madness her life had become after all. But she met a good friend before she could do something permanent. Life got crazy, and things went _very_ wrong, but she had to admit that without _him_ , things probably wouldn’t have changed for the better, and she would’ve simply plunged off the roof. That was the excuse she made up for missing him, anyways, and why she was starting to hope that he’d show back up again, _someday_. 

Lydia heard another shuffle ahead, something scraping across the shingles, causing her to quickly duck down, inching forward to snap a photo of the critter on the roof before it ran off. Onward she went, until she saw the source of all the noise. 

“Beetlejuice?” She asked, straightening up with a smile slowly starting to form on her face. 

Once again, Lydia found the ghost with the most hanging out on her roof. 

Beetlejuice slammed to the ground and scrambled away. His breath came out in panicked wheezes, he curled up on himself and rocked his body, foam starting to drip out of his gasping mouth. 

Lydia froze for a moment, locked in stunned silence, before her instincts kicked in and she rushed to his side. She’d seen classmates having panic attacks and knew they could cause one to pass out, or worse, if left unattended. She didn’t know if Beetlejuice _could_ pass out, but it was better safe than sorry. 

“It’s ok, it’s ok. Breathe Beej, you gotta breathe.” Beetlejuice flinched at Lydia’s approach, and his body became wracked with more shivers. Lydia carefully pried his hands away from his hair, noting how _hard_ he was yanking the now snow white locks, and squeezed them reassuringly. 

“I’m gonna squeeze your hands, and when I do, I want you to take the deepest breath you can. And when I loosen up, I want you to release that breath as slowly as you can, ok? Ready, one, two, three, -“ Lydia squeezed, and for a moment she wondered if he was going to ignore her, like he usually would with any given commands, but then, Beetlejuice began to shakily inhale. “Five, six, seven. And release, one two three four-” 

Slowly he blew out a puff of air. Once more she squeezed his hands and counted again. On it went for who knows how long. Lydia’s knees were cold and her legs ached from crouching for so long, but she stuck stubbornly at the panicking demon’s side, helping him take his breathing back under control. 

“Count with me, Beej. Out loud or in your head, okay? One, two, three-“ She heard a quiet, rough murmur start up under her calm voice. After another few rounds of breathing and counting, Lydia helped Beej sit up properly. He was fidgeting, refusing to look at Lydia, his wild luminescent eyes darting around wildly, and a bit of drool was still clung to the side of his chin. 

“Holy shit,” Lydia breathed. Her emotions were conflicted to say the least. On the one hand she wanted to kick his ass, on the other, she just wanted to hug him as tight as she could manage. And on a Beetlejuice third hand, she wanted to figure out what could make _him_ have a panic attack. 

“Hmm,” Beej hummed in that same chain smoker voice. He seemed to have not changed a bit, he was even back in his hideous black and white striped suit, though his hair was at the moment a mix between milk white and mucous yellow rather than its typical neon green. 

“Beej, you’re… you’re really back?” Lydia finally asked. The demon shrugged, his hands playing endlessly with the threads hanging off his suit. “What happened? I thought you were looking for your dad,” she continued, remembering their last goodbye. 

“I was. Had some help. It was going. Then, ‘course, Mother dearest reformed and came after me. I got out of there. Didn’t really think about where I was going so I guess I wound up here outta muscle memory,” he explained. He refused to look up, appearing more like a child caught in a terrible act than a demon who was just having a panic attack. 

“But Juno got eaten! That’s not fair!” Lydia scowled, as the question of why _Beej_ was on edge was answered. His mother really was atrocious. Lydia could attest to that herself. 

“She’s a demon, kid, and more powerful than me. She wouldn’t be gone from a simple sandworm attack,” Beej snorted. 

“Well, shit… Are you okay?” 

Beej froze. He stared at Lydia as a darker shade of yellow starting to fill in his hair. “...what.” 

“I said-“ 

“I know what you said! Why- why do you care?!” Beej twisted to his feet in a way that was only possible with a broken spine, and started to pace around the roof, like a caged animal. 

“Well, even if we’re not cool right now it doesn’t mean you’ve stopped being my friend. At least not to me. I dunno about you, I guess,” Lydia sullenly frowned as she stood, her legs relieved for the break. 

Beej stared at Lydia as if she was the one capable of and did grow a second and third head, a bit of saliva still dribbling down his chin. “You... I’m still your- Nope, that’s a lie if I ever heard one! OK! Ok. Whaddya want? I ain’t doing anyone favors right now, so-so you better-“ 

“I’m _not_ lying. You know I don’t lie about something dumb like that, and even if I were, you know what I sound like when I lie,” Lydia interrupted, scowling now. 

Beej wilted a little from the frenzy he was working himself up to. He did know, at least he was certain he knew. But part of him was screaming right now, the part that always screamed when Juno started to talk in that sweet saccharine tone that always lured him closer, closer, before he found himself being stabbed in the back by her once again. 

Angrily he shook his body, trying to clear his thoughts and return to his previous state. “You do not think of me as a friend, it’s as-as possible as China befriending Mongolia! Aha, no! This is a trick, you want... you want me gone! I get it, I do, I just. I’ll get some chalk I guess. Draw a door and-“ 

“No!” Lydia‘s hair flew wild from how hard she shook her head. “You’re not going anywhere near the Netherworld when Juno’s around!” She stomped forward, and grabbed Beej’s arm tightly, grabbing his full attention. “Now listen for once in your afterlife. I’m still mad at you for blowing up like you did, it was dumb and outta nowhere and _awful_ . I get that you were having a rough time, that you’ve had a lotta rough times. And- and you helped me out when I needed help the most. But you still manipulated me.” Beej tensed and looked ready to argue, but then Lydia continued, “But I did the same back. And that was wrong of of us both. That whole marriage thing was still super gross and dumb, and you owe Barb an apology, but... you’re still my friend Beetlejuice. And friendship is a ride _and_ die thing, got it?” 

“You were pretty quick to drop me when you knew you could get your mom back,” Beetlejuice grumbled before he could think, and winced. Way to dump out that can of worms and serve it. 

“I don’t get what you’re talking about! I just wanted to see my mom, that had nothing to do with me up and leaving you!” Lydia huffed, setting her hands on her hips. 

“You- you said so yourself. I heard you!” 

“What are you talking about?” 

Beej glared and crossed his arms. “That! I remember! I remember that’s exactly what you said, you said ‘what’re you talking about’ when I-“ He choked on his words. 

Lydia looked back confusedly. “I don’t- what are you talking about _now_? C’mon, use your words, Beej, I want to understand.” 

Beej frustratedly ran hands through his hair now red, purple, yellow, his mouth foaming again, thinking desperately as he turned away from the teen. “Listen, I know, I know how it works, ok?! I wouldn’t help you with your mom shit, so I became useless to you. I was dumb, thinking we were friends and whatever, I’m just a useless idiot of a demon, I get it ok?! I’m not someone that gets love, I am just somethin’ that gets things done for people.” He took a breath, and when he next spoke, his voice was uncharacteristically quiet, “Was I really stupid for wanting a friend? For wanting to be something more than someone’s lackey for once?” He shook his head, his volume rising once more. “I-I dunno, just, don’t act like that’s not what happened, Lydia! I can’t, I can’t take this goddamn lying shit anymore!” 

For a moment there was only silence, Lydia watching Beej’s back as his shoulders heaved and bits of spit fell to the shingles, slowly starting to put the pieces into place as she was able to finally realize what had happened. “Beej, when I said what’re you talking about, I didn’t mean ‘what’re you talking about we’re not friends’, I meant 'what does our friendship have to do with me wanting my mom back'. I… I never saw you as a tool or a lackey. You were my friend,” Lydia said slowly. 

Beej’s spine slowly straightened as his hair changed back to yellow before he turned, and stared at her, drool still dripping from his mouth. Lydia wondered for a moment if he was unable to cry. “I don’t… I don’t….”

“You really thought I stopped caring about you when you didn’t help me out one time?” Lydia’s eyebrows scrunched together. Beej looked down to the ground. “Beej. Even if I was in a bad place, I still cared about you. Even if I was going to go find my mom, I still cared about you. Even if we weren’t going to hang out anymore, I _still_ cared about you. And… I still care now. Okay?” 

Slowly, Beej, after an age of silence spoke. “I… I still don’t get it. Why… why’d you have to go drag your mom into our fun? We chase your dad away, then add in another adult? She would’ve ruined everything!” 

“No, she would’ve made everything better! She would’ve loved you and the Maitlands. Mom loved everything strange and unusual. Beej… your mom’s a freak. Moms aren’t like her.” 

Beej blinked, confused now. Lydia thought of how to explain this to him, remembering the things she told the Maitlands about her mother. “Did I ever tell you about this thing she and I always did when we were walking home? We’d start booking it to the door, and she’d be fumbling for her keys and screaming ‘Oh god Lydia, there’s a crazy murderer behind us!’ It was great. She always dressed up crazy scary for Halloween, and knew the weirdest facts. She’d let go of the steering wheel and we’d just coast down the road. No breaking, ‘cause that was breaking the rules. She made up her own rules for life’s game, taught me how to play it, and… And she made me feel safe, and loved, and _visible_ . Even when everything else was falling apart. _That’s_ how moms are, Beej. That’s why I wanted her back. Get it?” 

For a moment he stared, but then Beej began to shudder, his hair darkening to dark blues and purples as he processed this new information. “I… _Oh…_ oh no… oh fuck Lydia, I… I fucked up so much, didn’t I?“ 

Lydia opened up her arms, and slowly Beej did the same confusedly, and Lydia hugged the demon. He froze, like before, but this time he moved, and the two friends finally hugged each other tight. Lydia tried to ignore the saliva and the stench of the suit, but did note that the smell seemed muted now. Like he tried to clean it off while he was gone. 

“I’m sorry. For everything,” Beej mumbled into her hair. 

“Me too,” Lydia nodded. 

“Eh. I think I ended up deserving it. Fucked up your family. Tried to marry you and all, ich. Worst plan ever. Sometimes I need a wake up call in the form of a stabbing.” 

Lydia chuckled and pulled back, happy to see that Beej’s hair was starting to finally turn back to its normal green. “Well, come on. Let's get inside, I’m freezing. We’ll figure out what to do next,” she nodded, offering out her arm. Hesitantly, Beej wrapped his arm around her elbow, and Lydia elegantly pulled him back to her window, dramatically pointing her nose up in the air, making the demon snort a weak laugh, and she started to giggle as well. They would figure this out, together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y’all, YALL. You all were so goddamn nice I had to go have a friend insult me to chill my squealing out. Thank you so much for enjoying last chapter, I’ll keep on posting so long as you guys are enjoying the story ^^  
> I like to summarize this chapter as “Beej drool cries and yells and Lydia DOESN’T cry but also yells until they finally hug”  
> Idk how far this whole fanfic is gonna go, but it’ll be a bit I hope. I’ll probably update biweekly with the stuff I’ve got so far, every Monday and Friday y’know, to try and give me time to figure the rest of this fic out. You think I know what I’m doing?? Cause I don’t!!!  
> Hit me up on tumblr if you want [@daydreaming-jessi](https://daydreaming-jessi.tumblr.com/), I’ll squeal about how cute the Maitlands are and how much I love Delia with y’all  
> Edit: the amount of editing I've been doing to the first few chapters of this fic the past few weeks makes me surprised it took off as well as it did when i first published all this, thank you everyone for being patient with my writing


	3. Green onion clothes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lydia Deetz is the type of kid to keep a demon in her room, rather than, say, a frog or a rat, and that is why Charles Deetz has so many gray hairs. She learns she can’t fly, and Beej thinks there’s a lot of dicks in the sky. The truth must come out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally posted February 3rd, 2020, edited January 6th, 2021

Lydia told Beetlejuice that under no circumstances could he cause trouble. ‘Dad and Stepmom would flip, and the Maitlands would probably snap your neck, BJ,’ she said. He needed to lay low while they figured out what he should do now that Juno had returned. BJ pouted, and Lydia could tell he was bored and starting to burst with energy being cooped up in her room for so long. Surprisingly, the demon still did his best to comply with the rules she set up. In return, Lydia placated him with snacks she snuck up, they engaged in a small prank war that lasted a few days, and they messed around with her nail polish, which BJ got surprisingly ecstatic about. It seemed he’d been painting his nails for millennials. 

Or, nearly as long, as far as he could figure out. Time apparently was confusing in the Netherworld, especially for a demon that barely understood human time as is, which was fair. They at least figured out that he should be in his late twenties in human time, among other things that Juno didn’t deem important enough to tell him. 

“Ok, so Saturn is filled with sand worms, and it’s moons are hatching grounds for their young, so not really a great place for you to hang out at for long,” Lydia crossed the names off of the list titled ‘ _ Safe places for BJ _ ’. Beej always giggled whenever he saw the title. 

The two had spent the past week and a half trying to figure out where Beej could permanently reside without fear of Juno and he could be as crazy and wild as he wanted. It was getting increasingly difficult to find somewhere that met their criteria, and Beej was starting to lose morale. 

“This is pointless, kid. Maybe I should just… bite the bullet and go back to the Netherworld,” BJ sighed, his hair a melancholic blue. Today was a bad day for him it seemed, his hair remaining a dark blue and indigo from the moment Lydia woke up and let him in from the roof. 

“Hell no. We just gotta figure this out. Besides, you’re safe here,” Lydia noted, scribbling down another idea. 

“Yeah, until one of your parentals figures out I’m here and rightly kicks me out,” he pointed out, his head slumping back onto the pillows of Lydia’s bed, where he was slouched out in the pose officially dubbed ‘ _ the depressed starfish _ ’. 

“We’ll find you a home, Beej,” Lydia scowled determinedly. 

All she got in reply was a scoff. That wouldn’t do. Lydia set the list down, climbed onto her occupied bed and perched atop Beej’s stomach, where she crossed her arms and legs as she fixed him with a pointed look. Beej grunted at the weight added atop his stomach, but his hair lightened a shade. 

“You know, it would probably help if you didn’t smell and look like a corpse,” Lydia noted eventually, tapping a rhythm out on her arm. 

Beej glanced over at her from the edge of his vision with an unimpressed frown. “Sure.” 

“And maybe if we got you clothes that fit, you wouldn’t have to wear this ratty old thing anymore. We could properly burn it then,” Lydia plucked at Beej’s suit. 

“But it’s my thing!” Beej pouted. 

“Where did you get it anyway? Looks like a seven year old slapped it together,” Lydia pointed to the jagged, uneven stitching. 

“ _ I _ was the one that sewed it together.” 

“You know how to sew?” 

“Is that a surprise?” Beej sniffed. 

Lydia slid off his stomach. “Kinda, yeah. I never took you as someone who could be patient enough to make your own clothes,” she said. 

Beej shrugged. “I had to learn. Ma only ever threw a bunch of clothes at me once in a blue moon and that was it. I’d have to fix them if they got fucked up, because if I asked for help, she would immediately go off on a rant about how I was too stupid and rough with my stuff for her to want to get me anything else,” he explained. 

Lydia took a deep breath and unclenched her fists, forced to convince herself once again that going into the Netherworld to punch Juno was not going to help current matters. 

“I actually worked really hard to find some fabric for this and dye it, and I spent  _ forever  _ trying to get it to look right on me, ‘cause at first it looked like a limp sandworm had dropped its shed skin on me. Also, holy shit, sewing needles are so painful, and not in  _ any _ fun way. My fingers were taped in gauze for weeks after I finally got it all together. But I’ve never taken this off, since it worked out so well. I made it and I finally succeeded at doing something  _ I _ wanted to do for once,” Beej had a distant look in his eyes now. 

Lydia watched, her mind turning contemplative. “I… make my own clothes too,” she finally admitted. 

Beej launched himself into a sitting position, wide eyed and taking Lydia aback with the sudden burst of energy. “ _ What _ ?” 

“You think dresses come with safety pins stuck through them? When Mom died, I wanted to wear grieving clothes everyday for her, so I went into a bunch of thrift shops, and just cut and sewed and tied all my new clothes together until I had a whole new closet. I threw anything that wasn’t made by me out, and I just kept practicing and getting better. That dress is actually my best yet,” Lydia pointed to the familiar safety pin dress hanging on her open closet door, the very same one she spotted during the time she and Beej first met. 

Beej stared at it, then at her, then at the closet again. He grasped Lydia’s upper arm gently, his eyes glowing. “Can you make  _ me  _ something?” 

Lydia considered this, and remembered that her dad was going to give some clothes to a donation bin. They were just downstairs waiting for the trip. Her dad was taller than Beej, so she would have room to work for their different body types. “Do you wanna help?” She finally asked, smirking. 

Beej’s head was a blur from how fast he was nodding it. Lydia grinned. “Ok, I’ll grab materials, some snacks, and my sewing kit. Be right back,” and she headed out of her room, Beej letting a whoop out behind her, taking a floating victory lap through the air. As if she’d ever say no. 

Lydia hopped down the stairs to the first floor, one step at a time, but paused at the last when she heard muffled voices in the living room. She peeked in to see Adam and Barb helping Delia plot out the garden she wanted to start. 

The clothes were right by the front door, ready for their upcoming trip. If she cut through the kitchen into the hall back to these stairs after, she’d be able to grab snacks and keep away from questions about why she was dragging a sack of old clothes around. But first she had to go get them. Lydia took a breath to make sure she didn’t look like she was just standing on the stairs scheming and strolled in. 

“She’s appeared,” Barbara noted teasingly, looking up from the papers they were plotting out. 

“For now,” Lydia replied, sauntering vaguely in the direction of the door. She felt bad about being so discreet, but she didn’t want to make anyone worry. Right now, it was fine. Just a little secret to keep, until Beej was safe. 

“Is everything alright Lydia?” Adam asked carefully. 

“Yeah, why?” Lydia said, pretending to fiddle with her gloves as she neared the bag of clothes. 

“You seem quiet lately. If you need to talk, we’re here,” Barbara said, her eyes shining with sincerity. Lydia nodded, feeling a flash of guilt. 

“I know. I’m fine, promise. I’m just working on a new personal photo collection. Oh, speaking of, Stepmom, have you been by the photo shack yet?” Lydia looked back. 

Delia glanced up with a smile. “Planning on stopping by tomorrow. If you need something, be sure to write it down on the list. Don’t want a repeat of last time,” she said. Lydia nodded, before turning away, noting the adults' distraction. A single moment, that’s all she took. She had the clothes and was off to the kitchen in a flash, feeling a small rush of adrenaline at the silly heist. 

The kitchen was thankfully empty, leaving Lydia free to grab any snacks of her choosing. She also was quite lucky when she saw her sewing kit on the table. She’d forgotten she’d left it there the night before. Carefully she organized the snacks and kit and clothes between her hands before heading out to the hall, where once more she listened. The living room was only filled with suggestions on storage for potting soil. She was successful in acting natural. 

Up the stairs she dashed, and down the hall to her room, where she quietly closed the door behind her. Only then did Lydia take pause then when she didn’t see any green haired demons hanging around. “Beej?” She asked aloud. 

“Boo!” She looked over to see Beej’s grimy head poking out her bathroom door, looking hopeful. 

Lydia shook her head as she set the stuff down. “Nice try, but I’ve learned the important step of how to not be scared by anything. The art of being dead inside,” she said, sorting clothes out. 

“Aw, you’re so lame! It’s been so long since I heard the beautiful sound of someone screaming in terror,” Beej grumbled, floating to hang over Lydia’s bed, watching as she sorted through clothes. “Oh dibs!” he said when he saw the sour cream and onion chips and whipped cream she’d grabbed as a snack. He greedily ripped the bag open as he squirted whipped cream into his mouth, before peppering chips on top. 

“Sometimes I wonder if you eat those weird combos just to freak me out,” Lydia noted, holding a shirt up to see if it’d fit the demon. 

“Maybe a little. Honestly though? I can’t really experience things that well, sucks I know.  _ But, _ I’ve learned that crazy combos actually tastes like  _ something  _ so I always do this shit when I have the chance,” he explained. 

Lydia considered this new information. “Wait, so… when you were alive for a minute, you were actually hearing the birds for the first time?” 

Beej nodded. “Yup. It’s like I’m buried in a sensory chamber or I guess a grave, my senses are nonexistent, like most dead people, I think,” he said. 

Lydia paused in her work, curious now. “So Beej... how did you die?” She asked. 

Beej paused, cocking his head as he considered this. “Tough question. I guess the answer is when you stabbed me. I’m, like, a deadborn if I remember right? And there’s never really been a deadborn before, that I know of. Ma never really explained any of that to me. So uh, not really any answer for how I died, because I never really died except for that one time. I just popped into existence in the Netherworld one day I guess. And lemme tell ya, total bogus experience, you hear all these newly deads whining and groaning about not wanting to be dead, about wanting to go back, they had a good life or things to do still. I could  _ not  _ relate, and that makes it kind of messy to deal with newly-deads when you try and skip past the whole crying about being dead part so they go to the Netherworld already-” Beej babbled on. 

“Is that why you wanted to be alive so badly?” Lydia interrupted. 

BJ paused to stuff another handful of chips into his mouth. “Duh. After like a millennia of hearing how great life is as a breather and how much the Netherworld sucked, and how I was so weird, and being all alone because of that so often, I wanted to see what was so great about all that life and feeling schtick. I thought,  _ wow, ok maybe I’ll finally understand what the big deal is about life and I’ll finally have friends _ ! And you know what? I totally got it! I mean, I dunno if I wanna go back to being alive again, but it still ended up being a worthwhile experience,” he finished with an exaggerated smile and bat of his eyelashes. 

“What about when you’re summoned? Is that the same?” Lydia continued, dodging spewed crumbs from Beej’s mouth. 

“Well when I’m summoned I’m not fucking invisible anymore, that’s a plus. I can, like, affect things better, and the world can actually affect me! I say it’s like living but you’re colorblind, and wearing nose and ear plugs. I can get that things are happening, just not with that 20/20 clarity you know? But… it’s really not the same.” 

“...BJ, why didn’t you just ask me to help you find a way to come to life if you were so desperate in the first place? Why’d you trick me?” Lydia finally asked after a moment of silence. 

Beej froze and stared at Lydia. “Be- Because you wouldn’t have helped me?” 

“What? How do you know that?” Lydia scowled at the demon’s assumption. 

“Because why would you just… help me? Unless you needed something in return? Like, c’mon Lyds, you’re the smartest person I know, you should get that,” he answered. Lydia stared at him for a long moment, long enough for him to start fiddling his hands nervously. 

“God, you’re serious. You really think people would never just do something nice for you,” she realized. 

Beej fidgeted even more, picking at the string on his sleeves and nervously flexing his fingers. “Well, yeah, c’mon Lyds. It’s  _ me  _ we’re talking about! I’m a loser, no one wants to  _ help _ me,” he was trying to smile, but his hair was starting to fluctuate to a paler peridot. 

“I thought you were just, like, manipulating us because you didn’t care. But you really just don’t know any other way, maybe because of your environment,” Lydia continued. 

“What… whaddya mean?” Beej asked. 

“Well, Juno. She manipulated you, didn’t she?” 

“Yeah, all the time. It’s how she is.” 

“So you only think to manipulate people into helping you because that’s how she raised you, even now,” Lydia said thoughtfully. 

Beej froze. The air around him became cold as he finally drifted down onto the bed. “I… come on Lydia, I don’t… I don’t manipulate… I just… I have to… I…” Beej’s hair became white with tips of purple as he worked through this realization. “Oh Jesus Christ I’m my mother,” he mumbled. 

“Hey no!” Lydia’s hands shot out and she squished Beej’s cheeks, forcing him to focus on her. “You’re not Juno. You know what? She taught you that the only way to do anything was to manipulate people! You did what you had to do in order to survive a toxic environment with no other influences! And now you’re here, and now you know. You know that this is something you’re doing, and that it isn’t a healthy or okay thing to do, and so now, you can change to be better.” 

“Change…” Beej mumbled, blinking, his hair slowly starting to darken to green once more. Lydia sat back and Beej flexed his hands one last time. “You… really sound like an armchair, now that you're seeing a shrink,” he said after taking a deep breath, slowly returning from the edge of his panic attack. 

“If I have to heal so do you,” Lydia smirked, crossing her arms. 

“Hmph... fine. A-Anyways, is this shit salvageable or what?” Beej waved a hand to the forgotten clothes. Lydia picked up a purple t-shirt, and grinned at the way Beej’s eyes lit up. 

“I think we can do something.” 

….

“I’m worried,” Barbara declared when Lydia’s footsteps didn’t return from upstairs. 

Adam looked over to her curiously. “What about?” He asked. Delia paused in her map marking to look up to the ghost as well. 

“It’s just that she’s seemed so withdrawn this past week. Do you think something happened?” Barbara asked. 

“Maybe. But Lydia has grown a lot. If it’s something serious she’ll come talk to us when she’s ready,” Adam pointed out. 

Barbara looked back to the stairs uncertainly, her brows still scrunched together with worry. 

“If it makes you feel better, Lydia still seems to be in a much healthier mental state than before. She’s just hanging out in her room a bit more now. I think it’s a typical teenager thing to retreat to your own environment, get away from all the things you have no control over in the rest of life,” Delia spoke up, her recent psychology lessons leaking through. 

“But what if she’s actually not okay? I just worry, she gets so determined to fix things by herself, even if she has no idea how,” Barb fidgeted with her necklace, carefully turning the silver pendant between her fingers. 

“I’ll talk to her when we go shopping tomorrow, do a little mental check-in to see how she’s doing. Oh! Shoot, it’s four! I need to go check up with Ceecee about that Essence soap shipment. Shall we finish this later?” Delia gestured to the papers. When Barbara and Adam nodded, Delia left to make her phone call. 

The two ghosts decided to head up to the attic themselves for a bit of decompression. 

While passing by Lydia’s closed bedroom door, though, Barbara paused, looking at it strangely. Adam glanced back when he realized Barbara wasn’t behind him, and raised a questioning eyebrow at her. 

“I thought I heard someone,” she said quietly. Adam’s other eyebrow joined the first, and he joined his wife to listen in. What they heard made their nonexistent stomachs drop. 

“-do you mean you can’t bathe? You stink!” 

“‘S not by choice, Scarecrow! Being a rotting dead body does that. I myself would like to see what my handsome face is under this grimy moss look I’ve got going on, but I can’t change anything about my form so long as I’m incorporeal.” 

“Then… let’s just make you corporeal. I’ll summon you.” 

Barbara and Adam were about to leap into the room at that, but a gravely shout stopped them in their place. “No!” 

“Beej..? Hey, talk to me. What’s wrong?” 

The response was too quiet to pick up. Barbara and Adam leaned closer to the door, to try and hear the now quieter conversation better. 

“Beej, that won’t happen.” 

“You don’t know that! What if I like, forget my whole experience of being alive and reset? Go back to how I was before I was alive when I’m summoned? This curse is fucking weird and shitty, and who knows what’s been planned in this story for me! I can’t go back to before, not when I know what this is like, not when I could- I could lose myself…” 

“Ok, ok. No summoning. Promise. I won’t make you do something you’re not comfortable with… At least we know you can wear things on top of the suit... Is it actually comfortable at all, though?” 

A moment of silence where a steadying breath was taken. “I mean, beauty is pain isn’t it?” 

A snort of laughter. “Be serious! C’mon, put this on next. I am kind of proud that I was right about maroon fitting you.” 

“Eh, I still like that color.” 

“Purple? I mean, I guess it goes with the green hair and suspiciously colored smudges on your face.” 

Adam and Barbara backed away from the bedroom door, and shared a grave look. This was bad. Quietly, they quickly continued onto the attic.

“He’s back! And he’s alone with Lydia! And she didn’t tell us!” Adam worried when they reached the attic. 

“What’s he planning, though? It’s unusual he didn’t jump on the chance to get summoned,” Barbara noted as she began to pace around the couch, lost in thought. 

Adam joined her pacing, saying, “I bet he’s building trust, trying to convince Lydia he’s not here for any of that summoning shtick. I bet he’s filling her head with all sorts of lies! Next thing we know Delia and Charles are kicked out, and we’re back to six months ago!” He threw his hands up into the air, his frustration at the situation almost visibly rising. 

“But Lydia is smart. Surely she wouldn’t fall for his tricks again.” 

“We have to tell Charles and Delia. Maybe they’ll know how to go about this. Just, something needs to be done! Carefully, so no one is hurt.” 

Barbara let out a breath, and stopped both her and Adam’s pacing, clasping their hands together. “Yes, yes we do. I just... I just hope Lydia will be safe until then,” she said, glancing to where the teen’s bedroom would be under their floorboards, hiding a demon they thought they all had long moved past. 

. . . .

Beej stared up at the ceiling from the comfort of a few inches above Lydia’s bed, as she made some adjustments to the clothes they spent all afternoon picking out. He glanced around, bored and wanting to do something else new, when he leaned his head back to look out the window. He felt a surge of excitement bolt through him when he saw a twinkle of light appearing in the sky. “Hey, so, how about we switch up the mood from boring as hell and do something I can’t do in the Netherworld at all?” He asked, staring intently out the window. Lydia peered over her shoulder to him, then to where he was looking. 

“...stargazing?” 

“Yeah! There’s no stars in the Netherworld. We can go out and find stupid shapes and give them dumb names,” Beej grinned as if he suggested they go commit arson. Lydia couldn’t help but snort at his strangeness. 

“Yeah, sure. I’ve got a telescope.” 

“You’ve got a  _ what _ ? How rich  _ is _ your dad, ‘cause damn?”

Carefully, so as to not alert anyone, they smuggled the telescope onto the roof, along with a big comforter Lydia kept around her shoulders. Beej seemed confused by the telescope, apparently he hadn’t seen one since the 1200’s, but he seemed ready to just go along with Lydia.

She made some small adjustments to it’s knobs, until finally she could see the stars clearly, and turned to Beej. “Good to go. Wanna look?” She asked. He bounced over and peeked into the lens over Lydia, making her shove at his shoulder. 

“What’s that?” He asked as he peered through, his hair becoming a curious yellow. 

“Your namesake! There’s a star called yours truly, and I thought you’d want to see it,” Lydia grinned, gesturing to the demon. 

Beej blinked, then looked through the telescope again. “Holy shit, I forgot about that thing…” 

“It’s constantly fluctuating in brightness, but in general it’s the second brightest star in the Orion constellation,” Lydia continued, listing off the interesting facts she’d read about the star. 

Beej snorted, “Of course Mother would name me after it then.” 

“Well, who wants to be the brightest? Everyone knows that star, but the second brightest? That guy is a mystery,” Lydia smirked. Beej chuckled and ruffled her hair to chase away the warm fuzzies she had conjured, making the teen squawk in protest and try to shove his arm away. 

Soon Lydia was showing him more constellations she knew, and he told her about ones he saw hundreds of years ago that had migrated and changed over the centuries. It was fun, though slightly chilly. For once, Lydia felt that nothing could ruin this moment, where she and Beej were just being a couple of dumb kids looking for dicks in the arrangements of the ancient gas giants twinkling down on them. 

So of course, something had to go wrong. 

“Lydia, oh my god!” A cry rang out. Lydia and Beej jumped, and everything happened in a second. Both turned to see the Maitlands and Deetz coming out onto the roof in a panic. Lydia felt her footing slide on a loose pile of leaves dotting the roof, and suddenly gravity shifted. She felt herself tilting backwards, and gravity shifted it’s pull on her. 

“ _ Lydia _ !” 

She realized what was happening when she started to feel the wind rushing around her, and her stomach and heart rose up to her throat. The stars filled her vision, and a single thought rang through Lydia’s mind. ‘ _ Oh. I think I’m going to join Dead Mom now _ ’.

Then she screeched to a jerking halt. She looked around, as she was suspended midair and saw Beej hanging over the edge of the roof, his hair terror white, eyes wide with panic, hands stretched, reaching out to her, and concentrating harder than she’s ever seen him before. Slowly, Lydia felt herself moving, and she rose up until she was level with the roof once more, and gently set to her feet. Beej gasped, and plopped back to his knees, panting and chest heaving. 

Slowly Lydia sank down to the roof tiles next to him, releasing a shuddering breath, “Fuck.”

“Agreed,” Beej nodded, hair still white. 

“I almost died, I actually almost died, and didn’t want to,” Lydia mumbled, shocked. That was when Beej keeled over with a cough. “Beej!” 

“Too much, I did too much,” he groaned, green and black ooze starting to drip out of his nose, another hacking cough clawing its way out of his throat. His hair was bleeding into an ashy gray she’d never seen before. 

“Beej, what’s wrong? What happened?” Lydia shook at the demon’s shoulder worriedly, panic starting to fill her. This was too much like a time before, too much like her mother. She couldn’t lose Beej, she just couldn’t! He was her best friend, they were bffffs, they were family! 

“Lydia, Lydia, get away from him!” She heard Barbara cry out, getting over the shock of seeing the teen fall off the roof. Lydia looked over her shoulder, feeling tears starting to leak out of her eyes as her parents started to move towards them once more. It wasn’t supposed to be like this, it wasn’t supposed to be anything like this. 

“He-He’s hurt. Barb please, I don’t know how to help him! He saved me, so please, I can’t- I can’t lose him too, not like Mom!” her voice cut off with a warble, and Lydia buried her head into Beej’s trembling shoulder. “Please, please help, I can’t, I don’t know what to do…” Beej was getting cold, colder than she’d ever felt him. 

A hand clasped her shoulder. Lydia looked up tearfully to see her father looking down at them both with a grim face. “The best way to help is if he’s corporeal. We’ll need to summon him,” he said hesitantly. 

Lydia paused a moment, remembering her promise. Beej was terrified of being summoned, afraid he’d lose all the new experiences and emotions he gained from being alive. But judging from his fluctuating gray and white hair, he was even more scared now. She nodded, taking a slow breath. 

“Beetlejuice.”

The wind in the trees stopped. The crickets became silent. 

“Beetlejuice.”

The stars seemed to become colder and harsher, leering down at the puny specks of life beneath them. Electricity buzzed through the air, as everything held its breath in anticipation...

“ _ Beetlejuice.” _

A crack of thunder and lightning filled the air, a howl ripped through with the wind, blowing old, dead leaves off the roof in a tidal wave, and a contract was made in the Netherworld. The ghost with the most was officially summoned. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So fun fact, the original title of this fic, the title it’s saved to on google docs is ‘Lydia gets Beej therapy’, and honestly if that isn’t what I try to do to my friends lol. Go to therapy guys, even if you’re not struggling rn. Therapy is GREAT.  
> I remember I doodled a comic right when I was getting into the fandom that basically inspired the therapy bit between beej and lyds. Unfortunately I deleted it, whoops, but it pretty much was this. Lydia has learned a lot in the six months she’s been going to therapy, lol.  
> Come chat to me on tumblr [@daydreaming-jessi](https://daydreaming-jessi.tumblr.com/) where I cry upon realizing Big Sandy will not ever exist and the world will be all the worse for that.  
> Edit: Hi!! So quick thing, no you're not crazy, this chapter has been combined with the next, because I thought the two separate were just a bit... short aha. I've done this with a few future chapters, just because I think fifty chapters is ridiculous and it probably should be shorter in all honesty. But yeah, next chapter is deleted, sorry if you miss the comments, but I saved them myself. They will sustain me for the rest of my lives uwu


	4. Wake Up and Apologize Before You Go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The secret has come out, so I guess now is the time to ask ourselves the question we dread the most:  
> Now what?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally posted February 10th, 2020, edited January 6th, 2021

_The great and terrible ghost with the most POV_

  


Beetlejuice dragged his crusty eyelids open. He expected to be met with the brackish black ceiling of the Netherworld reception, with the worried pale faces of the receptionists and case workers, but instead he was met with pale grey-blue walls and no other soul in sight. He was under some bed covers softer than anything he'd ever come into contact with before. His jacket was placed on a hanger on the open door of the fancy looking wardrobe in the corner. It was neatly folded, and looking… fixed. As if someone had stitched it up proper. 

Beetlejuice sniffed as he remembered the wet trickle of oozing blood leaving his nose when his curse had launched back at him for his little levitation stunt. He was fine now? His body was sore, yes, it still felt the aftershocks of the punishment from breaking the curse. But he was still here, existing and in the world of the living. 

He’d never done something like that, use his powers when unsummoned. But seeing Lydia fall, the thought that he was about to  _ see _ his best friend die, that she was about to lose her life after everything she went through, it shocked him enough to break through the shackles of his curse and catch her. He saved Lydia, and he  _ survived _ . 

Now what? 

He should... find Lydia, check to make sure she’s fine and not about to do anything drastic, figure out his situation and how long he had before he had to run, and plan out the next course of action. Before he could even get out of bed, though, the door opened. 

“Oh, you’re awake.” 

“Beej!” Something launched itself at him, and Beej almost tumbled out of bed from the colliding weight, all before he could even turn his head to see who came in. 

“Lydia, you’re gonna konk him out again! Give him some space.” That was Delia talking, and it was Lydia currently holding Beej in a headlock that she probably called a hug. 

“He almost died, give me a minute,” Lydia replied, her voice muffled by Beej’s dress shirt. 

“...kid, you and I both know I still reek of dead body rot and so on,” Beej eventually noted when he got his senses back. 

“Almost died, Beej,” Lydia reiterated stubbornly. 

“Right, ok. Well, when you’re done can someone fill me in on what’s going on?” Beej looked around, his skin prickling, feeling on edge. 

How long was  _ this _ development gonna last? How long would he have to stay here before he was rightfully kicked out? Where could he possibly go afterwards? 

“Well you almost died on me like a complete ass, and passed out for two days. I summoned you so we could keep you from dying, and now we’re here,” Lydia explained, finally pulling away. 

“Two days, huh? Well, that’s not so bad. I expected to be in the Netherworld in Mother fear’s office, so I guess that curse isn’t  _ as _ potent as previously thought,” Beej mused aloud. 

“I think being summoned helped. You stopped bleeding quite so much when Lydia summoned you. Um, how are you feeling?” Delia asked, setting down the items she had brought on the gray nightstand next to the bed. A thermometer, a glass of water, and a... towel? Breathers and their affinity for towels. 

“Like I’ve gone on a two-day bender, hangover headache included, with no fun memories of the previous high, so.  _ Not _ worth it. Except maybe for the Scarecrow being alive I guess,” Beej replied, glancing to Lydia. 

The teen stuck her tongue out, then snatched the glass of water up and placed it in Beej’s hand. “Drink up then. Some hangovers are theorized to be cases of severe dehydration,” Lydia ordered. 

“No kidding? The things breathers learn every century,” Beej said before taking a sip of water. Even if he was dead and didn’t even need to ingest things, doing something helped to ground and distract his mind from his body painfully repairing itself from the damage the curse left behind. 

“I’m glad you’re not in  _ too _ bad of shape. We should go tell Charles and the Maitlands,” Delia said. 

Lydia winced. “Can’t we let Beej have a minute? He’s still disoriented,” she gestured to Beej trying to carefully set the water down without spilling, wanting to not anger someone right out the gate. 

“Lydia,” Delia sighed. 

“Just a minute, Stepmom, please? Beej and I need to talk, it’s important!” 

“Important like keeping him in your room for almost two weeks without telling anyone?” Delia crossed her arms and raised an eyebrow. 

“Yes, even more so.” 

Delia worried her lips, then broke down. “Alright, a few minutes. But I’m going to be right out that door,” she pointed to the very object. 

“Thank you,” Lydia said. Delia gave her a strained smile and one last curious look to Beej before leaving. 

Lydia’s shoulders sagged when the door closed. “I thought you were gone,” she mumbled. She leaned against Beej, rubbing at her eyes furiously. Beej felt a drop in his gut, thinking about what Lydia must’ve been thinking, seeing him in that earlier state. He knew it was quite a gruesome sight to those unused to it. 

Slowly, he laid an awkward arm around her shoulders and gave them a squeeze. “Sorry.”

Lydia shrugged half heartedly. “You kind of saved my life, so I guess I can’t be too upset at you. I… I’m sorry I broke my promise. No one knew how else we could help you without making you corporeal,” she sniffed. 

“Eh. I’m still me. Guess it makes up for it. Can’t be upset at you really, you kind of saved my afterlife,” Beej smirked. Lydia cracked a small smile at the parroting of her words. There she was. 

“Welp, now the others know I’m here. I guess I’ll be gone soon,” he sighed eventually, breaking the moment. 

Lydia furiously shook her head. “Hell no! We’re going to convince them to let you stay, I’m not gonna give up on you, Beej!” 

“Lyds…” Beetlejuice closed his eyes. “Scarecrow. Life… life isn’t fair. ‘Specially not for me.You’ve been the greatest bfffff ever, though, so... thanks.” He squeezed her shoulder again, “But now it's time to face the truth. The odds of  _ anyone  _ wanting me to stay  _ anywhere  _ are nonexistent. I’ve got nothing in the department of ‘Good reasons to let Mr. Beebleboose stay with you’. It’s time I go back to the Netherworld. And face Mom,” Beetlejuice sighed heavily. 

“No!” Lydia lurched forward and squeezed Beetlejuice in yet another surprise hug. “I’ve got all the reasons for you to stay! You need a safe place, and we have it! Juno hurt you all your life and shouldn’t get to hurt you anymore! I’m not gonna let that happen! I’m not gonna let you go...” The tears had reappeared. 

“Lydia,” Beej felt his heart break. It hurt him to put Lydia through this. He really was getting soft. Then again, no one really cared like this before. Carefully he placed a hand on the back of Lydia’s head and gently ran it through her raven black locks, soothing her as he’d like to be soothed when upset like this. “It’s gonna be okay, Lyds. You’ve done enough. Really. I’m gonna be okay.” He will never tell you if this was meant to comfort himself as well. 

The door, unseen to the two, softly reclosed and Delia took a step back. 

Ever since the roof incident, hell ever since Adam and Barbara came to her and Charles pale faced and saying Lydia was hiding Beetlejuice in her room almost two nights ago now, Delia had been trying desperately to understand what was going on in Lydia’s head. She’d thought Lydia had made great progress in her mental journey, and to see the teen take such a terrible plunge out of nowhere left Delia reeling and confused as to how this possibly could’ve happened. After seeing that talk the two had, though, Delia understood now. Now, she felt she could face this situation properly. Delia turned and went downstairs, leaving her step daughter and the demon to talk privately. 

She headed to the living room where she saw Barbara and Adam pacing the rug and worrying to each other, while Charles sat contemplatively on the arm of the couch, thinking. 

“Lydia wants him to stay here, after everything! There has to be something- he must have something on her!” Barbara said. 

“How can we show her how terrible an idea this is? She had to stab him to stop him before, how could she want him to stay here again?” Adam added. 

“Charles?” Delia asked her fiance softly, the Maitlands too wrapped up in worrying to bother. 

Charles straightened up and glanced around, looking for Lydia. “Is she keeping watch again?” He asked. 

“Well... Beetlejuice finally woke up. And Lydia is determined to keep him here and safe,” Delia explained. 

Charles’ brow knit together. “Safe from what? He’s a demon. A demon that tried to kill us multiple times among many other things,” he said. 

“Well… it has to do with that Juno woman, I think. You remember how she talked to him,” was all Delia could answer. 

Charles sighed, “She’s just like Emily, wanting to help if she could, even if it’s a terrible idea.” 

“Well... Maybe it  _ isn’t _ a terrible idea?” Delia began. 

“ _ What _ ?” 

Delia winced. Of all times for the Maitlands to finally pay attention... 

“Delia, did you forget the death game show he put us on?” Barbara asked. 

“How he almost got Barbara exorcised?” Adam added. 

“And made that Otho guy disappear to who knows where? Did you forget that Beetlejuice forced Lydia to  _ marry  _ him?” Barbara finished, looking astounded. 

Delia held her hands up. “Of course we’ll need to set boundaries and rules, but Lydia has kept Beetlejuice here for almost two weeks without any sign of trouble. Look, I understand that this is difficult. The guy is perverse, creepy, and a bit unstable, but he cares about Lydia and she cares about him. And, well... I don’t want to send anyone back to an abusive place,” Delia clasped her crystal lined necklace with finality. 

Everyone flinched, remembering their first impression of who was apparently the demon’s mother. “It’s… it’s not a good thought, no. But keeping Beetlejuice here? He’s not safe! We can’t trust him to not go off the rails like last time. What if Lydia gets hurt?” Adam asked. 

“I believe in giving people second chances. After all, Beetlejuice said so himself. Being alive changed him, made him respect life better. He saved us from his mother, and saved Lydia twice more now, and I have no doubt he’ll do it a third and any time after,” Delia replied. 

“But he’s still… him!” Barbara pointed out exasperatedly. She wasn’t wrong. They had no idea if Beetlejuice had any lesson on human decency while he was gone, and the idea of living with his perversions twenty four seven… 

“Guys?” 

Everyone whipped around to see Lydia and Beetlejuice at the top of the stairs. Lydia marched down when they had the adults' attention, Beetlejuice right behind, looking more like a shaken child than an ancient demon. They stopped inside the doorway to the sitting room. “I know what you’re gonna say, and I get it. But hear us out first. Please? Beej has something he has to say.” 

Lydia nodded to Beetlejuice. He ticked nervously, flexing his hands and rocking on his feet, looking as if he wanted to be anywhere but here, trying desperately to say whatever it was he needed to say. “I, eh, I should… see the thing is I… well I… I-I’msorryforwhatIdidlasttime,” he quickly spat out. 

“You're… what?” Adam asked, all of them blinking in confusion. 

Beetlejuice groaned. “Scarecrow I literally can’t do this.” 

Lydia elbowed him. “C’mon, Beej. Slower.” 

Beetlejuice hung his head, taking a deep breath, and Lydia squeezed his forearm. He straightened up, as if impaled by a ruler, eyes glowing a determined green. “I’m sorry for last time. My bad, I sucked. Was uncool and stuff. Did threatenings I shouldn’t have, blew up on a misunderstanding, tried to get Babs exorcised, kill y’all, trick you, marry Lydia,  _ ugh _ , and that was all stupid and wrong of me. So... yeah. Sorry ‘bout that. Cool,” he gave half hearted finger guns. 

Lydia jumped in then. “Juno’s back in the Netherworld, and she’ll really hurt Beej if he ever returns after he helped us. I know it seems like a bad idea, but… Beej needs help. Please, he needs somewhere safe to stay. I know I shouldn’t have kept this from you guys, but I also knew you wouldn’t like it and I didn’t know what to do, but now... Now we’re here. And,” she shook her head, “I’m not letting Beej go anywhere near the Netherworld. I’m helping him. Whether that’s letting him stay here or finding him  _ somewhere _ safe to stay. So. Yeah,” her arms hung limply at her sides, suddenly afraid. 

The four adults exchanged glances. Adam opened and closed his mouth twice, Barbara murmured Lydia’s name hesitantly, and Delia tightly clasped her hands together, but it was Charles that properly spoke up first, after being so uncharacteristically quiet. “Lydia,” he stood and moved to his daughter, gently clasping her shoulders. “Do you trust Beetlejuice? After everything, honestly. Do you trust him?” He and Lydia stared each other in the eye. Beetlejuice fidgeted, but didn’t butt into the moment. 

“Yeah, Dad. I trust him,” Lydia nodded. Charles took a deep breath. 

“If you trust him, then... I’ll trust you. I’m willing to give this a chance. Everyone?” He turned to the other adults. 

Delia nodded. “I’m willing too,” she said. She turned to Adam and Barbara, the couple clinging onto each other, looking unsure. “What about you guys?” 

“Do we really have a say?” Adam asked. 

“It’s your home, as much as it is ours. If you’re not comfortable, then we’ll think of something else,” Charles replied. 

Adam and Barbara exchanged a look, then Barbara straightened and turned to Beetlejuice, still huddled behind Lydia. “No more tricks, no more harassment of any kind, and no more lies,” she said sternly. 

Beetlejuice glanced around for a moment, then slowly nodded. “I’ll uh, be on my best behavior,” he said, raising his right hand as if performing Scouts honor, even though he didn’t know what that actually was. 

“I’ll kick his ass if he isn’t,” Lydia promised. 

“She will,” Beetlejuice noted, with a fond smirk. 

Barbara and Adam gave one last look to each other, then turned to everyone else and nodded. “Okay. He can stay,” Adam sighed. 

Lydia rushed forward, squeezing them tight with a hug. “Thank you!” came her muffled voice. The Maitlands happily hugged her back. 

“Well, I suppose the guest room will be your room then. And we should probably figure out what to do for clothing, since yours is covered in demon blood now,” Delia said, clasping her hands and smiling tightly. 

“Oh, oh my god you can shower now! Beej you need to shower like right now,” Lydia peeled away from the Maitlands to grin at the demon. Beetlejuice wrinkled his nose. 

“Eugh, do I really have to?” He asked. 

“I’m not giving you the clothes we made until you shower. I will not have you instantly stain them with your gross goop,” Lydia said flatly, crossing her arms. 

Beetlejuice and Lydia had a small glaring contest until the demon slumped back. “ _ Fine _ , but I don’t want to hear any of your complaints when I clog up the drain with all my goop,” he started to shuffle towards the stairs. 

“Lydia, you made more clothes?” Adam asked. 

“Oh, yeah I, uh, took Dad’s goodwill stuff and turned them into clothes for Beej, so he would stop looking like a homeless man. It didn’t work out ‘cause he was incorporeal, so it had to go over his suit, but now he can actually wear them! And not smell like a dead body. This is gonna work out.” Lydia grinned triumphantly. 

“Wait, how do you work these things? I haven’t seen a water closet since the 1800’s, what  _ are _ all these nozzles?” Beetlejuice’s voice rang out upstairs. Lydia’s smile became a thin line of concern. 

“Doesn’t he know about Pilates? How does he know that, but not showers?” Delia asked. 

“This is going to be a thing for a while,” Charles decided. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You really think I was gonna kill him? Naw, we got more found family shit to go through, lol. Now it’s time for even MORE shenanigans :D  
> Hit me up on tumblr [@daydreaming-jessi](https://daydreaming-jessi.tumblr.com/) where I wonder about the odds of sandy coming into my life and making everything great  
> Edit: A. So much editing, so many mistakes to fix, so much awkward text to cut down and try to make better. Is it better? idk, im just a lil noodle slapping random keyboards and trying to string sentences together


	5. Someone’s in the Kitchen with Delia

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Why do these fanfic authors always make Beetlejuice shower and change? Is it not enough to just have him here in his natural depressed/manic state of misery? At least this one is creative enough to add in the new element of cooking.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally posted February 14th, 2020, edited January 9th, 2021

Beej stared at his reflection. His skin was still stained with green and purple, he was still scruffy, but his hair was a bit more lively now, the moss was scrubbed off, and he wasn’t as grayskinned anymore. His body felt lighter, and there did seem to be a scent that seemed to replace an old one. It was all  _ very _ strange. 

Lydia came into the bedroom, hauling in the last of the clothes they’d altered and setting them carefully on the bed. “Dad says the sheets should be clean before bed. They weren’t too badly stained by demon gunk. Nothing the internet couldn’t solve, at least,” Lydia said, sorting the clothes diligently. She glanced up to see Beej had pulled on a pair of dark joggers and mismatched socks, but he was caught by the mirror, it seemed, before he pulled his shirt on. “Beej?” She asked. 

“Is this actually happening?” He asked, his voice off pitch. 

Lydia stepped over, glancing into the mirror. He was so pale, even compared to her. His skin really did have abnormal blood running through it, if any at all. “It is, BJ,” Lydia reassured him, looking back to him. She startled. “Is that..?” She pointed to his chest. Beej glanced down to the spot she was pointing at. 

“Ah. Yeah. Yeah it is,” he replied awkwardly. 

A scar, though there were multiple on him, this was a perfect sphere that sat right in the middle of his chest. If someone checked his back, they’d see it ran on through, like a bullet was shot through, or maybe a  _ rod _ shoved through instead. 

They both were quiet for a long moment. 

“Did it… hurt really bad?” Lydia finally asked, breaking the awkward silence. 

Beej shrugged, seeming to come out of his catatonic state. “A lotta stuff hurt. A lot. Couldn’t really think about it at the moment,” he said. 

Lydia slowly nodded. “That day sucked,” she decided. 

Beej grimaced in agreement. “Yeah. Yeah it did.” 

“You know, now that you’re here for real, how are you gonna continue your soul quest? Find your dad and all?” Lydia asked. 

Beej sighed and tugged the shirt on, hiding his scars, trying not to think about the Netherworld workers that helped him with his search. The shirt was made of a strange material, he never felt something like this before. It was soft. 

“Scarecrow, I don’t think I’m ever gonna find him,” he finally admitted. 

“C’mon, don’t say that. Maybe we can help!” Lydia looked determined. That was never a good sign. 

“I don’t even know his name, if he was ever even a human, and honestly? I have no idea how looking for him was helping me find my soul. All it did was remind me of how long it’d been since I’d seen him, and how much I forgot my past. Apparently it’s hard to keep track of a millennia of memories,” he sighed. 

Lydia squinted. “There’s more than you’re letting on.” 

Beej glanced over to her for a second before turning away, done with the conversation. “It’s complicated, Lyds. It always is,” he said. Then he shook his head. “Whaddya think? Do I look sexy or what?” He changed the subject, straightening up and placing his hands on his hips. 

Lydia wrinkled her nose, but let the subject slide. “What,” she replied flatly instead. 

“Ah. I suppose you have horrible taste then, considering you’re the one that picked these out,” Beej turned back to the mirror, fidgeting with the smoky grey t-shirt. He wasn’t completely used to anything outside of his suit. 

Lydia snorted and smacked his arm. “God you’re weird. You look cool, that’s what I was heading for when I picked stuff out,” she smirked. 

“But Lydia, how will I ever woo the Sexy Maitlands if  _ I _ don’t look sexy?” Beej whined. 

“Probably by being,  _ gasp _ , charming to them, rather than inappropriate!” 

“That never works. You have to have a cute face and a not-depressed personality. I have neither. I am ruggedly sexy in certain lights, but charming is never applicable to me,” Beej explained. 

Lydia rolled her eyes and simply dragged Beej out of the room, shutting  _ that _ conversation down. “Now that you’re free to wander the place, it’s time I show you the coolest thing ever in this house,” she declared, as they started to make their way downstairs. 

“But I’m right here,” he said. 

Lydia elected to ignore him as she dragged him to the kitchen. There Delia was pulling things out for dinner. The older woman glanced up and did a double take. “Oh! You actually have skin under that grime!” She said. 

Beej and Lydia snorted. “Yeah, they don’t exactly have showers that work on non corporeal forms in the Netherworld,” Beej said, smirking. 

“Hm. So before I die, I should get a shower first. Noted,” Delia turned back to the spice cupboard. Beej couldn’t help but grin at the breather’s seemingly new nonchalant attitude about death. She probably spent too much time around Lydia. 

“We’ll be downstairs,” Lydia said, heading to a door tucked between the cupboards that Beej hadn’t noticed before when he was watching the Maitlands or running the house himself. 

“Alright. I’ll be starting dinner soon, so don’t get too caught up down there,” Delia said, pushing jars aside in her search for something. 

“Got it,” Lydia unlatched the door, opening it with a creak, and grabbed Beej’s arm once more. 

Into the pitch black opening they went, carefully tromping down groaning wooden stairs. Lydia reached up and clicked on a light a few steps down, lighting up the small staircase, and Beej glanced back to the door they entered, barely left open ajar. 

“Uh, is this some kind of secret sacrificial chamber basement? What’re we doing?” He asked. He of course trusted Lydia, but he also knew that she would pull shit on him in an instant, and had need to be leery of suspicious basement escapades. 

“You’ll see,” Lydia said cryptically, stepping off the last wooden beam onto the concrete floor below. 

She led Beej into a dim room, where a water heater sagged in one corner, a few spider webs were built just out of reach, the strange scent of incense lingered in the air, and another large wooden door was set in the brick walls. A sign was set to the side, reading “Development in progress”, which was currently off. 

Beej raised an eyebrow, starting to come to an idea of what Lydia was about to show him. She carefully opened the door, keeping Beej from seeing inside as she flicked another light on, before turning back with a smirk. “Presenting, the Dark Room!” She pushed the door open with a flourish, gesturing grandly. 

“Dark room, huh? Some kind of kink-“ 

“It’s not a kink room.” 

Beej ruffled her hair teasingly with a grin as he stepped in, carefully looking around, noting the plastic bins, the lines of pictures strung carefully around the walls, the cabinet containing a variety of bottles and jugs, and the bundle of crystals in one corner. 

“Nice set up. Haven’t seen one of these in years,” he finally said. Lydia grinned, pleased. 

“Stepmom helped, ergo crystals. She actually knows a lot about dark rooms surprisingly, said she was in a yearbook club so she developed some photos. I’ve been trying all kinds of dodging and burning techniques, those are some current experiments,” she pointed to the strung up photos, showing parts of the house and some places Beej never saw. “I’ve been trying to see if I could get any picture to show Adam and Barbara at all, and I feel like this is the closest I’ve gotten so far, ‘cause it actually shows  _ something _ ,” Lydia continued, pulling a photo down and handing it to Beej. 

He delicately took it before studying the photo with a critical eye. It was in the attic, near the door leading out to the balcony. Lydia wasn’t wrong, there was  _ something _ there. A light couple of dots, barely there, and maybe, just maybe, there was an outline of some sort of two people. 

“I have to say, you’d probably have a business in the Netherworld if you ever manage to get this right. Lotta souls there want a memento to try and keep themselves sane,” he noted, carefully handing the photo back. 

Lydia huffed a small laugh. “Great, I can become a millionaire on ghost bucks.” 

“Well hey, you’d also have pictures of dead people, you could probably sell that shit to like, grieving families and stuff,” Beej replied with a grin. Lydia gave him a flat look, but there was still a ghost of a smile on her face. 

“This is all good practice for me. There’s a photography class at school, and I, of course, signed up. Hopefully I’ll be semi capable when I attend,” she continued, setting the photo back. 

Beej watched for a moment, considering the breather in front of him. Last he saw her, she was ready to die. Now she was lively, excited, actually ready for a future. He then considered himself. Just a couple weeks ago, in breather time, he was sitting in a dark, musky office searching for someone he wasn’t sure he wanted to know. A couple weeks ago he couldn’t even think of this house without feeling like he was gonna fall apart. A couple weeks ago, he was waiting to be all alone again as everyone realized what he was really like. A couple weeks ago, he was ready to waste away for eternity once more. Now here he was in a nice smelling dark room in a basement, feeling ready for tomorrow, ready for Lydia to keep showing him new things going on in her new life, as if he never betrayed her trust over his dumb mistake, as if he almost didn’t ruin her life. He didn’t have to think about Juno every other second, he didn’t have to think about how long he had until he had to come up with a new plan. It was startling, even terrifying to realize that he trusted this breather, this place. He trusted Lydia would do her best to help him be safe. He was finally feeling safe. He was ready to move on, like Lydia. 

“Holy shit.” Beej interrupted Lydia mid explanation of one of her photos, causing her to look at him questioningly. 

His legs couldn’t stand anymore, and so Beej sank to the floor, his hair tinting into a more lime like green. “This  _ is _ real,” he murmured, grabbing a handful of his hair. Lydia nodded, letting Beej come to terms with everything at his own pace, however long it took. He was grateful. 

….

Delia heard footsteps coming up the stairs, just as she was starting up the oven. 

“Just in time. Wanna help with dinner?” Delia asked. 

“Sure. Can Beej join?” 

Delia straightened up from the oven, watching as it started to heat up, before glancing over to the demon still slouched behind Lydia, “Have you ever cooked before?” 

“Uh, I’ve eaten things before,” he slowly replied. Delia and Lydia stared at him for a moment. 

“Well, I’ve only just started to learn how to cook, as well. Out of everyone in the house, I’m one of the least experienced, and as I say, it never hurts to learn how to take care of yourself!” Delia cut through the silence with a clap of her hands, starting to feel excited. 

“Er, yeah. Ok,” Beetlejuice looked uncertain still. 

“It’ll be easy, Beej. You love to set stuff on fire,” Lydia said, walking to the sink to wash her hands. 

“I do love to set things on fire,” Beetlejuice grinned. 

“Oh, that’s a cute nickname! Beej, it’s adorable,” Delia hummed. 

Beetlejuice looked as if he just swallowed a lemon, and Lydia snickered, causing him to glare at her. “The nickname’s kind of a necessity, unless I wanna run the risk of being sent back to the Netherworld,” he said hesitantly, shoving his hands into his pockets. 

Lydia and Delia looked to him in alarm. “Wait, seriously?” Lydia asked. 

Beetlejuice nodded. “Yeah, if you’re dissatisfied with the creature you summoned, you just perform the summoning ritual again to send them away. Mine is the whole name thing, so if it’s said thrice again, I’m out.” He jutted a thumb over his shoulder. 

“Well that won’t do. You don’t seem fond of the nickname, though,” Delia said. 

Beetlejuice shrugged. “It’s fine if Lyds says it, we’re bfffffs, bffffffs do nicknames and stuff, but hearing someone else say it is  _ weird _ .” 

Delia tapped her chin thoughtfully. “Well, do you have another name then? Maybe… Mr. Juice? Although, that seems a bit formal for you...” 

Beetlejuice and Lydia grinned. “Oh my god, Mr. Juice, I love that,” Lydia laughed. 

“That’s pretty great. I mean, the whole BJ name is only my middle name, though, so it’s not completely right I guess?” Beetlejuice pondered. 

Delia’s eyes widened. Now they were getting somewhere. “Middle name huh? So what’s your first name?” 

Beetlejuice froze, and he was twitching now, his eyes tired as they looked away, studying the kitchen intently. “Ah it’s nothing special. Just. It’s a dumb name really, no one ever remembers it,” he said. 

“Wait, now I wanna know what it is. Is it embarrassing?” Lydia was smirking. 

Beetlejuice gave a weak chuckle. “Ah I mean you guys heard it. When uh, Mom showed up.” 

Delia thought for a moment, thinking back to the crazy moment. The demon lady, Juno, showed up. Beetlejuice and her talked, he tried to convince her to leave Lydia be. Juno seemed to soften for a moment, and said… “Lawrence.” 

Beetlejuice froze, before looking back to Delia wide eyed. He seemed so surprised. 

Delia smiled, continuing, “That’s right, it’s Lawrence isn’t it? That’s a nice name. Has good, positive energy to it. How about we call you Lawrence then?” 

For a moment, Beetlejuice was silent and stared at Delia, and for once it seemed impossible to tell what he was thinking. Then, slowly, he gave a tiny nod. “Ye-yeah. Yeah, ok. That’s… that’s okay.” 

Delia beamed, pleased as punch at the small look of awe in Lawrence’s radioactive green eyes. 

“Lawrence is alright. I’ll probably still call you Beej and stuff though, cool?” Lydia asked, pulling a mixing bowl down. 

Lawrence seemed to shake himself out of his reverie, looking over to Lydia and nodding. “That’s cool, Scarecrow.” 

“Now that that’s settled, let’s tackle the next task. Learning to cook! Tonight’s recipe is smoked tofu with spinach puffs. Lawrence, hand me that pack of tofu, we need to dry it first if I remember correctly.” 

It turned out that Lawrence really did know about as much about cooking as he did personal space. He seemed clumsy with most cooking utensils, almost snapping a wooden spoon in half and bending a bowl out of shape, but, surprisingly, Delia and Lydia found they could trust him with a knife. He managed to mince the spinach and garlic perfectly, as well as slice the tofu into even squares, all without a single nick. 

“How did you get so good with knives?” Delia asked, impressed by his skill. 

Lawrence smirked. “You really wanna know the answer to that question, Debra?” He asked, a dangerous glitter in his eyes. Delia wisely decided she didn’t. 

They managed to throw together a dinner that was something edible and vegan, as by Delia’s requirements. Of course, she didn’t force everyone to eat vegan, but no one in the house was put off by the recipes she brought forth for food, and all were happy to make things easier by just eating meals everyone could eat. It seemed Lawrence had zero objections to the food as well, thankfully, not making a peep about the ingredients during their culinary process. 

Delia was delighted that she didn’t set anything on fire and the kitchen was only slightly messy, and called this dinner a success when she tested the puffs and tofu and didn’t instantly gag. Lydia nudged Lawrence to nod at him proudly. His hair flushed pink at the tips and he elected to shove his hands into his pockets and ignore the teen. 

Delia called for the others, Adam and Barbara appearing in an instant to set the table. 

“They figured out teleportation, eh?” Lawrence noted as he and Lydia watched the couple set the dishes in place. 

“Yeah. Hey, how many powers do ghosts have exactly?” Lydia asked. Delia noted that Barbara and Adam were listening in now, probably curious themselves. Lawrence shrugged with a grunt, unhelpfully. Lydia elbowed him. “Hey, maybe you can help them figure their powers out. Seeing as you are a ghost and all,” she pointed out. 

“Kid, I’m a demon. Entirely different power set than ghosts. I can do things those two could never dream of doing,” Lawrence replied. 

“I mean, you possessed them, and they can possess people too. You floated around everywhere, and those guys can make themselves and others float,” Lydia said flatly. 

Lawrence leaned away, avoiding eye contact. “I mean, I could, but they’re figuring it out just fine. Never hurts to let a baby learn by itself, right?” 

Lydia shook her head, but dinner was ready to be served before she could say anything else. 

Charles came down the stairs with tired eyes and a deep set frown. “Looks like Dad has arisen from his capitalistic paperwork grave,” Lydia noted, now seated next to Lawrence at the dinner table. 

“Ooo, you have a paper grave in the house? I call dibs,” Lawrence grinned. 

Charles slumped into the chair, rubbing his face. “If I didn’t think it’d lead to us going bankrupt, I’d let you have it. But I have to take care of the mess everyone else made,” he grumbled. The adults made sympathetic faces, while Lydia served herself and Lawrence watched blankly, trying to figure out how paper could possibly lead someone to going bankrupt. Times really do change fast. 

Food started to be dished out, the typical three plates were made up, as the Maitlands were unable to eat food. Lydia paused though, as she noticed Beej staring at the fourth plate in front of him, poking it, slightly looking confused. “Beej, aren’t you gonna eat?” She asked. 

He started, before looking over to her. “I…. I’m dead,” he said. 

“Yeah, and? You ate all that stuff before,” Lydia said flatly. 

“Well I didn’t think you’d want to feed a hopeless cause and waste food,” Beej grumbled, picking at his nails carefully. 

“You helped cook this, Lawrence, you’re free to eat it,” Delia pointed out. 

A confused silence fell over the table, before Charles broke it, realizing, “Oh, right. Your name is Lawrence.” 

The demon let out a groan. “Oh god is this gonna be a thing?” 

Barbara pressed her hand to her mouth. “Did you want us to call you Lawrence when you told us?” She asked, sounding shaken. 

“Yep it’s turning into a thing. God, it’s whatever, okay? Don’t make it a thing, Babs.” 

“You know you kind of are making it a thing by being a drama queen about whatever  _ the thing _ is,” Lydia rolled her eyes as she sipped her drink. Beej glared at her in response. 

“ _ So _ , Lawrence, feel free to eat as you please, and I suppose this is his way of asking you all to call him Lawrence instead of his middle name,” Delia cut in. 

“Beetlejuice is actually a name,” Charles said flatly. 

“Yes, Charles. It is actually a name. A stupid name, I’ll give you that, but it’s a name,” Lawrence replied. 

“It’s after the star,” Lydia said, pushing Lawrence’s plate towards the food meaningfully. 

The demon let out a grumble and finally scooped himself a serving, as if no one could see the way he was longingly staring at it moments before. 

“I… it’s not pronounced the same, though,” Adam looked flabbergasted. 

“It’s Beej we’re talking about, he breaks every sense of convention,” Lydia smirked. 

“What’s the point of rules if not to break them,” Lawrence agreed. The four adults exchanged looks at that, getting a very bad feeling in the pits of their stomachs at the mindset the demon seemed to hold still. 

Lydia badgered Lawrence to eat more food, ignoring his protests about him not  _ needing _ to even eat, replying that all that mattered was that he  _ liked _ eating, so he was free to do so. Barbara and Adam looked amused by the whole thing, while Delia and Charles elected to let the two bicker and enjoy their meal peacefully. 

When food was done, Charles and Delia started to clean up. “Lydia, go check the laundry sheets and set up Lawrence’s room if they’re ready, please?” Charles asked as he set leftovers away. 

Lydia hummed in response and dragged Beej to the basement once more, down to the laundry room, leaving the adults to themselves. 

“I can’t believe this, but he actually seems… behaved,” Barbara noted, she and Adam still at the dining table, enjoying the relaxed evening energy that permeated the house. 

“It’s only been a day. Let’s see him settle in before we note anything about his behavior,” Adam said. 

“I know but he… seems at ease? Remember how wound up he was before? It seemed like he was always on edge but now he seems… okay,” Barbara gestured, adorably in Adam’s opinion. 

“I mean… I suppose you’re not wrong. And Lydia seems happier than ever. I didn’t think she was unhappy before, necessarily, but she seems… even better,” Adam admitted. Barbara nodded enthusiastically. “But it’s still only been one day. We have to give this time,” he added quickly. 

“Of course. I can’t imagine he’s not a needy pervert still,” Barbara said with a roll of her eyes. Adam had to kiss her cute face then. 

In the kitchen, Charles considered his words carefully as he soaped up the dirty dishes. “We need to talk to Lydia,” he decided. 

“What about?” Delia asked, putting away a plate. 

“There’s still the matter that she kept a secret like this from us. It feels too much like before, when we weren’t talking at all,” he explained. 

Delia paused in her task to really look at Charles, see the tight pinch of worry in his brows. “It is a little concerning,” she agreed. “Maybe when Lawrence is set up, we should talk to her privately. Not like she’s in trouble, or anything, but…” 

“No, we just want her to know that she doesn’t need to hide things from us. We’ll try to understand, to talk  _ with _ her about situations she’s in,” Charles said. 

“Just when you think you’ve got everything sorted out in life, a new crop of problems appear. Otho never prepared me for anything like this,” Delia chuckled, a hint of bitterness seeping into her voice. 

“You’re doing great. Lydia has never been doing better, and you said that you’re learning a lot in your courses,” Charles reminded her gently. 

In the past six months since they moved here, Delia had been taking online psychology classes. She’d decided that the lessons Otho taught her really weren’t all too helpful in the long run, and she wanted to  _ really _ help people in tough situations. She learned quite a bit in the short time already, and realized that Otho really was just being a self focused prick in his lessons. It still hurt to think she was so desperate that she fell for such an obvious ploy, though. 

Delia shook her head clear. Those thoughts wouldn’t do. What she really needed to do was make sure Charles was prepared to talk to Lydia rather than have the whole thing dissolve into an argument. They’ve all made good progress on better communication, but old habits were easy things to fall into. 

“We just need to talk, no lecturing or talking down, just explaining our worries,” Delia reminded her fiancé. Charles nodded as he opened the drain to the sink. 

“Just talk,” he repeated. 

Down in the laundry room, Lydia flapped blankets out of the dryer with flourishes, checking over for any remaining stains. Beej was sniffing laundry detergents, taking an occasional sip if they met his standards, whatever those were. 

“Do demons dream?” Lydia asked suddenly. Beej paused in his sampling to consider this question. 

“Define dreaming,” he said. 

Lydia gestured he help her fold a sheet she pulled out, and he begrudgingly assisted. “Lil scenarios that your brain plays out in your sleep,” she decided. 

“Define sleep,” Beej said after another moment of consideration. His folding of the sheet was much messier than Lydia’s. 

“C’mon, answer at least  _ one _ of my questions tonight,” Lydia snapped. 

Beej paused and sighed. He felt bad, he didn’t want to ever keep Lydia in the dark again, but some things were too hard for him to explain. He’d try for this, though. 

“I think maybe I do now. After I was alive. Before I didn’t really… sleep. I don’t know what it was, I just remember newly-dead’s being all ‘Sleep is laying still doing nothing for hours’, and I’d do that cause I wanted to be left alone. But then I was alive and it, like, flipped a switch? Now I get all the things newly-dead’s talk about, y’know? I actually sleep instead of pretend or going into this weird coma state,” he explained. 

“Coma state?” Lydia pulled out a pillowcase next. 

“Well, if I pushed myself too hard power wise, I’d basically stop. I was aware of the world around me enough to run to safety if I needed to, but otherwise my body would freeze until it was ready to go again,” Beej said. 

“Sounds horrible,” Lydia wrinkled her nose at the scenarios that brought up. 

Beej shrugged. “It was my thing. Now that I sleep, I guess I do have these dreams. And they’re wild stuff, lemme tell you.”

“Oh yeah? So what does a demon dream about?” 

“Ok so like, one time I was wandering around Constantinople, and like, this guy I knew once, his name was Carl, ran up to me and told me that you were trying to pick a fight with a mongoose, and I was all shit I wanna see, so I tried to find you and Carl was just following me, but I found Sandy wearing a cowboy hat instead? And she turned to me and said, `The crimes of the father should not be burdened by the kin’, and then I woke up! I was shitting myself, I never had an experience like that,” he ranted. 

Lydia stared wide eyed. “That was some deep thoughts by Sandy,” she said. 

“Right?” 

“Wonder what else you didn’t experience as a deadborn.” 

Beej shrugged, unsure himself. “I’ve spent hundreds of years studying breathers, and I still don’t know a goddamn thing about them,” he said. 

“That’s fair.”

The sheets were folded, and ready to make up a bed, and Beej looked finished with the laundry supplies. Lydia hefted the laundry basket of bedding up and started for the stairs, with Beej right behind. The kitchen was empty, and Lydia could hear chatter out in the living room. She glanced back to Beej. 

“You know, maybe we could hang out tonight. With everyone,” she suggested. 

Beej’s face twisted, before settling into a bitter smile. “Scarecrow, I appreciate the thought, but no one wants to hang out with me. Except you for some reason.” 

“C’mon, they’re giving you a chance. Shouldn’t you give them a chance too?” She asked. 

Beej scrubbed a hand over his face, groaning. “Lyds, I… maybe another night. It’s been a  _ day _ . I think I need space just as much as everyone else,” he finally said. 

Lydia studied him for a moment. Then she smirked. “You know, I am happy you’re here, permanently. I missed you, Beetman. Dunno if I said that yet,” she said suddenly. Beej jumped, caught off guard, before huffing, his hair tinging a bright green with flecks of flustered pink. 

“Quit getting mushy, Scarecrow, we’re demons, not kids.” 

“Unfortunately I am a kid demon.”

“Also,  _ Beetman _ ? Am I some kind of failed food triangle propaganda trying to get kids to eat taproots?” 

“Ok I will admit that one was flat.”

“Yeah, it was, you failed. You should feel bad.” 

“Duly noted, I'll add it to the list of things I need to feel later.” 

They continued to banter as they made their way upstairs, where Lydia bullied Beej into helping her make the bed. She left him be afterwards, knowing that he really did need a moment to himself. She headed downstairs instead, to the living room, where Delia and Adam were gesticulating wildly as they discussed the pros and cons of the gem industry and its current effects on the environment, because somehow they both were into that. Charles and Barbara were watching curiously enthralled. Lydia couldn’t stop her smile at the sight of them all even if she wanted to. 

She snuck forward, claiming the floor in front of Barbara’s feet where the ghost sat on the couch, leaning against the cold presence and watching the conversations, as Barbara began to comb through Lydia’s thick black hair. She loved Beej, he was fun and never made her feel like she should hold herself back, but she loved the Maitlands and her parents just as much, who made her feel unconditionally loved and safe. Someday she’ll get the two forces together, but for now, just having them all in the same house was enough. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jeez, Beej stop having breakdowns, you’re not a millennial, you’re a millennia years old  
> ...Anyways, next couple of chapters are gonna be sweet to make up for all these feels, lol. And then we’ll be straight back to feels iubiubiyuyf  
> Come yell with me on tumblr [@daydreaming-jessi](https://daydreaming-jessi.tumblr.com/) about the realization that there are TWO sandworms in the musical, Lil Sally and Big Sandy  
> Edit: scuse me, just squishing chapters together, don’t mind me


	6. We Need to Talk.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Parenting never is easy. And neither is getting used to a new kind of life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally posted February 17th, 2020, edited January 9th, 2020

“Lydia?” 

The teen glanced up from the photos she was sorting at her desk. “Come in,” she said, letting Charles and Delia step into her room. “What’s up?” She asked, turning her desk chair toward her parents. 

“Honey, we should probably talk,” Charles said, exchanging a glance with Delia. 

Lydia bit the inside of her cheek. It was usually never a good thing when parents said that. This was probably going to be a lecture. “Okay...”

“First off, this is just a talk. No one is in trouble, it's just that Delia and I are a little concerned,” Charles began. 

“About what?” Lydia asked carefully. 

“About how you were hiding Lawrence in your bedroom for almost two weeks without telling us. We’re concerned that you felt you had to hide things from us,” Delia said in a rush. 

“We understand that he’s your friend and that nothing bad happened, it’s just a little scary that you felt you had to hide from us, and for so long,” Charles added. 

Lydia frowned and looked down to her lap. “I… I’m sorry,” she said. 

“It’s okay, hon, you’re really not in trouble. We just don’t want you to feel like you have to hide things from us ever again. Your dad and I don’t want you to feel like we won’t listen to you,” Delia quickly said, placing a gentle hand on Lydia’s shoulder, making the teen look up to her. 

“We promised each other we would talk to one another and we would listen. Delia and I just want to help you as best we can, Lydia. If something happens we want to know, good or bad,” Charles glanced away, a glint of guilt in his eyes. 

“I know, I do, and I am sorry, I just… I really got scared for Beej. When he showed up again, his hair was white, and he was in the middle of a huge panic attack. I could barely help him calm down. I knew that things were still messy from last time and you guys wouldn’t feel comfortable with him yet, and I didn’t want to risk him being kicked out when it was so obvious that he wasn’t ok. So I didn’t know if it was something I should tell you about,” Lydia sighed. 

“Lydia, you’re not even sixteen yet, you shouldn’t be having to take care of a grown demon by yourself,” Delia smiled wearily. 

“I guess. I just… wasn’t sure what to do, without messing things up. Again,” Lydia said. 

“One thing is for certain. You can always come talk to us. We will always have time for you, and we’ll try to work things out together. No going and hiding things from each other. No more arguing and not listening, and no more secrets,” Charles squeezed Lydia’s hand for emphasis. 

She slowly nodded. “Ok. No more secrets.” Lydia gave a smile, a bit relieved now.

“Communication is tough, but we’re getting there. This was just a little stumble, yeah?” Delia looked between the two. They nodded. Delia beamed, and pulled them into a group hug. “We are proud of you, though. Takes a big heart to watch out for your friend like you've been doing,” she added. 

Lydia huffed a small laugh as she hugged her parents back. 

“Thanks, Stepmom.” 

….

_ Argentina, _

_Hey, still kicking._ _You lot oka_ _Got summoned. Found safe place._ _It’s with_ _Sorry for disappear_ _thanks for hel_

_ Will try to contact soon.  _

_ -BJ _

_ p.s. Nobody to bone tho :(  _

….

Beej recognized Lydia’s handiwork on his suit. He had a full wardrobe filled with her stitches and lines now after all. He carefully set the suit back down on his lap, making sure not to smudge his now bleeding finger over the black and white cloth. His pockets were still rife with the trinkets and crap he’d picked up over the years, undisturbed. His pocket stash, something he came up with to keep everything that needed to be hidden from mother feared. 

He’d dug through it for a pen and paper at first, looking to make a quick message to the Netherworld, hence the needed finger blood to perform the ritual, but now looking at the suit like this, fixed up as best it could, the sad thing laying limply in Beej’s lap brought back memories. 

Juno had thrown the beginning of its form at him when he got acidic holy water spritzed onto him at a purging gone wrong. It was a simple prison jumpsuit that was one size too small then. 

“Maybe if you stop wasting food on your damn gullet, you would fit into things easier,” she sneered before taking a swig of whiskey. 

Beej made do. He’d had to patch holes and darn tears for years, this was just the next step in his sewing lessons. He separated the pants from the shirt, and added onto the shirt to make room for his paunch. His old suspenders kept the pants from flapping off. He wrangled a fancy looking shirt from lost and found, along with a neat looking strip of fabric. He folded the shirt sleeves back and draped the fabric around his neck like a scarf, and at first, it was perfectly fine. But then it wasn’t. 

People kept looking at the scars and marks scattered across Beej’s arms. They kept thinking it was how he died, and tried to guess what they were so they knew his cause of death. It made him uncomfortable. Newlydeads kept coming up to him and chattered about their deaths, how the wounds felt, how they still feel it and how annoying it all was. When Beej told them he wasn’t a ghost, but a demon, that he got these scars here when he was younger, the newlydeads would get quiet, uncomfortable. They’d walk away and avoid eye contact. No one liked to hear the truth. 

So, he unrolled the shirt sleeves, but it looked stupid. His top looked like a vest, and it seemed to piss Mom off even more. Into the lost and found Beej went once more. He found a canvas tarp, along with black dye. He got to work. The tarp was torn into two strips. The chemicals burned, or at least, he thought that’s what burns felt like. He painted the dye onto the right places, letting it dry for a few days. Out came the needle and thread. His fingers were in actual pain for once with how much he pricked himself. It looked pretty good. Until he realized he made the sleeve stripes vertical instead of horizontal with how he sewed it. It was charming, though, to him. On the jacket went. 

The next day, before heading off to his next job, Juno stopped him. She had a strange look in her eye when she was staring at Beej. For a moment he wondered what he did wrong, until she stepped closer. 

The scarf was slipped off and put under his shirt collar, carefully. A moment of precise folding, the cloth was moved in ways he didn’t understand, until she tightened it up like a noose. Stepping away she nodded. Beej looked down at it and saw the scarf ... was a tie. 

“Saw the newlydeads doing that. Wondered how it went. Makes you look professional.” Juno flicked the ash off her cigarette. 

“...thanks Ma.” 

For a moment, a single moment, he felt different. Juno’s eyes were soft, her lips weren’t pulled down in a permanent scowl, she looked… thoughtful, contemplative. 

But then Juno narrowed her eyes and scoffed. “Christ sake, you need to stop with the gratitude shit. We’re demons, Beetlejuice, we don’t give thanks. Get to your “job” already.” 

The moment was done. 

Beej never got questioned about scars again. People seemed interested by the suit. He made adjustments occasionally, patching it, letting the clothes out to accommodate him better, but he never touched the tie. 

Now it sat undone around his once clean fancy shirt, in its coal black glory. A moment so huge undone by a single action. He should’ve felt bad about it, but he didn’t. Not now at least. 

No one had ever touched his suit before. Only he fixed it. Juno would only scream at him for being careless with his clothes if he ever asked for help, and he never found anyone wanting to help him, not without something in return. 

Now here lay his prized possession, seemingly cleaned and stitched up by Lydia without a word. It was… weird. 

Beej could hear the occupants of the house moving about outside the room he now seemed to claim for the moment. He knew where Lydia’s room was, he saw it before he shut himself in here for the night. He could hear muffled talk coming from its direction. Sounded serious. 

At this time of night before, Beej would usually head out Lydia’s window to the roof, because Lydia “needed privacy and space because he wouldn’t let her sleep”. On the roof he’d hang out watching the graveyard so far away over the hills, sometimes throwing rocks at any passing car because he could. Biding his time, waiting for the sun to rise so he could dip in again and stack Lydia’s bathroom supply of toilet paper into a sphinx. 

Now he was here, sat on a bed he was allowed to use, wearing clothes freely given to him, looking at a suit repaired for him. There had to be a catch. All day it's been nagging at the back of his mind. Charles would never let him back in. Delia would never want to see him again. Barbara and Adam would never want him near their house again. He trusted Lydia. He knew she was honest about shit like this. She did want him around. But the other four? Why would they want him around? Why would they do any of this for him? Why would they trust him? 

_ It’s not you. It’s Lydia.  _

Right. They didn’t trust Beej, they didn’t want him around, they weren’t doing this for him. It was for Lydia. They would do anything for that kid. Fair enough. He would too. The little emo worked her way into his rotting heart, and whacked it with a pool noodle until it grumbled to life it seemed. 

Beej set the suit aside with a sigh. Lydia had big hopes if she thought the others would ever want him around. He’s kicked that bucket over a cliff into the raging Snake River. He’d play nice, though. One shouldn’t really spit on the hand giving you a gift. He’d keep to himself, stick to Lydia, and not say a word. See how long until the others give up tolerating him and just start to pretend he’s invisible. 

Moments like these makes him wish he wasn’t summoned for once. Can’t turn invisible and float away through the wall from awkward situations when you’re tired and corporeal. 

Suddenly there was a knock at the door, silencing all thoughts. Beej’s head snapped up. Was that Lydia? Wasn’t she heading for bed? Up he got, over to the door, opening it carefully. He couldn’t just pop his head through right now when he was so tired and all over the place. 

Delia stood on the other side with a gentle smile. “Uh,” Beej was flailing. What was this? What was about to happen? 

“Lawrence! I realized you weren’t given sleepwear, or any bathroom supplies besides the shower stuff,” Delia handed over a small bundle. “This is all a bit strange, I don’t even know if ghosts need to brush their teeth, but a bit of normality never hurt anyone, you know? And I can’t imagine how different all of this is, so might as well  _ try _ to make you feel comfortable.” 

“...why do you care?” 

Foot successfully inserted into mouth. 

Delia’s smile fell. 

Abort, abort quickly. Abort before there’s screaming, Beetlejuice. 

“Lawrence, I know things aren't ... great between any of us. It’s weird, and confusing and no one’s sure what to do. We’re flying blind here. But I like to think that anyone can change for the better. So if someone tries to, I’ll give them a chance. And of course, you saved Lydia twice now, at the cost of your own life. I can never repay you for that. So. Call me crazy, but... I think you can be a really good person, when given the chance, and I want to give you that chance,” that smile returned, and Beej was left dumbfounded. 

“Uh….. hate to break it to you, Debbie, but I’m  _ not _ a good person. I am the furthest thing from a good person, and I think your missing guru is testament to that,” he slowly said. 

Delia actually considered this. “Well, okay fair enough. Maybe good isn’t the right word for you, since you sort of have a different definition of moral quandaries, being a demon and all. But I still think you’re nice. And, really,  _ Kevin _ was not that great of a person to begin with, let’s be honest with ourselves.” 

Beej couldn’t stop his grin from forming, he couldn’t stop himself from thinking ‘ _ holy fuck this breather’ _ and he couldn’t stop his chuckle. “You have spent  _ way _ too much time around Lydia, D,” he muttered to himself. 

Delia’s smile became smarmy. “I think I needed to. Lydia doesn’t need stuck up fake gurus to find her purpose in life. You can’t talk, anyways, you spent two weeks hanging out together. I can hardly tell you two apart now,” she nodded. 

“Uh yeah you can. She’s an exceptionally lame 12 year old, while I pretty much exude coolness and sexual prowess.” Beej gestured to himself. 

“I’m telling Lydia you said that.” Delia turned and started to flaunt away

“WAIT NO I WANT TO KEEP MY HAIR.”

Delia paused in her flaunting, looking back over her shoulder with warmth in her eyes that for some reason was aimed at  _ him _ . “Good night Lawrence, sleep well.” 

Then she was off, to what was probably hers and Charles’ room. 

Beej looked down to the bundle again, before backing into the room once more, closing the door. He was pretty sure he knew what they were at least. A toothbrush, toothpaste, floss, a comb, and a hairbrush along with… flannel? Holy shit, they gave him flannel pants! He didn’t know they were a thing! He thought flannel was only for shirts on lumberjacks, lesbians, and dudes trying to look like lumberjacks. The clothes Beej was wearing were comfy, but he knew for a fact that flannel was comfier. Off came the jogging pants, on came the flannel ones. 

“Hell yeah,” he said proudly to himself in the dark room. There was also a new cotton white t shirt. He’d probably mess it up with his drool, but Lydia would be pissed if he drooled on the shirt she altered. Better facing anything but that teens wrath, Beej has learned. 

He carefully picked the day clothes up, folding them carefully and set them on a shelf. He’d figure out where to store them in the morning. Turning he picked his suit up and set it back in its place on the hanger, carefully lining the edges as always, trying to win a long lost battle of fixing its creasing. 

Beej spared a look at the rest of the bundle Delia gave him. Brushing his teeth. He’d missed that invention. Was it like brushing hair? Did breather teeth get tangles and knots in them somehow? He flashed his sharp fangs to the mirror. They looked normal as usual. 

He picked up the toothpaste, sniffing at the minty tube. He popped open the cap and squeezed out a long line on his tongue, shivering from the freezing mint that managed to make his taste buds tingle. Smacking his lips, Beej decided that this ritual wasn’t too terrible, and tossed the toothbrush and floss into his pockets. He’d find a use for them soon. Eventually. Look, everyone’s a secret hoarder, don’t judge him. 

After two days of sleep, you’d think he was sick of it, but that contract breach took a lot out of Beej. There was also all the emotional toil, but that was a typical day for him. So Beej flopped onto the bed, grabbing the blankets and cocooning himself inside, like he was some kind wrapped body ready for the next stage of burial. A pillow was hugged tightly to his torso, protecting it from any possible incoming blows, and Beej curled up around it, trying to make himself as small as possible, before finally falling into the unconscious state that found him ever since he’d been brought to life. Tomorrow would finally be a new day. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beej, just... just brush, just bru... BEEJ JUST BRUSH YOUR TEETH MAN.  
> I struggled to fit the first part into everything well, but I wanted to show Lydia and her parents talking because it’s just as important to me to show just how much their dynamics have changed, they’re now talking TO each other rather than AT, and listening and validating one another. They’ve LEARNED. And that’s really important when writing stuff, that the character growth sticks around.  
> Come along with me to a sandworm sea on tumblr [@daydreaming-jessi](https://daydreaming-jessi.tumblr.com/)  
> Edit: AND IVE ADDED THIS WITH THE NEXT CHAPTER CAUSE IT WAS TOO SHORT TO HAVE A WHOLE CHAPTER TO ITSELF. No one can stop me >:D


	7. Season of the Witch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kids suck. Brothers also suck, but not as much. Sometimes they’re cool, in fact. Wait, is that a spider?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quick warning! This chapter contains kind of an intense scene with spiders, so if you’re squeamish to that, maaaaybe venture forth carefully, or maybe just don’t venture at all. ew,,,,  
> Originally posted February 24th, 2020, edited January 9th, 2021

Three weeks. That’s how long it’d been since the roof incident. Lydia had checked the calendar to be sure. A lot can happen in three weeks. 

Lawrence still seemed unsure of the whole housing situation, like he expected to be kicked out at any moment. He slunk around the house like an overgrown feral cat, ducking out of anyone’s way, unless it was Lydia, then he’d bother her nonstop. He made the occasional joke at the Maitlands still, but he really just seemed determined to hide from everyone. 

He did learn more about cooking with Delia, thanks to her gentle prodding, helping her make breakfast and the occasional dinner when it was her turn to cook it. Someone always supervised their kitchen time, but it seemed more to lend a helping hand if needed more than anything. Usually it was Lydia, sitting on a counter and reminding Delia how long things needed to cook, other times it was Barbara or Adam who seemed more than happy to help out, but were just as eager to let the two figure it out on their own. A few times Charles was able to help, but he was more hands on, and Lawrence seemed to hold back even more when Charles was around the kitchen. 

Lawrence also helped Lydia out with her photography. Whenever she wanted a shot from high up, he’d either levitate her up or let her stand on his shoulders. Sometimes she managed to drag him out of the house, but he was so jumpy about it that she would wrap things up quickly. 

Finally she asked him about it that day, when it’d officially been three weeks. 

“Beej, what’s up? You’re acting more nervous than a tiny dog,” she asked, looking up from the dew covered spider web she was capturing. 

Lawrence jumped slightly, turning away from his ever observant watch of the neighborhood. “A what? I’m just… looking around,” he shrugged. 

“Right. Didn’t you try super hard to try and become human so you could, you know, enjoy stuff like this?” Lydia asked, gesturing to the world around them. 

They had ventured out to the neighborhood early that day, going out to one of the old lots that was once meant to be developed into a home someday but now they lay abandoned, with tools and junk scattered around the overgrown fauna, perfect for a few nice looking shots. It was early, anyone heading out right now would be traveling to work. The two had a couple hours before people would be thinking a couple of hoodlums were trespassing on property literally no one cared about in the middle of the day. 

“I’m still a ghost, kid. Just cause I’m corporeal now doesn’t mean I’m safe from the hungry creepy crawlers hanging around,” Lawrence said, running a hand through his light colored hair. 

“...like Sandy?” She guessed. 

Lawrence chuckled. “Worse than Sandy, kid. Sandworms never looked at me twice. Too smelly I guess,” he shrugged. 

“It’s so weird that no one has ever seen sand worms before, when they literally live on Saturn, a plant we have observed on multiple occasions. What else is out there? Besides Sandworms?” Lydia continued, crouching closer to the spider web. 

“Stuff we don’t even have names for. Sand worms are so prevalent because they’re ghost eaters, rather than the demon hunters I’m worried about. Demons don’t really hang out around breathers, so the bastards are rare to see, much less come up with a name for them,” Lawrence explained, glancing up to the sky once more. 

“Well, maybe you should have Sandy come be your guard worm. She’s pretty scary, having eaten a demon,” Lydia said. 

“I dunno, pretty sure everyone would lose it if a sand worm was hanging around,” Lawrence replied dryly, glancing over to the breather unimpressed. 

“Oh c’mon, since when did you care about what the others had to say?” 

“You just want to see a giant sand worm.” 

“Maybe I do, maybe I just want you to chill out a little for once, cause you’re starting to be annoying,” Lydia replied, snapping another pic. 

Lawrence placed a dramatic hand over his heart, leaning back as if he was dealt a blow. “Oh, so cruel and abrasive, and here I thought my bfffff would be understanding to my plights. But alas, she is as callous as all others, and I am left to keep searching for one warm to my cause,” he said, swooning for extra effect. 

Lydia rolled her eyes as she straightened up, brushing the dirt and morning dew off her leggings. “I see through your bullshit, you are as opaque as glass. Now can it and let me onto your shoulders so I can get the sun reflecting off the water here.” 

Lawrence huffed and whined a little more as he picked Lydia up and easily swung her onto his shoulders. “Destined to be nothing more than the prop of my friend, oh woe to pathetic me!” He gasped, shifting around to Lydia’s annoyance. 

She pinched his ear to make him hold still, before setting her camera back up to her eye, carefully switching the settings as she focused on the web once more. As she fidgeted with the settings, she noticed a strange glint in the side of her vision. She creased a brow in confusion, slowly looking over to what could be the cause. “Is someone taking a photo of us..?” She wondered aloud, trying to see what was flashing. 

“What?” Lawrence twisted around, nearly causing Lydia to tumble off his shoulders. 

“Careful, Jesus! Hold on, let me just…” Lydia brought her camera up once more, and began to zoom in on the flashing light she saw, across the street from them into the thicket of trees placed between two other houses. 

“What d’you see?” Lawrence stage whispered, looking up to her with wide, curious eyes. Lydia ignored him, focusing intently. 

Another flash. Movement.  _ Someone _ was over there. 

“Let me down,” Lydia hissed. Lawrence swung her off. “Keep cool, pretend I forgot something in my backpack, and I’ll see if I can sneak up on them,” Lydia ordered. 

“Why are you sneaking up on them? I can literally turn myself invisible,” Lawrence huffed. 

Lydia groaned. “Because I don’t trust you not to get us arrested by scaring the shit out of this person, whoever they are. Just stay here Beej, trust me, okay?” Lydia turned and headed for her bag before the demon could argue further. 

The demon grumbled, turning to crouch closer to the spider web and fidgeted with his clothes, keeping an eye on the spot where the flashes were coming from. Lydia headed to her bag, set behind a pile of old pallets, crouching behind it and peeked out. 

Yet another flash went off. She and Lawrence exchanged a quick look. He jerked his head towards the possible peeper, encouraging her to go on. Lydia nodded back, and sneaked around the pallet, towards the cars parked along the road next to them. 

On she went, close to the ground, across the street, into the thicket. She stepped across the branches fallen to the ground, careful not to make a sound, and saw movement ahead of her, and started to hear whispered conversation. 

“-near the graveyard. People legit died in her house, be respectful.” 

“Do you think that guy is some kind of meth dealer? Maybe they’re making an exchange and she’s getting cash.” 

“God, it’s so weird! I don’t trust that creep.” 

“Better a creep than a bunch of perverts,” Lydia declared. 

The other teens screamed in surprise, two whirling around to stare at her while one fell on their ass, and the other took another photo, clearly ignoring the others. 

“Fuck! What the fuck?!” One of the teens shrieked. They had bleach blond hair, and was wearing an outfit Lydia could only describe as wanna be Instagram diarrhea tea seller chic. 

“You know it’s rude to stare at and talk about people who don’t know you,” Lydia said blandly. 

“Well, well we, uh, D-Darin, come on!” The other kid, a dark haired buff person wearing gym rat clothes, kicked the other kid on the ground still, someone with beat up sunglass, a backwards SnapBack hiding their hair, and an ahegao hoodie covered in dirt from the ground. 

Lydia shook her head and looked over to the last kid, still taking photos. “It’s also rude to take pictures of people who didn’t give you permission,” she added. 

The photographer looked up finally. Lydia felt that she faintly remembered them. Maybe she saw them at the high school Dad signed her up for a couple months back? They had a beanie on, and looked to be in something actually meant to be crouching in the woods possibly with ticks and mosquitoes. 

They straightened up. “Wasn’t taking pics of you. Was getting the Ramone house. Those idiots followed me,” Photo kid jutted a thumb to the others. 

“God, Bea, is that really the best excuse you have?” Blonde kid hissed. 

Lydia rolled her eyes once again. Some people. 

“Shut up, Cast,” Bea said flatly, letting go of their camera. 

Blondie, Cast, shrieked something about Bea not giving strangers her name, hypocritically. Lydia glanced back over to the lot she left Lawrence, and froze upon seeing that he wasn’t there. Where did he go? 

She turned back to the other kids, tuning back into the conversation. 

“She’s the one with the monster house everyone was talking about six months ago, no way is it normal. I bet there’s a witch there, feeding people to Satan in her basement!” Darrin was saying. 

“Actually witches were praying to Pagan gods that were around before monotheistic religions came along and turned them satanic, and even then the sacrifices were more animal based, rather than human,” Lydia cut in, smirking. 

The teens stared at her, their argument forgotten. “Um, who gives a shit? About old witches and shit?” Cast glanced between Lydia and Darrin. 

“Don’t start another argument, Cast,” Gym rat sighed. 

“Look, ladies. We got off on the wrong foot. We’re just… curious. About your house. They say it’s haunted by the previous owners who died there. Is it true?” Darrin slid closer to Lydia. 

Lydia felt taken aback. Barbara and Adam died in the house? She thought they were just attached to it, and went back when they died. She didn’t know that they actually died there. 

“Darrin, shut up about haunted houses. Ghosts aren’t real, you’re just freaking her out being a weirdo,” the gym rat kid groaned. 

“Freaking her out?” Cast tried to mutter under her breath. 

“Listen, ghosts are so real! There’s one in my crawspace!” Darrin insisted. 

“ Crawl space,” Bea said. 

“Gesundheit,” Darrin replied. 

“That was a skunk. Her house is normal, people were just spreading weird rumors because her dad forgot to cut the grass once and pissed off HOA,” Gym Rat continued. 

“Mrs. Donnagul says a freaky ass monster guy chased her around the house! You aren’t calling her a liar, are you Keith?” Darrin looked at the larger teen with wide eyes. 

Keith shifted uncomfortably. “Look, Mrs. Donnagul is superstitious, alright?” 

“Lydia are you done with your play date? I’m bored,” a familiar gravely voice filled the air. 

Three of the teens jumped, whirling around to see where the source came from, while Bea seemed to stare at Lawrence who materialized next to Lydia. Lydia shot him a glare that said ‘No ghostly powers around strangers ’. 

Lawrence sized up the four kids, before grinning and leaning forward. “Aw, look at you all getting along so chummily. Warms my stabbed heart!” He crowed. 

“Oh fuck it’s the drug dealer!” Darrin stumbled back in shock upon turning and seeing the demon. 

“Drug dealer? You wish. Not even Lydia is privy to my stockpile,” Lawrence straightened back, satisfied to have made them jump. 

“Who are you ? I’ve never seen you around the neighborhood before!” Cast was hiding behind Keith now. 

“Me? I’m just the guy bumming at Scarecrow’s place, that’s all.” Lawrence stuck his hands into his pockets, smirking now. 

“My, er, brother moved back in a few weeks ago. Just graduated college,” Lydia said, and winced at her lie. 

Lawrence froze, staring at Lydia with an unreadable expression. Oh boy, that was not good. She shouldn’t have said brother, why did she let  _ that _ slip out of all things? He wasn’t supposed to know about that thought that’d been wandering around her head. 

“Your brother? Really?” Cast still looked unconvinced. 

“Yeah, that’s me. Just the fourth member of the Deetz family,” Lawrence seemed to have snapped out of his shock, returning to the conversation at hand. 

“If that’s your brother, then why are you both so different looking?” Cast huffed to Lydia. Darrin elbowed her, hissing about her being rude. 

Lawrence and Lydia exchanged a look. There was a glimmer in his eyes. Lydia decided she wasn’t going to stop him, if it meant not being asked twenty questions anymore. She gave a single nod. He grinned wolfishly. 

“You know, Scarecrow is kind of scary. I mean, she's a goth and a nihilist, terrifying. But really, you guys are all wrong here. It’s the manic drug dealer you should really fear,” Lawrence said. The four kids looked over to him confusedly. “Especially since I do shit like this.” 

He bared his teeth, looking sharper than an ancient condont, in a smile bigger than the Cheshire Cat’s. His eyes bulged, and he doubled over, hacking and coughing. The teens stared wide eyed, backing away quickly, while Lydia pulled her phone out and hit record. 

Lawrence snapped up, his jaw splitting open, and a blizzard of black spewed forward. The teens shrieked as spiders pelted them, and tore out of the forest, fast enough to make a track coach weep. 

Spiders crawled away into the forest growth. They were dazed from being suddenly summoned into a demon body and vomited forth with a billion other strangers. Hopefully they’d be ok in their new environment. 

Lydia immediately lost it, laughing harder than she ever did in her 15 years on earth, as she stopped the video. Lawrence spat out a final strand of spider silk, and looked over to her with a grin. “Did you get all that?” He asked, peeking to look at her phone. 

“Oh, oh my god! Their faces! It was priceless!” Lydia wheezed, her face bright red from laughter. 

“Holy shit it was beautiful! Just, muah!” Lawrence kissed his fingers. “Their screams are gonna sustain me for the next decade, maybe even the next century!” 

“I would’ve paid for their therapy bills if I had to in order to see that again. That was just amazing!” Lydia almost fell over double from her cackling. 

“Hey.” 

Both froze, and looked up to see the girl Bea had returned. She looked breathless, her eyes glittering. She was smiling. 

“That? Was incredible. I don’t know how you did it, but I’ve wanted to shake those guys like that for years.” She looked to Lydia. “We’re gonna be in school together this fall. Hope we end up having class together. Maybe we can share our work. See you.” Bea handed Lydia a polaroid, showing her and Lawrence in the lot in a hauntingly eerie yet beautiful scene, before turning and heading off. 

Lydia stared after the girl in shock, while Lawrence glanced down to the photo. 

“Holy shit. You got her number. Look at my funky lil lesbian bfff, barely fifteen and already getting those digits!” He hopped excitedly. “You gonna text her? Dm her? I know all sorts of pick up lines.” 

Lydia blinked, looked back down to the photo, and slowly smirked. “Maybe. We’ll see.” Then his words caught up with her. “Wait, how’d you know I’m gay ? Oh my god , did you tell anyone?” 

Lawrence stared at Lydia for a moment, then grinned like the Cheshire Cat once more, before ducking away and running across the street back to the lot. 

“LAWRENCE BEETLEJUICE SHOGGOTH I WILL THROW YOUR ASS INTO THE STAR YOU’RE NAMED AFTER IF YOU TOLD ANYONE, I SWEAR TO WHATEVER ABYSSAL MONSTER LURKS OUT THERE!” 

Lawrence’s cackles filled the air as he snatched up Lydia’s bag and started to race back to the house, the screaming teen not far behind him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don’t worry Beej hasn’t told anyone that Lydia’s gay, and would keep this secret to the second grave if she asked. He’s a monster, not a heartless jerk.  
> I’ve actually drawn the [teens](https://daydreaming-jessi.tumblr.com/post/190848498675/so-these-guys-may-become-relevant-soon) on my tumblr. They’ll come back ;)  
> Scream at spiders with me on tumblr [@daydreaming-jessi](https://daydreaming-jessi.tumblr.com/)


	8. Mirror Mirror on the Wall, Who’s the Scariest of them All?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beej finally gets a text back! Wait that’s a note... Adam has done a Bad! Beej draws on mirrors with blood, and a conversation that should’ve happened ages ago happens now, because Beej likes to avoid conflict he didn't cause by being annoying.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally posted February 28th, 2020, edited January 16th, 2021

_ Beetlejuice, _

_ I was going to call you a jerk and an ass for not getting back to us ASAP, but then Juno started breathing down our necks and I couldn’t get back to you until now. So I guess we both suck now. We’re all ok. As soon as you get this, keep an eye on mirrors. We’ll talk soon.  _

_ You’re welcome.  _

_ -Maria _

_ P.S. Please don’t get kicked out of wherever you are because you’re horny.  _

...

Adam reread the note. He’d only come in Lawrence’s room to pick up dirty laundry for Delia, and found the note sitting in the middle of the floor untouched, with a strange dark brown mark on it. He thought it was a piece of trash, though he really should’ve known better. Lawrence’s room was surprisingly spotless, except for the strange bedsheet cocoon on the queen sized bed. He saw unfamiliar handwriting and got curious, but now Adam felt wracked with guilt upon realizing that this was in fact something for Lawrence that was personal. 

Lawrence had been surprisingly tolerable the past three weeks. Of course, he still made the occasional inappropriate remark, but he and Barbara were beginning to suspect that was his way of deflecting conversations he didn’t want to have. Unfortunately, it seemed Lawrence wanted to avoid any conversation that Adam and Barbara brought up. Lawrence seemed so withdrawn compared to before, seeming to only really hanging around Lydia and Delia. Adam wasn’t sure why out of everyone, Delia was the other to be trusted, but then, the demon was always strange. 

Adam wanted them to be… well not friendly, considering all the harassment from before, but at least tolerating each other, seeing as they now lived, er, stayed together in the same house. But now, seeing as he had crossed Lawrence’s privacy, Adam could see the wisp of that chance slipping away. 

“So what’s it say?” 

Adam wished he could say he didn’t scream. He wished he could say he didn’t dance away. He wished he could say that Lawrence no longer was able to make him jump. Adam would be lying, though, and his mother did not raise a liar. 

“Oh my goodness! I thought you were out with Lydia!” Adam gasped, staring at the demon wide eyed. Was that string in his hair? 

Lawrence shrugged. “I was. Then we came back. Now Lydia’s mad at me. So, what’s it say?” Lawrence nodded to the note. 

Adam paled, and he began to stutter. “I am so, so sorry, Lawrence, I know I shouldn’t have pried, I thought this was garbage and then I saw it was handwriting I never saw before then-“

“Adam. You are so goddamn cute like this. But seriously, I don’t care. Can I see it?” 

Adam blinked confusedly. “You’re… not upset?” 

“Why would I be?” 

“Because- Because this is your private belonging! I shouldn’t have been reading notes that were meant for you!” Adam was spluttering now. He was so sure Lawrence would be upset. He knows  _ he _ would be if someone were reading his personal notes. 

“I mean, I guess that’s a thing? I dunno, man. Still don’t know why you reading it should make me upset,” Lawrence shrugged. 

He really wasn’t… Did Lawrence not understand privacy? Was that really a surprise, though, considering everything else about the demon? 

“Lawrence, you didn’t give me permission to read this. You didn’t get a choice in saying if someone else could read this or not. That… that wasn’t ok of me,” Adam said slowly, hoping against hope that Lawrence was taught about permission. 

Lawrence blinked, cocking his head. “I… I can… do that here? Shit. Alright then.” Lawrence placed a hand on Adam’s shoulder. “I give you permission to read my shit,” he nodded. 

Adam wasn’t sure what to do with that. “I- Wha… I…”

“I mean. It’s whatever, okay? Look, I tricked you guys. Threw your deceased handbook away. Consider this payback, alright? We’re even. Now lemme see that.” 

Lawrence took the note and scanned through it. His eyebrows drew together, and he let out a quiet groan. He seemed unaware that he made that noise. “Is… is this Maria gonna be safe with Juno around?” Adam asked carefully. 

Lawrence seemed to have started, looking up to Adam with wide eyes. “What? Oh, shit right, you guys never met her. She works for Juno, but yeah, Argenti-, Maria is safe. I mean, unless Mother fear finds out that Maria and the others were helping me during the time she was worm food. Doubt that’ll happen though, Ma always has her head up her ass. Hey, wanna see something cool?” Lawrence was grinning now. 

Adam blinked, surprised. Lawrence wanted to hang out? Even though just this morning he couldn’t seem to get out of the room fast enough to avoid Adam? He couldn’t lose this chance. If they were going to live together, they should get along. It was only polite. 

“Uh, sure.” 

Lawrence headed for the bathroom, Adam tailing right behind. Lawrence shut the door behind them, keeping the lights off. Adam started to get a bad feeling about this. Lawrence turned towards the mirror, and raised his finger, and  _ bit  _ it with his sharp teeth. 

“Oh lord!” Adam gawked at the black ooze now pooling on Lawrence’s fingertip. Lawrence then proceeded to wipe the blood on the mirror. 

“Beetle- I mean, Lawrence! What are you doing?” Adam cried. 

“Unwind Babs’ panties, Adam, and just watch,” Lawrence said, uncharacteristically focused. 

Adam realized that the demon was actually drawing something on the mirror, rather than smearing blood around on the glass. He realized he recognized it, having seen it in the handbook. “Is this a ritual?” Adam asked. 

Lawrence snorted. “You really never stop the questions. Worse than a six year old.” There was no annoyance in his voice, in fact it seemed more fond than anything. Adam blinked. Where did  _ that _ come from? 

Then, Lawrence stepped back from the mirror. The blood was staying in place, defying gravity. “Ok, then you add running water,” Lawrence muttered, fiddling with the sink handles. Water burst forth from the ornate faucet, and the mirror suddenly fogged as if someone took a hot shower. 

The blood had seemed to make a frame inside the mirror, as the fog in the innermost circle of the rune began to swirl, turning green with a black spiral, when it suddenly snapped. 

A woman wearing a bath towel on her hair, which seemed to be frizzing out on top, with patchy red skin appeared in the mirror. “Netherworld’s Customs and Processing, this is Shyanne- Mr. Beetlejuice! You’re ok!” The ghost grinned. Her eyes trailed over to Adam. “Oh, and a stranger! Hi!” 

“Hello,” Adam said faintly, staring in awe at the mirror. 

“Adam, I didn’t think you had it in you to be rude to someone,” Lawrence smirked. 

Adam blinked, coming back to reality, and felt his face flush. “Oh, I’m so sorry! I’m Adam Maitland, it’s nice to meet you.” 

Shyanne let out a laugh. “You’re fine, hun. I was caught up by this thing too. But these kinds of things are the norm for the Netherworld. I don’t think I’ve seen you around there, though,” Shyanne shot Lawrence a suspicious look, her eyes narrowed. 

Lawrence shrugged. “What, you think I’m gonna let this piece of fine ass get lost in the civil services of the Netherworld?” 

“If Juno finds out-“

“Shyanne. My ass is already decomposing grass with Juno.” 

The woman shook her hands, looking flustered. “Goodness, right! Right! This whole mess. Ugh, I was so hoping we would have a bit more time before she came back, you know? And then you were gone without a word for so long, I was just a mess!” Shyanne pulled a tissue out of her toaster and dabbed her eyes. Lawrence shifted uncomfortably, looking quite confused. Adam decided to take the demon’s pause as chance to ask some questions of his own. 

“Wait, hold on. So if my wife and I went to the Netherworld, I would be a… a civil servant?” He asked. 

“Oh no, you both would be. You’re the two that crashed through the floor, right? People who die in accidents aren’t able to pass on easily, so they have to work for the Netherworld until their essence is used up enough that they can fade away, like that,” Shyanne snapped her finger for emphasis, while her other hand tossed the tissue away offscreen somewhere. 

“But… but we’re dead, why should we still have to work still?” Adam’s brow wrinkled in confusion. 

“Bureaucracy. Haven’t you heard that death sucks ass, Adam?” Lawrence asked, seeming to have snapped out of his thoughts. 

“I don’t know how you knew to stay out of the Netherworld, but be grateful. No one likes it here, it gets real lonely. We all were so morose, but then those couple of breathers showed up, made Juno run after them, and then Mr. Beetlejuice showed up! With no Juno returning! Oh you really brought life back into this office, Mr. Beetlejuice. It’s been so lonely and quiet with you gone, all we can do is think about our ends again now,” Shyanne sighed sadly. 

“What, you miss all the innuendos, and the morbid and dumb ass shit I say and do?” Lawrence asked, raising an eyebrow. 

“Well yeah! It was fun! It made me forget about this stupid thing for once,” Shyanne said, hefting up the toaster. 

“I… well, you guys are weird. A-anyways, is Argenti- I mean, is Maria around? She told me to keep an eye out for a call and I’m too bored to do that,” Lawrence continued. Pink seemed to tip his hair now. Adam felt his eyebrows rise at that. Lydia said Lawrence’s hair color pertained to his emotions, so what exactly did pink correlate to? 

“Juno just dragged her off for another round of questioning. I swear, that old hag… She’s determined that you did something to her role. She thinks you took her job or something while she was gone? Don’t worry, though, we haven’t told her anything about what you were actually doing. Far as she knows, you only hung around causing trouble,” Shyanne smiled mischievously. 

“...thanks,” Lawrence said, looking surprised. 

Shyanne nodded. “Of course! Now, I may not know exactly what Maria was thinking, but I do know that she wanted to know your current location so she can start sending you more files,” Shyanne ducked offscreen for a moment before reappearing with a stack of paper. 

“Files? What for?” Adam asked, his curiosity piqued. 

“So that Mr. Beetlejuice can find the Shoggoth guy he was looking for, of course! Harry had some good ideas and pulled out some old stuff, like,  _ really  _ old, so maybe you’ll have better luck with them-“ Shyanne began to ramble on while Adam looked over to Lawrence. 

“Who’s Shoggoth, exactly?” 

Lawrence glanced back and shuffled slightly, looking uncomfortable. “It’s…. it’s my last name. It’s… it’s the only idea I have about finding my dad…” he muttered. 

Adam froze. Lawrence was really looking for his father? A strange feeling began to bulk up in Adam’s chest. 

“Oh, but I’m rambling, aren’t I? Anyways, so! This stuff is for you, but we’ll need to know where to send it to, Mr. Beetlejuice,” Shyanne said, interrupting herself. 

“I… I dunno, man. I mean, I’m starting to think this is a lost cause-“ Lawrence refused to look up as he began to wilt. 

“We’re at Jewell Lane, in Danberry, Connecticut. It’s the house on the hill,” Adam cut in. 

Lawrence spluttered and stared at Adam incredulously. Adam couldn’t blame the demon, this was something  _ way _ out of character for himself. Maitlands 2.0 indeed… 

Shyanne glanced at Adam, then at Lawrence for a moment, before writing down the address Adam gave. “Ah, I see. So uh, that house then. Makes sense, that is where Mr. Beetlejuice was summoned. Hopefully if you’re doing a job it’s not too harsh, considering you broke your contract. Can’t imagine how that feels, Juno seems like her curses are a bitch,” Shyanne shuddered. 

“She-  _ Juno _ cursed you? Your own, she-! How-how dare she!” Adam huffed. 

“A-dog, how about you shut your mouth?” Lawrence grumbled. 

Adam looked over to the demon incredulously. “But she- I, you-“ Lawrence fixed Adam with a glare that quickly had the ghost shutting up. “It’s not right!” Adam tried weakly. Lawrence didn’t reply, only turned back to the mirror, his hair a kaleidoscope of colors. 

“Ok. Expect the files soon, Mr. Beetlejuice. We’ll try and get into contact again soon. I can see Harry’s freaking out, so Juno is heading here. Don’t worry. She doesn’t know a thing about your location. All she knows is you breached your contract then got summoned. See you soon, huns,” Shyanne gave a final, bittersweet smile, before the fog began to overtake the mirror, the blood turned to water, dripping off the now reflective surface. It looked as if someone had showered in here, rather than performed a blood ritual that contacted the world of the dead. 

Lawrence was out before Adam could say a word, making the ghost trip after. “Lawrence, w-wait!” 

Adam crashed into the demon who had froze in place, his shoulders shaking. Adam stared at him for a moment, afraid, but he cleared his throat and spoke. “I… I’m sorry if I… crossed a line, Lawrence. I know this is your business, I just…”

“You just what? Wanna laugh at me? Say I’m an idiot for looking for my dad?” A growl came from Lawrence’s now still body. 

Adam almost balked. “What? When did I ever suggest that?” 

Lawrence whipped around, foam at the corner of his mouth, hair darkening into a rusty maroon. “Don’t try and play nice,  _ Adam _ . Don’t play nice, ‘cause I know you’re gonna turn around and laugh at me. I know I’m a fucking idiot, looking for a dad that clearly doesn’t want me, considering everything. I know I’m a fuckup whose own mother cursed him ‘cause he’s such a goddamn menace, but I am  _ not _ gonna stand here and take any shit you give me!” Lawrence jabbed Adam’s chest, his hair darkening still. 

“That-! I’m not  _ playing nice _ ! Out of the two of us here, the person who’d play nice like that is  _ you _ , Lawrence! You’re the one who left us in the dust when we weren’t “scary” enough for you, you’re the one that tricked Lydia, almost got my wife killed, and almost sent us to the hell that is the Netherworld apparently! Don’t you  _ dare _ act as if I’m the one that would do such an awful thing when I’m trying to help you, especially since I know what it’s like to not have a father!” Adam felt his whole body burning. He’d never been so angry before, not even when he was alive. There was just something about Lawrence’s tone of voice, the way he acted as if he had Adam figured out to a tee, when it was so obvious he knew nothing about the man. 

Lawrence staggered back, opening and closing his mouth, his eyes bulging out in shock. His hair began to change to a dark blue, and he ran a hand through it, gripping a handful of locks and tugging on it harshly. Silent, charged air filled the room. 

Adam let out a breath, and rubbed his eyes, starting to feel bad as his thoughts slowed down. “I… I think we got a little too heated. What I should say is… I’m not making fun of you, Lawrence. That would be an awful thing for me to do. Isn’t it a bit unfair of you to assume something like that of me?” He tried. 

Slowly, Lawrence nodded, his electric green eyes zipping around everywhere. 

“Look. I know things are… tense between us. You harassed me and Barbara, and hurt her, and I helped tricked you into being murdered. I want to move past that, you know? It’s not healthy to cling onto the past, when you’ve already apologized, already realized what you’ve done wrong. We’re living together now, you shouldn’t have to hide from us, and we shouldn’t have to worry about you misconstruing our actions and words. Honestly, truly, I want to help you, Lawrence. I don’t think your mother was right to curse her own child, and... I want you to find your father. No hidden agendas or anything. Okay?” Adam said. 

“…Why? Why do you… why are you being nice to me? You said so yourself, I’ve been a jackass to you and Babs. You should hate me! I’m the opposite of you. You’re-you’re nice, and normal, an-and not a fuckup. I’m a mess, an utter asshole no one wants around,” Lawrence was grinning bitterly, tinged with a strangely miserable mania. 

Adam carefully considered his words, wanting to be as clear as possible. “Because… you saved Lydia. And you saved us all from your mother. If Lydia thinks you deserve a second chance, then she may be onto something. She’s a smart girl, after all,” he finally said with a careful smile. 

Slowly, Lawrence let go of his hair with a sigh. It began to lighten, turning a shade of green once more. “That’s cheesy as shit. Should expect that from you, though,” he said after a moment. 

Adam shrugged. “I guess you’ll have to get used to it. But, I have to ask one thing of you.” He winced, sad to have to cut this moment short. 

Lawrence raised an eyebrow. “What?” 

“Can you… I want to help you and to get along, but it won’t work out if you… harass me and Barbara. You know? I really don’t like all the kissing, and groping, and  _ leering _ , and neither does she,” Adam shuddered. 

Lawrence squinted, confused. “You… really don’t..?”

“Did you actually think I did?” 

“Kind of? I mean, people were always like, saying breathers did that… and I was excited! After all that time, I finally had people to talk to and hang out with again, I spent forever waiting for you and Babs to hit the bucket,” Lawrence said. 

“I’ve been wondering about that too. What exactly do you mean you were waiting for us to kick the bucket? Were you…  _ watching _ us when we died?” Adam asked. 

Lawrence froze, then clasped his hands together, twiddling his thumbs. “Well. I…” He quickly gave that approach up with a sigh, and dove into the direct route, “Yeah I did, and yeah it was creepy as shit, I know.”

“All the time..?”

“What, like during private, intimate moments? Yeah no, of all my kinks, voyeurism is not one of the higher up ones, specifically unconsenting voyeurism.” 

“Oh, so you’re ok with unconsented groping and make-outs, but voyeurism is off the market?” 

“I thought you guys were cool with that stuff!” 

“No, we made it fairly obvious we weren't! Where did you even get the idea to greet people you've first met by french kissing them?” Adam rubbed his now starting to ache temples. 

Lawrence struggled with his words, his hands opening and closing, as if grasping for an answer that was slipping away. “I… I dunno? I dunno! I just… did it! I’d been alone since Ma kicked me out of the Netherworld and I missed contact with others, and… I guess I just… acted. Before I thought. Like a jackass,” Lawrence finished off with a sigh. 

“Do you understand that it wasn’t ok? That you made us really uncomfortable with it all?” Adam pressed. 

“Oh, I’m starting to get the picture!” Lawrence said, rocking back and forth on his feet uncomfortably. 

“Well… that’s a start. Is it… is it too much to ask for an apology?” Adam continued. 

Lawrence gave a final rock back, before straightening up with a full bodied sigh. “Should I do the same with Babs? Like, she feels that way too?” 

“Oh most definitely.” 

Lawrence crossed his arms and studied the carpet. “I guess… since it made you guys so uncomfortable, since I kind of fucked up, I should probably apologize to you both at the same time?” His neon eyes bore holes into the shag below his socks. 

“That sounds like a good idea,” Adam said slowly. Lawrence glanced back up, eyes wide in surprise, as if no one had ever said he’d had a good idea before. Oh dear, that was… so not good. It’d be best to save that topic for another day, though. “Barbara is up in the attic, shall we go talk up there?” Adam continued, jabbing a thumb towards the door. 

Lawrence closed his eyes tight, took a deep breath, then looked over to Adam, his eyes determined. “Yup, ok. This is happening. Let’s go.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are no names I could find for any of the other netherworld workers in the “what I know now” song, so I made up my own. So now I introduce Shyanne, the lady who killed herself with a toaster, in charge of all calls made to Customs and Processing.  
> Am I starting to get beetlelands going in this fic? Well I’m certainly trying!  
> *Edit  
> I forgot this fun fact! The old beetlejuice movie was shot in Vermont in this old town on a hill at the end of the neighborhood Jewell Lane. I couldn’t necessarily put a Vermont town into Connecticut, but I thought it would be fun to smash the old address in with a Connecticut town close to New York! I did a lot of googling for that one address bit lol. The pains of writing  
> Come sing what I know now with me on tumblr [@daydreaming-jessi](https://daydreaming-jessi.tumblr.com/)  
> re:edit  
> Beej, you done fucked up. now you gotta make it up.


	9. Khaki Nightmares

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lydia’s school uniform arrives and she has to assemble her best to fix the fashion disaster it is.  
> Is khaki really that bad?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally posted March 3rd, 2020. Edited January 16th, 2021

“Lydia?” 

Lydia glanced up from the photos she was hanging up, curiosity pricking her attention. Delia never sounded so worried before. “Down here,” she called out the door. She could hear the stairs creak under her stepmother’s heels as she made her way down to the basement. Delia came in with a distraught face, holding a package gingerly before her, as if it were a dead rodent. “Uh, what’s up?” Lydia asked. 

“Now, um, sweetie, you know what you’re wearing isn’t what matters, it’s the personality you have-“ Delia began. 

Lydia’s eyebrows jumped up as her stomach sank down. “Oh god, is that my uniform?” 

One of the new things that came with the school she’d been signed up for was the dress code. Apparently it had a uniform, and Lydia had never had a uniform before. She went to a typical public school in New York, where the rules were lax, and the horror stories of tacky school uniforms were only whispers in the background. She still wasn’t sure why this new school she'd been signed up to had a uniform, and the whole thing had left her a little worried, considering her more unique taste in fashion these days. Now was the moment of truth, apparently. 

Delia hesitated still, and Lydia felt her dismay only grow. “Is it that bad?” She asked, feeling a grimace form on her face. 

“It’s not great,” Delia answered simply. 

“Let’s peek into the abyss, then,” Lydia groaned, setting her stuff down, and helped Delia unpack the clothes onto an empty table. 

Silence filled the air.

“Maybe… it will look better on you?” 

“It’s khaki, Delia. Khaki .” 

“Yeah, no, this is terrible,” Delia lifted up the khaki pants. “At least they aren’t forcing skirts, though. I remember a few schools that do that, and skirts are fine and all, but when that’s all they have, you get real sick of skirts,” she winced. 

“There are polo shirts, and they’re straight up baby blue! God it’s gonna be like I’m working in an office as a drone with no life,” Lydia plucked at the shirt in disgust. 

“Well this skirt and dress shirt could be kind of cute together,” Delia pondered, lifting the two items up. 

Lydia stared at it for a long moment before turning back to Delia. “Is it too late to pick another school? Change my name? Run away to a new life and never breathe a word of this to anyone so long as I live?” 

Delia gave a sympathetic smile. “I know it’s all a little much, but it’s just during school hours. You’ll just go to class, and when school gets out, you can get back into your typical black and dreary!” 

“It’s just so… gauche, so preppy and school spirited. I think I’m gonna vomit if I look at it anymore,” Lydia flung the khaki pants away, and crossed her arms with a fierce scowl. 

“I’m sorry, hun. If I could find a way to make this a little better, I would,” Delia sighed, rubbing Lydia’s shoulder. 

“...Maybe we can. Do you have the school handbook that has all the rules in it?” Lydia asked, her eyes starting to shine. Delia considered her stepdaughter curiously, before nodding. 

“Upstairs, on my bedroom dresser. Why-“ 

“Let’s go!” Lydia was off.

Delia hurriedly scooped the clothes up and headed up to the dining room, where she deposited the four uniforms onto the kitchen table. Lydia was back already, holding the paper book with her school logo stamped onto the front. She flipped through to the school dress code, reading through quickly. An evil smile formed on her face. “Oh. This is perfect.” 

Delia pondered the rule book, then looked over to Lydia. “You don’t suppose Lawrence would want to help us find loopholes in your dress code, do you?” 

“Oh hell yes he would, but I dunno where he went. I told him I was going to go develop photos and he just disappeared. I guess I'll go check his room,” Lydia took off for the ex-guest room while Delia looked through the school rule book some more. 

Lydia bounded up the stairs and headed for Lawrence’s room, raising her hand to knock upon it when she heard muffled talking above her. Curious, Lydia glanced up and listened closer. Was that… Beej? She could recognize his gravel road of a voice anywhere. Was he up in the attic? With the Maitlands? Either she needed to do damage control, or eavesdrop. Both options had Lydia headed to the stairs to the attic. 

At their door, she carefully pressed her ear close to the crack, holding her breath and carefully listened in. 

“-so I guess that was bad.” 

“You guess?” Barbara’s voice was flatter than the Salar de Uyuni. 

“It was bad?” 

“Are you seriously asking?” 

A sigh. “I don’t… I don’t really know how to do this. I dunno how to… to interact with people. Very well. I was excited, it’d been like four hundred years since someone dead even last saw me. So I guess I just… acted without thought. And I guess- no, I did act in a way you both disliked. So sorry. I… I’m sorry.” 

Silence. 

Lydia felt her eyebrows furrow. She remembered the Maitlands saying they met Lawrence before her and her family moved in, and that he’d been inappropriate. She wasn’t sure exactly what being inappropriate fully detailed, but she didn’t want to pry. Lawrence himself never said anything, but she knew that he wouldn’t go near the Maitlands. He seemed… scared of them. Maybe now that was all about to change? 

“Thank you for apologizing. I can see that it’s not easy for you to do,” Barbara’s voice finally shattered the tension radiating from the attic space. 

“Aha, you noticed? It's like tearing off my own arm with a broken rack. And I’ve had to do that before, lemme tell you, church dungeons are not fun-“

“And so, since you have actually apologized, I forgive you. Adam?” Barbara cut Lawrence’s trailing off. 

“Same here. I forgive you as well, Lawrence.” Adam sounded proud. 

“Yeesh, way to make this stupid cozy and gross. But, yeah. Cool. Great, glad we, uh, cleared that up. So… guess I’ll just… head off.” 

Lydia’s eyes widened, and she quickly backed away from the door. 

“Lawrence?” 

“Er, yeah?” 

“I should also say... thank you for saving us, from your mother, and for saving Lydia twice. She… she means the world to us, and… well, I’m not sure what we’d do without her,” Barbara’s voice became soft at that. Lydia felt a glow in her chest, and a smile tugged at her lips at the ghost’s words. 

“Yeah... she’s my bffff. I’d do anything for that little brat. She… kinda saved me. Just don't let her know, can't let her get overconfident. That's my annoyingly sexy specialty. So. No problem I guess, Babs.” 

Lydia headed down the stairs quietly with a smile. It was enough eavesdropping for the day. At the bottom, she turned back. “Hey Beej, you up there?” She called out, as if she didn’t already know. 

“Whaddya want?” Beej’s voice seemed to sound off next to her. 

“My school uniform looks like cat vomit mixed with an office worker's broken dreams, so Stepmom and I are searching for loopholes in my school dress code to make it look presentable. Wanna help?” 

The door cracked open, Beej peering suspiciously down the stairs, the Maitlands peeking out behind him. “What’s in it for me?” 

“You get to tear through dumb legal work and help me fight the system,” Lydia replied with a slight smirk. 

“Hell yeah! Ok I’m in!” Beej grinned and bounced down the stairs. 

“You wanna join, Ghost Parents?” Lydia asked. 

“Of course!” Barbara beamed. 

“Always happy to help you out, kiddo!” Adam pulled out his reading glasses, perching them on the bridge of his nose. 

“Let’s fuck the school already, losers!” Beej said, already heading downstairs. 

When Charles came home that night, he found everyone in the kitchen, Lawrence yammering about the intricacies of legal jargon while Adam scribbled notes on Lydia’s school handbook. Barbara and Delia were starting up dinner, while Lydia messed around with a mess of cloth and outfits on the kitchen table. 

“I’m guessing your uniform came,” Charles said, putting his work things away. 

“Yup,” Lydia replied, focusing on her stitches. 

“Is it really that bad?” Charles leaned closer to take a better look at the clothes in his daughter’s hands. 

“They gave me khaki, Dad. Khaki.”

Charles nodded slowly, as if he understood the horror of the beige nightmare, and wasn’t behind his daughter in the more recent trends of fashion beyond well tailored dress shirts and pants. “So what exactly is being done about this? I’m not sure it’d be wise to cause trouble before your first day of school even started,” he said. 

“I’m just…. doing what any smart person would. Finding a way to cater the rules to my needs. BJ is best at that stuff, he’s been giving me ideas all day. Like, the rules don't say a thing about tights and underskirts,” Lydia held up the items, black tights with bats and spider patterns and a near spiderweb of an underskirt. “And they say that make up is fine as long as it’s not distracting, and hair dye can’t be any bright neon colors, but dark colors is a different story…” she continued with a large grin. 

Charles narrowed his eyes, and Lydia pulled out a box of dark purple hair dye from under the other clothes. “You are going to be put into detention on your first day of school,” he sighed. 

“Have _some_ faith in me, Father dear.” 

“Yeah, have some faith in us, Daddy dearest. I’m a pro at parsing out legal jargon bullshit,” Lawrence spoke up, still eying through the handbook over Adam’s shoulder. 

Charles raised an eyebrow at that, mouthing ‘ _Daddy dearest?_ ’ to Lydia who simply snickered and turned back to stitching intricate black lace lining to her school jackets. 

Charles decided to leave them to it, and went over to help Delia and Barbara finish dinner by chopping up the walnuts they needed. He knew Lydia was always ready to bend rules to her favor, exactly like her mother taught her to. Nothing he’d say would stop her, if he even wanted to. No he’d just have to stand back and be ready to catch her if anything blew up in her face. Even if the idea of her getting into deep trouble gave him heartburn. 

Soon, Lydia sat back. “Barbara, can you help me dye my hair?” She asked, seeming to be done with messing around with her school clothes for the moment. 

Barbara looked up from the lettuce she was washing, her eyes shining excitedly. “Sure! Oh I haven’t done something like that since high school!” 

“Ooh, managed to learn how to affect living beings through touch? Impressive,” Lawrence had handed the school book back to Adam and was watching Charles chop up walnuts when the conversation caught his interest. 

“It hasn’t been easy. It’s a lot of touch and go, spending weeks trying to do something but figuring out you just can’t do it. The handbook doesn’t really give a lot of answers on the extent of our abilities,” Adam sighed, handing Lydia the notes he’d written down. 

Lawrence snorted, and started to pick at his nails. “Of course it doesn’t. It’s about all the stuff you need to know when you get to the Netherworld. Once there it’s possible to get to the seminar about ghost abilities. If you get a green card." 

Silence filled the kitchen. “A green card?” Lydia questioned flatly. 

Lawrence blinked, cluing in onto what everyone else was thinking. “Oh, blech! No, not like demon green cards, ghost green cards.” 

“There’s a difference?” Adam asked. 

“Yes there’s a huge difference, _Adam_ ,” Lawrence sniffed, pretending to sound offended. “Take me for instance, I am beyond your guys' level, powerful demon that I am. Demons will live forever in the Netherworld, ghosts will fade away in it eventually. It’s all about the level of power you have, I think? Been a few since I last had to think about that stuff, but anyways, demons and ghosts get different green cards,” Lawrence explained. 

“Fade into the void..?” Barbara asked faintly, her pale skin somehow paling further. 

“So like demons get green cards to be alive, while ghosts get green cards to stay in the breather world. Demons have to marry someone alive, but ghosts just have to get permission from the higher ups to stay here. From there you get the lessons and seminars about all the ghostly powers and so on,” Lawrence bowled forward before that uncomfortable topic could be discussed some more. 

“So…. since we never went to the Netherworld and never got green cards…?” Adam gestured to himself and Barbara. 

“Eh, you’re doing fine. Lots of ghosts don’t end up going to the netherworld, so I don't see the big deal,” Lawrence flopped his hand lazily, while another surreptitiously reached over for a walnut that had yet to be touched. 

“Yes but… well, it’d be nice to not have to experiment and test to see everything that we’re able to do, feels like we’ll be working at it forever,” Barbara said wistfully. 

“Maybe Lawrence could teach you guys some things,” Charles said. 

“Wha-“ Lawrence dropped the stolen walnut he was about to pop into his mouth with a clatter. 

“Yeah, Beej can teach you guys everything you can do,” Lydia agreed quickly. 

“Now hold on-“ 

“Oh, it’ll be like the first time we met, when you tried to teach us about scaring people! That was fun,” Barbara giggled, she and Adam sharing a fond grin. 

Lawrence looked like he was smacked with and became a fish, opening and closing his mouth stupidly. 

“Oh yeah! You never taught us how to throw our voices! I still wanna do that,” Adam agreed. 

“Can I watch? Ghost training sounds cool,” Lydia said. 

“Oh, could she, Lawrence? Maybe Lydia can be your assistant!” Barbara asked, beaming at the idea. 

“God, fine, whatever. I’ll teach you, ok? Get off my dick now,” Lawrence let out a tired growl, even though he put zero effort into arguing. 

“Thank you, Lawrence!” Barbara said. 

“Yes, thank you!” Adam added. 

“You’re the best, Beets,” Lydia drawled, laying herself over one of Lawrence’s arms. He narrowed his eyes, and suddenly teleported next to Delia. 

“Watch it, or else I’ll lock you out of the attic onto the roof,” he pointed a warning finger at Lydia. 

“Be nice, children,” Delia finally laughed, reaching a hand out and ruffling Lawrence’s hair.

He froze, his eyes widening. Delia quickly retracted her hand, staring at Lawrence fearfully. “I uh, I just remembered I have some coke lined out in my room, I should go snort itokbyenowsuckers,” Lawrence teleported out of the room, leaving the kitchen in a much more tense mood. 

“Did I… make a mistake?” Delia asked quietly. 

Lydia hummed thoughtfully. “Dunno, that's a new one. It’s ok, Stepmom, Beej is weird. You might've made his night for how badly he expresses his feelings,” she said reassuringly. 

Delia still frowned uncertainly. “He just seems so afraid of _us_ , strangely enough. How did you get him to trust you, Lydia?” 

Lydia scrunched up her nose and shrugged. “Hell if I know. I usually don’t ever manage to be good with people. From what I can figure out, Beej is lonely, but scared of others. But I’m not scary to him, for some reason?” 

“Considering he’s a demon, beyond 'our level', it’s hard to believe that,” Charles scraped the chopped up walnuts into a bowl. 

“I mean, we did murder him that one time, so maybe he doesn't trust us still,” Adam gestured vaguely. 

Lydia stared at her hands for a moment, then grabbed the box of hair dye to do something with them. The stove hummed next to her, she could hear the oil in the frying pan on it start to boil. “I think he’s still scared of getting sent back. He knows I won’t do that to him, but any one of you guys can send Beej back to the Netherworld, to Juno,” she finally said, picking at the cardboard. 

The adults exchanged looks of worry. “Well, I suppose… maybe we haven’t tried hard enough to show that we won't?” Barbara suggested. 

“There’s only so much we can do if he just runs away every time we try to even talk to him,” Charles pointed out. 

“Well, hold on now. I think we’re making more progress than we’re realizing. Lawrence has spent nearly every evening in this kitchen with me, learning how to cook right alongside with me. Sometimes we talk, and sometimes we don’t, and it’s all around a nice time. And just today he was in the attic with you guys earlier! And he was here with us, hanging out a few minutes ago! In all the past three weeks, this was the most time we all had spent together with Lawrence. And soon he’s gonna be hanging out with you guys teaching you ghost skills! It’s small to look at, but for Lawrence I think it’s some huge steps. Letting other people into your life is scary, and sometimes we’ll want to throw our hands up and say I give up, but this is where you just gotta walk at his pace, let him decide where the line is on where we stand,” Delia smiled. 

Adam and Barbara looked at each other thoughtfully, as they considered Delia’s words. 

“Now, I think we should forget about all this gloom. So let me tell you about that bitch Megan at the pottery store,” Delia turned back to cooking. 

“Oh _no_ , she still works there?” 

“She was always so rude to Barbara about the type of clay she’d get for her pottery class!” 

"Oh my gosh, she was such a snob about it too! Not everyone thinks porcelain looks that nice, _Megan_!" 

And so the making of dinner went on. But Lydia looked over to her father, a question brewing in her mind formed by his earlier words. Charles was looking through the cupboards, looking for something, before turning to the pantry. She followed. 

“Dad?” 

Charles looked over his shoulder, slightly startled. “What is it, Lydia?” 

Lydia crossed her arms behind her, leaned against the pantry door and asked the question that had wouldn’t leave her now. “Have you… talked to Beej at all? After you guys let him stay.” 

“...No. Any time I try to start up a conversation he sort of just… runs off,” the corners of Charles’ lips ticked downward. “Any word of advice?” he asked half-jokingly. 

“I dunno. It seems like Beej is weird about dads.” Lydia looked puzzled by this herself. 

“He went looking for his father, didn’t he? When he left that last time. What happened to his father exactly?” Charles wondered. 

Lydia shrugged. “Whenever I try to ask, Beej just gets this weird look, and he changes the subject. One time he literally popped his head off and chucked it out the window to avoid the topic. He fixed the window afterwards,” she quickly added, a crooked smile forming at the strange memory. 

Charles closed his eyes at the realization that Lawrence didn’t think to open the window before throwing his head out it, but for the sake of the conversation, decided to moved past that. “Maybe it’s just going to be like this. We’ll skirt around each other and make awkward small talk when we have to, avoid eye contact or make too much eye contact, and just live our lives,” he tried to sound upbeat. 

“Dad, that literally sounds like living with a bad coworker. You know what? This is clearly something that is a problem, and I’m not gonna let it go on. You have the day off this weekend, right?” Lydia asked. 

Charles narrowed his eyes. “Lydia, I love you and trust you, but I’m going to need to hear whatever idea you’re coming up with to make sure it won’t blow up in our faces,” he said slowly. 

Lydia spread her hands out before her as she began to pace, thinking. “Beej needs to know you’re cool now.” 

“I’m only cool now?”

Lydia continued on, ignoring her father. “I want my brother to get along with my dad. I’m tired of having to drag Beej to hang out with everyone because he thinks it’ll just be awkward and weird. I want… I want our family to finally be okay now that Mom’s gone.” At this she froze, her eyes starting to glisten in the low lighting of the pantry. Charles hesitated, but reached forward and gave her a careful hug, which she reciprocated a moment after. “This weekend, on your day off, let’s go hang out. He’ll see you’re cool, and he’ll want to hang out with everyone more. Okay?” 

“Okay. Sounds like a plan.” Charles let her step back before pointing a lecturing finger. “But you won’t spring this on him at the last minute.” Lydia opened her mouth, but he continued on before she could argue, “Forcing him into something he isn’t ready for last minute could lead to disaster. You need to tell him about this, so he can prepare himself for it. Lawrence has been respectful the past few weeks, but he is still the same demon that will vomit spiders onto teens just for fun. I don't even want to think of what he'd do when panicking.” 

Lydia’s eyebrows shot up. “How did you find out about that?” 

“I have a hitman that keeps tabs on you while I’m at work.” 

Lydia shot her father a flat look. 

“Ok, I work with one of those kids’ mother and she mentioned a green haired guy and a goth were the reason her son had spiders in his pockets. I’m not going to say anything, but as your father, I should probably remind you that it wasn’t the best idea,” Charles said. 

Lydia looked away. “Yeah, probably not…“ She glanced back with a smirk, “You wanna see the video of it?”

Charles smiled wryly. “...after dinner.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lydia and Charles are scheming!! What a lovely father-daughter bonding experience. This was so fucking fluffy god, I had to take a minute to be like “how dare this family”. Just like Beej... huh.  
> Anyway you can come scream about found family tropes With me on tumblr [@daydreaming-jessi](https://daydreaming-jessi.tumblr.com/)


	10. Hey Brother, can I be your Sister?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lydia and Beej have a heart to heart for the hundredth time. When’d they get so mushy?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally posted March 4th, 2020. Edited January 16th, 2021

A knock sounded off at the door. Lawrence glanced over to it from where he was sitting on the floor, before lazily waving a hand. The door opened, letting Lydia in. 

“Dinner’s ready… is that the coke you’re doing?” She asked, pointing to the soda bottle in Lawrence’s hand. 

“Yup. Fresh from the 1800’s,” he gestured with the bottle of coke. 

“Oh my god,” Lydia snickered. 

“What? I was bored and it fell out of my pocket!” Lawrence grinned. 

“You act like a criminal so much but then do stuff like that,” Lydia said, still smiling. 

Lawrence rolled his eyes. “Please, I’m not doing hard drugs when you’re around. I don’t know everything about breathers, but I know enough to know that drugs kill your weak ass bodies,” he gestured to her pointedly. 

“So you do actual drugs?” 

“Yes Lydia, I do _actual_ drugs, drinking literal cocaine laced soda is child’s play for me. Just the other night I did a bunch of shrooms in the basement to see if I could party with the spiders. It’s not really fun to do drugs alone though,” Lawrence shrugged. 

“You just do them in the netherworld then?” Lydia moved to look over his shoulder at what he was doing. 

“Yep.” 

“So if you’re not doing drugs, then what _are_ you doing?” Lydia jabbed a finger at the papers spread out before Lawrence. 

“I got bored and decided to check out my paper pocket. See what I collected over the years. Lotta smutty letters, some receipts from sex stores, lil post it note reminders of how great I am, the works,” he swept his arm proudly over to the stuff he’d laid out. 

“Gross. Anything actually cool?” 

“I got this one guy’s will,” Lawrence held up a yellowed paper. 

“Ok that one sounds interesting,” Lydia grabbed it and scanned through. “Will Barnett… he had a porcelain statue made for his pug?” She asked. 

“Oh yeah, Derrick! Totally forgot about that guy,” Lawrence pulled a small, half cute, half ugly dog statue out of the pocket of his suit jacket laid out across his lap. It was the size of Lydia’s hand, and had a small layer of dust in the nooks and crannies of it. 

“How’d you get this?” Lydia grinned. 

“Posed as a long lost cousin at his viewing, hooked up with his grandson, a pallbearer, the maid, and then nabbed it at the will reading. Guy left his entire estate to his mistress and totally left the rest of the family out in the cold. Was a huge dick in the netherworld, too, apparently, so I dug up his grave and took his boots,” Lawrence explained. 

“Holy shit, are those it?” Lydia pointed to the shoes he wears, set by the bed across from them. 

“Nah. The boots he wore were useless things. Mine survive treks through swamps, graveyards, Iowa, the works. I tossed the dead guy boots into a river near Algeria,” he said. 

Lydia laughed, and Lawrence grinned before turning back to tuck the papers into his pocket. But then, Lydia was strangely quiet for a moment, making Lawrence glance back to her. “What?” He asked. 

She let out a sigh. “I… never did say... thanks. For scaring off those kids earlier,” Lydia finally said. 

Lawrence internally jumped. “I just did it to have fun. Why’re you thanking me?” 

“Cause… I don’t get along with other people well. I’m weird. I’m the weird girl with the haunted house. Even back in New York I didn’t get along with others. I was the weird girl who doesn’t celebrate Christmas, I’m the weird girl who knows a lot of different cultures’ mourning rituals and takes pictures of dead plants in abandoned buildings, I’m… the weird girl with the dead mom. And when I go to this new school I’ll be the weird girl with the haunted house. I just didn’t want to deal with that yet. So… thanks,” Lydia stared at her knees. 

Lawrence was quiet for a moment, then draped an arm around Lydia in what she’d hesitantly call a side hug. “I like that you’re the weird girl, Lyds. I’m the weird abomination that wasn’t ever alive, so I guess we just have to be weird bffffffs,” he mumbled. 

Lydia smiled, leaning into the hug, before preparing to finally bring up what this whole thing was about. “About that, sorry if me… calling you my brother was weird. You just… I guess I panicked, I never really thought of how to explain how we’re bfffs to other people, and-“

“‘S cool scarecrow. If. If you wanna call me your…bro-ther. I’m fine. With that. I… I only ever had my ma, so I never really knew what it was like. To have any other family,” Lawrence refused to make eye contact. 

Lydia squeezed him tight with a full hug. “Well then, I guess we’re family now, loser.” Lawrence’s hug tightened at her words, and Lydia felt the burning pricks of tears disappear from her eyes. “Come on, let’s go eat.” She tugged Lawrence to his feet and dragged him off downstairs. 

Unbeknownst to them, a stack of files appeared on the bedside table, with a handwritten note from Shyanne on top. A ghostly wind filled the room for a moment, and Lawrence’s papers were put away back into his suit pocket. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I talked to my roommate about this when I wrote it and she wondered what kind of coke Beej was doing, the drug or the soda, and I immediately had to be like ‘why not both’ so y’all can thank her for the fun coke laced cola lmao  
> These kids man, it’s about time we make this official family time by making Beej and Lydia brother and sister :3  
> Come watch me woo Sandy on tumblr [@daydreaming-jessi](https://daydreaming-jessi.tumblr.com/)


	11. School’s in Session

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s time for the Maitlands to learn about the gift of ghosting!  
> (Yes I ran that joke into the ground this chapter and I do not regret it)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally posted March 6th, 2020. Edited January 21st, 2021

“Ok lesson number one on how to be a sexy ghost. Never let yourself get caught.” Lawrence tapped meaningfully at the chalkboard with a crudely drawn sandworm and priest on it. Lydia stood next to him, holding a ragged binder labeled “Ghost info crap”, while Barbara and Adam stood before the two, wondering where Lawrence got a chalkboard and how he wrangled it into the attic. 

It’d been two days after Lawrence promised to teach them when he came pounding on the attic door, he and Lydia bouncing with energy and ready to start the ‘ghosting lessons’. It was a lovely, sunny summer day, the wind occasionally blowing in through the window Barbara opened, and they could hear the podcast Delia was listening to as she worked on the ongoing garden project. It made Barbara miss the days  _ she _ could head out and just stand in her own garden and watch it grow without a worry of the world beyond the backyard. 

Adam raised his hand tentatively, bringing Barbara back to the present. “Er, caught by what exactly?” He asked. 

“Oh you know, humans, sandworms, any sort of eldritch monstrosity hanging around out there in the void that is the universe,” Lawrence listed off. 

“What?” Barbara and Adam looked confused and terrified. 

“So! In order to keep yourself from being caught, you have to figure out a way to defend yourself. And how do you do that? Why, the five p’s!” Lawrence flipped the chalkboard over, revealing a neat list on the other side, that was most definitely not five items that started with p. 

“Number one. Paralyze them! Paralyzing folks can give you enough time to get out of the situation you’re in, and can allow you to fuck with them if you wanna. Fellas, a demonstration please!” Lawrence grinned wickedly as two other Lawrence’s appeared at his sides, grinning just as maniacally. 

They dusted and readjusted their clothes, which were surprisingly still the infamous black and white suit, and the two got into their roles. The right clone mimicked that he was threatening the left clone, a mean snarl on his face. Left clone pretended to swoon from fright, but then a literal lightbulb went off over his head. He reared back, and his arms shot forward into the other clone, his hands phasing into the other’s body. The lights  _ somehow _ flickered in the attic, obstructing the moment of Right clone spasming uncontrollably, until they tilted backwards, frozen. Left clone straightened up and threw their arms above their head in victory, before turning and walking back to Lawrence’s side. 

“Oh my goodness, is he alright?” Barbara gasped. 

Right clone twitched a moment, then straightened up and gave a thumbs up. “Of course he is, I would never hurt my boys! Ain’t that right buddies?” Lawrence sounded hurt as he looked to each of his doubles. 

They nodded vigorously, stepping close to the original and patting his shoulders in tandem, as if comforting him. Left clone reached out a second hand and started to pat Lydia as well, grinning at her. 

“Well, how did that work exactly?” Adam said, he and Barabara looking bewildered still. 

“Simple. You know how you feel all cold inside?” Lawrence and the clones stepped back into place, this time Lawrence taking Left clone’s place. “Focus on that cold. Imagine it forming into a shape and traveling up your arms into your hands, then look to the person you’re wanting to paralyze, focus on them and the cold, and,” Lawrence’s hands shot forward into Right clone, the lights flickered once again, and right clone spasmed uncontrollably before slumping forward. “You push it right into their bodies,” Lawrence smirked. 

“O-oh goodness, it looks so violent,” Barbara murmured. 

Lawrence shrugged. “Well, it’s a violent world. You gotta do what you gotta do to survive. Now, I want you two to try.” 

“What?” Adam sounded horrified. 

“Just paralyze him, it’ll be fine. He doesn’t mind,” Lawrence said. Right clone nodded. 

“We’re not going to attack your clone unprovoked!” Barbara said. 

“You guys wanted me to teach you about being ghosts, didn’t you? Look, the Deetz aren’t going to be living in this house forever. Some day, you’ll run into some bad folks who want you gone, and you’ll have to protect yourself from them. Whether they’re a breather or a fellow ghost, you’ll have to defend yourselves. This is just how it is!” Lawrence gestured frustratedly. 

“Come on, you’re only going to stun him. You won’t actually hurt the clone,” Lydia spoke up. 

“Yeah, we’ve gone through much worse than two noobs trying to freeze us,” Lawrence rolled his eyes while the clones nodded with grimaces. He then gestured to Barbara. “You go first, Babs.” 

Barbara bit her lip worriedly, but stepped forward. She took a deep breath, screwing her eyes shut and concentrating. 

“You’re gonna have to do this fast, people aren’t gonna stand around and let you paralyze them, yknow,” Lawrence said flatly. 

“I’ve never done this before! I’m still not sure what you even mean by it!” Barbara snapped. 

“Lawrence, I think you’re gonna have to be more patient with us. Last time you were barely here for a minute before you gave up, you know,” Adam said carefully. 

Lawrence threw his arms up in frustration. “Well Jesus, I dunno what to say! This should be easy stuff for you guys, it’s lesson number one!” He huffed. 

“Beej,” Lydia said warningly. 

“We’re not like you, Lawrence! This stuff is weird,” Barbara said, starting to sound annoyed. 

“Yeah, that’s just it isn’t it? You don’t do anything that’s weird, cause you’re such pussies. That’s why you’re up here with an attic full of half assed hobbies, reminding you that you were too afraid of life to live it,” Lawrence sneered. 

“Beej!” 

“Lawrence!” 

Barbara’s cheeks reddened, her eyes narrowed, and she threw her arms forward into the clone. The attic lights turned off for ten full seconds, and when they turned back on, the clone was frozen in place. Barbara gasped, covering her mouth in surprise. “I- I didn’t-!”

“There you go! Yeah, it gets easy if you’re pissed at the person. You’re welcome,” Lawrence smirked. 

“Beej, that was a little much,” Lydia elbowed the demon. He glanced over to a pale looking Barbara, who was looking between the clone and her hands with a frightened look. Adam carefully placed a hand on her shoulder, making her jump as she looked over to her husband fearfully. 

Lawrence sighed. “Jesus, they’re too nice.” 

The clone then snapped up straight. They let out a whoop and patted Barbara on the back with a grin, before heading towards the open window and letting themselves fall out of it. 

“See? He’s fine. God, you’re both such babies,” Lawrence sighed. 

“Is that… is that really how it feels?” Barbara asked quietly. She looked over to Lawrence with wet eyes. “Is that how  _ you  _ feel when you use your powers?” 

Beej shrugged. “Yeah?” He sounded uncertain. 

“It hurt!” Barbara lifted up her hands, revealing that the skin was patchy and red, like she had plunged them into a drift of snow. 

“Whoa,” Lydia breathed, she and Adam quickly moving to Barbara’s side as they quickly checked her over. Adam gently cupped Barbara’s hands, his eyebrows wrinkled with worry. 

“Yeah, it’ll sting the first few er, hundred times or so. You’ll get used to it, eventually,” Lawrence rocked back and forth on his feet. 

“Lawrence that’s how you feel when you use  _ any _ of your powers? That’s awful!” Barbara sounded horrified now. 

“Yeah well… that’s how it is. Ma didn’t care that it hurt, so I had to toughen up and get used to the pain of doing ghost shit when she taught me. Fortunately this is one of the rougher things, hopefully you won’t have to do as much as I have. But it’s good to know just in case!” Lawrence smiled brightly. Upon the horrified look of the others, his smile fell slightly. 

“Fucking Juno,” Lydia muttered darkly, glaring at the binder in her arms. 

“So, do all of these powers hurt?” Adam asked, looking pale. 

Lawrence wiggled his hand vaguely. “Eh, that’s one of the worse ones. The other ones are easier,” Lawrence said. “But! Uh, you should. You should probably try it, or maybe not,” he continued, gesturing awkwardly to Adam, shoving a hand into one of his pockets. 

“I don’t know, if it’s gonna hurt them, maybe we should move onto something a little less harsh,” Lydia said, looking through the binder. 

“No, no I should know how to defend myself. It’s not fair of me to rely on Barbara only knowing,” Adam cut in, squeezing Lydia’s shoulder reassuringly. 

The clone, whom had been awkwardly fiddling with the paints for the town model, perked up and moved over to the group once more. Adam stepped up next to them. “Er, any tips, either of you?” Adam asked. 

“I dunno, you’re pretty soft. I don’t think I could really purposefully make you mad,” Lawrence leaned against the wall. 

“Oh! I know, think about that one rude kid, I think he was Rodrick? And think about that time he looked you square in the face and called you dude!” Barbara suggested. 

Adam paused, then he squared his jaw, and placed his hands  _ on _ the chest of the clone. 

“Wait no, Adam IN HIS BODY!”

A frigid wind blasted through the attic, Lydia yelped, Barbara leapt to cover the girl’s body with her’s, and Lawrence vanished. Adam stumbled back, his clothes a rumbled mess with icicles hanging off the tips of his hair, and the clone laid flat on their back. 

“I-is everyone alright?” Adam asked. The clone let out a groan, and slowly Barbara let Lydia go. 

“We’re okay,” Lydia said as she saw Lawrence hiding under the model table, carefully squeezing Barbara’s hand reassuringly. The ghost winced, and Lydia gave a quick apology as she let go. “What was  _ that _ ?” she asked Lawrence, moving to help the clone up. They were shivering, and quickly moved to huddle under the sun shining through the window. 

“ _ That _ was a blast of ghost energy. It can pretty much freeze most anything frozen solid if it’s powerful enough. You, uh, were supposed to focus it  _ into _ clone boy’s body there, A-dog,” Lawrence drawled, stretching out lazily under the table. 

Adam ducked his head, rubbing his raw hands and wincing. “I’m  _ so  _ sorry, I, I didn’t know,” he said. 

“Maybe this is too dangerous to have Lydia around after all,” Barbara said gently, moving to cup Adam’s cheeks and rubbing under his eyes. 

“Oh Jesus, no pity party. You couldn’t hurt Scarecrow if you tried,” Lawrence got up from under the table and sauntered over, gesturing vaguely in Lydia’s direction. A shimmering, translucent green bubble appeared around the teen. 

“Beej apparently put a protection rune around me. Very ritualistic, involved pouring a shitton of salt into my pockets, real professional,” Lydia smirked. 

“It’s the simple things that protect you,” Lawrence batted his eyes at her, before stepping into Barbara and Adam’s personal bubble. He took their hands and concentrated. For a few tense moments there was only silence, until the other three exchanged a confused look. 

“Er, Lawrence? You, uh, doing something there?” Barbara asked pointedly. 

“Hm? Oh, shit, uh,” Lawrence dropped their hands quickly. 

“Oh!” Adam stared at the appendage in surprise. The frostburn stinging his hand was gone. 

“Sorry, I. I forgot. To, uh, ask,” Lawrence scratched the back of his neck, wincing. 

Barbara held her hand up in awe, her eyes wide. “How’d you do that?” She asked, splaying out her fingers as she looked for any sign of red. 

“I got good at fixing this after a while,” Lawrence shrugged, refusing to meet anyone’s gaze, pink starting to streak his hair. 

“I think Beej wants to know if you want him to do your other hands, too,” Lydia nudged the demon as she walked by, holding a blanket that she carefully wrapped the still shivering clone. He hummed gratefully, curling closer into the blanket. 

The Maitlands fixed Lawrence with questioning looks, making him groan. “Ugh, y-yeah, if you want, or whatever. God this is weird…”

“If you don’t mind, then yes, please,” Barbara smiled. 

“Thank you,” Adam added gratefully, as they held their other hands out to the demon. 

Lawrence’s hair flushed a brighter pink as he took their hands. “Well jeez, the way you’re acting it’s like you use both your hands for private sessions,” he huffed. 

“Oh stop deflecting with sex jokes and just accept our gratitude, Lawrence,” Barbara laughed. 

Lydia began to cackle as Lawrence fumbled. “Wh- Deflect?! I don’t deflect shit, all my jokes are the same!” He huffed, shooting them a glare. 

“Hm, no. You get this look in your eyes when you’re joking for real, like you’re waiting for the punchline to hit everyone, and you wanna see that exact moment,” Barbara described. 

Oh wow, only Lydia has read his number like this before. Having the Maitlands do it too now? He was losing his edge, getting soft. Stupid, sexy ghosts, making him lose his defenses. 

“Oh my god, I can’t believe she’s nailed you like this!” Lydia wheezed, the clone snickering next to her. 

“Shut up, scarecrow, or you can join the other clone out there,” Lawrence growled, jerking his head to the window. 

“You mean this clone?” The attic door opened and Delia came in with the other clone in tow, carrying a vase of flowers. “Oof, what happened here? Really chilly,” Delia looked around curiously. 

“I made a mistake, as usual,” Adam sighed, looking quite dejected. 

“Yep, and that makes you the worlds cutest asshole, no one else has ever messed up before you did now, especially not me. I’m perfect,” Lawrence snorted as he finally let go of their hands. 

Adam looked up to the demon, then gave a slight chuckle. “I guess I deserve some teasing,” he said. 

“Only when you’re being silly,” Barbara said, giving Adam a peck on the cheek. Lawrence glanced away, his heart hammering unsteadily. 

Delia set the vase of flowers out on the table, carefully fanning the flowers out and attracting the Maitlands’ attention. “Oh that’s beautiful! Thank you, Delia!” Barbara gushed, moving to look closer at the vase. 

Delia beamed, fluttering her hands. “I just thought you guys would appreciate some color and good vibes! There were some gorgeous wildflowers near the fence, and their aura was just screaming out to me, and Little Bug here was such a kind help!” She gestured to the clone, who grinned bashfully as they waved the compliment off. 

“Hey, no one gets to nickname my clones except for me!” Lawrence cut in. 

“Oh, really? Then what are their nicknames?” Delia asked, crossing her arms with an amused half-smile. 

“Clearly that one is Gilbert L. Bailey II!” Lawrence replied, throwing an arm around the clone next to Delia. 

“That… is not a nickname,” Lydia said after a moment of awkward silence. 

“Yeah, I don’t think that would count for one,” Barbara noted, Adam nodding in agreement. 

“Well! He likes it!” Lawrence said. The clone shrugged, not having a strong opinion over it. Lawrence glared at the clone and flipped him off. The clone flipped him off right back. 

“Since Little Bug likes it, my nickname wins. Now I’ll let you guys get back to your ghost lessons,” Delia interrupted, winking at Lawrence with another bemused smile before heading back out of the attic. 

“Right, the lessons,” Adam sighed, still looking a little upset from his mistake. 

“Well, I think you guys go the basics of that one. How about we forget about the five p’s for now, and do something that’s actually fun. Like the one I was supposed to teach you,  _ throwing your voices _ !” Lawrence’s voice echoed throughout the house. They could hear Delia’s startled yelp in the distance. A smile appeared on Adam’s face, his and Barbara’s eyes glimmering excitedly once more. 

“Finally, ghost lessons can be fun with you for once,” Lydia chuckled. 

“Every moment with me is a goddamn delight, Scarecrow! Now, on with the lesson. First off, you’ll want to get a good look at the room…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After all the mushy feely stuff it’s time to make jokes again. By that I mean it’s time for Beej to badly flirt with the Maitlands and lydia judges him and the Maitlands learn how to go ghost :D  
> It’s been real nice here, and y’all have been so sweet, thanks you guys. Your comments and kudos have given me life and encouraged this further than I’ve gone with anything else. I’m still not sure where this story will end up, but I hope I don’t let you all down ;w; you deserve a good story with how nice you’ve all been!  
> You can tell me random ghost facts over on tumblr [@daydreaming-jessi](https://daydreaming-jessi.tumblr.com/)


	12. Morning, Where are You?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lydia wakes up and tries to go find that gosh darn demon. where’d he go now???

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally written March 9th, 2020. Edited January 21st, 2021

Lydia cracked her eyes open with a grumble. Weak sunlight was filtering in under her black curtains. Slowly she pushed herself up and out of bed. She had to get going, today was going to be kind of a big day, but first she should get showered, take her medicine and get dressed. 

Soon, Lydia made her way downstairs, where she found Delia in the middle of her yoga. “Good morning, Lydia! Did you sleep well last night?” Delia asked with a bright grin while she teetered back and forth in the supported headstand pose. 

“Not well enough for  _ that _ sort of weather,” Lydia glared at the bright sunlight already streaming through the den’s windows. She much preferred darker days, where the sun hid behind a layer of dusty clouds. Fall couldn’t come fast enough. 

“I’ve already started some coffee, maybe that’ll help,” Delia smiled knowingly, moving into the feathered peacock pose. 

“Thanks, Stepmom,” Lydia yawned, making her way to the kitchen. 

There she found her father already partaking of the glorified, powdered bean brew, sipping his mug while checking up on the news on his phone. “Good morning, Lydia,” he said, nudging the other cup of coffee he poured towards her. Lydia groaned in reply, slumping into a chair and pulling the drink closer still, warming her eternally cold hands on the burning mug. Mornings were never good, no matter how many people said otherwise. 

“It’s surprisingly quiet today. Did you and Lawrence stay up late?” Charles asked, glancing up from his phone. 

Lydia straightened up to take a drink. “Not really. He was tired from teaching the residential ghosts how to ghost, so I left him alone last night. He hasn’t been down yet?” 

Charles shook his head. “No, there’s been a distinct lack of chaos this morning.” 

Contrary to everyone’s expectations, Lawrence rose the minute the sun did. Lately, he started to wander around the house looking for something to do while waiting for other people to wake up, usually Delia, who would be up right after him looking to do some yoga with the sunrise.  _ That _ was when Lawrence would cause some mischief, maybe by creating a light show with her crystals or causing furniture to start floating around her, or whatever else he came up with. Speaking of, he hadn’t bugged Lydia at all while she was getting ready today. Usually he loved to mess with her mirror while she did her makeup, or place things on the ceiling while she was in the shower and cause her to tear her room up looking for it. For him to suddenly stop was strange, but maybe all those ghost lessons wore him out and he was sleeping in for once. It wasn’t the most outlandish possibility to Lydia, now that she knew that ghost powers could actually be painful to perform. She never would’ve guessed that interesting fact before, Lawrence never gave any sign of experiencing pain while using his powers. 

“Maybe he needs someone to wake him up today,” Lydia got up, taking her coffee with her. 

“If he needs to sleep in, then let him sleep in. I doubt he’d be very happy if you woke him up,” Charles warned. 

“I’m just gonna check on him. Besides, we got stuff to do today, remember?” Lydia replied. The only reply she heard was Charles humming noncommittally. 

She passed Delia putting her yoga mat away in the living room. “Have you seen Beej at all?” Lydia asked the older woman. 

Delia paused and looked around in surprise. “I haven’t. I wondered what had felt off about today,” she noted. 

Lydia narrowed her eyes in suspicion, and continued upstairs. “Hey Beej, are you really still asleep?” Lydia pounded on his bedroom door. No response came forth. “Hey, you’re not skipping out on me, are you? Cause it’s kind of shitty to not say anything and leave me hanging today. Beej?” Lydia pressed her ear against the door. She could hear a distant breeze from inside. 

Lydia opened the door and carefully stepped in. The sheets on the bed were untouched, not recently rumpled like they usually were from Lawrence’s usual napping, and there was no sign of the demon hiding anywhere in the room. “Beej?” Lydia called out again, and her eyes landed on the open window. She set her coffee down ducked out of the window carefully, and made her way along the roof, searching for any sign of Lawrence.  _ ‘Is he in the attic?’ _ She wondered as made her way over to the door leading inside. 

She knocked on the oak wood, which was quickly opened by a confused looking Adam. “Lydia? Are you running from Charles and Delia again?” He asked suspiciously. 

Lydia shook her head. “No, I’m looking for Beej. He’s not downstairs or in his room, is he up here with you guys?” Lydia stepped into the attic, looking around for the green haired demon. All she could see was Barbara pulling a book down from the shelves. 

“Haven’t seen him. He’s probably down in the basement if nowhere else,” Adam said, closing the door behind Lydia. 

“Ugh, why today of all days is he being weird? He said he’d do this!” Lydia groaned, pressing a hand to her forehead. 

“Oh you know Lawrence, he does whatever he wants when he wants. I’d say you’re just suffering from caffeine withdrawal,” Barbara said teasingly, coming over to ruffle Lydia’s hair. 

“I don’t get how you two are so cheery in the mornings. They always suck,” Lydia huffed, ducking away from the cold hand. 

“Mornings are always a chance for something new to happen. They’re exciting,” Adam replied, pinching Lydia’s cheek as he headed for the model town he and Barbara were working on. 

Lydia slowly walked after him, observing the miniature town. A few weeks after the walls Sandy broke down were repaired, Adam decided to take up a task in the times he found himself with only time on his hands. He decided he wanted to recreate a miniature model of their house, which then became their neighborhood, and so on it evolved until he was making a miniature version of their county. Charles and Delia happily got him the supplies he needed for it, Barbara lended a hand sometimes, and Lydia helped him get references for his creation. It reminded him of his old hobby, something about a crib he used to work on, and he found it soothing in times of anxiety. It’d grown a lot, and was quite impressive, nearing ever closer to its completion. 

“Looks pretty good,” Lydia noted, running a gentle finger over one of the houses. A spider crawled out from under it, carefully climbing onto Lydia’s hand. She smiled slightly as the arachnid began to explore her hand. 

“Thanks, I’m sort of surprised how quickly it’s come together. I guess I’m a better woodworker than I thought,” Adam chuckled. He cupped his hand to the spider, which happily moved onto him, and he carefully carried it over to the window, where it was safely deposited outside. 

“Lydia?” Charles’ distant voice carried up the stairs. 

“Coming! Well, I’m gonna go see if I can find Beej. We’re gonna go out with Dad and see if we can’t make some trouble today,” Lydia said. 

“Lawrence  _ and  _ Charles? Well good luck I suppose,” Barbara sounded dubious about it. 

“It’ll be fine. I just gotta find that damn demon,” Lydia started down the stairs, before remembering to race back up to hug Barbara and Adam goodbye. They kissed her forehead and she pretended to make a disgusted face. Then she properly headed down. 

“Any sign of Beej?” Lydia asked as she spotted her father at the bottom of the attic stairs. 

“No. And you haven’t seen him either?” Charles asked. 

“Nope. Did you check the basement? Adam thinks Beej could be down there,” Lydia suggested. 

“If he is then he must’ve gotten into  _ something _ that’s distracting him,” Charles looked perturbed. This whole thing did seem a little out of character for Lawrence. Why would he break his routine now? 

“I’ll go look,” Lydia said, heading for the basement. While she passed Lawrence’s room, she ducked in and grabbed her coffee again, taking another quick swig of the rapidly cooling drink. Beej should hope that the drink would start to lessen her grumpy mood that was hiding her growing concern soon. 

Down the two sets of stairs she went into the chilled concrete basement, flicking on it’s lights as she went. The doors were all shut, but she still headed for the dark room, hoping Beej was just messing around with her development equipment inside. 

It was dark in there as well, though, with no sounds to be heard of anyone inside. Not a single sign of Lawrence could be seen. The long building dread began to climb up Lydia’s throat, refusing to be ignored now. “Beej? Where are you?” She set her coffee mug down, and began to open cabinets, futilely thinking that maybe he was hiding in one of them to scare her. “C’mon, this is getting old. We were gonna go out, remember? Where are you hiding?” 

Something suddenly shifted, and Lydia turned to see it was a paper, fluttering to the floor behind her. She scooped it up, jumping when she realized blood was dripping down the back of the paper, haphazardly scrawled in some sort of rune. On the front was a quickly scribbled note, clearly written in a panic, and it’s words had her heart leaping up into her throat. 

_ Skarecro, wsa sunmonb bi sum laby, am traqqd, sneb  _ **helq** _.  _

“Fuck,” was all could Lydia say. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry :I  
> You can panic at me on tumblr here if you want [@daydreaming-jessi](https://daydreaming-jessi.tumblr.com/)


	13. Hey, Somebody’s Left the Roof

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On the night before, Beej did some pining and thinking, but then....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Posted March 13th, 2020, edited January 29th, 2021

The stars shined a bit duller tonight with the full moon overhead. Lawrence let out a dramatically drawn out groan as he stretched out on the roof, watching the empty sky above him. His body was sore from all the tricks he made it pull today, and was now protesting any further movement, even blinking. His head was bursting with electricity. The way Barbara and Adam  _ looked  _ at him, much less everything else that went on, was enough to send his needy brain spiraling with different scenarios, all involving him managing to get the two swooning for his crusty ass. An impossible dream, but one his mind just couldn’t help but latch onto. 

He thought a few weeks away from the Maitlands in the Netherworld would reset him, make him come to his senses and realize he had zero chance of getting those two to even think of considering him as something more than a pest, much less look at him so goo goo eyed like they did each other. But no, his brain was as determined as ever to screw him over, and it was  _ worse _ now, because he’d made the stupid decision to become alive. Now this warm, fluttery feeling that jumped to life every time he saw the couple was sinking into his mind, gumming up his thought process until all he could focus on the way Adam proudly fixed up another creaky step and pat the house’s walls as if it were an old friend, on the way Barbara twirled around to a song playing in her head as she placed a new knickknack into place in the living room. He’d spend hours thinking of their twinkling eyes, gentle smiles, squishing hugs, their  _ everything _ . 

It was disgusting. He wanted part of it so  _ bad _ . He didn’t quite understand why though. He’d never really had a relationship before, just a series of one night stands that got hormones under control or distracted bored minds from the unending grind of the afterlife long enough to not go insane. Nothing fulfilling. Nothing to soothe the aching want of his hidden most desires. But there was the problem that everything he heard about relationships sounded awful, full of screaming and jealousy, controlling and changing one’s significant other’s behavior until they fit the one’s liking. He had enough of that shit with Mother Fear, he did  _ not _ need to put himself into any more of  _ that _ . 

And yet... when he started to watch the Maitlands so long ago now, waiting for the ticking clock of death to run its course, he saw something entirely else. Love, trust, happy devotion, it was insane. It made his chest hurt. He couldn’t believe that something like that existed! They were so plain, so vanilla, there weren’t any hidden sex dungeons, no secret dubious tragedy, they were just happily married. It reached that desire buried under centuries of repression and dragged it forth kicking and screaming until he was drowning in the want again. It drove him nuts how much he was attracted to the couple’s love. God, how pathetic can you get? Of all kinks in the universe, and his magnum opus was stability. 

Lawrence covered his face with his hands, letting out a long groan. He needed to forget that, he needed to focus on other things, like, like-

“-night Lydia, love you.”

“Night. Love you too, Dad. See you in the morning.” 

Lydia’s and Charles’ voices seeped through the shingles to Lawrence’s ears, and a pound of dread dropped into his gut. Right, he needed to focus on  _ that _ . Lydia had come up to him with big innocent eyes that instantly had him on edge, as she only had that look when trouble was coming. She said that Charles had a day off this coming weekend, and a car, and she was bored of being stuck in the house and thought he was bored of being stuck in the house too, and since Charles had a car, she thought it’d be a good idea for them to head out for a day. Together. With Daddy Chuck. 

“Why didn’t I say no?” He quietly bemoaned himself. 

Because Lydia wanted him to come. He could see how bad she wanted them all to hang out for a day in the way she fidgeted with her clothes, like they were coming to life and trying to jump off and she had to pinch them back into obedience. And he couldn’t say no to that kid, to his absolute horror of realizing how far he had fallen. He just didn’t know why she wanted this to happen. 

He was fine with hanging out with Lydia, he loved it in fact. They were not only bfffffffs, they were sibling bffffffs, and every time they hung out was a fun time. And soon Lydia would be going to school and wouldn’t have as much time to hang out, so he needed to cram as much fun into their time together as possible. No the problem was not Lydia. It was the tall, dark, and mysterious handsome man that was Charles. Well, handsome to folks like Delia. He was a little too Type A for Lawrence’s taste. 

He didn’t know Charles at all, and maybe that was on purpose, but he couldn’t tell Lydia that. She would want to know why he didn’t want to know her dad, wouldn’t take his dodging, and he’d have no satisfactory answer to give her. He just didn’t trust Charles, and he didn’t know why exactly. Maybe it was because he didn’t understand how the father of the teenage girl he tried to marry could so easily ‘forgive’ him. Or maybe it was because he still couldn’t shake the old distrust he gained from before, when he kicked Charles out of the house, a distrust that had been brewing for millennia. It sucked, but he didn’t know how to fix that. Maybe this hangout would help? Maybe Lydia was onto something? 

Lawrence closed his eyes and let out a sigh. Tomorrow he’d have to suck it up and see. He couldn’t just avoid Charles, they were basically living together now. He shouldn’t be scared of a breather, he’s  _ Beetlejuice _ for god's sake! 

“Fuck fear, I’m gonna do this. I’ll just do this stupid hang out thing, I’ll annoy Lydia and Charles, and just eat away any feelings that try and make me ruin this any more than I will. I’m the ghost with the most, the demon with no reason, I am no one’s bitch without explicit consent, not even fear’s!” He smiled viciously to scare away his stupid emotions. 

_ Beetlejuice _ …

Lawrence jolted, looking around confusedly. Did he hear that? Was he hearing things now or..? 

_ “Beetlejuice.” _

Oh shit. Lawrence launched up to his feet frantically. Who was saying that? Was he about to be unsummoned? He’d tried so hard! He thought he’d been good! 

...But, this didn’t feel like he was being unsummoned, did it? No, this was something else. There was a tug in his very essence, like he was being pulled somewhere else- 

Oh no.

“ **_Beetlejuice_ ** !” 

“No, fuck, stop! I can’t leave yet!” He cried out to the uncaring sky. 

Lawrence felt his body tumble through the void as it was tugged to its summoner. He saw flashes of light, glimpses of moving creatures he couldn’t name as they too teleported through the void to their destination, visions that would drive mortals mad. 

Then he slammed into reality again. 

He let out a moan, his eyes struggling to adjust to the candlelit room. There was shag carpet under his hands, and the smell of lavender filled the air. He was still in a t-shirt and jeans, left with zero of his expansive suit inventory. Lawrence shoved himself up to his knees, and stared at the salt circle encasing his body. “Shit,” he muttered. 

“You… you came!” 

Lawrence looked up. Before him stood a breather with wild blue dyed hair, wide brown eyes behind a thick pair of glasses, and was wearing what looked to be an old black bathrobe over shorts and an old band shirt. They held a thick, ancient looking book in one hand, and the other was held up in a dramatic fashion. The breather started, quickly shutting the book and tossing it onto the couch behind them. 

“Demon Beetlejuice, I have summoned you here to do as I order! I am your master, and you will obey me!” They said in a deep, dramatic voice. 

“Fuck me,” Lawrence groaned, feeling what was possibly a headache coming on. This was going to be an issue. 

….

“Would you just-just do as I say already?” The witch stomped her foot furiously, her hair wild from the amount of times she ran her hands through it in frustration. Lawrence eyed her unimpressively, before turning away and crossing his arms. At least he’d scared her bad enough to stop trying to order him around like some low level imp.

Four hours had passed since he’d been summoned here, and during those four hours, he’d tried every manipulation, trick and threat in his book to try and get her to get rid of the salt circle so he could leave. At this point, he was missing his weapon stash pocket, itching to just turn this crazy woman into a newly dead he could shove into a door to the Netherworld. Anything to stop her pathetic attempts to have him do her biddings. Speaking of…

“I beseech you, demon Beetlejuice! I have studied for years for the perfect demon to summon, for the perfect partner to advance my powers with, and I will not have you ruin it all because your a-a jerk!” Witch lady pulled at her blue hair yet again, shooting Lawrence all sorts of sharp daggers with her eyes. 

Lawrence wrinkled his nose. “Beseech me? Yeah, I dunno where you studied all that shit, but, uh, I don’t do witchy satan work,” he replied, mockingly wiggling his fingers at her. 

Lydia was gonna kill him for being gone so long, if he ever managed to get back home- Wait,  _ home _ ?

“Come on! Just a ritual or two, I’m not asking you to help me level a whole mall or anything, just something to help me advance my studies in the arcanic arts,” Witch lady whined. 

“No thanks, babes. I don’t do stuff for free, and especially when I’m annoyed. And you have definitely annoyed me. I mean seriously, salt circles infused with holy water? I am offended, I am insulted! I am a free range demon, baby!” Lawrence said, mimicking throwing long hair over his shoulder. 

Witch Lady rolled her eyes. “Yeah ok, sure. I’ll remember that next time I summon a demon and just let them melt my brains. Sounds like a real smart plan!” 

“It’s as smart as summoning a demon that doesn’t want to be summoned.” Lawrence hated the irony of this situation. Months ago he’d be jumping for joy at this opportunity, but now all he could think about was how he was gonna miss pranking Delia with his new sandworm tail hand trick, or replacing the sugar Lydia put in her coffee with onion powder. Sure, it was kind of lame, but those breathers were starting to mean a lot to him. Lydia didn’t need to worry about his dumbass, she had enough to worry about at her young age, and Delia would get this concerned, scrunched up look that made her look like she was about to cry when she was worried, and for some weird reason that made him panic and try to make her feel better. 

“Look I didn’t want to summon you either, but if you just help me, we can get this over with faster-“ 

Lawrence blew a raspberry, interrupting the witch lady. How dare she derail his train of thought! 

“Ugh! You are just impossible! You know what, fine, fine! I give up, I’ll just try some other demon. Time for you to go, Beetlejuice, back to whatever hell you crawled up from,” Witch lady finally threw her hands up in exasperation, and turned to retrieve her book. Lawrence quickly straightened up. 

“Finally, now just make a little space in this circle here and I- what are you doing?” Lawrence felt his stomach twist up as Witch lady began to open the book back up. 

“Unsummoning you? Duh?” Witch lady shot him a strange look. 

Unsummoning. He was gonna be unsummoned, which meant he’d head right back to the  _ Netherworld _ . Where  _ Mom  _ was. “Wait, wait, no! You can’t do that!” He nearly shrieked. 

Witch lady jumped and looked back up. “And why not? That’s what you wanted,” She asked, looking genuinely confused now. 

“Because I, er-“ He couldn’t very well tell her that if she unsummoned him he’d be sent right back to his abusive alcoholic mother, rather than back home to his sister and friends. She’d never believe something like that, even if it was the truth. And even if she did believe him, Lawrence wasn’t in the mind space to make the truth into some funny joke that he could pretend to not really care about, so this total stranger would just see him being  _ vulnerable  _ and  _ honest  _ with his feelings. Truly a fate worse than the one he was in at the moment. 

Hold on, did he call it home again, and…  _ friends _ ? 

Now was not the time to think about that! Think Beetlejuice, think! You’re a demon, you’ve been in worse situations. Just talk your way out of this, like usual! 

“There’s no need to be so dramatic and just unsummon me! So much hassle, you know? You don’t have to go through that whole ritual, all you gotta do is just smudge a little bit of this salt circle, and I’ll be gone!” He pointed to the ring for emphasis, putting on as much charm as he could manage. 

Witch lady did not look amused though. “But before that, you’ll chomp my face off. Or possess me to walk off the nearest bridge. Or whatever other horrible revenge plans you have in store for my mortal coil.” 

Damn, these breathers kept getting smarter. That’s fine, he can be smarter too. 

“Alright, alright a deal, that’s what we demons do. What’ll it take to not be unsummoned and just let go? Name your price, let’s bargain here,” Lawrence sighed. 

Witch lady considered him for a moment, before straightening up. “I want your word that you won’t hurt me.” 

“Okay…” 

“And I want you to teach me a ritual!” 

Lawrence looked her up and down, and noted that she was hiding a hand behind her back. Stupid breathers think they’re so slick these days… Really, crossing fingers? Everyone knew about that. 

“You wanna know a ritual? Fine. Fine! I’ll teach you something, and I won’t to hurt ya,” he rolled his eyes, mind working fast as it formed a plan. Don’t make promises you can’t keep. Get some paper, and write fast. 

Witch lady perked up. “Really?” She squeaked, eye glimmering with anticipation. 

“First things first. I need a piece of paper and something to write with,” he said, holding a hand out expectantly. 

Witch Lady gave a small hop and hurried away to some other room, before returning with the requested items. She eyed Lawrence suspiciously, before tossing him the pencil she’d grabbed. He easily caught it with a third arm, causing Witch lady to start in surprise. She took a moment to steel herself again, then carefully folded the piece of paper into a paper airplane and elegantly flew it to Lawrence. He spitefully hid the fact that he was slightly impressed by the speed of her folding. Lawrence then got to work. He had to be fast, before Witch Lady got suspicious. 

“So what is this ritual exactly? Is it a way to contact some sort of Higher Deity, ooh, or a recipe for an elixir of energy?” Witch Lady asked. 

“Hold your dick, I’m concentrating,” Lawrence groused. Damn, he couldn’t spell or write for shit when he was under a time limit. Hopefully Lydia could decipher his garbage note. 

“Who’s Skarecro?” A voice sounded behind him.

Lawrence’s eyes bulged out of his skull. How’d she get behind him so damn quietly? He quickly bit his finger, taking the tip off in his haste, and smeared the rune for item teleporting onto the back. ‘ _ Get to Lydia Deetz _ ’ he mentally ordered the paper and it vanished, leaving a scent of petrichor in its wake. 

“Hey! What was that? You promised to teach me a ritual!” Witch Lady cried. 

“And you crossed your fingers on your side of the bargain. Now we’re both assholes,” Lawrence snapped back. 

Witch Lady opened and closed her mouth fruitlessly, finger raised as she tried to think of a retort, until she finally gave up and threw her arms up into the air. “I need a smoke!” She huffed, grabbing what looked like a vape pen and stocked out of the room. 

Lawrence stuck his tongue out at her retrieving form, and finally sat down, pulling his knees up to his chest. “Please don’t leave me hanging, Lyds. I’m outta ideas here,” he muttered to himself, resting his forehead on his knees, focusing on the pulsing pain spreading out into his hand from his bleeding finger, rather than the pulsing fear growing in his chest. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I should probably say that next chapter doesn’t get better either (which works out weirdly well since it’s Friday the thirteenth). Oh yeah, this is an ARC baby, this is gonna be a thing for -checks notes- a FEW more chapters!  
> you can tell me how this makes you feel on tumblr [@daydreaming-jessi](https://daydreaming-jessi.tumblr.com/)


	14. The Girl Scout Law

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A familiar face emerges to help Lydia and Charles on their mission to save the demon-napped Beetlejuice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Posted March 20th, 2020, edited January 29th, 2021

It was starting to grow late in the day, nearing five pm, when Charles pulled up to the apartment complex Quagsod Villa. Lydia looked out through the car’s windshield to the beige building with a carefully put upon neutral face, but her eyes showed her deep anxiety. 

“This is it. Lawrence is here somewhere,” Charles let out a breath. 

Only a few hours earlier had the Maitlands and Deetz gathered together to try and figure out how to find Lawrence and help him. Delia and Lydia were in a near panic, the Maitlands were clueless as to who could’ve possibly known to take Lawrence away, leaving only Charles to be the calm and rational one, though that didn’t help much in figuring out what to do. There was no sign on the note to point out where he could’ve gone, and no traces in his room either. No matter how much his name was said, none of the Deetz could summon him back either, making matters all the worse. 

Adam gave everyone a fright when he raced to the bathroom, sliced his finger open with a razor blade, and then proceeded to draw on the mirror with his blood. Delia was about to get an emergency kit when Adam turned the sink on, where suddenly they were looking at the reflection of a woman Lydia and Charles recognized from the Netherworld. Her name was apparently Shyanne. 

She instantly blasted Adam about Lawrence, sounding nearly frantic. When they explained the note they got, Shyanne ran off to get two other people, the horse jockey girl that had been especially protective of Lydia in the Netherworld, Venetia, and of course the green skinned woman Miss Argentina, who’s real name was Maria. The two were able to tell the family that Lawrence was summoned to Quagsod Villa by one Leanne Juleherd, where he was probably trapped, seeing as no one could summon him back. 

“Whoever this is, they could be dangerous. They’re crazy enough to summon a demon, after all. You’ll need to be careful, I don’t think Juno will let you go if you wind up in the Netherworld again, actually dead this time,” Maria eyed Lydia and Charles knowingly. That was all the ghosts could provide, though. Unfortunately they didn’t know which apartment specifically Lawrence was summoned to, or how they could get him back. And so that was how Charles and Lydia ended up here. 

Barbara and Adam couldn’t go outside safely, and Delia reluctantly stayed back in case Lawrence got back home while Charles and Lydia went to go look for the demon, leaving the teen and father on their own to confront this demon summoning kidnapper. 

“So, who do we shake down to figure out where this Leanne Juleherd lives in this building?” Lydia asked, tearing her eyes away from the building to turn around and pull out Lawrence’s infamous dead zebra suit jacket from the backseats. She knew that Lawrence kept all sorts of things in the pockets of the jacket, and would probably need it in a hurry when they finally found him again. 

“We don’t ‘shake down’ anyone, unless we want to get kicked out of the building. There’s sure to be neighbors around that know what apartment number Leanne is in,” Charles replied, leaning forward in his seat to see if anyone else was around the parking lot. 

“Ugh, fine. Let’s get going, then.” Lydia hopped out the car, slinging the coat over her shoulders, hoping it would make her more intimidating to others, even if it did still have hints of it’s old rotting mildew stench. Charles got out after her and the two made their way through the parking lot to the seven floor building. 

At the front door entrance, Lydia turned to Charles as she grabbed the door handle, about to ask him something, when suddenly the door was thrown open, nearly throwing Lydia to the ground. 

“Oh!” 

“Lydia!” Charles caught Lydia before she could hit the pavement. The teen let out a breath of surprise and looked up, wondering what happened, when her eyes nearly popped out of her skull in surprise. Standing in the door was a familiar, blond pigtailed girl scout, decked out in the same uniform as that fateful day almost a year ago. 

“You…” Skye the Girl Scout blinked owlishly back at Lydia. 

“Skye, what the heck? You’re supposed to catch the customers attention, not bowl them over for it,” another Girl Scout elbowed the blond still standing in the doorway. 

Skye started, and quickly went to move. “I’m so sorry, Miss! I didn’t see you there,” Skye set her numerous boxes of cookies down to the side and checked Lydia over. 

“Er, i-it’s ok, really. Just an accident,” Lydia mumbled, feeling her cheeks start to heat up in embarrassment. 

“Hm, that’s… a nice coat,” Skye noted, staring at Lydia pointedly. The goth shifted uncomfortably, her ears burning now. 

“I’ll see you later, Skye. Try not to run anyone else over,” the other Girl Scout finally sighed, and headed off. 

“Well, uh, bye!” Lydia chirped upon seeing the chance of distraction, grabbing Charles’ coat sleeve and trying to drag him into the apartment building before it was too late. 

“Hold on!” Skye darted before Lydia, her dark eyes holding a determined fire now. 

“Er, Lydia, do you know her?” Charles asked, looking between his mortified daughter and the strange Girl Scout confusedly. Lydia let out a groan, burying her face into her hands. Why must the consequences of her actions come back  _ now _ ? 

“So your name is Lydia,” Skye murmured, her eyes still wide. 

“Yeah, um, hey again. You, uh, looks like you’ve gotten some more badges,” Lydia gestured halfheartedly to the sash now littered with more patches and badges. 

“Huh? Oh, yeah I did! So, um, where’s the other guy? The scary one?” Skye asked, looking around interestedly. 

Now Lydia was starting to get confused. Why wasn’t Skye acting more afraid? She just kept looking at Lydia for a moment, before quickly turning away and playing with her hair, looking more like a kid nervous about their crush rather than someone who should be scared out of their wits when faced with their cause of ptsd. 

“The scary guy?” Charles repeated, shooting Lydia a look. She grimaced and Charles closed his eyes and shook his head as he realized just how Lydia knew this child. 

“Yeah, the green haired guy! He was pretty bombastic. Is he your brother or something?” Skye continued, nearly twirling an entire pigtail around her finger. 

“Um, yeah. He’s my brother,” Lydia lied. Well, it wasn’t necessarily a lie, just an oversimplification of the truth. 

That was when Skye grinned, letting go of her hair and raising her fists up excitedly. “Oh my god, are you all demons too, then? That’s so cool! I mean, you were like really, really scary when I went to your house that first time, but like, wow! My heart never felt so jittery without it going wrong before, and you’re really pretty for a demon, and it was such a cool haunted house!” Skye squealed. 

Charles and Lydia stared at the girl. “You… thought it was cool how we chased you around the house?” Lydia asked slowly. 

“Yeah! My parents never let me go into those haunted house mazes and stuff because of my arrhythmia, so that was the first time I got to be properly scared and it was so cool! Better than any horror movie I’d snuck out to see before,” Skye replied, with a wide grin. 

“You have  _ arrhythmia _ ?” Charles sounded concerned. 

Skye waved that concern away. “Yeah but my heart is stronger than even I ever gave it credit for. Lydia and her brother scared the crap out of me and I was just fine! It was so fun, I couldn’t wait to see what would happen this cookie season when I went up to your guys’ house again,” she said, hoisting her cookie filled bag up to punctuate her point. 

“I… I’m glad you enjoyed the scare,” Lydia said, a smile starting to spread across her own face. 

“It was so cool! I’ve thought about it for ages after, and all the things you did seemed so impossible unless... You are demons aren’t you? It’s ok, I won’t tell anyone, cross my heart and hope to die,” Skye said quite seriously as she leaned in. Considering her condition, that seemed like something not to take lightly. 

“Well,” Lydia exchanged a look with Charles. He didn’t seem to approve, but Lydia didn’t see how it could hurt. Skye seemed like a harmless, bored kid, and her candor was starting to grow on Lydia. Besides, being a Girl Scout, Skye may be able to help the two. “My brother is a demon. I’m just a strange and unusual girl, he’s the one with all the spooky powers,” Lydia explained in a hushed tone. 

Skye gasped. “You’re so cool, how did you make a demon your brother?” 

Lydia chuckled. How indeed, though the truth of being a source of comfort for the lonely demon didn’t sound like it’d be interesting to a kid. “I have my ways. But someone has kidnapped him,” Lydia explained, glancing over to Charles. His eyes began to glean as he realized what Lydia was doing. 

“Indeed, some sort of foul witchcraft practicing demon-napper. Somewhere in this building, they’re keeping him locked up, and we need to go save him,” Charles said, flourishing into the dramatics he kept saved up for these moments. 

Skye gasped. “That’s terrible! How could someone be so cruel? Have you tried calling the police?” 

“There’s not really a police force for kidnapped demons,” Charles said. 

“Oh that’s true…” 

“But! We know who kidnapped him,” Lydia continued, jumping in before they could lose steam. 

“Who was it?” Skye clasped Lydia’s hands fiercely, her eyes glimmering protectively. 

“Someone called Leanne Juleherd,” Charles answered. 

“I know her! Bri and I just delivered a bunch of thin mints to her apartment! Oh I thought I smelled death in there, it was exactly like you and your place with that demon guy, you know? Oh it’s not a bad smell though, it’s like a graveyard when it rains. Er, I mean-“ Skye cut herself off with waving arms, blushing furiously. 

“But you know where this Juleherd person lives,” Lydia mercifully brought the conversation back to the point. 

Skye nodded, relief filling her face. “Yeah, I do! Follow me, I’ll take you guys there!” She picked the cookies back up and headed into the apartment building with a skip. 

“Should we really involve a random child with heart problems into this?” Charles looked over to Lydia with uncertainty. 

“We have to save Beej. The faster we do it, the better. Besides, she’s a Girl Scout. Those girls are surprisingly tough,” Lydia said with a nod. 

“Lydia,” Charles clasped his daughter’s shoulder before she could move. She looked up to him curiously. “Just… be careful. Like that Miss Argentina woman said, whoever this is that has summoned Lawrence, they could be dangerous. I don’t want you to get hurt.” A wrinkle creased Charles’ brow, concern etching his face. 

“I will be. I promise,” Lydia squeezed his hand reassuringly, “You just be careful too, Dad,” she added. 

Charles nodded, and they both turned and started after the awaiting Skye inside.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Skye and Lydia are both my daughters. And Skye has a bit of a puppy crush on Lydia, you know, the kind where you meet a really cool older kid and you’re like “Is this love or admiration?” and you just go “Yes” because you are a child that just wants to impress that cool older kid.  
> ALSO I CAN FINALLY POST [THIS](https://daydreaming-jessi.tumblr.com/post/613089657313443840/i-can-finally-post-this-now-that-the-latest) ONTO TUMBLR  
> Anyways you can talk to me about my new kids on tumblr [@daydreaming-jessi](https://daydreaming-jessi.tumblr.com/)


	15. Out of the Frying Pan, into the Fire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beej has a chat with his kidnapper while waiting for the Calvary to arrive. Then things go from bad to worse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally posted March 23rd, 2020, edited February 4th, 2021

Leanne carefully made her way from the kitchen to the living room. The demon, Beetlejuice, was still curled in on themselves, their hair a strange illuminating orange and purple. A part of her heart twinged, despite herself. This was a demon, and yet Leanne still felt bad that they seemed so despairing now. She glanced down to the bowls she was carrying and sighed through her nose. 

“Here,” she said, setting the second bowl of ramen she was carrying down, pushing it close enough to the demon for them to grab it. Slowly Beetlejuice lifted their head up and stared at the offering of food. 

“You’re… feeding a demon,” Beetlejuice said flatly. Leanne shrugged. 

“Well… yeah,” she didn’t really have any answer to the underlying why in the demon’s words. 

“You know you can’t poison me or the likes, right?” Beetlejuice asked, slowly picking the bowl up. 

“Why would I do that? You wouldn’t be able to teach me anything doubled over in pain,” Leanne replied simply, starting to slurp burning hot noodles down. 

The demon snorted, and started to pick at the food. “You’re really determined about this,” they noted, picking a steaming carrot slice out. 

“I’m going to learn a ritual. Whatever it takes, I’ll learn one,” Leanne said, her eyes narrowing. 

“Why do you care about this so much? Shouldn’t you be like, going out to bars to find a fuckbuddy or like, hanging out with fake friends? It’s Saturday night, you’re young and alive, why are you pathetically hanging out in your weird apartment with a bored demon like this?” Beetlejuice asked through a mouthful of noodles, spraying broth everywhere. 

Leanne winced, thinking about all the damage this summoning had done to her poor carpet. “Yeah well… I don’t do that. I’ve spent five years studying to be a witch, lost all my parents faith in me being a normal human being, and given up on all chances of a social life. I’ve come too far to stop now,” she stubbornly stabbed at a piece of beef in her ramen. 

“Ok so why rely on a demon to give you info? Can’t you just, I dunno, hit up another witch to be your mentor?” Beetlejuice looked actually curious now, their hair starting to lighten into a yellow. Who knew demons could be part mood rings. Leanne glared at her ramen, feeling her cheeks heat up. “Oh my god, did you scare other witches off by being too clingy?” There was laughter leaking out into Beetlejuice’s voice now. 

“No! I just…  _ couldn’t talk to them _ …” she muttered into her food. 

“Wow. You’re cool with summoning a demon but you can’t go out and talk to people who share your interests,” Beetlejuice deadpanned. 

“I am aware of how pathetic this is, ok? I wasn’t expecting you to be human honestly so this has been an endeavor for the both of us!” Leanne shot back. 

Beetlejuice stared at her flatly. Leanne let out a huff and focused on finishing her dinner, ignoring the demon now. Silence passed, but when Leanne looked up she saw that Beetlejuice had finished their food already. 

Glancing over to him, she noticed something dark dripping from their finger. Right, they bit it to do that note trick... “Does that hurt?” She asked, pointing to the injury. 

Beetlejuice started, as if they didn’t expect to be talked to again. They glanced down to their hand, and shrugged. “I’m dead. It’s whatever,” they replied. 

Leanne gave them an unbelieving look, before getting up and heading to her bathroom. She grabbed her emergency kit and brought it back out. Beetlejuice raised an eyebrow at her, before the roll of gauze she threw hit them in the face. “Ah! Hey!” They yelped. 

An alcohol wipe and ointment landed in their lap as they fumbled with the gauze. “Hope you know a good laundry place. Dunno how you’ll get those stains out of those clothes,” Leanne noted, sitting down on the couch once more, setting the medkit next to her and pulling her knees up to her chest. 

Beetlejuice shot her a glare, then looked down to the stuff they’d been given. “Your nice act isn’t gonna trick me into teaching you, you know,” they said, starting to tear open the wipe packet. 

Leanne rolled her eyes. “I’m just being nice to you. My parents taught me to have manners,” she replied. 

“Well, wasn’t that lovely of them? All my mother ever taught me was how to take a tequila shot,” Beetlejuice huffed, starting to dab at their finger. 

Leanne hummed in consolation, before the meat of the comment caught up to her. “Wh- you have a mom?” She straightened up in shock. 

“Wouldn’t it be weirder if I didn’t? I mean, everything comes from some form of beast with two backs, don’t they?” Beetlejuice cocked a brow with a smirk. 

“I mean… I guess that’s not wrong. Is… is that why you won’t teach me any rituals? Because your mom didn’t teach you any?” Leanne asked. 

Beetlejuice glared at her as they rolled their finger with the gauze. “Ok, first off, rude. I did that message rune just fine, you saw. I don’t want to help you because when I do ‘one’ spell, you’ll go all ‘clingy partner from a one night stand’ and want another rune, and then another, and pretty soon I’ll never be able to go ho- host another orgy,” their hair became flecked with pink. 

Leanne stared back, raising an eyebrow at how obvious that lie was. “Hm, so. What were you actually gonna say?” 

“Nothing. Dunno what you’re talking about. Fuck off.” Beetlejuice shoved the ramen bowl into their mouth and bit down with a stomach lurching crunch. 

Leanne winced at the loss of the bowl. She then crossed her arms and considered Beetlejuice’s words, trying to hide that the demon’s tactic affected her. “Look, I don’t want to keep you around. Keeping a demon is a dangerous business. I’d have to change my incense constantly and keep reapplying the protection rune for who knows how long. I’d rather not have Gugs or whatever else crawling around here looking for demons to munch on, you know?” 

“Gugs?” 

“Yeah, they’re this creepy thing that eats demons. Any book detailing about demons warns about them, among other things. But I can’t remember their ridiculous names right now,” Leanne explained. 

“Huh. Didn’t think any of the eldritch monstrosities out there had names, good to know what to scream if one ever decides to horribly maim me,” Beetlejuice hummed thoughtfully. 

“You’re welcome. Anyways, my point stands. I’m being honest when I say I only want to learn a single ritual from you, and then you’re free to go. I’ll unsummon you as soon as you teach me,” Leanne stood from the couch. 

That was when a knock sounded at the door. Leanne glanced over to the clock in surprise. It was about forty seven after five, who could that be? She looked back to Beetlejuice. “Just think about it, okay? I’ll be back,” she said before heading to the door. 

Carefully Leanne stepped around the table set up with the incense burner in the hall, noting that she should change it out soon. On her door was a rune painted with thick coats of indigo paint mixed with iron powder, and strangely enough, even though it was recently painted, it already looked weathered and peeling. She’d have to redo  _ that _ soon too, Leanne thought as she peeked out the peephole. 

Outside her door was a tall dark haired man with a well kempt beard, a teen girl wearing dark makeup and oversized black and white striped coat, and that Girl Scout from earlier. Leanne raised an eyebrow. Why was the Girl Scout back? Why were any of them here, in fact? 

Leanne opened the door carefully, keeping it open enough to quickly slam shut should something go wrong. “Can I help you?” She asked quizzically. 

The man smiled. “Hello, is there a Leanne Juleherd here?” He asked. He sounded like some sort of Shakesperian actor with how articulated he sounded. 

“Uh, depends. Did you need something?” Leanne studied them further. 

The teen girl stepped closer. “We need to talk to her, she may have-“

“LYDIA!” 

Leanne jumped when the demon’s voice reverberated through the hallway. The teen girl’s eyes widened, and she leapt forward, bulldozing past Leanne into the apartment with shocking strength for a girl her size. “Beej!” The teen yelled back. 

Leanne pulled herself up, seeing the three strangers heading for her living room, and saw that the incense burner had been knocked over. “Shit!” She gasped, and saw a flash of indigo on her hand. She looked back to her door, and she froze upon seeing the smeared wreckage of the warding rune. “Oh god, oh no, oh fuck!” She felt her body start to tremble. This was bad. 

In the living room, Lydia charged into Lawrence, throwing her arms around him in a rib crushing hug. “You dick! Couldn’t give us any address, just a note saying help and scaring the shit out of me!” Lydia’s voice was muffled by Lawrence’s shirt, which was stained with a few droplets of his dark blood. 

“Were you hurt?” Charles asked, eyeing the spots worriedly. 

“Eh. Just a little scrape. Now can someone break this goddamn salt circle so I can actually move around?” Lawrence glared at the white outline in the carpet, absently patting Lydia’s back. 

“Oh my gosh, salt really can stop demons… that’s so weird! I’ll have to pack some in case I ever run into any demons again. Girl Scouts should always be prepared,” Skye said with a nervous giggle. 

“Wait, is that Girl Scout? What’s she doing here? How is she here? And hold up, Chuck too? What is going on, I thought I was only gonna be rescued by Lyds,” Lawrence’s head swiveled to and fro in confusion. 

“Just focus on getting out of here, Beej, explanations later,” Lydia replied, stepping out of the way for Charles as he kicked a hole into the salt circle. 

“What have you done?” Leanne appeared from the hall, stood between them and the front door, but her pale face and trembling stopped the other four from moving. 

“We are leaving, and Beej is coming with us,“ Lydia moved to stand in front of Lawrence protectively. 

“Yeah, just because he’s a demon doesn’t mean you get away with kidnapping him!” Skye peeked out from behind Lydia, trying to copy the teen’s furious scowl. 

Leanne shook her head. “You don’t understand! It’s coming! It’s coming and we’re all fucked!” She was near hysterical in her ramblings. 

Charles and Lydia exchanged a confused look while Lawrence was still processing the surprise rescue team he’d, when Skye let out a scream, gaining everyone’s attention. They turned in time to see a dark grey mass bulging through the wall, scrabbling for purchase. It’s stench immediately filled the small apartment with the smell of rotting fish and iron blood,

The creature was almost human shaped, minus any head, or even a neck, and it’s torso was split right through the middle with what appeared to be a maw full of rows of sharp teeth. On the shoulders bulged out what were possibly eyes, maddeningly human yet animalistic, full of pure hunger. It’s limbs flexed and writhed unnaturally, bulging dark veins criss crossing its body. It’s arms seemed to split into two sets of hands, similar to crab pincers, but it seemed another set of razor sharp teeth filled jaws made up the split wrists, crawling up the forearm in a hideous grin. 

The creature gave a final heave and stumbled fully into the apartment. The eyes rolled for a moment before focusing forward, honing in on Lawrence, and it’s mouths cracked open, foul saliva starting to dribble out as a tongue darted behind its teeth, tasting the air. “Oh that is definitely an ‘I’m gonna eat you out’ look, and not one I’d enjoy or survive,” Lawrence gulped. 

“Get away from it!” Leanne yelled at them, but the creature darted forward at an inhuman speed before they could react. 

Charles grabbed blindly and leapt to the side, managing to pull Skye with him over the sofa. Lydia yelped, ducking away and tripping over a pile of books to the floor before her father could have grabbed her, and Leanne disappeared somewhere during the chaos. 

Lydia pushed herself up and saw Lawrence cornered by the monster, his hair white with terror. The monster reared its hands back, ready to strike forward. Lydia screamed out, shoving a hand into a pocket of Beej’s suit jacket, and ripped out whatever her fingers closed upon, launching a rock with glued on googly eyes at the back of the monster. The wide eyed rock hit its mark with surprising force, making the monster flinch from the rock’s velocity. It’s right shoulder eye focused in on Lydia, and she froze, stunned by the sheer otherworldliness she saw in its wild iris. 

“Lydia!” Charles cried, but she didn’t move. 

The monster leapt towards the teen, letting out a building trembling shriek, and finally Lydia moved. stumbling backwards, her eyes closing while she raised her arms to shield her face. A second ticked passed, and Lydia found herself surprisingly uneaten. 

She cracked open her eyes and saw black and white striped tentacles wrapped around the straining mouth monster. Lydia peeked around it to see Lawrence had sent the tentacles, his hair a blazing red that seemed to be  _ smoking _ , and an animalistic snarl on his face more ferocious than any he’s shot at a human he was trying to scare. “Not her,” Lawrence growled deeply between gritted teeth. 

The beast’s eyes focused back on him, and the monster changed direction before Lawrence could fully yelp “Oh shit”, and they both vanished through the wall and out of sight. 

“Lawrence!” Lydia shrieked, scrambling to her feet. She headed for the door, her mind whirling in a blind panic. She had to go help him, a fall from this height could kill him, what if she’s too late, what if his head was chomped off by that thing, what if-

Suddenly arms were clamped around her middle, stopping her in place. She immediately lashed out, kicking and screaming. “Lydia, wait!” Charles' voice cut through her fear and anger, and Lydia finally saw through the curtain of dread and tears fogging her vision. It was her father holding her back. “You can’t go after him, you need to stay here where it’s safe,” Charles said when he saw Lydia was listening. 

Lydia desperately shook her head no, tears starting to drip down her cheeks, pleas already falling from her mouth. 

“Listen to me!” Charles gently shook her shoulders to regain her attention. “I need you to stay here and look after Skye. I’ll go help Lawrence, okay?” His voice sounded as if this was nonnegotiable, but his eyes were begging, pleading. 

Lydia glanced to the side and saw Skye hunched over against the wall, struggling to properly breath, clutching a random book tightly to her chest. She looked so small, and alone… Lydia blinked the tears away. She had learned to trust her father. She had to believe that Charles could help Lawrence. “Ok,” she finally said, her voice still shaky. Charles gave her a strained smile. 

“That’s my girl,” he said, and pressed a bristly kiss to Lydia’s forehead. Then he was gone, banging through the apartment door, strangely smeared with blue paint. 

Lydia took a deep breath before moving to Skye’s side. “Skye, hey, it’s me. It’s ok, I’ve got you,” Lydia adopted the calm voice she’d heard Barbara use whenever the ghost comforted her, slinging the hideous jacket around the quaking Girl Scout and carefully holding her close. 

“M-my heart, i-it hurts, c-can’t breathe,” Skye sobbed. Lydia took one of the young girl’s hands, which Skye tightly squeezed back. 

“Hey, you survived the scariest haunted house of your life. This is nothing for you, just breathe with me Skye,” Lydia said. 

For a moment wheezes filled the air, but then, Skye sniffled, and looked up to Lydia with a small smile. “I did, didn’t I?” Her laugh was wet. 

Lydia nodded. “You’re a tough cookie, Skye.” 

Skye squeezed her eyes shut for a moment, before she took a deep breath. When she opened her eyes, they were filled with determination. “We gotta go help your brother!” Skye said, starting to get up. 

“Are you sure you can handle it?” Lydia asked dubiously. 

“A Girl Scout helps whenever she can, especially when a pretty girl is involved!” Skye set her jaw stubbornly, placing her fists in her hips, the book in the crook of her elbow. She was still pale, but she didn’t seem like anything could stop her now. 

Lydia smirked, and followed Skye’s example. “Alright, then let’s go after them.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember when Beej mentioned demon killers before? I did :)  
> Also!!! Thank you all for the love! Someone asked, and you all have all the permissions to make fanwork for this fic. So if you ever make me a gift for this fic or something else, you can tag at me at tumblr [@daydreaming-jessi](https://daydreaming-jessi.tumblr.com/) Just know that you WILL make me flood my apartment with tears of joy if you ever make me something ;w;


	16. Send in the Sandworms

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How are they gonna fight this beast off?? Will Charles’ day off ever end?? Beej just wants out of this crazy place. Hey what’s that in the sky?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yet again, I am here with a quick warning! There are mentions of bone breaking, some fighting, and other injuries, so viewer beware!  
> Posted March 27th, 2020, edited February 4th, 2021

Charles burst out into the parking lot from the apartment, eyes searching desperately for color changing hair and mind numbing monstrosities. Yells and shouts quickly grabbed his attention, and Charles hurried towards where he assumed was the source of the scuffles. Dread clawed at his stomach, all he could think was how close that thing came to even touching Lydia. It seemed that Lawrence kept on saving her life. Well, Lydia also seemed to get into danger  _ more  _ when the demon was around, but it seemed that wasn’t really anyone’s fault, just bad luck, unfortunately. 

Charles rounded the corner in time to see the young lady, Leanne, dumping a tray of water over the beast that had ran Lawrence out the apartment. It let out another garbled shriek, but there was another familiar voice that cried out with it. Charles' eyes widened when he saw a flash of vermillion and white hair. Lawrence’s throat was clamped between the hand jaws, his deathly gray skin was red with irritation where the water splashed him, and he’d sprouted a second pair of arms to try and help him scrabble out of the monster’s death grip. 

“Sorry!” Leanne panted to Lawrence, wincing at the quiet hissing of the holy water as it ate away at his corporeal flesh.

“Just get the fucker off!” Lawrence gurgled in response, desperately clawing at the hands trying to crush his windpipe.

“I’m trying!” Leanne smacked the gug helplessly with the empty pan. 

Charles started forward before he could reconsider his bad idea, and rammed his shoulder into the back of the gug. It croaked in surprise as Charles sent it tumbling to the ground. Lawrence stumbled away gasping, a hand reaching up and clamping onto the bite marks winding around his neck, trying to stifle the oozing green tinted black goo dripping out of the wounds. Charles placed a hand on one of the demon’s arms, protectively guiding Lawrence closer as Charles turned to Leanne. 

“What is that thing?” He asked through gritted teeth, struggling to keep his temper from lashing out. Leanne turned to Charles panting, one hand hanging limply at her side as it clutched onto the empty tray that once held the water she dumped over the creature, as the other tugged at her blue hair. 

“A gug, they eat demons and shit. I-I had protections set up but they got messed up and it must’ve been staked out here for a while, waiting for the perfect chance to strike. Oh god, how the hell do I stop this? Fuck, there are kids here, what do I do?” She sounded near hysterical. 

Charles gently moved his hand to Lawrence’s shoulder, noting the red in the demon’s hair was bleaching to white, and he was trembling, shrinking in on himself. “Lawrence, do you have any ideas on how to stop that thing?” Charles asked slowly. He knew that when Lydia got into a similar state that he had to be gentle, lest the other shut down further or lash out. 

Lawrence slowly shook his head, his eyes darting around desperately. “Don’t have my suit inventory, I’m a sitting duck out here,” he mumbled, raising a hand up to start chewing on his thumbnail. 

Charles partially cursed himself for forgetting that with Lydia before turning back to Leanne. “What was the water that hurt that thing?” 

“U-uh holy water. It weakened it, for sure. M-maybe I can…” she began to dig through her pockets, pulling out a few bottles containing some sort of powder and herbs. “Maybe that’s enough? It has to be enough. Ok. Ok! Stand behind me,” Leanne stepped in front of Charles and Lawrence as she began uncapping the bottles, stepping towards the heaving monster. 

“Some relaxing day off to unwind, huh Chuck?” Lawrence chuckled around the nail he was chewing, his voice thick with emotion. 

“Certainly would’ve preferred  _ any _ of Lydia’s ideas to this. Gonna need another day off to recover from this shit,” Charles said. Lawrence laughed humorlessly again, though his hair was starting to darken to its usual green now. 

Leanne began muttering strange words, Charles felt it may have been Latin. The gug pushed itself back to its feet, the eyes on its shoulders locking onto the young woman before it, making Leanne stutter, her body tensing as the otherworldly creature turned on her. But she squared her shoulders and continued on stronger, her hair starting to move as if there were a breeze, and she threw the fistful of the mixture she made into the air. The concoction of dust and leaves stood frozen in the air for a moment, then rocketed forward, slicing into the gug. It let out a gurgling scream, but it was still on its feet. 

“Oh come on, that worked! Goddammit, it’s supposed to be dying right now, die already you piece of shit!” Leanne swore. 

“Well that’s not working out so great, so let’s fall on the backup plan,” Lawrence said, starting to look more like he was regaining control. 

“And what’s the backup plan? I got nothing else on me!” Leanne gestured sporadically. 

“Well it’s simple really,” Lawrence ran a hand through his hair, seeming to push the white out out of the locks and replace it with its usual mossy green. He then looked back to the gug, set his jaw and snapped a finger. A wave of energy pushed through the air, and suddenly a black and white clad hand sprouted from the ground, stretching and snapping bones into place as it grew, and slammed down onto the gug. It uncharacteristically squeaked, and hissed at being shoved into the holy water soaked ground. 

“Someone go get my goddamn jacket so I can give this bitch a real fun time!” Lawrence growled, streaks of red starting to light up his hair. 

“Dad, Beej!” 

“Or Lyds can bring it here, that works too,” Lawrence added as they all looked back to see Lydia and Skye racing towards them. 

The gug let out a tremendous groan, saw the three were distracted, and struck out, slamming an arm against its restraint. A large crack filled the air, the striped arm disappeared and Lawrence let out a hoarse cry, one of the second pair of arms that had appeared on his back suddenly cracking in an unnatural direction. He stumbled, but Charles acted quick and kept the demon from falling all the way to the ground. 

The gug struggled up once more, it’s eyes an inferno of rage as it slowly staggered forward, advancing closer to the group. 

“My pocket, Deetz, my pocket!” Lawrence ground out. Lydia looked over to Skye, still wearing the jacket, and quickly delved a hand into one of the pockets. 

The gug was nearly on the adults struggling to pull Lawrence away, and it let out a chittering hiss. 

Lydia yanked her hand out of the pocket and stared in disbelief at the whistle she pulled out. “Seriously? Seriously?” She yelled at the jacket as if it were sentient and could understand the dire situation they were in. She glanced back to the scene and saw the gug starting to raise its hand towards her father and pseudo brother. “Fuck it, Skye get ready to help Dad and Beej get back to the building!” Lydia ordered, moving away from the young Girl Scout. 

“Wh- Lydia wait!” Skye said, realizing what the older teen was planning, but Lydia already was darting away, putting the whistle to her lips. A shrill shriek pierced the parking lot, attracting the hug’s attention, and time seemed to freeze for a moment. 

A shudder rolled through the atmosphere, and pebbles and trash began to float up, as if gravity had decided to step down a notch. The sunset in the sky wavered, when a rip began to split through it. A green and black swirling hole began to stretch open, and a black and white striped beast slithered through. A sandworm settled on the ground, stretching kinks out, and cracking its false maw open to reveal the white, magenta speckled true head inside. It’s red pupils took in the scene, staring at Lawrence for a long second before zeroing in on the now frozen gug. A snarl twisted the sandworm’s cyan lips, and it let out a hiss that shook through the ground like an earthquake. 

The gug warbled in horror and darted forward, intent on grabbing Lawrence and running, but the sandworm struck faster. It coiled protectively around Charles, Lawrence and Leanne with ease, and crunched its pearl white teeth into the gray body of the much smaller gug. The gug let out a soul shattering shriek, writhing and twisting in tendon snapping desperation. The sandworm simply bit down again, harder, magenta tinged saliva starting to dribble around from the gug onto the ground with a hiss. 

The gug’s body became sluggish, twitching less and less, sagging in the sandworm’s mouth, until finally it slumped lifeless. The sandworm spat the dead beast out onto the asphalt, and the gug tumbled over. Slowly a hiss breathed out of its body, beginning to melt into a pile of black goo. Lydia gagged, remembering distantly that when she killed Lawrence after he came to life, his corpse had done the same. The goo sank into the ground and disappeared, not even leaving a stain, just as Lawrence’s did. 

For a moment, the parking lot was silent. Then Skye tackle-hugged Lydia. “Why did you do that? That was stupid!” The young girl cried into Lydia’s black dress. The teen patted the Girl Scout’s back. 

“Sorry, it was all I could think to do,” she replied, guiding Skye towards the adults. 

Charles helped Lawrence to sit on the ground while Leanne gawked at the sandworm in awe. The sandworm curled close to Lawrence, chuffing at the demon and letting out a series of purrs that seemed uncharacteristic of the creature they came from, but no one could really say what were natural sandworm sounds. Lawrence let out a loud groan, letting his head fall back and rested carefully against the black and white hide of the sandworm. 

“Hey Sandy. Thanks for coming and saving our asses again,” he huffed. The sandworm rumbled and gently nuzzled the demon. 

“You guys okay?” Lydia asked when she and Skye reached them. 

“Other than severely traumatized again, just peachy. Lawrence however, may need a hospital, though I don’t know how we’ll manage that, considering he’s dead,” Charles replied, still crouched close to the demon to look at the crumbled third arm hanging limply from his back. 

“You,” Lydia turned to Leanne with fiery eyes, Skye adding her own scowl to the teen’s, though it wasn’t quite as effective yet. Leanne started, taking a quick skip back. “You got my brother hurt. You fix him,” Lydia ordered. 

“Wh- This-! I just wanted to learn some rituals! This,” Leanne gestured to the area around them, “wouldn’t have happened if you hadn’t burst into my home and ruined my protection wards!” 

“Well we wouldn’t have had to do that if you hadn’t kidnapped Lydia’s brother!” Skye countered quickly. 

“That demon is not any human’s brother! And I didn’t kidnap him, I summoned him! And I would've unsummoned him if he had just taught me a goddamn ritual!” Leanne threw her hands up in frustration. 

“Unsummoning him would’ve been bad, Beej doesn’t live in the Netherworld, he lives with me and our family at our home! And we will take him back home once you fix him,” Lydia replied, stepping closer to the witch. 

Leanne rubbed her temples, taking a calming breath before speaking again. “Look, I feel bad he got hurt, I do. And there’s… a lot of stuff happening here that I apparently don’t know about, but I don’t know how to magically fix him, that’s kind of why I summoned him in the first place! So I could learn how to do that kind of stuff!” 

“Er, Lydia? I don’t think we need anyone to fix Lawrence, actually,” Charles cut through the argument. The three girls looked over to see Sandy had coiled closer around Lawrence and was now humming. Slowly, as her hums passed through the air, Lawrence’s wounds began to knit shut, to everyone’s amazement. 

“She can do that?” Lydia gasped. 

“I guess?” Lawrence’s eyebrows rose into his hairline. 

“What do you mean you guess? You’re the one that knows about sandworms!” Lydia shot at him. 

“I know about  _ a  _ sandworm, this one, and how I managed to ride her to earth to eat Mom. I do not know all the biological factors of a sandworm,” Lawrence replied. 

Sandy huffed crossly at the two, her breath smelling of sand and ozone. There remained a slight scar around Beej’s neck from the gug bite, his clothes were stained and tattered beyond hope, and he still held his third arm gingerly, but he no longer looked to be on the brink of passing out. 

“What is this thing?” Skye’s eyes were about to pop out of her skull, they were so wide open. Sandy slowly moved towards the young girl, pulling her false head further back as she flicked a striped tongue out similarly to a scenting snake as she examined Skye. The Girl Scout slowly put a hand out, and Sandy gently pressed her giant, white cheek onto Skye’s offered palm. Skye giggled almost manically as she began to stroke the sandworm’s warm, thick skin. 

“This is a sandworm. They live on Saturn,” Lydia explained with a slight smile. She reached out as well and gave Sandy’s chin a scratch. The sandworm purred, the vibrations rushing through the girls’ arms. 

“This is the second best day ever,” Skye stage whispered. 

“Only second best?” Lydia smirked. 

“First is meeting you, because if I didn’t, I’d have never had this second best day,” Skye explained, staring in awe as Sandy allowed her to run her hands over the magenta freckles dotting the sandworm’s snout. 

“How did you tame a sandworm? They try to eat everything ghost related,” Leanne looked over to Lawrence, struggling to hide that she was impressed. 

Lawrence, still sitting on the asphalt next to Charles, shrugged, before wincing at the movement. “Dunno, guess I was too busy trying to get back to earth to think about it. I just sank into my inner cowboy and just,” he clutched a hand, “rode with the wind,” he finished, closing his eyes dramatically. 

“I see,” Leanne replied flatly. 

“Well, this has certainly been an experience, but that’s enough chit chat. Delia and the Maitlands are going to be worried sick, Skye should go home to her parents and Sandy should go back to wherever, er, she came from,” Charles clasped his hands together, bringing everyone’s attention back to the point. 

“No, no! You still owe me a ritual, I summoned you! A deal’s a deal, Beetlejuice, you should know that,” Leanne quickly fired. 

Lawrence shot her a glare. “How about I leave you un-stabbed instead? Seems like a good enough deal,” He asked, baring his sharp teeth. 

Leanne shook her head unfazed. “I’ve worked for years, lost hours of sleep, and I also saved your ass from being gug meat! So, you owe me!” 

“That’s not how that works!” Beetlejuice cried petulantly. 

“If Beej doesn’t want to teach you some dumb ritual then he doesn’t have to. He doesn’t owe you anything,” Lydia scowled at the older woman, moving to stand between the witch and Lawrence. 

“Oh on the contrary. He… he can’t leave this property until our contract is fulfilled!” Leanne snapped before pointing to Lawrence triumphantly. 

Lawrence groaned, running a hand over his face. “Oh fuck, I forgot about that.” 

“One ritual! Then you can go!” Leanne said. 

“That’s-! You can’t just-!” Lydia looked ready to feed Leanne to Sandy when Charles stepped in. 

“Lawrence. Do you want to teach Miss Juleherd a ritual,” he said, looking to the demon calmly. 

“No Chuck, I just wanna go back home and collapse for seventy-three hours,” Beetlejuice groused. 

“Very well. Miss Juleherd, please. Lawrence has been injured, taken from his home against his will, and has made it clear that he does not to teach you. I know this is important to you, but Lawrence is important to us. Won’t you please let him go home and find another way to learn these rituals you need on your own?” Charles asked calmly. 

Leanne glanced between the four, chewing on her lip desperately. “I… I can’t… I…” She lingered on Lydia and Lawrence, the teen hovering protectively next to the demon. Leanne’s shoulders slumped down, and she sighed. “Ugh. Fine. Fine! I’ll… I’ll try another way. This has gone all sort of wrong, after all, so I might as well just wash my hands of this whole ordeal now, before something  _ else _ happens. Just…  _ go _ .” The air shimmered between Leanne and Lawrence, somewhere a paper was ripped, and Lawrence realized the weight clamping his forsaken soul to this apartment complex was now lifted. 

“Thank you,” Charles said to Leanne. 

“Dad, don’t thank her!” Lydia elbowed her father. 

“Yeah, way to make a guy feel like you wanted him out of the house,” Lawrence said dryly. 

“That’s the furthest thing from, Lawrence. I’m just glad this could be done without any more drama, and that we’re all safe,” Charles looked between Lydia and Lawrence with relief. 

Lawrence blinked and quickly glanced away, his hair shuddering between colors, and he started to pick at the bandage around his finger. 

“There is one thing still. How did you figure out how to summon Beej?” Lydia looked back to Leanne suspiciously. 

The young woman shoved her hands into her pocket. “Found the summoning spell for him in a book at the library. Oh. That one, in fact,” Leanne pointed to the book Skye had picked up and somehow kept a hold of under her arm in all the chaos. 

Everyone looked at the book curiously and Skye held it up to examine it more closely. It’s cover was slightly tattered, it’s visible pages crusty yellow.  _ Forbidden Knowledge of a Dæmonic Kind _ was stamped across the cover in fading, golden letters. “ _ That _ was in a library,” Charles said disbelievingly. 

“You’d be surprised at what books libraries get when not spied on by the fbi,” Leanne replied nonchalantly. 

“Is this book overdue?” Skye peeked inside the cover curiously. 

Leanne laughed nervously, snatching the book away from the Girl Scout, “Little life lesson for you, little girl. If we don’t acknowledge the great shames we have in our life, they don’t exist.” 

“You found Beej’s name in that book? But he’s been erased from human history for centuries,” Lydia said, Lawrence nodding in confirmation. 

Leanne shrugged, carefully brushing the book’s cover off. “Dunno what to tell you. All I can say is that this book told me how to summon the demon Beetlejuice and how to lock demons in place so they don’t hurt you, among other things.” 

Lydia took the book from Leanne, flipping through until she found the right page, where sprawling calligraphy scrawled out about Lawrence. Her eyebrows furrowed, and she looked quite unsettled by this. “This wasn’t even made with the same paper as the rest of the book,” she noted, tugging on it slightly. 

Skye looked over her shoulder to look at the right page. “It has a different font as well. Whatever this is, it wasn’t naturally in here,” she agreed. 

“We can figure that out at home, I believe Delia will bury us all in the basement if we let her worry about us much longer. Er, will you be alright going home alone Skye?” Charles cut in, looking to the young girl in concern. 

Skye brightened. “Oh yeah! My home is right down the street, it’ll take five minutes tops,” Skye replied. 

Charles still narrowed his eyes, unsure of the wisdom of letting a young girl walk alone on the streets so close to night. “I’ll walk Skye home,” Lydia said. 

“And then let  _ you _ walk back here alone?” Charles didn’t look reassured. 

“You think anyone could take Lyds on? When she’s stabbed a man already? Just let them take Sandy with if you’re so worried, she’ll keep them safe,” Lawrence smirked. 

“A sandworm does make for a pretty good guardian,” Leanne agreed, glancing up to the worm. 

“How is Sandy going to fit down the street conspicuously-“ Charles began, but Sandy let out a breath, the air popped, and suddenly Lydia had a medium snake sized sandworm wrapped around her shoulders, smugly flicking her tongue out. 

“That is  _ so cool _ ,” Skye gaped. 

“I’ll be back. Come on Skye,” Lydia headed off, as if this were completely natural and she wasn't just as gobsmacked as everyone else, with Skye skipping right after. 

Charles shook his head with an exhausted sigh, and turned to Leanne. “Well, it was interesting to meet you, Miss Juleherd. Have a good night.” 

“Aha, I suppose I should say the same. Uh, good luck with... living with a demon…” Leanne looked between Charles and Lawrence oddly. 

Lawrence flipped Leanne off. “Don’t call me again, this was not fun,” he said. 

Leanne cocked her head, and smirked. “Yeah, believe me, I’ve gotten… way more than I intended from this... Goodbye, Beetlejuice. Good luck with those orgies you host,” Leanne turned and headed for the apartment. Lawrence flinched at the witch’s tease, and spat a raspberry at her retreating form to hide his embarrassment. 

“Well this was a very strange experience. Does this happen a lot with you?” Charles asked when she was gone, digging his car keys out. 

Lawrence threw his head back and laughed. “You think I would’ve wrecked your house before if I got summoned like this so easily?” He grinned. 

Charles hummed an “I suppose not” and started towards the car. 

“... suppose not… that’s. That’s really all you have to say about all this?” Lawrence asked. 

Charles paused, and looked back, seeing that Lawrence hadn’t moved an inch. “Excuse me?” 

Lawrence chuckled bitterly. “I’m still lost here, Chuck. Why did  _ you _ come help me? Why not just let me disappear from your life forever? This would’ve been the perfect opportunity to get the creep out of your house and away from your family,” His hair started to darken, though it was hard to tell the actual color in the disappearing sun. 

Charles’ brow crinkled in confusion. “What are you talking about, Lawrence? Why would I do that?” 

“Oh I dunno, because I threw you out of your house, scared and threatened you and your fiancé countless times, and, oh, tried to marry your teenage daughter. Any of those a good enough reason, Chuck?” 

With Lawrence stood before Charles, he now noticed the slight tremble running through the demon. “I won’t be angry like you want me to. I’ve had enough of being angry in life,” Charles sighed. 

Lawrence stiffened up. “This isn’t-this ain’t something I  _ want _ , Chuck. I just… I don’t get it. You of all people should be so  _ pissed _ at me, but you’re not? You can’t have forgiven me. You of all people, I… why aren’t you  _ mad _ at me?” His shoulders were starting to heave. 

“Are you sure this is something you want to talk about right now? After everything that’s happened, I think this isn’t-“ Charles took a step back towards Lawrence. 

“Stop pretending to be nice to me and just admit you hate me so I can have a reason to be scared shitless of you!” Foam dropped down Lawrence’s chin. 

The tension hung thick in the empty parking lot. Charles was quiet for a long moment, watching as Lawrence struggled to control his breathing again. “Once, I was angry at you. Anyone would be. You did some terrible things. But,” Charles took a deep breath, “Lydia told me that she was…. contemplating suicide when she found out about Delia and I. She felt abandoned, empty, invisible. She didn’t know why she should keep living anymore. But…” Charles looked up to Lawrence with suspiciously shiny eyes. “Then she made a friend who started to change her mind.”

Lawrence started, taken aback by that. 

Charles’ words had a memory tickle at the back of Lawrence’s mind. It was a day after they’d torn the dinner party apart. He’d finished messing around with the furniture until it was to his liking, and went to go brag about it to Lydia when he found her sitting in the hall, staring listlessly at the wall. He tried to joke with her, but she only gave half hearted mumbling responses. “Hey, c’mon. We got Daddy outta here, why so glum still?” He asked, popping his head off and almost placing it in her lap to look Lydia in the eye. 

The girl jumped a little, still unused to his antics at that point, but she stayed strong and moved along. “I know but… but what’s the point? He… he still won’t say… my life is still screwed up even if he’s gone,” Lydia said. 

Lawrence’s lips twisted, as if he’d tasted a sour lemon. “You know what? I’ll help you out again. You want a new life that’s not screwed up? How about I make you a genuine scarer then? Give people all the creeps and squeaks! People screw your life up? Then you screw theirs right back! C’mon!” Lawrence plopped his head back on and pulled Lydia up to her feet, tugging her to the foyer. 

“What are you talking about?” Lydia tugged her arm out of his grip. 

“I’m making you a scarer, it’s what all bio-exorcists need when kicking breathers out of a ghost’s place, and since I’m still hired here technically, you can help me with the job of keeping breathers out of here. Take control of your life and take your teen angst out on the breathers that stop by, how about it?” Lawrence grinned at her. 

Lydia considered this. “How do we start..?” She asked carefully, trying to hide her curiosity. 

Lawrence’s grin became evil. “How ‘bout we start by ordering a package?” 

Lydia stared at him for a long moment, her eyes starting to gain a light to them. Then she began to struggle to hold back her laughter, doubling over as she muffled laughs with her hand. “Ok, let’s see what evil scheme you have for ordering a package. I’m sure Dad’s left a credit card somewhere around here,” she was grinning now, turning to go look for whatever a credit card was. Lawrence grinned proudly, happy to see his bfffff no longer in such a dour mood and followed her. 

It was such a dumb, small moment. He didn’t even know Lydia that well yet, she was just the clever girl that seemed like an actually fun person to hang out with. He didn’t yet know that he’d eventually see her as a sister. He didn’t know until now that she considered him a part of her process of getting through her grief and depression. 

“Lydia wanted to talk about you and the Netherworld and everything that's happened, and I knew better than any other that hiding from uncomfortable talks doesn’t work, so I let her talk to me about it,” Charles broke Lawrence from his stupor, “And I realized that while you had done some terrible things, you’d also done good things. So when Lydia asked us to give you a second chance, after you saved her life for the third time, I decided to try it. I trusted her, and I decided to see this nice demon friend she talked about, that made her laugh after months of silence, that helped make her happy for the first time in who knows how long. I don’t hate you Lawrence. That’s the honest truth. I’ve seen you save my daughter four times now, at your own risk. I don’t know you still, not exactly, and I’d like to. I’d also like for you to not have to be scared of me, that doesn’t seem like a healthy way to live. So, rather than jump to conclusions, how about we trust each other for once?” Charles smiled, not one of those cheesy fake salesperson smiles, but one that crinkled his eyes and lifted his beard up. He had Lydia’s smile. Or, Lawrence supposed Lydia had Charles’ smile

Lawrence fidgeted, flexing his hands. He looked Charles over again, and shoved his hands into his pockets. He’d taken worse risks, hadn’t he? “Yeah… yeah ok, Chuck. I guess… I guess it never hurts to try, right? Not like I can die a second time or something,” Lawrence huffed, a halfhearted try at a nonchalant chuckle. 

“Believe me, I’ve had enough death in life. Now I should probably call Delia and let her know we’re all still alive, lest she kill us. You should probably say hi, too. She’s been worried sick about you,” Charles added, heading for the car. 

Lawrence snorted. “What, she doesn’t want to lose my knife skills? Can’t blame her, she sucks at chopping shit up.” 

“Yes, that's exactly why she’s worried about you, not because she cares about you or anything,” Charles rolled his eyes, another thing Lydia seemed to have copied over the years. 

Lawrence glanced back to the apartments one last time. How far he’d come, begging for a rescue when he’d been summoned, considering the Deetz-Maitland household a home now, actually trusting breathers for once… When did he get so soft? Lawrence shook his head, deciding he’d done enough contemplating his emotional baggage for one night, and tucked that mess away for later. Instead, he started after Charles to the car, looking forward to just sitting down and letting his aching third arm rest. 

….

“-just can’t believe that ghosts exist! I’d alway kind of wondered about death, you know? But I didn’t really think it was possible to be a ghost! And that I could be eaten by anyone! But it’s hard to think that Sandy would ever eat me, she’s just so cute, like, look at her! Aw!” Skye chattered next to Lydia, wiggling a finger at the sandworm. Sandy flickered a tongue at the Girl Scout in reply. “So… I guess this could be the last time I see you, huh?” Skye asked, her voice starting to drop. 

Lydia looked over to her curiously. “I mean, if you want. I dunno how interesting it would be for you to hang out with a boring old teenager,” she replied with a shrug, careful of jostling Sandy. 

“Are you kidding? You’re one of the coolest people I know! My life is just bleh! The only fun I have is with the Girl Scouts, and even then my parents would freak if I didn’t have someone supervising me and keeping me from the really cool badges I want to earn,” Skye said earnestly. 

“Really? What kind of badges do you want to earn?” Lydia asked amusedly. 

“Well I’d love to earn a camping badge, not the cabin camping one, but the real actual outdoor camping one with fires and tents! And geocaching! Oh that one sounds so fun! And horseback riding, and archery! Oh my god, I would love to learn archery. I like learning about computer programming, don’t get me wrong, but I also want to know which berries are safe to eat and which are poisonous, and how to ride a horse valiantly through the wind. But my parents get so worried about my arrhythmia, and I just want to scream sometimes! ‘Hey, I’m more than my heart you know! I have some thoughts about my life too!’ It’s hard, cause I know they mean well, but I’m so tired of being scared of life. I want to get out there, start being a person!” Skye ranted. 

Lydia nodded slowly as she listened. Her dad had been quite protective when she was younger, Mom had to get him to ease up, but she couldn’t imagine having to deal with that from both parents and with a helping of health problems to top it off. “Well, seems like you got some interesting time away finally,” Lydia noted. Skye nodded slowly, then her eyes began to gleam when they stopped before what Lydia assumed was her home. 

“Maybe we can hang out when I go selling cookies in your neighborhood again? You don’t have to, but, it’d be pretty cool, you know?” Skye sounded so hopeful, Lydia would feel bad if she said no. 

“Well… alright. Maybe I can convince Beej to come along and we can fuck with some of your customers,” Lydia grinned. 

Skye’s smile was probably a billion watts bright as she handed Beej’s jacket back to Lydia, who careful slung it over the shoulder Sandy wasn’t resting her head on. “That sounds so cool! Oh I love the idea of that! And Sandy could come too, and-“ 

“Skye Costiuer, you have set the parents  _ off _ ,” a familiar voice rang out from the door. Lydia glanced over and froze. 

Standing on the sidewalk was bleached blond haired Cast, staring right back at Lydia with an unreadable expression. “Oh, shoot! Are they super worried?” Skye asked, not noticing Lydia freezing up next to her. 

Cast slowly blinked. “I managed to keep them from blowing up into Armageddon, but you better head inside and tell them you’re still alive yourself,” she said. 

“Okay. Thank you for walking me home Lydia. See you later.” Skye almost knocked Lydia over with another hug, which Lydia clumsily returned, trying not to stare at the still watching Cast. Skye gave Sandy a wave and raced away inside her house. 

Lydia and Cast stared each other down. Lydia could hear the wind blowing a few pieces of trash along the street behind her. Eventually, Cast leaned back and crossed her arms. 

“So, you’re the cool girl Skye has a crush on,” Cast noted, pursing her lips. 

Lydia rocked back and forth on her heels. “I guess.” 

Cast hummed awkwardly. “You, uh. Wanna tell me how your, ah, ‘brother’ did that spider trick?” 

Lydia looked down to her boots and scuffed it along the sidewalk stubbornly. 

Cast sighed. “Look. I think we got off on the wrong foot, and… I’m sorry. I was rude to you, and Darrin was being a total idiot about your house. He just… I dunno, likes weird history stuff right now? Especially when there’s paranormal stories involved. Anyways, I was already having a bad day that day, and was a total bitch took it out on you.” 

Lydia blinked. This wasn’t heading where she thought it was. “You’re apologizing?” 

“Well, yeah. Just because I was having a hard time doesn’t mean I get to take it on you or other people. And sorry I was snappy to your brother. But to be honest, he was giving me major creep vibes and I didn’t want to read the next day that you really were being kidnapped by him and murdered in the woods.” 

Lydia stifled her laughter. “That’s a fair thought to have, he does not look trustworthy. I…. thanks. I kind of thought you hated me before I even got to school and would have to deal with that.” 

“Oh god, that’s a middle school mood. New to school and already hated by a bunch of strangers for no reason. But yeah, I was a bitch to you. I struggle with that sometimes and the others have to call me out on that shit sometimes. I guess it was kind of fair of your brother to scare the snot out of us for that,” Cast chuckled. 

Lydia smirked, looking back to the ground thoughtfully. “I’m surprised I didn’t think you were Skye’s sister when we met,” she noted, glancing over to the house again. 

“Well that’s probably because I’m adopted, and not actually related to her,” Cast smirked. 

“Ah.” Lydia felt the strongest desire to join her mother in the ground at that moment, “Sorry, I shouldn’t have assumed.” She internally cursed her unthinking mouth once again. 

“It’s ok. People think that all the time with my bleached hair. I don’t mind it, actually. Skye’s a cool kid. Super gay, too, like, wow she talks about you a lot. I was kind of worried for a minute, but I’m gonna assume you won’t take advantage of her,” Cast said. 

“Nah, she’s sweet. I feel a sort of need to mentor her, in fact. From a young gay goody two shoes into a gay anarchic rebel,” Lydia agreed. 

Cast laughed finally, “Okay, maybe you are almost as cool as Skye says you are.” 

“I’m just a strange and unusual girl trying to make it out here in the world. I suppose I’ll see you around then,” Lydia inclined her head. 

“Maybe so. Good night, strange and unusual goth girl,” Cast turned away, heading back to the unassuming house. 

Lydia started back down the sidewalk. Sandy let out a comfortable hiss as she settled further under Beej’s jacket. “You know Sandy, you should stick around. Things seem to be more interesting here than I thought,” Lydia noted to the sandworm, who purred back in response. “Course, that might make Dad and Stepmom a little freaked out. But I think Adam would love it. He loves snakes, has all kinds of snake care stuff in the attic. How do you feel about sunlamps?” 

The car was idling in the parking lot when Lydia came back, but she saw her dad leaning on the trunk of the car with Lawrence also sat on it, staring wide eyed at the phone Charles was holding. Lydia could start to hear Delia’s relieved voice as she moved closer. 

“-thank god they found you! I was trying to think of who we could possibly call all afternoon. A priest? A-a demon cop? You were lucky that Adam knew how to contact the Netherworld, or we would’ve never found you! Next time don’t be so cryptic with your notes!” Delia scolded. 

“Sure thing, D. I’ll make sure to ask for the address next time I’m kidnapped,” Lawrence rolled his eyes. 

“Don’t you sass me! It’s been a very stressful day and I think I deserve a little slack here. The vibes are all out of joint in this house now, I’ll have you know,” Delia said. 

“Looks like Lydia’s back. We’ll make our way home now,” Charles said quickly before Beej could sass Delia some more. 

“Hi Stepmom,” Lydia greeted. 

“Oh thank the universe! I almost lost it on your father when he said he let you go off alone,” Delia heaved a sigh of relief. 

“She wasn’t alone, she had Lil’ Sandy with her. Safest she’d ever be,” Lawrence snorted. 

“I’m still upset. So you all better get home now. Adam and Barbara have had no idea what to do with themselves either, and I think they’ll need a hug soon too,” Delia added. 

“We’ll be there in fifteen minutes, hun. See you soon,” Charles said. 

“Bye Stepmom,” Lydia added, before elbowing Beej. He glanced at her confusedly, then at Charles who was also looking at him expectantly. 

“Uh, bye D,” Beej said slowly. 

“See you all soon,” Delia said. 

“Now, what do we do about… this?” Charles asked, gesturing to Sandy. 

“What? Sandy’s fine,” Lydia replied. 

“We are not keeping a sandworm,” Charles said instantly. 

“What? Why not?” Beej grinned. 

“Yeah, come on Dad. We could use a guard worm,” Lydia scratched Sandy’s chin. 

“What do sandworms even eat besides ghosts, like the two we have living with us in our home?” Charles asked pointedly. 

“Sandy won’t eat them, she likes the boring sexy types, just like me. She’s still pretty full from chomping on Ma’s energy, so she probably won’t feed for another couple decades,” Beej waved the concern away. 

“I don’t know, do any of us really know how to take care of a sandworm?” Charles looked unsure still. 

“It’ll be fine, Dad. If Sandy needs something, she’ll tell us. She’s smarter than Beej,” Lydia said, Beej protesting with a “hey!” 

“You’ll have to make sure Delia and the Maitlands are fine with it before anything’s settled, they’d have to live with Sandy too,” Charles sighed. 

“Hell yeah,” Lydia smirked. 

“Lil Sandy is in the house!” Beej cackled. Sandy simply flickered her tongue out again, giving Charles a sandworm smile, looking pleased as punch around Lydia’s shoulders. Charles shook his head, already feeling that he was going to regret this. 

Though, probably not for the reasons he was thinking. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TCHAHGI MADE [FANART](https://tchaugi.tumblr.com/post/613417678628159488/here-some-little-doodles-of-daydreaming-jessi) FOR THE FIC AND I AM SO GRATEFUL TO THEM ITS SO CUTE CHECK IT OUT.  
> Also. If you’re wondering, yes that bit Beej did with his hair was inspired by the comic [fablegate](https://fablegate.tumblr.com/post/188870739049/its-show-time) made :3  
> It seems that some people weren’t aware, but the gug IS a real monster, it’s from the lovecraftian universe along with shoggoths. Yeah I’m hoping to bring some lovecraft and junji ito horrors to this story :3  
> Could it be, is that...?  
> IT IS  
> SANDY!!!!!!!!  
> AND I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU-  
> You can come celebrate her appearance on my tumblr with me [@daydreaming-jessi](https://daydreaming-jessi.tumblr.com/)


	17. There You Are

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We’re finally home. Time to assess the damage. The Deetz and Maitlands are very relieved. Beej still doesn’t get these breathers. The Maitlands help him clean up, and he is S U F F E R I N G. Then it’s time he made a call.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally posted April 3rd, 2020. Edited February 11th, 2021

“I was so worried! I’m glad you’re ok!” Delia threw her arms around a  _ very  _ startled Lawrence when the four finally stepped into the house, shutting the dark evening out behind them. 

Lawrence slowly and awkwardly patted Delia back, before grunting in pain when he pulled on his third arm, making Delia take a quick step back and look him over worriedly. 

“Oh jeez, is it still broken?” Lydia asked, looking at his third arm. 

“‘S sore, still. Sandy did the best she could, but broken bones are bitches to fix. Know  _ that _ from experience,” Lawrence huffed. 

Sandy hissed sadly from Lydia’s shoulder, and Delia startled upon seeing the sandworm. “Oh, jeez, what?” 

“Say hi to Sandy, Stepmom. She ate Juno, remember?” Lydia asked. 

“Right, it’s just that she wasn’t so… small before. I see you’ve lost weight,” Delia said to the sandworm. Sandy hissed a greeting in return. “We’ll… deal with that later. Right now we should make sure you’re not too hurt,” Delia gently grabbed Lawrence’s arm and directed him towards the living room, Charles following after to help. 

“I’ll grab an ice pack,” Lydia declared, turning to the kitchen. 

“Good thinking, I wonder if I still have that rice hot pack in one of the boxes somewhere,” Delia wondered. 

Of course, upon hearing all the voices, the Maitlands came downstairs to see what was happening. Relief filled their faces when they saw Lawrence, but that quickly became horror when they saw the state he was in. 

“What happened? Are you okay? Oh that looks bad!” Barbara gasped. 

“Were you attacked? Those look like bite marks! Where’s Lydia?” Adam looked around fearfully. 

“I’m here,” Lydia stepped into the living room, now holding an ice pack in hand. Barbara and Adam looked at her in relief before turning back to Lawrence. 

“What exactly happened? Did that Leanne Juleherd do this to you?” Barbara asked, anger and worry tempering her voice. 

“No, no. Leanne was just hoping Lawrence would assist her in learning rituals. We were attacked by a monster, actually. A gug I think it was called?” Charles looked to Lawrence for confirmation. 

“Yup. Not a fun guy,” Lawrence grimaced. 

Lydia handed Adam the ice pack. He immediately wrapped it up in a cloth and gingerly set it on the third arm propped up for Delia to examine. Lawrence winced as his arm protested being touched, making Adam pale. “Sorry! Gosh, that looks sore with all those bruises.” 

“Not as sore as I get from a good old fashioned orgy,” Lawrence weakly shot finger guns at the ghost. 

Adam tutted. “Lawrence, you don’t need to act tough, it’s obvious you’re hurt,” he gently scolded, resettling the ice pack more carefully. Lawrence stiffened and looked away at that, his hair becoming a subtle tinge of pink at the ends. 

“So, what happened exactly? How did Leanne Juleherd summon Lawrence, and... how did er, Sandy get here?” Barbara gestured to the sandworm now coiled above Beej on the back of the couch. 

“Apparently Leanne is training to be a witch, and she summoned Beej to help her figure out how to progress in that. She found the way to summon him through this weird book she found at a library,” Lydia placed said book on the coffee table, flipping it over to the mysterious summoning page. “We broke Beej out of there, but a gug came and tried to eat him, so we had to deal with that next.” 

“Lydia… somehow called Sandy down to help finish off the gug, and now these two are stuck on the brilliant idea of keeping her here,” Charles finished, giving both Lydia and Lawrence a stern look. 

“How… how do you keep a sandworm?” A paling Delia asked, looking up from her examination to stare at the sandworm uncertainly. 

“Is it like keeping a snake? She does seem to inhabit similar traits to them,” Adam said, gently holding a hand out to Sandy. She studied Adam for a moment, before butting her head into his hand. Adam looked like a boy with his Christmas present, the way he stared in awe at the sandworm. 

“Oh you loved snakes! You were so sad when Gloria passed away. I’m sure you still have some of your old equipment somewhere in the attic,” Barbara placed a finger to her chin as she tried to remember. 

“Uh, your guess is as good as mine on sandworm keeping. Could be like caring for a snake, could be like something else entirely. All I know is that when you ride a sandworm, you must become a cowboy, baby,” Lawrence replied, shrugging. 

He winced once again, making Delia huff an annoyed “Stop moving it, you,” at him. 

“Sandy can help us figure it out. So are you guys cool with keeping her?” Lydia asked. 

“Um, yes? That sounds awesome!” Adam grinned. 

“She seems like a real sweetie,” Barbara agreed, reaching a hand to also pet the creature. Sandy purred, delighted by all the attention she was now receiving. 

They all looked to Delia expectantly. Delia realized this and looked up, like a deer caught in headlights. “Uh…. I guess? Her aura doesn’t seem too bad for the house. Just don’t expect me to help clean up dead skin or something, snakes creep me out,” Delia shuddered. 

“Sandy is a  _ sandworm _ , the only thing she needs is a good old fashioned dust bath, right girl?” Lawrence asked. 

Sandy chittered eagerly, looking around expectantly for the dust. “Aw, like a little hamster!” Barbara cooed, scrubbing her knuckles over the top of Sandy’s head. 

“This is odd,” Charles muttered aloud, having zoned out of the conversation to look over the book used to summon Beetlejuice. 

“What is it?” Lydia looked over her father’s arm at the demon book, curious herself on what made up the tones’ contents. 

“This summoning ritual reads more like a contract than some sort of weird witch-y spell,” Charles explained, flipping the summoning page back and forth as he looked it over. 

“Er, a contract?” Lawrence asked, his eyes widening minutely. 

“Yes, the wording is reminiscent of the sort I have to help clients fill out,” Charles said, showing the page. 

Lawrence leaned closer, reading through it uneasily. There was a moment of quiet tension, until Lawrence let out a bitter chuckle. “I see what’s going on. Of course Mother is partially behind this bullshit,” he said, and sat back. “That’s a copy of the contract for my curse. Explains why it’s so weird. I dunno how she got it in there or when, but I wouldn’t be surprised if it was so she could track me down via some stranger summoning me if she needed to. Luckily, now I’ve got the netherworld reception helping me keep invisible from her these days. Guess it pays to get rid of a shitty boss for a bit,” Lawrence smirked. 

“Like to see her try and track you down, especially now that we have Sandy. I’ll turn her into worm food any day of the week,” Lydia scowled. 

“I know you will Scarecrow, but maybe leave Sandy to take care of that. Would hate for Mom to drag you into the Netherworld to become her slave, I mean, her ‘personal assistant’,” Lawrence smirked, ruffling Lydia’s hair. 

“Well Juno will have more than just Sandy and Lydia to worry about,” Delia added, narrowing her eyes at the thought. Everyone nodded in agreement, but before Lawrence could think about that implication, Delia got up. “I don’t think your arm is too badly injured. A little tender from hyperextension, but some r‘n’r should fix that up,” she said. 

“I didn’t know you knew so much about injuries,” Barbara noted interestedly, leaning over the back of the couch to get a better look at Lawrence’s arm. 

“I wanted to be a massage therapist for a while, so I learned a good bit about the body before my mentor dropped me,” Delia explained matter of factly, seeming to not realize just how monumentous a task like learning massage therapy was. 

“She’s a woman of many talents,” Charles said appreciatively, looking up to Delia with soft eyes. 

“Gross,” Lydia deadpanned, Beetlejuice showing his agreeance by sticking his tongue out in disgust. Charles simply rolled his eyes bemusedly. 

“Oh! Shoot! It’s almost eight, you guys haven’t eaten yet,” Adam noticed the time. 

“I hadn’t even thought about dinner, and it’s too late to pull anything from the freezer,” Delia worried. 

“I’ll order us some take out. I think we’ve earned  _ that _ after today,” Charles decided. 

“Chipotle!” Lydia cheered. 

“You don’t want sushi?” Delia sounded surprised. Charles, Lydia and Lawrence fell silent as the fresh memory of rotten fish and blood assaulted their minds. 

“No. No sushi,” Lydia said gravely. Barbara, Delia and Adam exchanged confused looks, but they didn’t press the matter. The solemn look on the three’s faces made them hold their tongues. 

“I know the usual order with you two, but what would you like, Lawrence?” Charles asked. 

Lawrence stared back, slowly his hair becoming dandelion yellow. “Uh... chips? I could... go for fried potatoes,” He slowly asked. 

“N-no, Beej, Chipotle is like Mexican food. And we’re not in England so you mean French fries,” Lydia explained. 

“Oh right. I knew that! Um...”

“Just get him whatever, Dad. Beej likes everything,” Lydia turned to her dad. 

“So long as it’s kosher,” the demon agreed. 

“Right,” Charles nodded, happy to cut the strange moment of time vertigo short. 

“While that’s being taken care of,” Adam clapped his hands together, “I’m glad you’re ok.  _ However _ , you are to take it easy until this arm is better,” he pointed at Lawrence warningly. 

Lawrence shifted, uneasily. “Taking charge now, ey? Can’t say I dislike it, A-dog, ehe.” 

Adam shook his head. “Don’t distract me with the jokes, I’m not falling for it. You’ve gotta slow down and let yourself heal.” 

Barbara joined him. “Everyone here will make sure you do, so don’t even try and pull any funny stunts.” The two crossed their arms with finality. There would be no arguing. 

Lawrence looked away embarrassedly. “Ugh, you guys are  _ so _ nauseatingly caring. Does relaxing include cleaning this gunk off me before I completely ruin the couch?” 

“Oh, a bath  _ is _ a good idea for you! I’ll go draw one up for you. Lydia, could you grab Lawrence a new change of clothes since his are... ruined?” Barbara asked as she headed for the bathroom. 

Lydia smirked at the now flabbergasted Lawrence. “Sure. Can you help me, Stepmom? I trust Adam will keep Beej settled,” she held a hand out and letting Sandy climb up her arms and perch on her shoulders while holding a silent conversation with Delia for a moment, in which the older woman’s eyes widened at the meaningful look Lydia gave and she got the same devious twinkle of mischief as the teen. 

“You okay with that?” Delia asked Adam, who nodded.

“Of course!” He chirped. 

“Great! We’ll be back eventually,” Lydia skipped to the stairs with Delia in tow. Lydia glanced back to see Beej mouthing  _ ‘Traitor’ _ at her, and she shared her grin with Delia as they went up the stairs. 

….

_ ‘Fuck baths. Fuck gugs. Fuck adorable suburban ghost couples. And fuck snarky teen girls most of all _ ,’ Lawrence thought. 

He was thankful he didn’t have blood that would engulf his cheeks, but he did curse every made up human deity ever for his goddamn hair. He could see the pink ends in his peripheral, basically showing to the entire world that his heart would be flip flopping for the most painfully boring couple if it could still beat. 

The bathroom was spilling steam out into the hallway as Adam helped Lawrence to it. Lawrence found that the adrenaline rush he’d been running on since the gug had finally puttered out, leaving him with jelly legs that were more uncoordinated than Adam was apparently comfortable with, so the ghost decided he needed to help Lawrence walk. Lawrence would never admit that he wanted to melt into the ghost's gentle yet strong grip currently curved around him keeping his track stead. Barbara stood expectantly in the doorway of the bathroom, her eyes worriedly tracking their movement, ready to jump in if anything went wrong. After everything that happened, after all the harassment and intrusion, they were still the Maitlands. Sweet, intolerably kind Maitlands. 

His shoulder twinged, and Lawrence didn’t bite off his groan of pain fast enough. Adam looked over, adorably apologetic. “Sorry, I’m so sorry! Here, you can rest here,” Adam helped Lawrence sink onto the edge of the bathtub, patting the demon’s shoulder. God, even that was enough to make Lawrence want to swoon like a lead induced Victorian. Stupid, sexy Adam. 

Barbara carefully pulled the ice pack away from Lawrence’s shoulder and set it into the sink. “Do you need help taking clothes off? It may be difficult with your, er, extra limb,” she asked, gesturing to the third arm curled up to his side. 

Oh boy, once again grateful there was no blood to rush anywhere at the moment. 

“Why Babs, I thought you’d never ask. I knew I shouldn’t have waited for Adam to be the forward one in this courtship.” Lawrence learned that the best way to avoid horrible feelings was to just joke them away. Barbara didn’t seem too impressed. Good old Barbara, never lets him down. 

Wait, she was touching his shoulder and giving him that sweet, concerned look, abort,  _ abort _ ! 

“Lawrence, really. We just want to help, I promise. Will you let us?” 

God her eyebrows looked cute wrinkling together like that. How is that possible? They were just muscles and hair! 

“Jeez,  _ fine _ , since you want in my pants so bad,” he huffed, willing every nerve in his body to just go ahead and fully die off at that moment. He shouldn’t do this, this was bad for his stupid crush. The Maitlands are just being nice like they always are, they’d do this for anyone. Stupid, stupid, sexy Maitlands. 

They helped him peel his shirt off. He focused on the smell of blood to ignore the tingles that sparked his skin any time Barbara’s calloused fingers brushed him or Adam’s hands tightened, keeping him balanced on the bathtub edge. 

The shirt was definitely useless now. There were tears and rips everywhere, unless he wanted to try and make some sort of undead fashion statement. The bloodstains would only highlight the holes, wouldn’t they? 

Barbara looked down at the pathetic scrap of cloth sadly. “Lydia will be disappointed, but there’s definitely no saving this,” she noted. 

“I’m sure she won’t care too much,” Adam reassured her. 

Lawrence remained quiet, simply breathing in the steaming air, trying to steady his dizzy thoughts. Sitting next to Adam like this, Barbara looking at his shirt like it was a living creature worthy of pity, it was so appallingly domestic. The longer he thought about it, the more he knew he couldn’t deal with it. Nope, not at all. So Instead, he leaned back, performing a couple of quick tricks, the first teleporting his pants to the floor of the bathroom the moment he splashed into the tub, and the second trick making the water actually stick onto the other two incorporeal spirits. Adam leapt up, spluttering, and Barbara jumped, surprised at the sudden turn of events. 

When the water settled, Lawrence was stretched out in the tub in a suggestive pose, careful of his third arm. “Now, who wants to join Daddy? Last one in gets to sit on his lap,” he winked, trying to hide his grimace as his injured arm protested all the sudden movement. 

Adam wiped water off his glasses, and he looked amused, rather than annoyed and Barbara was snickering. Dammit, that’s not how this was supposed to work! 

“Never a dull moment with you, is there?” Adam asked, leaning back. There seemed to be no changing this saccharine moment, it was just going to keep happening. Lawrence sighed in defeat and settled into the tub more comfortably. The warm water did feel nice, at least. 

Barbara giggled again, the bastard, patting Adam’s shoulder. “I forgot what it felt like to be wet, it’s been so long!” She noted. 

“Adam, you should be ashamed of yourself,” Lawrence snorted with barely a thought. 

Both Maitlands looked over to him in surprise, and Barbara began to laugh even more earnestly while Adam blushed an adorable tomato red. 

“Barbara, Lawrence, please,” Adam half heartedly tried to seem offended, but he couldn’t hide his smile, ruining all chances of appearing disapproving of the joke. 

“Ok, I walked into that one, I admit. You must be starting to feel better if you’re making real jokes again,” Barbara said when her laughter settled. 

“I’ve been joking the whole time, Babs. I’m always fine,” Lawrence poked a bar of soap, wondering if it tasted different from the one in his shower since it smelled different. 

“I’ve already told you, didn’t I? Before was deflection, this was an actual joke. A crude one, yes, but an actual joke. I like to think everyone has learned the difference between you telling a joke and you avoiding things by now,” Barbara said. 

Lawrence pulled a disgusted face. “Ugh, stop calling my shit so accurately, Babs, it’s creepy.” 

“I thought you wanted us to be creepy,” Adam smiled, raising a brow. 

“Yeah to other people, not me!” 

Adam and Barbara both laughed, leaving Lawrence ever so slightly breathless. This was going to Shitsburg fast. Damn him and his impeccable humor! Lawrence quickly changed the subject. “So you managed to call the Netherworld on your own. Gotta say that’s… kind of impressive, memorizing that rune so fast,” Lawrence said. 

Adam smiled bashfully. “Well, I wasn’t sure who else could help us. Shyanne seems to be pretty fond of you, so I thought if anyone could help, it’d be her. Then she got Maria and Venetia and… well I’m glad you have so many friends in the Netherworld.” 

Well that wasn’t much better. Lawrence shifted uncomfortably. “Heh, c’mon now, A-dog. You’re making it sound like people like me,” he chuckled, which sounded more like a cough. 

“But…. they do?” Adam looked confused now. 

“Yeah, the way those ladies were in a panic about you, it’d take an idiot not to see how much you matter to those guys,” Barbara agreed. 

‘ _ An idiot like me? _ ’ Lawrence thought as he considered what the two said. He glanced over to the fogged up mirror, mulling over these thoughts. “I should probably call them when I’m cleaned up,” he thought aloud. 

“That’d probably be the best, they’ll wanna know you’re ok. Oh, do you need some help cleaning up? You, uh, have gug gunk in your hair,” Barbara noted, looking over to Lawrence curiously. 

Oh yes, he was  _ very  _ grateful for the lack of blushing. “Uh… yeah, whatever,” he huffed, trying not to just teleport away. 

“Alright, hold still,” Barbara ordered. Adam grabbed the water pitcher out from under the sink, as well as a washcloth, and handed the pitcher to Barbara. She dunked it into the sudsy bathwater, giving a quick, “Close your eyes,” before pouring it out over Lawrence’s head. Adam began to scrub the demon’s hair. 

“Hm, your hair looks a little greasy besides the, er, gug gunk. How long do you wait to wash it?” Adam asked, picking up a curl of the green hair. 

Lawrence stared back. “Wait… to wash it?” 

“Yes?” Adam prompted. 

The three stared at each other. For a long moment. It was too long of a moment. 

“I… washed it when Lydia told me too that one time,” Lawrence finally offered. 

Adam and Barbara’s faces dropped. “You… haven’t washed yourself since then?” Barbara asked, horror starting to seep into her voice. 

“Do I have to?” Lawrence asked. 

“You… you should wash your body every day and your hair every few days,” Adam said weakly. 

“But I’m not alive!” Lawrence tried to point out. Breathers were the ones with functioning bodies, all oily and greasy and smelling of b.o. He had none of that going on, he was just a walking corpse frozen in time. 

“But you are corporeal, you still get dust and stuff on you,” Barbara replied patiently. 

...Ok. He didn’t think about that. “That. Might be a good point.” 

Lawrence’s hair got a thorough scrubbing and he was made to promise that he’d clean himself up every day. It wasn't that hard of a promise to make, an excuse to laze around in hot water for around an hour? Lawrence happily took it. 

A new set of clothes were delivered by Delia, and Barbara and Adam left Lawrence to change in peace. The bath water was tinged green and gray from the eldritch blood and saliva, so Lawrence snapped his fingers to open the drain and empty it out. 

Now it was time. 

He carefully stripped the barely hanging on bandage off his finger, noting the tip was nearly fully healed now, and he carefully nicked it against his tooth once again. The blood welled up immediately, and he set up the ritual. The fog swirled on the glass, until- “Juiceman!” 

Lawrence was caught off guard when he was faced with a hopping, red and white clad horse jockey rather than the expected Shyanne. 

“Hey Shortie,” he said, getting over his surprise quickly. 

“I’m so glad you’re ok! What would I do without my fellow stripe wearer? I’d be all alone in the stripes club again!” Venetia dramatically gestured about, bringing her horse crop up to her helmet as if she were about to faint. 

Lawrence swallowed thickly at the show of concern. He could hear the distant noise of the door. The food Charles ordered must’ve arrived. He ran a hand through his drying hair. “Heard I was able to be rescued ‘cause of you guys,” he said, changing the subject. 

“Oh yeah, and you should thank Reese, he managed to keep the summoning papers away from any prying eyes and give them to me and Argentina. I didn’t know you were living with that adorable breather girl who showed up here before! She was too cute, wanted to squish her lil’ cheeks. Super brave to travel to the Netherworld,” Venetia giggled. 

“Yeah, I am,” Lawrence smirked. Venetia always struggled to stay in topic when excited like this. 

“Hold on, lemme go grab the others, everyone was up in arms about you. Harry was ready to charge out and rescue you if no one else was...” Venetia’s voice trailed off as she disappeared. Lawrence blinked in surprise, and huffed embarrassedly. Was he really gonna get this whole concerned act from everybody tonight? 

“THAT BASTARD, IT'S BEEN HOURS! WHEN WAS HE SAVED?” a distant voice shouted. 

“Oh boy,” Lawrence grinned. That was a bit better. More like what he was expecting. 

A door slammed open, and suddenly there was a small mob clustered before the mirror. It was the entire office of Netherworld’s Customs and Processing. Maria managed to move to the front of them all, and had Lawrence fixed with a stern look and crossed arms. He grinned unashamedly back at her, and Maria’s scowl turned into a begrudgingly amused huff and eye roll as she assessed he was fine. Shyanne stood next to Maria, clutching onto her arm and looking quite relieved herself, and he could spot Venetia hopping around in the back of the group, trying to see what was going on around her. 

“Ho’ shit, you look like shit, Beetlejuice!” Said the baseball cap wearing mechanic, Doug. He grinned widely, showing off his unkempt teeth. 

“Thanks,” Lawrence replied, happy at the blunt statement. No weird concern being shown for him? No worries. 

“Doug, be nice!” Shyanne scolded him. 

“Why? The bastard left us wondering what the hell happened for hours!” Said the burnt suit wearer, Reese. 

“In my defense I had to wash gug goop off,” Lawrence interjected. 

“What’s a gug? Some sort of ghoul?” One of the football players, Don, asked. 

“Demon eater,” Lawrence answered easily, as if he had known all along and had not just learned about them that day. 

“You went up against a demon eater?” Maria asked, her voice now rife with annoyance. 

“Not on purpose! It found me, if anything it was the witch’s fault,” Lawrence replied defensively.

Maria shook her head. “You’re going to make me go gray, somehow you’re going to make me age even though I’m dead and botoxed to hell and back,” she said, delicately placing a hand to her temple. 

“Ah, discovered my secret plot did you?” Beetlejuice grinned. 

“Take it easy on him, guys! I’m sure Beets hadn’t left us in the cold very long!” Venetia piped up, still hopping up to see into the mirror better. 

“Yeah, I didn’t! I’ve only been home half an hour,” Lawrence agreed with a satisfied nod. The other ghosts stared at him. “What?” He asked slowly, his smugness falling away to confusion. 

“So, it’s home now?” Maria asked knowingly. 

Lawrence knew his hair was bright pink at that moment. He lifted a finger and opened his mouth to argue, but no defense came to mind. 

“Be nice, Maria. Are you okay, Beetlejuice? That Leanne didn’t hurt you, did she?” Shyanne interjected worriedly, looking like a concerned mother. Lawrence wasn’t sure how to feel about that. 

“Yeah I’m fine. Just, sore. That Leanne was just a pushy witch, she couldn’t mess with me. The gug roughed me up, but Scarecrow called in a sandworm to chomp up the gug,” Lawrence said proudly. 

“Oh god not a sandworm! Where is it?! Where?!” the skydiving man, Keech, yelped, looking around desperately for the named beast. He’d had many harsh experiences with sandworms since he died outside, right where any hungry worm could get him. Even now in the safety of the Netherworld he’d get queasy at even the mention of them. 

Lawrence chuckled, and studied the group that supposedly came to check up on him. They all appeared relieved and in higher spirits, and… glad to see him. He’d only spent a few weeks in the office with them, but… Lawrence supposed there had been plenty of fun shenanigans had. Like the time Doug tried to fix a vent and wound up with a face full of some sort of human faced octopus abomination that required Lawrence and Shrunken Head Harry to pull off together while Venetia tried to whap it off with her horse whip. 

“Maybe you could direct that sandworm down here, set it loose on Juno’s office,” the cleaver headed Orson sighed, looking back to the rest of the office wistfully. 

“Oh like Juno would fall for that twice,” Don snorted. 

Shrunken Head Harry gestured wildly, signing something his now misshapen head couldn’t say. “Good point. We wouldn’t really want to let a sandworm loose in the  _ Netherworld _ ,” the second football player, Carl agreed.

The third and final football player, Vinny, clattered his exposed jaw together meaningfully, making everyone nod thoughtfully at his wisdom. 

“You’re always the wisest of us, Vinny. Really know how to make a ghoul think,” Lawrence said. 

“Beej, food’s here!” Lydia’s voice called through the bathroom door. 

“Well I contacted you to tell y’all I’m fine so don’t go bugging anyone about me,” Lawrence said, glancing over to the bathroom door. 

“You better be careful in the future. Your luck won’t go on forever. Trust me I know,” Reese took a long drag of his cigar.

“We’re glad you’re ok, Beetlejuice. Stay safe, ok?” Shyanne smiled. 

“And call us more! I need to hear from my fellow stripe wearer, Juiceman!” Venetia added. 

“It’s boring talking to the senior execs here,” Doug added. 

“Meh,” Lawrence waved the two off, never one to commit to anything for other people’s sake. 

“You be good, Beetlejuice. Someday you’ll be able to come back here, but until then... Enjoy your new home,” Maria smiled, pleased. 

Lawrence began to splutter indignantly, but the mirror turned to fog before he could utter a word, and Lawrence was left with a wet mirror and a dark bathroom. A strange feeling of contentment settled into his chest, and he smiled. Maybe this home business wasn’t so bad. 

Lawrence left the bathroom, now curious as to what food awaited him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beej really doesn’t get that people like him. What a dummy  
> Hit me up on tumblr if you want ^_^ [@daydreaming-jessi](https://daydreaming-jessi.tumblr.com/)  
> Edit: I am here, turning the beetlelands fluff, and the trickery up to eleven >:3


	18. Ol’ Black Water, Keep on Rolling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beej and Lydia hang out with Skye then have a chat about bugs with Delia and the Maitlands in the garden. Wait, was that a fish with human teeth?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally posted April 10th, 2020. Edited February 11th, 2021

Sandy was quickly made a nice little warming corner in the living room and the attic. She became a part of the daily routine quickly, easily sinking into the strange dynamic of the house. Even Delia started to see that Sandy was not as snakelike as she believed and enjoyed the sandworm’s company more. Sandy herself decided she loved curling around Adam’s shoulders while he worked on his model town, and chasing ghost mice in Lydia’s dark room while she worked on photographs. Though if ever someone wanted to find her and she wasn’t with Adam or Lydia, they’d find Sandy curled around Lawrence, purring contently as he lazily scratched her coils. 

Speaking of, Lawrence was put on very strict bed rest, with a daily stretching routine Delia led him through to help his stiff arm. He grumbled and whined the entire time, very quickly becoming bored with the whole thing. The only way to appease him was Lydia playing old video games next to him, where he watched her play, enraptured by the strange contraptions she brought. He seemed most fond of Animal Crossing, where he and Lydia made many chaotic decisions as the joint town mayor, including trying to plant trees so they grew through houses, and getting villagers to say nasty innuendos and curse words without activating the game's language lockdown. 

Still, there was only so long that worked before his ever-ambling interest moved on, and it soon became clear that he was going to lose it if the household kept, as he called it, “babying the shit out of him”. Fortunately, there was a knock on their door one day. Skye had come delivering cookies and was hoping to hang out once more. 

Lydia convinced the adults to let Lawrence go with her and Skye, saying he needed some time out and away from the house. Lawrence had grumbled a little when Skye said they’d need to be polite to the customers until she sold her cookies, but Skye made it up to him with a box of s’mores cookies and a promise that they could scare the buyers  _ after  _ the sale. 

That day Lydia and Lawrence learned that even though she had arrhythmia, Skye could just as easily keep up with them. She managed to be able to turn her cheer factor creepy in seconds, and her hustle for selling cookies even impressed Lawrence, who appreciated a good salesperson apparently. They terrorized the neighborhood for hours, and Skye showed them around a bit more, since she lived in Danbury longer than either of them. Lydia took a good few pictures, some of them including Skye and Beej, others were just simple shots she thought were interesting. 

Eventually the three found themselves munching on the remainder of Skye’s cookies while sitting on the wall of a bridge hanging over the town’s river, Skye drilling Lawrence about death. “So, if an animal dies, where does it go?” she asked, cookie crumbs sticking to her chin. 

Lawrence shrugged. “Probably to whatever animal equivalent there is of the Netherworld,” he replied. 

“You never went to see it?” Skye asked. 

“As inhuman as I am, I’m not an animal either,” Lawrence grinned ferociously, showing off his sharp teeth. Skye sat back and hummed thoughtfully. “Why’re you so interested in death anyways? Aren’t kids your age supposed to care about school and shit these days?” Lawrence flicked a piece of cookie into the river water. A strange human mouthed fish emerged to swallow the cookie piece before disappearing back into the void of the black water. 

“Well, I guess I’m interested because I’m closer to death than most people. One wrong trigger, and suddenly my heart can stop, and  _ poof _ ! I’m gone,” Skye waved her hands. 

Lydia looked over to Skye thoughtfully while Lawrence blinked slowly. “Man. That’s a whole Victorian mood right there,” he said. 

Skye giggled, digging out another cookie. “Cast has a friend who loves the gothic fashion side of the Victorians, but they say the Victorians themselves sucked,” she noted. 

“Yup. All of them had rods up their ass,  _ super _ boring what with their pining induced fevers, but they did appreciate a good hallucinogen, so I was able to skip the boring parts pretty easily,” Lawrence replied with a fond smirk. 

“Lots of lead, though,” Lydia remarked, snapping a picture of a fish jumping up through the water. 

“Oh,  _ so _ much lead, I had quite a few guiding jobs,” Lawrence agreed. 

“So, when  _ I _ die, can I expect to see you?” Skye looked up to Lawrence brightly. He shifted uncomfortably. 

“I dunno if you should talk like that Skye. My therapist always tells me that thought process can be unhealthy,” Lydia said, looking between the two cautiously. 

“Oh, well it’s just… I’m not looking forward to dying, I just… accepted it from a young age? The kids in the heart disease group I’m a part of talk like that all the time, actually. Adults don’t like it, but we’re all just curious. What’ll happen when I die? ‘Cause I’m gonna die, I technically have already on an operating table before, but I don’t remember a lot, so,” Skye explained, looking to Lawrence expectantly. 

“Dunno why you’d want  _ me  _ to be your guide, kid. Considering I scared the shit out of you that one time,” he finally said. 

Lydia smirked. “Skye’s weird,” she supplied. 

“I am! I thought the scaring thing was fun! And I think you’re pretty cool! Death is kind of scary, yeah, but it won’t be so bad if I know I’ll have a friend waiting for me,” Skye smiled brightly. 

Lawrence stared at her for a long moment, then placed a hand over her face. “Ok that’s too much mush for me,” he huffed, pushing Skye away. 

Lydia and Skye laughed, Skye ducking away from his hand. “Beej is a total pushover, Skye, don’t worry,” Lydia said smugly, shooting the demon a sly grin. Lawrence simply rolled his eyes in response, deciding to focus on decimating another box of cookies rather than listening to the two girls chatter on about whatever it was they were talking about. Something about Lydia explaining the problems of relying on finite resources in late stage capitalism these days, while Skye listened on, hooked on the teens every word. 

The human toothed fish popped up once again and stared at Lawrence expectantly, giving what a normal person would consider a bone chilling grin. Lawrence stuck his tongue out at it, causing the fish’s smile to widen further. Glowing eyes appeared behind the fish, focused entirely on Lawrence. A smile as big as the river appeared from the watery void, stretching out in a jaw cracking grin. Lawrence gave it the finger while shaking more cookies into his mouth. 

Skye’s phone went off, distracting Lawrence from the river. “Oh, Mom wants me home,” Skye said sadly, looking down at her phone screen with a pout. 

“Well, I guess I should get Beej back, before the parentals all start to worry,” Lydia patted his shoulder not connected to the still somewhat tender third arm currently hidden from the visible plane of existence. 

Lawrence groaned. “God, why are they like this? It’s so weird. That whole damn weekend was a bust, I have to deal with this  _ and _ a sore arm,” he huffed. 

“At least you seem to be getting along with my dad. That weekend wasn’t a total fluke in the end,” Lydia noted, pushing herself off the cement bridge wall and helping Skye pack their trash into the nearby garbage can. 

Lawrence grunted, scowling at the river. The fish was still there, smiling, staring at Lawrence intently. He felt a strange white hot energy zap down his spine, making him shudder. Stupid fish. He fell over backwards into the street, readjusting his body midair to be standing rather than laying out on the sidewalk. 

Skye hefted her much lighter backpack on. “Thanks for hanging out,” she said with a bright smile, hugging Lydia tightly. 

“It was fun, right Beej?” Lydia asked the demon ambling over to them. 

“Meh. Could’ve done with more blood and shorts turning brown,” he replied with a shrug. 

“Maybe next time we’ll do better. Bye, Beej!” Skye threw her arms around the demon, making him freeze up in shock. He jerkily patted her head, looking over to Lydia confusedly. The goth teen only smirked back at him, making him scowl embarrassedly. 

Skye stepped back with a chipper. “See you later!” Then she was off, skipping down the sidewalk as if she hadn’t a single care in the world. 

“This was weird, right?” Lawrence got to ask finally. 

“We’re weird,” Lydia shrugged, starting to walk towards home. 

“Yeah ok, fair.” Lawrence followed without a second glance to the river. 

“You did get to scare people today,” Lydia pointed out, readjusting her jacket. 

“I did get to scare people. That was great,” Lawrence grinned widely. 

They got home without incident, albeit slowly as Lydia had them stop a few times to take more pictures. When they got back they found the Maitlands and Delia out in the garden. Well, Delia was out in the garden. Barbara and Adam were stuck on the porch, watching Delia measure plots out for the fall seeds she was going to plant. Sandy was curled around the porch railing, enjoying the sunlight, her false eyelids closed. An old radio the Maitlands must’ve dug out was set on the porch step, playing jaunty, relaxing tunes from an old station the Maitlands had listened to when they were alive that Delia found appealing in an old charming way.

“Hey guys,” Adam greeted Lydia and Lawrence when they stepped onto the porch. 

“Hey,” Lydia moved to throw an arm around Adam’s middle, who placed a hand on her shoulder, as she joined them to watch Delia working. 

“How was selling cookies with Skye?” Barbara asked, smiling softly at the scene. 

“Skye’s got hustle. And she can be creepy. Lots of people developed fears of Girl Scouts today,” Lydia smirked smugly. 

Barbara and Adam shot Lawrence a disapproving glance, as if he were some sort of responsible adult that was supposed to prevent that. He stuck his tongue out back at them lazily, moving off to go investigate the potting soil Delia was using to spruce up the backyard soil. 

“It was fun. Beej won’t say so, but he liked it, too. He still loves scaring the shit out of strangers,” Lydia continued. She was positively glowing, the complete opposite of the girl she was almost a year ago. Adam squeezed her shoulder while Barbara reached over and ruffled her hair, both feeling immense pride. 

“Hey D, I found a snail!” Lawrence crowed happily, distractingly the three from the moment. 

Delia squawked, stumbling up from patting down soil over seeds to rush over. “Oh, no! I haven’t even planted anything yet, and I’m already getting  _ snails _ ?” 

“What’s wrong with it?” Lawrence looked puzzled as the snail inched slimily along in his hand. 

“Snails are a garden’s nightmare. I’m gonna have to find some way to stop them,” Delia explained, shooting the snail a glare. 

Lawrence defensively hid the shelled gastropod away, muttering, “‘S not its fault a guys gotta eat.” 

Delia blinked, slightly caught off guard by the demon’s defensiveness. “Well, no, but they still ruin perfectly good gardens. I want to be able to cook my own produce that I’ve grown, and I won’t be able to do that if a snail eats it all,” she said. 

“It’s ok, Delia. I had lots of snails, too, I learned a few tricks that will keep them from eating up the plants,” Barbara called from the porch. 

“It’s not gonna kill them, is it?” Lawrence asked, his eyes narrowed in a suspicious glare. 

“No, it just wards the snails away. They’ll find food to eat elsewhere,” she replied reassuringly. 

“I didn’t think you cared so much about snails,” Adam noted. 

“They remind me of me, therefore I like them. They carry everything they own with them, they eat whatever they can get, they’re gross and slimy. And if anyone starts to like them, snails will cause problems, making themselves a nuisance to anyone that tries to get close to them, so that they don’t have to worry about people one day leaving them behind or worse, hurting them with their weakness before they can hide away.” Lawrence stared into the distance, his throat working, the snail moving along its merry way on his hand. An awkward silence fell over the garden for a moment, but before anyone could think of anything to say, Lawrence blinked out of his stupor and continued, “People think they’re bugs, and people get grossed out by bugs. That also makes me like them. And you know, bugs and the like are cool. Out of anything alive out there, they don’t ever judge you, or try to exorcise you, they just hang around, chilling.” He let the snail slither off onto the fence separating the backyard from the rest of the world. 

Delia and Lydia exchanged a concerned look at that dump of information and obvious diversion from said info dump, not noticing how Barbara and Adam stilled at the mention of exorcism. Lawrence did though, glancing back to see a faraway look in Barbara’s eyes and Adam staring at her intently, his brow creased with concern. Lawrence felt his stomach drop, similarly to how it did when he thought about the house before he came back here. He quickly looked away, wondering why  _ that  _ was happening again. 

Lydia decided that Lawrence’s issues would be better to deal with later in private, and broke up the permeating silence by asking, “Hey, do you think Sandy would show up in a photograph, or would she be invisible like Barb and Adam?” 

Lawrence realized they were expecting him to answer. Barbara and Adam seemed to have gotten over their memories, and were looking to him curiously, as well as Lydia and Delia. “Dunno. Sandworms are more corporeal than ghosts, so maybe,” he replied, getting back into rhythm. It wouldn’t do to be sad and mopey, he was the bouncing, manic wild guy. No moping around. 

“Let's put your theory to the test then,” Lydia said, pulling her camera up, and carefully adjusting the settings. 

Barbara and Adam quickly posed, Barbara throwing her arms around him as Adam placed an arm around her shoulder and placed the other arm on the rail next to Sandy, and both gave a wide grin for the photo. Lydia snapped a few different shots, the camera obediently taking pictures. 

“I’m getting somewhere with my development. Soon, we’re gonna have pictures of you guys to hang around the house. Hey, maybe it’ll work for Beej, and he can have pictures up, too,” Lydia said, looking over to the demon happily. 

“People may be curious about it, though. It’s a little strange to have photos of people who supposedly don’t even live with you,” Adam pointed out. 

“I’m sure we can deflect any questions asked. I’m pretty good at distracting people from things they don’t need to know about,” Delia said, pulling her gardening gloves off and wiping her brow. Then she gestured to the lawn around her. “What do you think Barb? Did I do good enough for your gardening expertise?” 

“It looks great! I can’t wait to see those old beds come to life again,” Barbara grinned. 

“Why are you looking at it all the way over there?” Lawrence asked, staring at the two still on the porch. 

Adam and Barbara looked at each other confusedly. “Well... you said ghosts can’t go outside,” Barbara said. 

“I said you can’t leave the property safely. That includes  _ all _ of the property, like the backyard,” Lawrence replied, motioning to the entirety of the space. 

“You mean, we can leave the porch?” Adam asked. 

“Yes? Shit, have you two been in the house  _ all _ this time?” Lawrence stared at them wide eyed. 

“We were worried about what might go after us if we left,” Barbara said worriedly, both still staying where they were on the porch. 

“Alright well, even if this wasn’t your property, you still have Sandy now. She’s made this her turf, so if anyone she doesn’t want tries to come here and bug you two, she’d chase them off in seconds.” Seeing the couple were still unsure, Lawrence moved back to them and offered his hands. “Plus I’ve taught you how to kick the shit out of them with your ghosting skills. So stop pussy-footing, come on! Hard and fast, as I like it.” 

Delia and Lydia watched with bated breath and Lawrence looked the two in the eye with an unsaid dare. Slowly, Barbara and Adam took the demon’s hands and stepped off the porch onto the grass. For a moment everyone watched silently, when Barbara began to laugh. She pressed a hand to her mouth and looked up with tears pricking the corners of her eyes. “I forgot what it felt like. To be out here,” she sniffed, sharing a grin with Adam. 

Lawrence stared at the hands in his grasp for a moment, then quickly let go and stepped back. “I almost wish you were on lsd while doing this, I can’t imagine how big your overreactions would be then,” he grinned wickedly. 

Adam chuckled and shook his head while Barbara shot Lawrence a look, though it’s severity was cut by the smile she was failing to hide. “You always are pushing us to be more daring aren’t you?” Barbara asked rhetorically, moving to hold Adam’s hand. Lawrence shrugged, quickly moving off to pester Lydia who had been sharing too smug of a look with Delia in his opinion. 

Adam and Barbara happily took a closer look at Delia’s garden, Barbara giving Delia more tips, which the older woman happily noted for her next gardening day. Lawrence managed to snag Lydia’s camera from her and she chased him around the backyard to get it back, while he snapped random, blurry photos and cackled. He didn’t notice the fond looks the Maitlands shot him, or the blushes that started to grow on their cheeks when he suddenly stopped to catch and swing Lydia onto his shoulders, the surprised teen laughing and snapping even wilder photos as they went. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aw this sure was a nice, wholesome chapter. Nothing could go wrong :)  
> Are the Maitlands starting to develop pleasant feelings for Beej??? What a wacky idea.  
> The radio was playing the song “Black Waters” by the doobie brothers, btw. Did you know I made a whole ass playlist for this [fic](https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLrx8afpYrycWAZ85hMonim2FNI9_KZJIs)? Wild.  
> If you ever have a question or want to say something, you can find me [@daydreaming-jessi](https://daydreaming-jessi.tumblr.com/) if you want ^w*  
> Edit: me, subtly making everything about beej sad? It’s more likely than you think.


	19. Somewhere Beyond the Sea, Somewhere Waiting for Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beetlejuice has a dream.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally posted April 13th, 2020, edited February 15th, 2021

The wind creaked outside his window, and his room was pitch black, not that it really affected his eyesight. Lawrence stared up at the ceiling, flexing his hands. They still tingled from Adam’s and Barbara’s touch. This was a similar scene, didn’t he do the same exact bullshit that night he’d been summoned away? How pathetic could he be? Lawrence rolled over, clutching the pillow tighter to his chest. 

Why would they ever want to hold his hands? He almost ruined their afterlives. He’d seen how worried Adam would be for Barbara sometimes, how they would get that look in their eyes whenever one of them flipped to the wrong page of their handbook. He was surprised they hadn’t torn it out. He was surprised they had forgiven him. 

...But had they? His stupid brain always asked that question. He’d sort of dumped the exorcism in with everything else that had happened, but exorcism was kind of serious. It was painful, messy,  _ scarring _ . Lawrence knew that personally, he still felt the phantom itch of a limb long gone from his own experiences. Could Barbara and Adam  _ really  _ have forgiven him for that? He couldn’t be sure. 

Lawrence sighed at how much his mind was turning, wishing it had happened earlier when he could’ve snuck off to Charles‘ office, rather than uselessly dwell on these thoughts now. Lately, after the talk they had during the kidnapping rescue, Lawrence found himself starting to drift to Charles’ office whenever he needed a moment of peace. Charles was happy to let Lawrence wander around the room as he tried to quiet down his thoughts. Sometimes Lawrence would take interest in the work Charles was doing, sometimes he’d take interest in the photos on Charles’ desk instead, and sometimes he’d just sit on one of the extra chairs in there and listen to Charles type on his strange laptop thing, watching the trees gently shake with the wind outside. 

Charles was a stoic man, still not all too big on sharing emotions, and there was a comfort in that for Lawrence. Knowing that he could just hide out in Charles' office and just feel without having to tell the older man what he was feeling, letting the noise bleed away into the quiet air, until Lawrence could finally breathe again. 

Even thinking about the act was starting to help slow his mind down. Maybe Lydia was right. Maybe Charles wasn’t as bad as Lawrence had thought. Can’t let that kid know she was right though, she’d be smug about it for weeks...

Wait. 

Lawrence looked around confusedly. He was in a dark, empty void of a place, where nothing existed besides him. He started to move, when suddenly, a pain he’d only experienced once before split through his chest. 

He choked on the scream of pain trying to billow out, and looked down to see a familiar rod lanced through him. Pain, worse than any he’d experienced before in his un-life, radiated from it. Lawrence shakily turned his head, but no one was behind him, only the bad art that was now holding him in place. 

“ _ Did it hurt really bad? _ ” Lydia’s question rang through the void. 

Lawrence breathed heavily through clenched teeth, scrabbling to push the rod back out, as he had before. It was somehow stuck in place, though, refusing to even budge. 

Chains rattled in the dark, before launching out and shackling Lawrence’s arms, yanking them away and preventing any further attempts at escape. He shrieked as the rod was jarred further by the movement, making the white hot pain searing through his lungs ice cold. 

“Please, please,” he panted. Whether he was begging for mercy or release he wasn’t sure, he just wanted this to  _ stop _ . 

Familiar heels clicked on hard flooring, making his heart seize up with fear. Lawrence looked up to see Juno walking towards him, cigarette in one hand, the other shoved into a pocket. “What have you gotten into this time?” She growled, her voice shoving broken glass like pieces of fear into his brain. 

“M-mom, mom please, please, help,” Lawrence whimpered, feeling so small again, as he always did in her presence. 

Juno looked at him coldly. “You got yourself into this, you need to get yourself out.”

“Please, please, for once! For once, won’t you just help me?” Lawrence begged. He could barely think. He was choking now, struggling for air. He didn’t need to breathe, but his body was panicking, nothing was thinking straight. 

“For god's sake, Beetlejuice, be a man,” Juno hissed, grabbing the air. Lawrence cried as an invisible force thrust his head down, trying desperately to pull away from the painful grip. Juno shook her head, and Lawrence was released. “Pathetic. That's what you’ve always been. I tried so hard to make you stronger, but you never listen, do you?” She asked. 

“I try, I try Mom, I swear I do,” Beetlejuice stared at the floor, that familiar feeling of shame burning a hole in his guts, settling heavily on his shoulders. 

“...if this is you trying, then do everyone a favor, Beetlejuice. Give up now.” Juno took a long drag of her cigarette and smoke flowed out through her sliced jugular, making Lawrence’s esophagus burn as the familiar secondhand acrid burn raced down into his blood filled lungs. Lawrence wheezed and hacked, struggling to breathe, tears sprouting in the corners of his eyes. Juno was gone, leaving him alone in the void. 

The pain in his chest was dully thrumming throughout his body, even to the tips of his fingers. “Please… please…” Lawrence wheezed. It was getting so hard to breath. Hard to think with the cloud of pain hazing his mind. Why won’t he just die already? “Dad… please… for once...” 

There was no one to answer to his plea. 

“ _ What are you talking about? I want to find my mom _ !” 

Lydia’s reverberating voice was so cold, did it sound so harsh when she said that? It was getting hard to remember. 

Lawrence winced. “Stop it,” he hissed at the cold void. It didn’t seem to appreciate being ordered around, though. 

“ _ You wanted me gone _ .” 

Oh god no. 

“ _ You wanted your mom _ .” 

He said he was sorry! They had to believe him! He knew he messed up! 

“ _ You messed with the wrong book now look what you’ve done! _ ” 

Barbara’s scream echoed through the void. Lawrence doubled over, shuddering. “Stop it, stop it!” He felt liquid in his eyes. What was that? 

“ _ Demon! I command thee! _ ” 

Lawrence looked up. This was familiar. A priest, what was his name, Father Vermish? He was holding a cross out to Lawrence, fat load that did. No, the true problem was the book Vermish was holding. That… 

“ _ Leave this house! In the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, I banish thee! _ ” 

Lawrence momentarily wondered if Vermish knew he was Jewish. Would he go get the proper script? Repeat the proper text as he undid Lawrence’s entire existence? 

Vermish began to read out the Latin phrases, and Lawrence hissed as a searing heat began to close in around him. He saw another pair of his arms were visible and splayed out, hands nailed into an invisible wall. His fingernails were fully grown out into the sharp claws they usually were when he left them unchewed, but they were starting to disappear into dust. Lawrence struggled against the hammered in nails, jostling the bad art, and making him gasp in pain. He was so stupid, letting himself get trapped like this. He had to get out, stop the exorcism before it was too late, and he couldn’t pull himself back together. No one else was going to help him, after all. He had to do it on his own. Like always. 

Vermish’s voice changed, became higher pitched and younger. Lawrence looked back up and saw it was Lydia reading the passage  _ he  _ had told her to read, when he said it’d bring back her dead mother. “Lyds, Lyds wait,” he choked. Lydia paid him no mind, she kept reading the book. “Lydia, stop!” She was in the red wedding dress, her eyes milky white, he could see the others hidden in shadow behind her, Adam, Barbara, Charles, Delia, white eyes staring at him emotionlessly. The burning was working its way down his arms, he could see the dust as his form began to unstitch itself, his soul starting to fade away into the void. 

Lawrence struggled against all of his restraints, biting his tongue against his cries of pain. Blood began to fill up his mouth, metallic and salty, just like when Lydia had stabbed him. He wrenched against the nails and chains, the walls behind him creaking. He ground out a yell and gave one last final pull, and was now free. He fell forward, and the Latin stopped, like a needle had been thrown off the record. He panted, spit filled with red and black blood as it dripped from his maw. 

“ _ Do you think you can pay for your sins, child? _ ” A rough old voice asked him. Lawrence looked up dazedly once more. An old woman wrapped in inky, color shifting robes stood tall over him. A part of him thought he recognized her, but she was unknowable. 

He swallowed down the rising blood and bile. “No,” he whispered. 

“ _ Do you wish too _ ?” The woman asked. 

“I… I don’t know,” Lawrence shook his head, wanting so  _ desperately  _ to push the goddamn rod out of his chest. How was it burning even more now?

A hand placed itself on his shoulder. Lawrence struggled to lift his head up, when did it gain a thousand pounds? 

“ _ Do you think they would catch you if you fall from this path you travel upon _ ?” The old woman asked. 

The floor began to melt under Lawrence. He fell away from the old woman, tumbling down, down, down, faster, faster, the wind was whistling around him. He squeezed his eyes shut, not wanting to see the oncoming ground. Water splashed and roared under him for a moment, but then cotton filled his ears, and he was sinking slowly now. 

He was in the ocean, it’s deep yawning abyss was calling to him, calling him back, but he could see the house, the Deetz-Maitland home above the surface, shining like a lighthouse in the stormy night. Lawrence reached a hand out to it desperately, tried to yell, call out to the others, but freezing cold water filled in his lungs, mixing with the blood, smoke, and tar into a painful, disgusting brew. Bad art was an anchor, pulling him further away from home, and closer to the cold, lonely dark beneath him. 

“ _ Who will you trust with your old, weary heart, little thing? How long will you keep going, until you give up finally? _ ” The old woman’s voice echoed around him. 

His chest hurt so bad, his head was pounding with the increasing pressure, the light of the surface was shrinking before him, he was losing himself as thousands of whispers and unbreaking silence began to fill his eardrums, pressing into his decaying brain. He was sinking, sinking, sinking, his home was fading from sight… 

Lawrence bolted up in his bed. The blankets were kicked to the floor, smeared with black and green. Lawrence stared at them, sucking cold air into his aching lungs with troubled gasps. His chest burned. He looked down, and stared wide eyed at the hole he tore open in the shirt, at the ripped up skin around the round scar, marking the spot that killed him. His fingers were encrusted with his unnatural blood, his claws, once chewed away to the quick before, now as sharp as cat claws, the culprit of this whole mess. 

Lawrence looked back to the sheets, heart pounding, head dizzy with growing dread. He needed to fix this. Before anyone found out. Before they saw what a fucked up mess he really was. Before they kicked him out for ruining everything again. 

Guess this is what he gets for pissing off fish with human mouths in random rivers…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh god things have gone wrong  
> You can, uh, find me on tumblr [@daydreaming-jessi](https://daydreaming-jessi.tumblr.com/)  
> Edit: I’m sad and tired and don’t want to work, so y’all get some bonus chapter updates


	20. Are You Awake?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Delia wakes up from noises in the night, and finds Beej in the kitchen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally posted April 17, 2020, edited February 15th, 2021

Delia scrunched her face up before opening her eyes. She looked around the dark bedroom confusedly, wondering what could’ve woken her up. She didn’t feel like she was in the middle of a panic attack, her breathing was fine, her heart wasn’t pounding and her head wasn’t dizzy, in fact Delia felt pretty good, if not a little groggy from the late hour. She hadn’t had a panic attack in quite a while, in fact, which was good. She was proud of that. 

It wasn’t Charles struggling with another grief or stress stricken dream, he snored away next to Delia peacefully, curled into her like a giant, loving teddy bear. Delia smiled and pressed a loving kiss to where his beard met his hairline. Yes, they both were fine tonight. 

She didn’t hear any further noise, so it wasn’t Lydia. If she was having a bad night, it would become obvious enough that the entire house would know by now. And Lydia hadn’t had a bad night in a while, her therapy had helped her long since process the things that haunted her in the quiet dark of sleep. 

The square, black clock on Charles’ bedside table read 4:27 in red illuminated, blocky numbers. Nothing seemed out of place in their room…. What was it that woke Delia up? 

Something clattered downstairs, ringing throughout the old, sleeping house. That must’ve been what woke her up. Was it Sandy? Did she unplug her heating lamp by accident again and was throwing another tantrum about her missing heat? 

Curious, Delia slipped out of bed, careful not to disturb Charles as she went. She pulled her silk, flower print bathrobe on and made her way out to the hallway, the cold wooden floorboards giving way to the warmer runner carpet. 

She didn’t see any sign of disturbance until she got to Lawrence’s room. His door was wide open, with the demon nowhere inside. Delia’s heart fluttered with a familiar fear, but she forced herself to remain calm. “He’s just downstairs, he’s  _ just _ downstairs, he’s not missing again,” she quietly told herself as she went on. 

She descended to the first floor, and saw what caused at least one of the clatters. One of the pictures had been knocked off the wall, the one taken when Lydia was just born. Charles was holding her, her tiny, red face squished into a frown, as if she were scowling at the picture taker, wisps of blond hair framing her apple cheeks, while Charles looked down to her with warm, adoring eyes. Every time she saw the photo, Delia felt a warmth blossom in her chest. What was it doing on the floor? 

Hurried footsteps padded towards her from the kitchen. Delia looked up and Lawrence froze in place, caught. “I was going to fix it,” he whimpered. His hair was a mess, white and purple locks sticking out everywhere, and his clothes...

Delia gasped, placing her hands over her mouth at the blood, torn cloth, and deep gouges lacerating Lawrence’s chest. “What happened?” She quickly moved closer to him, the picture frame long forgotten. 

But Lawrence took a quick step back from Delia’s approach. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’ll fix it, I swear I’ll fix the picture. Please don’t kick me out-“ 

“Lawrence I don’t give a damn about that picture right now! You’re bleeding, oh my god, sit down!” Delia took Lawrence’s arm, and stared in horror at his also heavily bleeding fingers. She kicked into what she could only describe as parent mode. She sat Lawrence down in the kitchen, the fluorescent lights he left on humming quietly above them. She then rushed to the bathroom, pulling the emergency kit out from under the sink along with a hand towel she quickly wetted with hot water. 

Back into the kitchen she went, where she found Lawrenve gnawing on his now strangely sharp fingernails on his uninjured hand, too carelessly with such sharp teeth in Delia’s opinion. Now she at least had an idea of what happened to his fingers. “Stop, you’ll hurt yourself,” Delia gently laid a hand on his shoulder. 

Lawrence flinched involuntarily. “I kind of already did Daisy,” he muttered, refusing to look up. 

Delia wasn’t sure how to respond, and instead sat down in the chair next to him while pulling his hands into her lap to protect them from further damage. “Can I?” Delia asked, gesturing with the towel towards his chest. Lawrence stared at her wide eyed with confusion, before giving a slow, jerky nod. She pushed the tattered cloth away from the scratches on Lawrence’s chest and began to gently dab the dark demonic blood away. Lawrence winced and let out a hiss. 

“Sorry, am I going too hard?” Delia asked, pausing in her work. 

Lawrence startled, slight streaks of yellow starting to color his still white and purple hair. “I… I-it’s fine,” he mumbled. 

“Let me know if I’m going too hard. Charles is better at this sort of thing than I am,” Delia more carefully went back to dabbing the blood away from the wounds. Lawrence remained silent, staring unseeingly at the floor, expressionless. Delia swallowed the pang of fear that rose in her throat, trying to shove away the memory of such a similar expression haunting Lydia’s face constantly before. 

As the blood was dabbed away, Delia noticed that the scratches seemed to avoid a single area in the center of the wound. It was a darker colored patch of scarred skin, and the placement of it seemed to be right where… Delia felt guilt clench her heart. 

It was such a stressful time that day, her world had been shattered from Kevin’s reveal, her fear and panic almost inconsolable the longer Charles and Lydia were missing, and then they were getting Lydia ready for  _ marriage  _ at the age of fifteen, and then there was screaming, the smell of blood, and a dissolving corpse on their floor. She didn’t know what to think of it, but she knew one thing for certain. She wished they found a different way to stop Lawrence than killing him. Delia’s lips thinned from the dark thoughts. 

“I’m sorry…” 

Delia snapped back from the memory to see Lawrence’s hair a deep shade of blue and purple, his head bowed low. “What do you mean, hun? What do you have to be sorry for?” Delia asked gently. 

Lawrence’s shoulders hitched higher, his hair darkening. “I… I shouldn’t… you shouldn’t have to do this, it’s fucking up your towel and bathrobe and shit,” he said. 

Delia looked down to the robe and towel. They were smeared with dark green. “They’re just cloth, sweetie. You’re hurt, and needing help pretty badly if I have things right,” Delia tried to catch Lawrence’s eye, but he resolutely looked off to the side, his eyebrows deeply knitted together. 

“I fucked up your sheets. I tried to rinse them off, but…” he nodded to the sink, where his blankets were resting, Delia finally noticed. 

“It’s ok. We’ll try to fix them later, and if we can’t, we’ll just get new ones,” Delia replied, setting the towel down. She grabbed the bottle of peroxide and a cotton ball. “Can I?” She asked once more. Lawrence eyed the items, but nodded again. 

Delia gently began to dab at the wounds. Lawrence sucked a breath in and held it, watching as Delia carefully disinfected the wound. When she was finished, Delia took another look at the scratches. 

The whole scale of the scratch site was about the size of the palm of her hand, the scratches were puffy, slightly irritated, and oozing just a bit of blood, but they looked no worse than a scraped knee. She wasn’t sure she had a bandage big enough to cover it, but there was gauze and medical tape. Once more she dug into the emergency kit and once more she looked to Lawrence. “Can I?” She asked, nodding to the chest. Lawrence gave a more firm nod this time, starting to get the idea. Delia set the gauze in place, and taped it on. “Just until it’s a little more calm,” she explained, and finally turned to Lawrence’s hands. 

His left hand was quite bloodied. The nails were chewed down indiscriminately, several deep into the quick, causing the now sluggish flow of blood. Delia managed to stop Lawrence when he got to his right thumb, and no damage had been done yet, but there was still blood under his fingernails. Delia finally saw the culprit for his scratches. 

She carefully placed his left hand on the table. “Don’t chew on them,” she warned. Lawrence let out a breathy snort, but it seemed amused, rather than offended. 

Delia picked up the towel and headed to the sink, where she further saw the damage done to them. Once again there was green and black blood smeared on the white and pale blue covers, but it was much larger than what a simple nosebleed would cause. Maybe peroxide would help, but that wasn’t a concern right now. 

Delia rinsed the washcloth off, wetting it once more with hot water, before turning back to Lawrence. He watched her with cautious eyes, his hair more yellow than purple now, thankfully. Delia sat back down, and took Lawrence’s hand. He nodded, now on top of things. 

Delia carefully wiped the blood, nail polish bits and spittle away carefully, though Lawrence still hissed in pain, understandably. Hands were sensitive. 

They went through the same process with the peroxide and bandaging, and it was only when the last finger had been cared for that Delia looked up to Lawrence expectantly. “Do you want to talk?” She asked. 

Lawrence’s eyes cast away, and he stared shamefaced at the floor. “No. I’m fine,” he said resolutely. Delia could hardly believe that. She thought for a moment, and got up again, heading to the fridge this time. “What’re you doing?” Lawrence asked slowly. 

Delia pulled the coconut milk out, along with the secret tub of rocky road ice cream Charles and Lydia hid, along with her special treat of frozen raspberry vegan yogurt. She poured the milk into a pot to boil, and out came two spoons, a container of hot cocoa, and two mugs, all of which Delia set out on the table. 

“When I was young, if I ever had a bad night, my dad and I would drink something hot and eat ice cream as fast as we could before we got a brain freeze. It took my mind off things,” Delia said, peeling the lids off the frozen treats. She handed Lawrence the Rocky road, and a spoon. 

Lawrence looked between the items confusedly. “I… but I fucked up, I shouldn’t-“ 

“Lawrence. Don’t ever think you should withhold food from yourself as a punishment,” Delia cut in, uncharacteristically serious. Lawrence stared at her wide eyed for a moment, before looking back down to the ice cream again. Slowly he began to eat it. 

The milk soon was steaming, and Delia prepared the hot cocoa. She set a mug in front of Lawrence, keeping one for herself and she began to enjoy her frozen yogurt. Silence filled the kitchen, Lawrence stabbing at the ice cream, Delia enjoying the peaceful moment. 

“Are you going to tell everyone else?” Lawrence eventually asked, staring at the ice cream. 

“If you want me to,” Delia replied, taking a sip of the cooling hot cocoa. 

“How’re you gonna explain the mess if I don’t ‘want you to’?” Lawrence pointed to the bled upon items. 

“I don’t know. I’m sure it won’t matter too much, though. They’ll care more about if you’re okay,” Delia said, warming her hands on the mug. 

Lawrence stared at the sheets for a long moment, his brow scrunched up in thought. 

“Should probably find you a new sleep shirt. Hopefully luck will change and you’ll get to wear your clothes out normally,” Delia noted, thinking of the other clothes that had been ruined when Lawrence had been kidnapped. 

Lawrence winced and stared shamefaced into the ice cream. “S-sorry,” he muttered. 

Delia shrugged. “It’s just a shirt. I care more about the demon wearing it, honestly. I’m sure there’s another one you can use somewhere in the closet,” she smiled reassuringly. 

Lawrence started and looked back up to her confusedly. “But… but  _ I _ fucked this up,” he plucked at the shirt meaningfully. 

Delia raised a brow. “On accident,” she replied. At least, she hoped it was all an accident. Her heart sank at the idea that Lawrence might have hurt himself like this on purpose. 

“Well still, I ruined it. It… it’d be a waste to get me a new shirt just for me to mess it up again,” he tried to explain. 

Delia’s brow furrowed worriedly. “Lawrence, we're not going to force you to go without clothes just because you tore a shirt up,” she said slowly. Lawrence still looked bewildered. Delia raised a hand to her chest as a horrific thought occurred to her. “Did… did Juno not give you new clothes when you needed them?” 

“Well… yeah. It was my punishment for not being careful with my stuff. I was lucky with the things I had been given. She didn’t want to waste clothes if I was just going to destroy them,” Lawrence shrugged. 

“So, so, what, she was just going to let you run around exposed to the elements in the Netherworld?” Delia felt outrage begin to curdle up her stomach. 

“I’m dead, D. It didn’t matter.” 

“That’s not the point! It’s the principle of the whole thing! She was your sole caretaker, it’s her job to keep you dressed! Is this why you’re so afraid about the sheets and blood? No, of course it is, she punished you for wearing clothes like a normal person, when daily wear and tear happens, heaven forbid you accidentally dirty something up, like by getting hurt and  _ bleeding _ like people do. I shouldn’t be surprised, should I?” Delia was scowling, actually  _ scowling  _ now. Lawrence looked shocked. 

“I… I’m careless. Doesn’t matter if I did it on purpose, I ruin shit, D. Ma didn’t want to take care of that 24/7,” he tried. 

“You were young. Everyone is careless when they’re young, that’s how they learn to care. Why are you defending her? You said so yourself, she’s an awful demon of a woman,” it was Delia’s turn to look confused. 

“Well, yeah. But… but I am too, you know?” Lawrence looked down to the table, where his hands were clenched tightly together, his knuckles stretched white. His throat hurt, and his head began to ache with the memories of his dream, but he forced on a bitter smile. “I… I tricked Lydia into almost exorcising Barbara. I tried to force her to  _ marry _ me. Tried to kill y’all a bunch of times. I was so fucking awful you all had to kill me to get me to stop. Mom’s a demon, yeah, but… but so am I.” 

A heavy silence filled the kitchen, but then Delia reached out and put a comforting hand over his. “I’m so sorry.” 

Lawrence jolted and looked up to see tears sprouting in the corners of Delia’s eyes. “W-...what?”

“I’m sorry. So sorry. You may have done bad things, but that doesn’t mean you should have been treated badly from the day you were born! No one’s born bad, Juno had no right to abuse you all your life. You were hurting and lashing out and needed  _ help  _ when you met us for who knows how long, and I’m so sorry that we couldn’t get you the help you needed then,” Delia struggled to hold her tears back. It wouldn’t do to blubber all over the poor demon. 

“I… I fuck up all the time, though. Tried to stab you guys like five seconds into being alive, after all. Don’t I deserve the shit I get?” Lawrence asked. 

“No one  _ deserves _ to be hurt, Lawrence. In the end, it wasn’t a punishment that made you appreciate life and protect Lydia, but the gift of being alive, wasn’t it?” 

Lawrence looked down at the table again, mulling over these thoughts. 

“Lawrence, you don’t need to keep punishing yourself. You don’t need to keep saying sorry. The past has long since been over. Now it’s time to move on. Hell maybe we should apologize to you,” Delia considered. 

“You already let me bum here, so... And to be honest, I don’t know if the Maitlands have forgiven me completely for the whole almost exorcising Barbara thing, I dunno if I would if I were them,” Lawrence replied, fidgeting his fingers. 

“Maybe you should talk to them and find out, rather than thinking and guessing what they’re feeling,” Delia suggested gently, wiping the flecks of tears from her eyes with her other hand. She looked over to his nails thoughtfully, changing the subject to lighter matters finally. “I didn’t know your nails could look like that.” She noted how long and pointy they were now. 

“Yeah, I chew on them. Nasty habit, among many,” Lawrence said absentmindedly, curling his hand up to examine his nails. 

“Dangerous, too. Your teeth are so sharp, I’m not surprised you hurt yourself. If you don’t like them long, I can help you cut them,” Delia offered. 

“I… I guess I don’t really care about the length? I just… my mouth needs to do  _ something  _ when I’m too full of energy. The best way to keep from running it off and being obnoxious when I’m nervous is by chewing on my nails,” Lawrence explained. 

“Maybe you should try chewing on something else. Wouldn’t want a repeat of this, would you?” Delia asked, motioning to the bandaged fingers. 

Lawrence shrugged. “I tried to break it by painting them, but I never tried… chewing on other things. I mean, I’m not some kind of dog.” 

“No, but people are different. Some folks have the need to chew on stuff. See?” Delia pulled out a phone and showed Lawrence bright, colorful toys. 

“S...st...stiiii,” Lawrence leaned forward, squinting his eyes as he struggled to read the colorful text at the top of the screen, shifting and squiggling before her eyes. 

“Stim toys,” Delia patiently said. 

“The hell is that?” Lawrence asked, leaning back embarrassedly. 

“It’s what some autistic people or people with attention disorders use to help them. If you want, we can get you one, see if it helps you with your moments,” Delia said. Lawrence crossed his arms, and shrugged. 

“I… I don’t care,” he said, refusing to make eye contact to hide the curiosity and smallest hint of ‘I actually really want one of those’ in his eyes. 

“I think you’ll like it,” Delia smiled, picking out a light green star shaped chew necklace to purchase. Lawrence was quiet as Delia filled out the shipping information, until he mumbled something too quietly for her to hear. “What was that?” Delia asked, looking up from her phone. 

“I,” Lawrence ducked his head, hair a bright pink, “I said… no one really… got me stuff… before,” he muttered. 

Delia frowned, before gently squeezing his arm with a smile. “I’m happy to get you a gift Lawrence,” she said reassuringly. Lawrence blinked, and found he had no quips to give to that. Delia had left him speechless. “Now. Let’s see if we can’t fix those sheets,” Delia said brightly, standing up. 

“‘Kay,” Lawrence replied, following her lead. 

The sheets ended up being salvageable. Delia and Lawrence easily remade his bed, Delia got him a new night shirt, and the old one was thrown away. 

When Charles woke up that morning, he found Delia and Lawrence snoozing on the couch, the demon curled up next to her, his hair a deep green, while Delia kept an arm around his shoulder, gently cupping his head, almost as if she were protecting him. Charles covered them with a blanket before going on to get ready for work. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Does this make up for last chapter? Did the mother-son feels between Delia and Beej make up for last chapter’s pain?  
> You can give me your answers over on tumblr [@daydreaming-jessi](https://daydreaming-jessi.tumblr.com/)
> 
> Ps: for anyone wondering, the star necklace I described is based off [these](https://www.etsy.com/listing/250962893/star-chewiestim-necklaces?ga_order=most_relevant&ga_search_type=all&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_search_query=stim+toy&ref=sr_gallery-1-2&bes=1&col=1)!  
> Edit: ah, my favorite chapter. Made even better =w=


	21. A Mother Like You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lydia and Barbara have a moment together. Then Lydia and Beej paint their nails. It’s a real spa day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally posted April 20th, 2020. Edited February 18th, 2021

“Has Lawrence been acting strange to you?” Barbara asked as she stepped into the attic. 

Adam looked up from the model house he was currently painting the finish on. “Strange?” He echoed. 

“Yes, strange. He keeps avoiding me whenever I go talk to him, it’s almost like we’ve gone back to when he first came here and was avoiding us,” Barbara explained. 

Adam sat back and thought for a moment. “He has seemed tense,” he finally agreed. 

“We should go talk to him. I miss the ghost lessons.” Both of the ghosts took pause at that. Saying they missed something that had to do with Lawrence was odd, and unimaginable so long ago. How things change...

“Let’s see if we can talk to him after dinner,” Adam finally said, breaking the silence. Barbara nodded, when the sound of pounding footsteps climbing up the stairs, and an excited knock at their door. “Come in,” Adam called to the knocker, setting the house model down. Seems he was going to have to finish it later. 

Lydia entered, a gleam in her eyes and a familiar small box clutched in her hands. “Hey Barbara, wanna dye my hair today?” She asked excitedly. 

“Oh! Yes, of course. Want to get started now?” Barbara said, setting the problem of Lawrence aside. Lydia nodded her head quickly, bursting with energy. 

“School starts tomorrow, doesn’t it?” Adam thought aloud. 

“Ugh, yes, don’t remind me. Stepmom told me I should get to bed early tonight so I don’t end up being a monster to wake up tomorrow,” Lydia groaned, rolling her eyes. 

“Well, you aren’t exactly the biggest fan of mornings,” Barbara pointed out as she walked over to Lydia. She stuck her tongue out in response, to which Barbara pinched her cheeks back in retaliation, making Lydia laugh as she ducked away. 

“Nervous? It is a new school after all,” Adam asked with a reassuring smile. 

Lydia shrugged. “I mean, I’m a sophomore now. It’s not like it was back in elementary or middle school,” she replied casually. 

“Maybe, but that doesn’t mean you aren’t nervous,” Barbara said teasingly. 

“No, I’m not nervous,” Lydia replied flatly, rolling her eyes. Adam and Barbara only grinned teasingly, making the teen huff, but there was a smile tugging at the corner of her lip still. 

Lydia dragged Barbara out of the attic, excitement buzzing off the teen like electricity. “We should do this in my bathroom, so the parentals don’t freak about a stained tub,” she said as they went. 

“Good idea. The last time I did this with my friend, we turned her bathroom neon blue. She got grounded for a month and my parents forced me to help clean it up,” Barbara recalled fondly. 

“Wow, young Barbara was a real rabble rouser,” Lydia snickered, opening her bedroom door. 

“Hush you. Now, what’s the first step?” Barbara asked as they stepped into the teen’s room. 

Lydia gestured to the box in Barbara’s hands. “We’ll want to get rid of the black, or else the purple won’t show up at all.” 

“Oh trust me, purple shows up no matter how much you don’t want it to. What’re we talking about?” Lawrence spoke up, laying out on the end of Lydia’s bed on his back, his legs stuck straight up into the air. Not a very comfortable looking position, but he was a levitating demon. 

Barbara jumped, startled by the demon, while Lydia looked over to him nonplussed. “What’re you doing in here?” she asked. 

Lawrence stuck one of his hands up, waving it around sporadically. “My nails are fucked up, I wanna paint them, and you said I can't touch your stuff without your permission anymore,” he replied. 

“You can’t touch my stuff because you keep gluing it to the ceiling,” Lydia reminded him, moving over to her bedside table and pulling out a few bottles of nail polish. 

“I resent that accusation, I don’t ‘glue’ things to your ceiling, I’m awesome enough to just will them to stay in place. Gravity is my bitch, and Idina Menzel wishes she was me,” Lawrence grinned. He then noticed Barbara staring at him oddly. “What’s up? See something you like?” He asked with a salacious smirk, shifting up into a sitting position, ever so slightly leaning away in discomfort. 

Barbara stepped closer, looking intently at his hands. “What happened?” She asked, carefully cupping her hand close to the bandages wrapped tightly around his left hand. Had his fingers been like that long? How hadn’t she noticed before? 

Lawrence quickly snatched his hand back, scrambling away from Barbara. For a tense moment, they stared at each other, Barbara was surprised, but Lawrence’s expression was unreadable for once. 

Then, he blinked, and it seemed whatever spell that had taken place was broken, as he slouched over, refusing to make eye contact. “Nothing you need to worry about. I just need nail polish,” he grumbled, rubbing his hand self consciously. 

“You sure you’re ok, Beej?” Lydia asked, coming to stand next to Barbara. Although she didn’t have a good worried face, people would say Lydia’s worried face was a soft scowl, there was still concern glittering in her dark eyes. 

Lawrence sighed, easily defeated by Lydia’s worry. “I’m good, Scarecrow. I just wanna forget about shit right now and have things be normal for a minute.” He held his right hand out for the nail polish, and Lydia and Barbara saw the now sharp claws on his other hand. 

“Whoa, when’d you grow Nosferatu’s nails?” Lydia stared starry eyed at the nails. 

“Oh! That’s some sharp keratin you’ve got there!” Barbara agreed, starting to calm down from the tense moment. 

“Keratin? Seriously Babs? Anyways, yeah that’s why I need nail polish, ‘s all shitty looking now. So Lyds, give give,” Lawrence made grabbing motions at the small bottle in Lydia’s hands. 

“Does he ever say please?” Barbara said out of the side of her mouth to Lydia. 

“He’s embarrassed by niceties,” Lydia responded. “And hell no, you’ll fuck it up! You think I’m gonna pass up the chance to work with those bad boys?” Lydia’s eyes roamed her new canvas, delighted by the ideas she was already coming up with. 

“Ugh, alright get to it then,” Lawrence groaned, sitting up. 

“After,” Lydia set the polish back on the nightstand, “Barbara and I dye my hair.” 

Lawrence pouted. “How long will that take?” 

“Probably a few hours,” Barbara read the box in her hands consideringly. 

“Uugh, you guys are the wo-orst. That’ll take forever,” Lawrence drew out, flopping back over the bed, and started floating midair above it so he could more easily glare at the two women sullenly. 

“Last I checked, a few hours was a few infinites short of forever,” Barbara glibbed. 

Lawrence narrowed his eyes and pointed a warning finger at her. “I will eat your model paints and start stomping on the roof above you guys at night. Really put your ‘dead people need sleep still’ theory to the test.” 

“Just take a nap to pass the time, dingus. You love naps,” Lydia cut in, grabbing her comforter and tossing it over Lawrence, making it look like a magic act was now being performed in her bedroom. 

“I do love naps,” came Lawrence’s muffled reply. 

Barbara giggled at the floating comforter, reminding her of the failed haunting attempt she and Adam tried. “Sleep well, Lawrence,” she called. 

Lawrence’s reply was only an unintelligible grunt and more shifting under the blankets, which, for some strange reason, made Barbara smile fondly. Odd, it must be Lydia’s excitement rubbing off on her. It had to be. 

The two girls went on into Lydia’s bathroom, where another box sat on the sink countertop, the actual hair dye, ready to be put to use. Lydia considered the box thoughtfully, looking over to Barbara. “Do you think a ghost would need to wear gloves for this? It’s not really possible to stain your hands,” She asked curiously. 

Barbara considered her hands and hummed. “Well, it may be easier for me to focus on touching the gloves than the hair goo itself.” 

Lydia nodded and went to pull the ghost out a pair of rubber gloves while Barbara prepared the color remover. 

Once the gloves were in place, Barbara set to work, concentrating on keeping the gloves on while combing the cold gel through Lydia’s hair. “So why purple? I thought you liked red,” she eventually asked, remembering that the few splashes of color in the girl’s dark closet were usually a shade of red. 

“I do, but I just wanted to have purple hair. It sounded cool,” Lydia explained with a shrug. 

“And not exactly typical, like red hair,” Barbara added after a beat. 

“Yeah, not typical,” Lydia agreed, looking away with a smile. 

When the color remover was evenly spread through Lydia’s hair, Barbara tapped the teen’s shoulder. 

“Ugh, smells worse than Beej‘s suit,” Lydia wrinkled her nose as she pulled the plastic cap over her hair. 

“Really? I can’t smell it,” Barbara raised her eyebrows in surprise. 

“Yeah but you’re a ghost. Can ghosts even smell things?” Lydia asked. 

“Mm, that might be a good point,” Barbara placed her hand onto her chin thoughtfully, considering if she’d really smelled things since she died. 

Lydia studied Barbara for a moment, catching the ghost’s attention and making her cock her head in lieu of a question. 

“Barbara, how’d you and Adam die? I… heard from some other kids that…. you died in this house,” Lydia finally asked. 

Barbara blinked in surprise at the sudden question, before clasping her hands together. “It was a normal day. Adam and I were just going through the motions. We were listening to some music and dancing in the living room, trying not to think about the future… During the song, we jumped close to each other, and the floor… gave in. It’s funny, Adam had just noticed those floorboards creaking a moment before… another thing to add to the list,” Barbara sighed, moving to cover her mouth with one hand and holding her elbow with the other. 

“What list?” Lydia asked carefully. 

Barbara started, as if she forgot Lydia was there. “O-oh, it’s… it’s silly. Just, just a list we had about things to do before… before we could have kids. It was really just an excuse we used to wait longer,” Barbara shook her head at how much denial she and Adam were in about their fears of parenthood before their death. 

“So, you didn’t want kids, huh? Can’t say I blame you,” Lydia hummed, turning away to finally start a timer for her hair, discreetly hiding her face. It wasn’t fair of her to feel hurt by Adam and Barbara not wanting kids…

“Well, maybe? It’s hard to explain. I guess it was because everyone expected us to have a baby. They kept pushing and asking, ‘when are you guys gonna have kids? Have you started trying yet? You only have so long, you know’. We couldn’t go anywhere without one of our friends asking us about kids. But the idea of it,  _ us _ raising a child, by ourselves, it was terrifying. What if we messed up? Really hurt this child before they even had a chance to start their life? What if we were bad parents?” Barbara sighed, leaning against the bathroom sink. Then she looked back to Lydia with bright eyes. “But, you know? Even if we never got the chance to before we died, we still wound up with one pretty cool kid, so. I don’t regret it,” she smiled. 

Lydia’s eyes widened, and she ducked her head with a blush and wide grin. “Cool, huh? Well, guess she’d have to be, having two ghosts as a second set of parents and all.” 

“Oh the coolest.” Barbara cupped Lydia’s cheeks with a loving smile. “She doesn’t care what people think, she’ll do what she wants, and she’s the strongest, bravest person I have had the pleasure of knowing. Makes me proud of her every day,” she finished by twinking Lydia’s nose, and the teen laughed, beaming now. 

“Jeez, mushy much?” Lydia’s shoulders pushed up, emotions warring between embarrassment and joy. 

“I’m the mushiest person you’ve ever met, you’ll just have to accept it,” Barbara replied, pulling over the hair dryer to help warm up the gel. 

“Gross.” Despite her words, Lydia remained smiling. 

….

“Beej. Beej. Wake up and look at my hair, bitch.” 

Lawrence let out a yelp when Lydia pulled the comforter off him, losing control of his levitation and falling to the floor with a loud thump. Barbara jumped at his fall, while Lydia smirked amusedly. 

Lawrence lifted his head up, literally, to glare at them both, a snarky jab on his lips, but it instantly died when he saw the teen’s now dark purple locks. “Shit, you okay, kid?” Lawrence asked, popping up into the air once more with levitation, his head instantly back on his neck. 

Lydia cocked her head curiously. “Yeah? I’m fine,” she replied confusedly. 

Lawrence blinked and rubbed his eyes, his memories starting to come back. “Right, right. Ugh, forget all that. The hair looks good, scarecrow,” he said, ruffling Lydia’s now dark purple hair, his own locks darkening to a more pleasant green. 

“Thanks, Beej.” 

Barbara felt her heart well up at the touching scene. “Turned out better than either of us expected. Now we have two strange hair colored folks in the house,” she noted with a smile. 

“Hey, everyone starts to want green locks when they see how well I work it. Now, can I get my nails painted already? They look hideous,” Lawrence asked again, bringing his nails up to view. 

“Alright, you know the drill. Sit down, and  _ don’t. Move _ .” Lydia headed to her nightstand to grab the nail polish. 

Lawrence flopped into a cross legged sitting position midair, his body floating down like a feather. “Where you going, Babs?” he asked when he saw the ghost leaving, crossing his arms behind his head. 

“It’s almost time to start up dinner, I’m going to go see if Charles wants some help. You two have fun,” Barbara waved goodbye before heading off. 

Lawrence watched after for a long moment, before sighing. “You know I was expecting her to kiss me awake rather than a brat making me fall to the floor,” he said to Lydia with a scowl. 

“What would you have done if she actually did kiss you awake?” Lydia asked, moving to sit across from Lawrence. 

“Uh, kissed her back? Duh?” Lawrence replied. Lydia smirked. Lawrence did not like when she smirked like that at  _ him _ , it was fun when it was at other people being idiotically obtuse, but not him. 

“You would’ve fallen through to downstairs with hair brighter pink than a Malibu dollhouse, wouldn’t you?” She retorted slyly. 

Lawrence scowled at her. “No! I’m suave, I’m not some-some high school kid with a crush!” He shot back. 

“Except you are,” Lydia said, grabbing Lawrence’s hand and started mapping out his new claws. 

“I am not! I’ve fucked most everyone I’ve met, I’m cool as a cucumber shoved up an ass, which I’ve done! I don’t get flustered over a couple of ghosts who give me cute smiles when I say their old record music is kind of cool, or thank me for showing them how to make objects freeze in place so they can work on their dumb model better, I don’t lie awake at night thinking about how their hands feel in mine- Oh my god Lydia I am a fucking wreck,” Lawrence stretched his arm out so he could fall flat on his back without incurring Lydia’s wrath. 

“Oh yeah. You’re in the middle of a pine forest, trying to fight your way out with a dull axe of gross out humor and denial,” Lydia agreed, not even looking up from her painting. 

Lawrence sighed. “They just-! They’re so nice? And they’re nice to everyone? But they’re not just nice, they can be tough as shit too! They could send Ma running for her money if she made them feel they have too! How does that work? And they couldn’t scare a mouse if they tried! How could I, the creepiest ghoul of them all, fall for that? And of course I fall for them, I’m such a loser!” 

“What’s wrong with falling for them?” Lydia asked, carefully laying out a stroke of polish. 

“Because it’s  _ me _ , Lyds. I can’t fall for people. I’m just… people don’t  _ want _ me falling for them, and you know what that’s fine! If people don’t want me to fall for them, then I’ll eat my feelings away! But… but this time it’s not working, and I… I kind of don’t want it to and that’s the worst thing of all,” Lawrence stared up sadly at the ceiling. 

“Then… don’t. Go talk to them. Tell them what you’re feeling, be honest,” Lydia said. 

“Oh sure, and make them hate me all over again. Well, wait, that might actually help,” Lawrence pondered. 

“They won’t hate you. You know they won’t. You can’t assume what they’re thinking,” Lydia told him. 

“You sound like D,” Lawrence sighed. 

“Maybe you should listen to us, then. Stepmom’s gotten a lot better at advice, you know.” Lydia moved on to the next finger. 

Lawrence was quiet for a long moment. “They won’t…” he trailed off inaudibly. 

“Who won’t what?” 

“The Maitlands, they won’t… they won’t ever like me. Why would they? I… I forced Barbara through that exorcism thing.” Lawrence stared at his bandaged hand miserably. 

Lydia froze. “Well… I kind of did that. And they forgave me. At least, I’m pretty sure they did, so I’m sure they’ll forgive you.” She looked down to Lawrence’s hand, slightly shamefaced. The demon snatched his hand away. “Beej! I was working on tha-“

“Lydia. Don’t fucking take the blame for that.  _ I  _ did that, got it?  _ You _ didn’t do that,  _ I  _ did. I tricked you, okay? Don’t feel guilty because of  _ me _ being a piece of shit,” Lawrence gripped Lydia’s shoulders tightly, though he was careful that it didn’t hurt. 

Lydia stared, taken aback, before letting out a breath. “I just… all of that sucked, you know? We fought, and I was a jerk to everyone, and I almost got Barbara  _ killed! _ ” 

“Yeah, but so was I. Probably even a bigger jerk than you. So don’t get all guilty about it. Besides, you really think they’d have a way to fully exorcise ghosts in a handbook for the  _ deceased _ ? That passage was just to help ghosts have a warning to run if they ever heard someone start saying that same sentence.” Lawrence sat back. 

“R… really?” 

“Yeah. All the theatrics was me, kid. She was safe, promise. Big bag of dicks sitting here, remember?” 

Lydia was quiet for a moment, before holding her hand out for Lawrence’s nails again. He complied. 

“Thanks… You know I’m sorry about all that bullshit, right? I know you are, but… I am sorry about it all,” Lydia said. 

Lawrence slowly smiled. “...yeah, yeah I know, Scarecrow.”

“Good.” Lydia nodded, looking relieved. Once more they descended into silence as Lydia fixed up the smudging Lawrence did to his nails. Of course, Lawrence grew bored of the silence fairly quickly. 

Soon enough he was making stupid faces when Lydia wasn’t looking, sprouting extra limbs to poke at her when she was especially concentrated, which Lydia easily swatted at and told him to hold still, until finally he went full force and dug a bandaged finger into her side in retaliation, making Lydia leap away with a cut off squeak. “Bitch!” She did not squeal that, and anyone who says she did is a liar and a dead person. 

Lawrence winced when she slapped his bandaged hand away, making Lydia stare wide eyed at him. “Oh shit, sorry. I didn’t- are you okay?” 

Lawrence sighed, and studied his bandaged hand for a moment. “I think… I think I had a nightmare,” he finally said. 

Lydia, sensing that this was what Lawrence had been building up to this whole time, sat back to listen. “Really?” she prompted. 

“Yeah it...it wasn’t fun. Kind of hated it, in fact. I sort of beat myself up accidentally while it was happening, got some sheets fucked up from my injury and panicked. You know how I chew my nails? Well I kind of went overboard with it, ergo this,” Lawrence waved his bandaged hand, “Woke D up when I was trying to fix everything. She, uh, patched me up.” Lawrence’s hair flushed pink. 

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Lydia asked. 

“You don’t need to worry about me, Scarecrow.” 

“Well that’s wrong. You’re my sibling. That means I’m always gonna worry about you.” 

“You’re, like, four, maybe thirty, kid. You don’t need to worry about a two millennia old demon,” Lawrence said wearily. 

“Sixteen, Beej. And this is what we do. We look out for each other,” Lydia insisted. 

Lawrence glanced away. He couldn’t really say this, it would ruin his tough guy image, but he was starting to feel guilty being the only one who seemed to need looking out for. Lydia had grown up a lot, with the help of therapy and medication. She hardly ever needed him to cheer her up. Then here he was, seeming ready to break down every other minute. How pathetic was that? 

“You have that look in your eyes, the look that says you’re thinking some stupid bullshit about yourself,” Lydia noted, pulling Lawrence back from his thoughts. 

“You know, you’ve changed a lot from when I first met you kid,” he said. 

“Funny, I could say the same about you,” Lydia pursed her lips as she put the finishing strokes on Lawrence’s nails. 

“Pft, yeah no. Sorry, but I’ve always been unstable and moody. Don’t have a mania streak to keep me fun right now,” Lawrence pulled his hand back to study Lydia’s work, preening at the neon poison green swirling on a dark blood maroon landscape. 

“You’re not moody. And as for unstable, I say you’re no worse than me. That’s... not saying much, to be fair. But seriously, you’ve come a long way BJ,” Lydia replied. 

“I guess I’ll have to take your word for it,” Lawrence hummed. He eyed Lydia’s nail polish for a moment, then gave her the puppy eyes. She narrowed her eyes, but easily relented, holding out her hand for Lawrence to paint. She’d just have to deal with him sampling her nail polish as a toll. “Tomorrow, you’re going to school with maggot infested skulls on your nails,” Lawrence grinned. 

“Disgusting. I love it. You know, if you really don’t believe me about how you changed, the Beetlejuice I met would never consider apologizing to the Maitlands about things he did in the past. So,” Lydia shot Lawrence a meaningful look. 

Lawrence sighed through his nose, and took a quick sip of the purple polish. “Dammit, I hate when you have smart thoughts. You make me feel like a chump,” he grumbled. 

“Well one of us has to use the singular brain cell we share, and it’s not ever been you,” Lydia smirked. 

“Just for that, I’m painting your nails hot pink.” 

“You do that, and I’ll divorce you via stabbing again.” 

“God it’s gonna be boring around here when you’re at school,” Lawrence cackled while Lydia grinned. 

“You’ll survive. Now hurry up, dinner’s gonna be ready soon.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So WOW, I had been doing so great, just fine writing this, when I suddenly ran head first into a goddamn writers block wall! I’ve been writing chapters, moving said chapters to the side, rewriting those chapters, SO MUCH UGH. I dunno what happened, everything just went to shit! But I have a tentative plan worked out, I think. Maybe. We’ll see :I  
> You can find me at tumblr here [@daydreaming-jessi](https://daydreaming-jessi.tumblr.com/)  
> Edit: I’m gonna miss the other title for the chapter, but it’s better this way.


	22. Apologies, I Just Wanted to say Sorry.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beej decides to apologize on his own for once. We’re all very proud of him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally posted April 27th, 2020. Edited February 18th, 2021

At dinner, everyone complimented Lydia’s hair. She preened from all the attention, and thanked Barbara again for her help. When the food had been eaten and leftovers put away, Delia went upstairs with Lydia to help her put together her school uniform for tomorrow. Both girls gave Lawrence meaningful looks when they passed him by, which had the demon flipping them off annoyedly. Charles somehow had the good sense to move to the living room to look through some late frantic emails his colleagues had sent, though it was probably not because he sensed the apprehension in the air. 

When he finally found himself alone with the two ghosts doing dishes and one Sandworm looking out the window above the kitchen sink at the possums interestedly, Lawrence knew it was time. “Hey so, um… can I… talk to you guys?” He asked, unsure where to go with this. He was used to talking, he was pretty good at it in fact. He’d talked himself out of every situation imaginable, but he never really got the hang of apologizing. It didn’t help that he was wanting to apologize to two ghosts he was unimaginably whipped for. 

Adam and Barbara looked up from the dishes they were washing in surprise, before exchanging some kind of look that was probably them telepathically communicating to each other. He swore it was, no normal people could so easily know what one another was thinking. 

“Of course, Lawrence,” Barbara said first, habitually drying her hands off with a dish towel. 

“What’s on your mind?” Adam asked as they joined him at the table. 

Lawrence scratched the side of his head, searching carefully for the right words. “So… I’ve been thinking about things recently. I kind of realized that I don’t… I’m not entirely sure if I cleared the air completely about the exorcism thing,” he finally got out. 

Adam visibly stiffened, and Barbara’s eyes widened. She looked over to the kitchen door leading out to the living room, where they could see Charles on the couch reading emails on his phone. “Let’s take this somewhere a little more private,” she decided. 

Barbara grabbed Adam’s hand and headed upstairs to the attic, Lawrence following them both uneasily, myriads of panicked thoughts tumbling through his mind. He wouldn’t back down, though. He needed to do this, lest someone rightfully call him out for being a coward. 

Upstairs, Barbara directed Lawrence to sit on the couch left up in the attic ages ago while she had Adam sit on the old, still dusty armchair and she herself remained standing, subconsciously hugging herself. Lawrence felt a little intimidated by the arrangement, but he bit his tongue about making a stupid joke to try and make himself feel better. Maybe he was getting better, like Lydia said. 

“Now that we have privacy, what is it exactly you wanted to say?” Barbara asked. 

“It’s, uh, kind of something I  _ need _ to say, I think. I… fuck me, okay.” Lawrence took a breath. The couple patiently waited, until Lawrence finally was able to say, “I’m sorry. About the exorcism. I know it sucked really bad, I mean, it’s permanent death. Was real shitty of me to put you guys through that.” Lawrence couldn’t look either of the ghosts in the eye, it was too hard. Instead he eyed a hideous piece of art they hadn’t thrown away yet, his eyes tracing the twisting iron making up the work. 

“Oh,” Barbara breathed. The air was thick with tension. “Lawrence, thank you, but… you already apologized for that,” she sounded confused. 

“Yeah I know, but squishing it together with everything else before just…. didn’t sit right with me anymore. Especially considering I know how painful it is...” 

Adam’s eyes widened. “Were you ever... exorcised?” he asked. 

Lawrence looked up to them for a moment, before scooting forward on the couch for more room. He closed his eyes and concentrated. Four more arms and a stump sprouted along his back. Barbara’s head swam for a moment, Adam felt blood begin to trickle out of his nose somehow, both struggling to comprehend how Lawrence could fit all those extra limbs on his body before he snapped his finger, making the eldritch caused confusion melt away to background noise before it could develop into madness. 

“During bio-exorcisms, things can go wrong. One time I got hit with acidic holy water, another I ended up buried in a silver lined coffin for a little under three centuries.” Adam gasped in horror, and Barbara paled. “But only once have I ever gotten careless enough to be caught by a priest that knew how to properly exorcise a ghost, right into dust,” Lawrence explained, rubbing a hand over the missing space opposite the stump, that the two ghosts realized was once another pair of arms, and a chill fell over them as they began to connect the dots. “The quote in the handbook isn’t enough to  _ actually _ exorcise a ghost, but it’s enough to traumatize you and leave you weary of those words. I mean, it’d be stupid to actually have all the shit needed to have a full exorcism in a handbook  _ for  _ the dead,” he echoed his previous words to Lydia. 

“So… I was never in actual danger of being exorcised?” Barbara asked. 

“Not unless that Kevin Otho guy knew the rest of the text to finish the job. It was still shitty of me to put you through that first bit though,” Lawrence sat back, frowning, as his arms disappeared from the visual plane. “So yeah. I’m sorry. I get it if you can’t forgive me, either of you. Just… I wanted to get that across. Not have it smashed in with everything else I did. Thought you two deserved to hear it,” Lawrence now stared at his socks. He’d only had them a few months and yet already a hole was starting to appear where his big toe rested in one. 

After a moment of silence, Adam spoke up. “I appreciate the second apology Lawrence, but I still don’t understand what made you feel you had to bring it up again.” 

Back to the bad art Lawrence looked, noting the flaking pieces of paint as he spoke. “Just kind of realized that… well I realized you guys were still affected by it, and you never really said if you forgave me for it, so I kind of wanted to make sure you both knew that I… I really am sorry about it,” he shrugged uneasily. 

“We didn’t..? Oh! Oh Lawrence I’m sorry! I guess with everything we sort of forgot about that,” Barbara said, she and Adam exchanging worried looks. 

“It’s whatever, I’m the one apologizing here!” Lawrence replied. 

“It’s not, though! Clearly you feel guilty about it,” Adam insisted. 

They both nodded to one another in silent agreement. “Lawrence, we forgive you,” Barbara spoke, clasping Adam’s hand, who nodded. 

Lawrence swallowed, his throat clicking. So much emotion was in their eyes, and it was directed at  _ him _ . “I, uh… I kind of am almost wondering if you're bullshitting me,” he chuckled nervously. 

“Why would we do that?” Adam asked confusedly. 

“I-I dunno, I guess I’m used to apologizing to Lydia. She usually needs a minute to cool down and forgive me,” Lawrence replied. 

“You’re not wrong about that,” Barbara said quietly. 

“And she can really hold a grudge. Have you seen her hate photo albums?” Lawrence asked excitedly. 

“... Lydia has a hate photo album?” Adam looked quite astounded by this new fact. 

“Not just one.  _ Three _ . Wanna see? I have permission to check it out in case I ever wanna traumatically scar one of her enemies!” 

Barbara’s lips thinned for a moment, but then she smiled, fond amusement sparkling in her eyes. “You two really do have a special friendship.” 

Lawrence shrugged, but there was a smug smile on his face. “Well, I am the ghost with most. All friendships with me are special!” 

“That they are,” Adam agreed, smiling still. 

Lawrence paused, and glanced over to Adam. “What’s that supposed to mean?” He asked, genuinely curious. 

Adam’s eyes widened and he stood up, his spine ramrod straight. Barbara looked over to him worriedly, both of the couple unsure of how to proceed. “Oh, w-well, I just- well I mean I guess you never really did say I just thought- oh!” Adam turned away, covering his face for a minute, before looking back to Lawrence more bravely. “I guess I just kind of mean that after everything, at this point, I’ve kind of assumed that we’re friends, you know? I mean, you’ve been really patient with teaching Barbara and I about our new lives as ghosts, and you actually have been really sweet.  _ Much _ more polite than last time,” he said. 

“Oh, well uh, cool,” Lawrence knew his hair was starting to pinken, but there wasn’t really much he could do to hide it. Maybe he should consider investing into a hat. 

“But I guess we shouldn’t just assume such things, huh? Since, er, we kind of tricked you and killed you and all that,” Barbara stared at the carpet, shame starting to creep into her eyes. 

“I… I did the same, all the trickery and attempted murder, so. Would be hypocritical of me, wouldn’t it?” Lawrence replied, trying to give a crooked grin. 

The two looked back up, hope in Barbara and Adam’s eyes now, and Barbara stepped closer to the couch. “It gets lonely, you know? I think we both understand now why you were so desperate when we first met you. I love Lydia, Charles and Delia. They're so sweet to Adam and me, they help a  _ lot _ ,” Adam nodded in agreement with Barbara’s words, “And of course Adam and I will always be best friends, but… I miss our old friends, and I miss meeting new people. I would go insane if I had no one,  _ and  _ nobody to see me,” Barbara sighed wistfully. 

“You never realize how much you miss going out and seeing other humans until you lose it, I guess,” Adam stepped up to rub her back comfortingly. 

“But since you’ve been here… well it’s been easier. You make things so crazy, I kind of forget that I’m dead sometimes. So, I hope that maybe… we could continue to call you a friend?” Barbara asked. 

Lawrence froze, stared wide eyed at Barbara and Adam in shock. “Y… you… I…” Lawrence swallowed thickly and shook his head until it pounded. “T-that was… that was disgustingly sappy, I’ll have you know. A-and lame! Like,  _ super lame _ . I guess I shouldn’t be surprised though, considering you two-“

“Er, is that a yes?” Adam interjected. 

“Well I guess I have no choice, do I? I mean,  _ someone _ has to be the coolest friend you two have ever had, not that it’ll be that hard I imagine. And since you’ve forgiven me, I guess that means we’re friends. So. Neat,” Lawrence nervously shot finger guns at the ghost couple. 

Barbara and Adam lit up, like this made their day somehow. Lawrence wasn’t sure what to make of that. 

“So uh. I guess that’s that,” Lawrence hummed, standing up himself now. It was one thing to have one person standing over him, but two was too much for his nerves. 

“I’m glad you came to talk to us. I was starting to worry a little, you’d seemed withdrawn recently,” Barbara smiled in relief. 

“Wh- I don’t become withdrawn! That’s shit broody and edgy male love interests do in shitty romance novels. What I do is become chicken shit. Very big difference,” Lawrence replied haughtily, bracing his hands on his hips. 

“And that’s supposed to be better..?” Adam asked, raising an eyebrow. 

“It is, because I’m being honest with myself. And people find honesty sexy. Right A-dog? You know what I mean,” Lawrence suddenly slid up to Adam’s side, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively. 

Adam flushed and rubbed his neck, unsure. “You know I kind of thought the flirting nonsense would slow down with the whole friendship thing,” he said. 

“What’s a little flirting between friends? Barbara never minds it,” Lawrence replied, nodding to her. 

“Well, it  _ is _ nice to hear compliments. And Adam  _ does _ react adorably to being flirted with, so I don’t really want to complain,” Barbara noted, hiding a giggle behind her hand. 

“Barbara!” Adam groaned, his blush worsening. 

“Hey you can’t complain when she tells the truth, Adam! Honesty is sexy remember?” Lawrence slid over to Barbara, throwing an arm over her shoulders as he winked to the struggling Adam. 

“Ok I’m changing the subject now! I remember, you never mentioned it again, but have you gotten those files that Shyanne mentioned before? Maybe we should take a look at them,” Adam suggested. 

Lawrence tensed up minutely, and Barbara looked over to him curiously, but he was already bouncing away before she could ask questions. “Yeah I did, and honestly I kind of forgot that I suck at reading so it’s been a bitch to get through. It’s also dryer than a wife stuck in a loveless marriage  _ and  _ the closet,” Lawrence said, sticking his hand behind his head and somehow pulled a stack of folders out from it. 

“Well, would you like some help? I wasn’t kidding when I offered,” Adam asked. 

Lawrence opened his mouth, paused, and then said, “I was about to say this was super boring and you wouldn’t like it, but then I remembered you guys are super boring and would actually probably like it. What the hell, I’m tired of trying to decipher this crap. Knock yourselves out.” 

Lawrence dropped the folders onto a dust cloth covered coffee table, and Adam and Barbara curiously took closer looks at the papers inside. 

Lists of names with causes of death, places of residence among all other sorts of documentary laid inside the suspiciously stained folders. “This doesn’t seem too bad,” Barbara noted, pulling some of the profiles out of the folders. 

“Maybe for you. I don’t see the appeal of trying to read words when they constantly switch their letters around and refuse to make sense,” Lawrence scowled at the papers as if they had personally insulted him. 

“Wait, switch around..?” Adam looked up confusedly, his reading glasses falling down the bridge of his nose. Lawrence couldn’t stop himself from pushing them back up into place. Adam didn’t react badly, though, and just looked up at Lawrence in mild surprise. 

“Yeah, you know. Letters switch around in words. You can’t really tell what’s supposed to be B or D, or P and Q, little shitty stuff that just adds up and up until you're looking at a page of ink that doesn’t make sense,” Lawrence shrugged. 

The Maitlands stared at him for a long minute, and he was starting to feel uncomfortable. “Hey I’m not lying here! I lie about a lot of things, like how I had nothing to do with the last postal worker quitting, or that I didn’t mistake one of D’s crystals for candy and ate it when I was still half asleep, but I’m not lying about this stupid kind of thing,” Lawrence huffed. 

“No, no, we believe you, it’s just… I didn’t ever consider that demons could be dyslexic,” Barbara quickly reassured Lawrence. 

Lawrence paused, and was starting to feel miffed about how in the dark he was about this generation's new discoveries. First stim toys and now this. “What’s dyslexic? Is it an std? ‘Cause ghosts don’t get those, I already know that-” 

“No dyslexia is a reading disability that makes reading harder for a person,” Barbara cut in, not wanting to get too deep into whatever Lawrence was about to say. 

“...So it’s a thing? It’s actually a thing I’m not ‘making up’?” Lawrence asked, starting to feel surprise build up. 

“Yes it’s a thing. You’re not  _ as _ strange as you thought you were,” Adam said, shooting the demon a kind smile. 

“Well holy fuck. That’s… kind of cool actually,” Lawrence sat down once more on the couch, joining the Maitlands now. He expected them to shove him off, but instead they just looked at him happily, pleased with the information they shared with him and happy to let him into their space. 

He could get used to this friendship thing, maybe it would simmer down his stupid crush. Even if it didn’t, he could still feel free to spend more time with them. That’s what friends did, after all, wasn’t it? Spend time together and hang out? Yes, he was very happy with this. 

The Maitlands continued to look through papers, searching for the name Shoggoth, and Lawrence watched them, his heart fluttering. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Friendship, friendship, friendship, FRIENDSHIP!!!!!  
> Listen this may be cheesy, but dammit I love friendship so much, and Beej deserves all the friends. (This also will allow me to push in SO much more fluff now hehehheeheh)  
> You can come befriend me on tumblr [@daydreaming-jessi](https://daydreaming-jessi.tumblr.com/) just like the Maitlands and Beej :3


	23. Shall We Dance?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s time for Lydia to go to school! Beej misses her and thinks the house is too quiet, and Adam decides to fix it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally posted may 1st 2020, edited February 25th, 2021

Lawrence didn’t know when or how he fell asleep, but somehow he did, and he was too warm to want to get up. He could feel the gray light of morning slide into the room he was in, but he didn’t want to care, for once he wanted to tell his circadian rhythm to fuck off, he was content with sleeping a bit longer. Didn’t matter that he was sitting up for some reason, that the pillow he was protecting himself with was itchy, he felt safe and content. 

Then someone snored. Lawrence’s eyes snapped open and he bolted up to his feet, ready to attack whatever was dumb enough to sneak up on him, when he heard the familiar yelp of the Maitlands behind him. When’d they get into his room? 

Wait.

He wasn’t in his room. 

Lawrence stared at the attic he was still in. Right, when you fall asleep, you tend to fall asleep in the room you were last in, and he didn’t remember making his way down to his room the night before. Lawrence looked over his shoulder guiltily, thoughts whirling. He’s fucked up now. He’s pretty sure personal space did not allow you to fall asleep in other peoples’ rooms, on their couch, next to them. How the hell was he supposed to get out of this? They were going to be pissed at him, and they had just said he was their friend! ‘ _Way to screw it up like always, Beetlejuice!_ ’ A voice that sounded suspiciously like his mother said in his head. 

Adam, who had accidentally slipped off the couch during Lawrence’s race to defense, looked around blearily, blinking confusedly at the couch. “Oh… looks like we fell asleep too,” he said to Barbara, who was rubbing sleep from her eyes. 

“I guess we did. Er, good morning. Is that how you usually wake up?” Barbara asked Lawrence. Where was the yelling? The talk of how he shouldn’t have been in here? Shouldn’t they be mad at him? 

“I… I didn’t… expect to wake up here,” he said uncertainly. 

“Well you kind of did pass out last night,” Adam said, standing up with a stretch. There was a humorous smile on his face, like Lawrence had done a cute trick rather than invade their privacy. 

“I… I guess I’m more used to sleeping than I thought,” Lawrence said gruffly, begrudging his brain for forming such a strange addiction. He’d understand if it desired something cool, like surfing on uprooted coffins in flooded graveyards, but sleep? _Really_? 

“You were so cute, and you looked so cozy, we couldn’t wake you up. I guess it was the right idea, too, since I don’t think either of us lasted long after you,” Barbara noted, pulling her tousled hair back into a ponytail. It wasn’t fair that she could still be so pretty with sleep disheveled hair. It also wasn’t fair that Adam still looked so handsome when his reading glasses had left red imprints on his nose. 

Lawrence looked away, hair probably hot pink at the moment. “I’m not cute, I’m a grown ass demon. Actually I’m pretty sure I wasn’t cute as a kid either now that I think about it. Unless people think dozens of tentacles, eyes and mouths full of misshapen teeth are cute,” he differed, falling back on his usual tactic of jokes that made people creeped out. 

“I never thought of you being a child. Did you have the same baby face as you have now?” Adam asked, stepping close to Lawrence. There was a teasing glint in his eye, and Lawrence could hardly believe that it was Adam teasing him like this. The same Adam who thought dressing _like_ babies would scare breathers away almost a year ago. 

“If I did, it was probably covered in eyeballs. Didn’t really get the whole looking like a human thing down until my dad properly taught me, I think. Kind of hard to remember clearly, a lot of time haze covering up my childhood memories,” Lawrence lazily scratched his stubble covered cheek, struggling to remember something that had happened about two millennia ago. 

“Oh! What time is it? Oh is Lydia still home? We have to say goodbye before she goes to school!” Barbara suddenly realized, and Lawrence suddenly found himself being pushed along with Adam to the stairs by her. 

Lawrence was too tired to walk down stairs like some sort of boring normal person, though, and instead made himself and the Maitlands non-corporeal. Immediately they floated down through the floorboards. Both Maitlands gasped in surprise at the sudden inversion of physics. Adam wheeled his arms out, as if trying to keep his balance, while Barbara shoved her day dress down as if it were affected by gravity. Which it was, now that she thought it was. 

They sank in through the ceiling to the living room at the same time Charles was exiting it to the kitchen. Sandy was stretched out on the back of the couch catching some sun, and Delia was doing her typical morning yoga, but the appearance of three ghosts made her jump, which was not a good thing since she was currently balancing on her head, and thus abruptly tipped over. 

Lawrence easily appeared at her side, pushing Delia back into place like she was some sort of unbalanced vase. “Good morning Delorah, how are you this lovely morning?” he asked innocently, scooting back to give Delia some room as she placed her feet back to the ground to straighten up. Sandy glared balefully at the demon for all the sudden racket. Lawrence tried to placate her by running a finger over her spine, but the Sandworm slithered off to find a less populated sunspot. 

“I swear, I need to put a bell on you! And now you’ve dragged the poor Maitlands into your shenanigans,” Delia huffed, waving a finger at Lawrence warningly, though it was fairly obvious that she was trying to hide her own amusement. 

“We’re so sorry, Delia! We just didn’t want to miss saying goodbye to Lydia before she went off to school,” Barbara quickly apologized, moving to check Delia over and make sure the older woman hadn’t injured herself. 

Delia waved the ghost off with a smile. “Oh I’m used to it. Lawrence has done worse while I was preparing my aura for the day. As for Lydia,” Delia looked to Charles expectantly, who had appeared in the kitchen doorway with his suit jacket tucked over his arm. 

“She’ll take about sixteen more minutes to wake up, then a few more after that to get ready. You’ve got time,” Charles finished, looking around the living room for his tie. He swore he left it on the arm of the couch while he went to grab his jacket. 

Lawrence, who had been fiddling with said tie, snorted. “Sixteen minutes is charitable. Scarecrow usually takes half an hour to emerge from her cave.” He made the tie into a small noose, and looked up to the adults curiously, “You think she’ll appreciate this? Lyds was telling me last night that by the end of the first week of school she was usually ready to kill herself to get out of class.” 

Charles shot Lawrence an unimpressed look as he took the tie back and started to undo the macabre knot. 

The morning went on as typical. The Maitlands helped Delia make a pot of hot granola cereal, Sandy decided to coil up on Barbara’s shoulders for once, shaking up her routine for the week, while Lawrence made mischief by causing the utensils to crawl out of the drawers and start re-enacting a typical slasher horror movie, where a steak knife somehow got ahold of a tiny chainsaw and was mutilating the forks and spoons left and right. Lawrence produced a soda and 3-D glasses from somewhere and was happily watching the scene take place on the countertops from the safety of the kitchen table while the ghosts and Delia worked to avoid the mess of cheap metal and fake blood. 

Charles soon was ready, but Delia still stopped him for a moment to straighten out his tie while telling him about a strange dream she’d had while meditating a couple days ago, Charles watching with a dopey smile. “Wait until the actual wedding, sickos,” Lydia said, appearing in the kitchen dressed up in her altered uniform, setting her book bag down on the table as she went to scrounge up breakfast. 

“I do hope that, if it ever happens, you remember these moments of teasing seconds before you step through the front door with someone special to introduce to us, because I will make you eat crow,” Delia hummed in response, pushing a bowl of hot cereal into the teen’s hands. 

“Lyds you made it just in time to see if the final spoon beats the chainsaw knife-murderer,” Lawrence grinned, the counter before him somehow turned into a sort of makeshift campground made from the things left upon the countertop. 

“Sweet,” Lydia moved to watch the showdown next to him while munching on her granola like there weren't pools of blood threatening to drip off the countertop to the kitchen tiles below in front of them. 

“Seems like you’ve gotten through your uniform woes,” Charles said, looking Lydia’s apparel over. 

“I’m going to send a message today, Daddy. I’m strange and unusual, and if you don’t like it, I’ll stomp you with my boots,” Lydia explained, lifting her foot up pointedly, which was adorned with heavy Doc Martens. 

“Fuck yeah,” Lawrence crowed, still enraptured by the spoon now whacking the steak knife with a toothpick. 

“Please don’t get sent to the principal today. I don’t know if I could take the headache,” Charles sighed. 

“I can’t make you any promises Father. You know this,” Lydia replied, moving over to the coffee machine. She gasped when she saw a tragic sight. “Where’s my coffee? I can’t be asked to socialize without it,” she dramatically clutched the counter the empty coffee pot stood upon. 

“We’ll pick some up on the way, Lydia,” Charles said, smiling bemusedly. 

“You better, or else you’ll end up with her in jail under charges of manslaughter instead of in the principal’s office,” Adam snorted. 

“He’s right,” Lydia agreed solemnly, eying the coffee pot with narrowed eyes, as if she could will coffee into existence. 

“Lydia you’ve already murdered someone, I don’t want you to have a body count,” Charles said wearily as he slung his coat on. 

“Why not? Then I can have actual competition,” Lawrence said. He snapped his fingers and the gorey aftermath of his little utensil act vanished, as if it never appeared. 

“Do not encourage her Lawrence, Lydia will actually take what you say to heart,” Barbara warned, shooting the two a look that said ‘ _Do not disappoint me_ ’. Lawrence and Lydia both shared a glance and tucked their mental plans of murder away for later, lest they incur Barbara’s disappointment. 

Soon Lydia and Charles were ready to go. Delia pressed a kiss to Lydia’s forehead. “Have a good day, hun!” She chirped while Lydia pretended to be disgusted by the shown affection. 

“I’ll see,” Lydia simply hummed back, giving Delia a quick hug that no one else observed, no sir. 

“We’ll miss you!” Barbara said, squeezing Lydia into a tight hug that everyone did see because the ghost refused to let Lydia hide her affection like Delia did. 

Lydia stifled a giggle, wiggling away from the tight embrace. “I’m just going to school, guys, jeez,” she said. 

“Yes but it’s your first day at a new school and you’ll be gone for eight hours, so we get to say goodbye,” Adam insisted while Barbara straightened out Lydia’s already straightened clothes. Charles smiled knowingly as the ghosts fussed over Lydia and patiently waited as they worked it out of their system while Delia looked on slightly teary eyed from how adorable the scene was. The two ghosts finally squeezed Lydia tight in a final hug goodbye, which she happily accepted, even if their hugs were cold. 

“Don’t forget to try and make friends. You can’t spend your whole life hanging out with only us, after all,” Barbara said. 

“I mean, it’ll be hard to top ghosts and a demon,” Lydia said. 

“I’m sure you’ll find someone at least somewhat as strange and unusual as you are,” Adam smiled. 

Lydia looked over to Lawrence who was sagged over on the arm of the couch, clearly keeping out of the sentimentalities. She smirked, deciding it was only fair to give him a little bit of shit. “Weep not for me, brother dear, for I shall soon return and you will be in my inspiring presence once more,” Lydia said dramatically, throwing her arms around the demon, startling him just the slightest bit. 

“Oh please, I’m jumping for joy inside. I’ll finally be able to cause true mayhem now without you around haranguing me about ‘consequences’ and ‘thinking my decisions through’ and ‘not jumping off the roof because it’ll shatter all my bones’.” For every air quote he made, a new pair of arms appeared from Lawrence’s back, gesturing more and more wildly as he ticked off the small list. “But! I will miss your little quips! If you need someone to kill the shit out of someone else today, you know how to summon me to your side. Make good choices sweetie!” Lawrence mimicked an old Boston woman with his last sentence before placing a purposefully wet and sloppy kiss on Lydia’s cheek, making her leap away, gagging in disgust. 

“Jackass, I bet you messed up my makeup!” She hissed, desperately wiping the slobber off her face. 

Lawrence gave her a shit eating grin before falling backwards off the couch arm and phasing away through the wall. “Of course I only reserve my best kisses for the sexy Maitlands, so you’ll have to contend with second best, sister dear,” his voice echoed through the living room. 

With that send off, Charles and Lydia headed off to the car. As she was tossing her bag onto the seat, though, Lydia saw movement in the corner of her eye. She turned and saw Lawrence on the roof, looking a bit wistful. But he put on a smile, and gave an awkward wave, unused to such an action. Lydia smiled back, she would never admit that she was touched by this actual goodbye, but she did wave back. 

Then they were off, and Lawrence was left watching an empty road for an undefined amount of time. 

“You’re worried aren’t you?” 

Lawrence nearly took an actual dive off the roof, but Adam grabbed his arm to steady him. “Jesus, couldn’t you have learned to be shifty like that before I gave up on you the first time?” Lawrence grumbled as he sat more securely. Adam simply hummed back in response, moving to sit next to the demon, albeit much more precautious of the roof’s declining slope. 

“She’ll be fine. It’s just school,” Adam continued. 

“I don’t worry about people, I’m a demon. Demons don’t worry about people,” Lawrence said, his voice carrying the tired tone of one repeating back what had been told to them many times. 

“Well, you’re not _just_ a demon though, are you? You’re also a deadborn. And technically a newly dead, if that still counts. So I’d say that even if demons don’t worry about people, there’s a whole lot of other things you are that do worry,” Adam pointed out. 

“You know being a brainiac shouldn’t be such a turn on, but goddamn are you hot right now,” Lawrence drawled, laying back on the roof to study the clouds above. 

“So, since we’ve agreed you’re worried, mind telling me what exactly it is you’re worrying about?” Adam pressed on, fighting the blush that always threatened to form whenever someone flirted with him. 

“Why do you care?” Lawrence asked, eying Adam suspiciously from the corner of his eye. 

“Well I’d like to help, considering we’re friends,” Adam replied. 

“Oh god, are we really gonna be all feely and talking about our emotions now that we’re friends?” Lawrence asked, pushing himself back up into a sitting position. 

“I think it’d be good for you, Lawrence. You hold a lot of stuff back. It can’t be healthy being so reticent,” Adam said. 

“Pft! Adam you should know you’re still cute even when you stop being a brainiac,” Lawrence said. 

“I’m serious, Lawrence. I… I worry about you sometimes. You still haven’t even said anything about what happened to your hand,” Adam gestured to the bandages. 

Lawrence froze for a moment, caught off guard, before he gave a sigh. “A-dog, people don’t care about what I think and feel. I’m either overreacting and being dramatic, or I’m being stupid and mistaking things. It’s just a waste of time to get into it.” 

A hand grabbed his arm though, and Adam turned Lawrence around, anger brewing in his green eyes. Lawrence leaned back, surprised and slightly unsure. “You are feeling what you’re feeling, and that is not made up. You deserve to voice these feelings so you can better understand them and better communicate with those around you. It’s _never_ a waste of time to say how you feel,” Adam said heatedly. 

Lawrence stared at him for a long moment, unsure of what to say. “I… okay,” he eventually mumbled. 

Adam’s anger faded, and was instead replaced with sorrow. “It’s awful that you were made to think that you have to bottle yourself up. You deserve to express yourself.” 

Lawrence felt his eyes tingle strangely and his salivary glands start to kick up. “Jesus, first Lyds now you. Everyone is getting sappier than sugar maples around here,” he huffed, trying to shove the strange buzzing emotions away. 

“So?” Adam said encouragingly. Lawrence shot him a glare, though it’s heat was severely lacking, before finally giving up. 

“I… I don’t know! I dunno why I’m worried. I just… I’m used to Lydia being here, and now that she’s gone, the house is too quiet. Feels weird, like something bad is gonna happen at any second,” Lawrence glared at the window back inside, as if the house were somehow conscious and purposefully mocking him with its silence. 

Adam considered this for a moment, then looked over to Lawrence, an idea brewing in his mind. “Come on,” Adam got up, offering Lawrence a hand. 

Lawrence eyed Adam suspiciously, but accepted the ghost’s hand, and let him lead them inside, down from the attic to the first floor living room. Only then did Adam let go of Lawrence’s hand and he went to the old beat up radio set on one of the cabinets, fiddling with it’s dials and knobs. 

“Uh, what’re you doing?” Lawrence finally asked, listening to the wavering static as Adam went through the different stations. Finally a drum beat began to fill the air, with people humming soon to follow. 

Adam turned to Lawrence with a wide grin. “There! Now the house isn’t so quiet!” He began to sway to the music playing through the radio, giving Lawrence a self-satisfied grin. 

Lawrence stared at the ghost in bewilderment for a moment, before a laugh bubbled out of his chest. “Fucking smartass!” 

Adam shrugged innocently, still swaying to the beat, still grinning. “Well, _do_ you feel better?” 

Lawrence continued to snicker, he could barely look at Adam without bursting into laughter. “See, this is why I couldn’t teach you how to scare people, you do ridiculous shit like this,” Lawrence noted, gesturing to Adam’s attempts to dance. 

Adam’s grin widened, and he reached out and offered Lawrence his hand. “What, you scared to dance?” There was a dare there, and dammit, how did he know Lawrence could never let a dare pass him up? 

Lawrence scowled, and begrudgingly took the other’s hand. “Prepare to eat your words, Maitland.” He twirled Adam around fast, making the ghost stare at him in surprise, but then Adam smirked, _oh wow that’s hot_ , and Lawrence found himself being dipped and staring up at that smirk. 

“We’ll see.” Adam’s singsong voice should’ve infuriated Lawrence, he hated people mocking him, but there wasn’t anything venomous about Adam’s tease. It was... nice not having to read between the lines every five seconds. 

Around the room they danced. The house wasn’t quiet anymore, now it was filled with swinging music, joyous humming and singing, and the sound of Adam and Lawrence laughing as they made each other dizzy with all the twirls they put the other through. 

Barbara, who never could resist the grainy sounds of her and Adam’s old radio, curiously crept in, wondering what the noise was about, when she saw the two’s joyous dance. She hid a laugh behind her hand, but it seemed the boys had noticed her still. “What? Never seen two guys dancing before?” Lawrence shot at Barbara, grinning widely with bright green hair.

“Is that what you call it?” Barbara asked casually, leaning against the doorframe leading back to the kitchen. 

That made the other two pause, Lawrence gasping in mock anger before looking to the laughing Adam. “Are we just gonna stand there and take her shit, A-dog?” Lawrence asked. 

“I think we shouldn’t,” Adam replied when he got his laughter under control. 

“Glad to see we’re on the same page. Babs, you’re about to get your world rocked.” Lawrence appeared next to Barbara with a blink, scooping her up bridal style with surprising strength, spinning them both in a circle back into the living room, Barbara squealing with surprise and Adam hopping back to avoid getting knocked over. Lawrence managed to set Barbara down to her feet in the middle of the spin, before leaning back with one arm stretched out, the other holding onto Barbara’s hand as he dipped her back, somehow balancing them both from falling over into a pile of tangled limbs. 

Barbara blinked dizzily, but a wide grin was stretched out on her face as she managed to stay on her feet. With a smirk, Lawrence then spun her into Adam’s arms, who instantly took Barbara’s hand and placed his other hand on her waist, and they waltzed around Lawrence in time with the piano playing underneath the ever present drumbeat. 

“That’s right, show her Adam! We are the dancing queens!” Lawrence crowed, bouncing in place to the song. Barbara and Adam laughed, and the two broke apart to tug Lawrence to move even more, similarly to the first time they met, when he was leaping from wall to wall explaining himself to them.

The three hardly noticed when the first song trailed off to an end and started to hum along to a new one, they were having too much fun. They also didn’t notice Delia when she came into the living room with a sleepy Sandy under her arms. “Oh,” Delia said when she saw the three wildly dancing ghosts, startling them all. 

“Uh, hi Delia. What can we do for you?” Adam asked awkwardly, as if him lifting Barbara up into the air was a perfectly normal morning routine they had. 

“Oh you know, just moving Sandy from my crystal collection. I thought she may have liked to sun herself outside instead,” Delia said with a smug look, appearing more and more like the cat who caught the canary. Sandy seemed to share that look, but she always looked like that, it was a very common sandworm expression.

“I, uh, would’ve thought you’d have work today,” Barbara said as Adam lowered her onto the floor. 

“Oh no, I took the day off, just in case something happened today, I kept feeling a tension all throughout the house today. Seems like a good thing I did too, since you guys are having so much fun,” Delia’s eyes sparkled, and the three ghosts felt she was poking fun at them, though Barbara and Adam weren’t too sure why they felt that. Lawrence did, though, and he was already plotting revenge. Perhaps he would try levitating Delia in the middle of her yoga sessions tomorrow. “Don’t let me stop the beat, though.” Delia continued, walking further into the room, before glancing slyly over her shoulder. “We could do with some fun during this boring day...o.” Delia grinned widely, and Sandy perked up instantly. She shot the radio a look, and a familiar voice began to sing. 

“ _Day-o, day-o. Daylight come and me wan’ go home. Day, me say day, me say day, me say day. Me say day, me say day-o. Daylight come and me wan' go home! Work all night on a drink of rum-!_ ” 

Delia draped Sandy around her shoulders like a feather boa, which the sandworm didn’t seem to mind, and shimmied in tune with the beat, singing along with the song, knowing the lyrics better than any typical person would. She grabbed Lawrence’s hand and twirled them around, causing the demon to cackle with glee upon remembering that fateful dinner, and he eagerly joined Delia in her dance, the two pulling Adam and Barbara in soon after. 

Laughter and song filled the house, it’s occupants dancing the morning away. Barbara eventually got Lawrence back for his first stunt, lifting him up bridal style with ease and stepping gracefully around Adam and Delia, while Lawrence crooned about finally having someone properly hold him. He didn’t even care that his hair was pink. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was really sweet, I just was like “they should dance together, let’s do that” and yeah. It’s funny, these chapters were actually gonna be really sad in the first draft, but then I hit that creative slump and decided to redo them all, and honestly, I’m a bit happier with this hue hue.  
> Of course y’all should know the second song that played, but the first one was “Little Bitty Pretty One” by Thurston Harris, the same song they played in Matilda for the breakfast making scene actually, which I think is one of Lydia’s favorite movies.  
> If you don’t think the same, you can come fight me on tumblr [@daydreaming-jessi](https://daydreaming-jessi.tumblr.com/)


	24. Back to School With People You Know

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lydia has a story to tell Beej about what happened on her first day of school. Oh and a crush, but we all knew that already, didn’t we?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally posted May 4th, 2020, edited February 25th, 2021

The bell rang, and Lydia’s first day of school was done. She pushed her way through the surging crowd of teens rushing outside to freedom. It wasn’t too bad of a day, considering she was entirely new here. Things only got easier when she met up with Bea, whom she had been texting more frequently as time went on. Bea had been happy to show Lydia through the winding halls of the old building, and Lydia was able to find all of her classes. Of course things got interesting at certain points, but she wanted to recount it to Lawrence first. 

Lydia finally exited the old school building. She breathed in the fresh air, relieved to be free of the cheap body spray that permeated the halls, and made her way to where her father had dropped her off that morning. His car was already there waiting, the engine idling away. Charles was looking down at his phone, not noticing Lydia make her way to his window, until she slammed against it while making an obnoxious face Lawrence could be proud of. Of course this caused her father to jump, and Lydia laughed as her father stared at her in bewilderment. 

“You picked up too many habits from your mother, I swear,” Charles wheezed, pressing a hand to his settling heart. 

Lydia got into the car with a smirk. “You need to pay less attention to your phone, as Mom always said.”

Charles shook his head, but he couldn’t hide the smile quirking his lips up as he put the car into gear. He carefully pulled out onto the busy street, trying to avoid the fleeing teenagers driving their old beat up cars. 

Of course, as was his fatherly duty, Charles asked Lydia about her day. She answered vaguely, not sure _how_ to explain certain events of the day, but Charles prodded and Lydia finally got into a certain detail. “This girl I met before, Bea, showed me around a lot today. She and I go to photography class together,” she answered. 

“Is she nice?” Charles asked. 

“Yeah. Her work is pretty good too,” Lydia said. 

“I’m glad you were able to make a friend,” Charles beamed proudly as he switched on his turn signal. 

“Oh my god, Dad,” Lydia groaned embarrassed. 

“Well I was just a little worried! You never really mentioned your old friends back in New York. Sometimes moving to a new state and going to a new school might make finding new friends a little difficult,” Charles replied. 

“I never mentioned my friends because I didn’t have any, Dad. I was the weirdo, remember?” Lydia said flatly. 

“Well this may be a chance to find people just as weird as you are.” Charles slowed to a stop at the red flashing traffic light, careful of the semi truck they pulled up next to. 

“Aren’t parents supposed to tell their kids they’re not weird? Isn’t that one of those white lies parents do, like how the tooth fairy is real or that you can achieve whatever you want to in life as long as you believe hard enough?” 

“Well there’s nothing wrong with being weird, considering our family. We live with ghosts, I don’t think we’re even in the realm of normal anymore.” 

That made Lydia laugh, unable to argue with that. Charles was pleased with Lydia’s recountment of her day, and turned on the radio to the usual old rock station he listened to for as long as Lydia could remember. The rest of the drive was spent listening to familiar old guitars and wailing singers. 

When they finally reached the house, Lydia bounded out of the car, already thinking of how she would tell Lawrence her story. Inside, the radio was playing and Delia was in the kitchen with Adam, the two gossiping about something as they made some sort of experimental treat, which didn’t look too bad so far. “Lydia! How was your day?” Delia asked when she saw the teen in the doorway. 

“Full of papers and awkward introductions,” Lydia replied, setting her bag down on one of the dining chairs. 

“Seems like nothing bad happened though,” Adam said, ruffling her hair. 

“Yeah, it was just a start to the multitudes of boring school days that await me.” 

“She made a friend with a girl called Bea,” Charles noted, coming into the kitchen. He gave Delia a peck hello on the cheek, and Delia looked over to Lydia with wide eyes. 

“Oh, a _friend_ huh?” 

“Ugh.” Lydia immediately turned heel and left the kitchen, not in the mood to go into whatever cooing and pestering they would give her about Bea. 

“I’m home,” she sang as she burst through the door out to the backyard, disrupting Lawrence and Barbara’s conversation. 

“Scarecrow!” Lawrence grinned, before realizing he was acting too excited. He leaned back with a neutral expression, as if he hadn't missed Lydia all day. “Looks like the school nerd has returned,” he said coolly. 

“Welcome home, hun! Did you have a good day?” Barbara asked, pulling Lydia into a tight hug. 

“It was interesting,” Lydia admitted, feeling a little less overwhelmed now. 

“Interesting? Did you blow a classroom up in like, Chemistry or something? Oh that sounds cool,” Lawrence looked like a terrible idea was brewing in his head. Lydia would have to ask him about it later. 

“No, I ran into that girl again. Bea, remember?” Lydia said. 

“Oh yeah, I forgot about her.” 

“Who’s Bea?” Barbara asked, her eyes shining meaningfully. 

“This girl Beej and I met when we went out to get some photos a few weeks back. She gave me her number and we’ve been texting, so she showed me around the school today between classes,” Lydia explained, knowing that she would later be quizzed about this, as Barbara was notorious about sharing information she thought was important. “Anyway, I’ve got homework to do already, so I’ll be in my room,” Lydia turned around, shooting Lawrence a secret pointed look and he nodded, understanding that Lydia had more to tell him in secret. 

“I’m gonna eat it,” he said aloud. 

“Fat chance, don’t you even dare,” Lydia narrowed her eyes at the demon. For a moment they stared at each other, until Lawrence darted forward, sliding through the walls like an apparition towards the kitchen. Lydia squawked in mock outrage. 

“Please don’t actually ruin her homework,” Barbara called after the two, but all she could hear in response was Lawrence cackling as Lydia yelled at him. 

In the privacy of her room, Lawrence and Lydia laid on her bed, backpack forgotten on her desk as she showed Lawrence the pictures she took of the old school building on her phone. “Apparently it’s an ancient building. It was built in the 1800’s I think. I swear I’m going to find a ghost in one of the hallways, it has all the vibes of a haunted school,” Lydia explained as she showed some of the gargoyles splayed out on the high terraces of the building. 

“Maybe, I dunno how interesting they’d be though. I mean, what kind of boring ass ghost would want to spend their afterlife in a high school?” Lawrence replied, grimacing at the person his mind conjured. They were dull, kermudgerly old governess. Someone obsessed with dotting their i’s and crossing their t’s, and would reply _‘May_ I’ to a student asking if they could go to the bathroom. That was more boring than the Maitlands, and not in a fun way. 

“It’d still be interesting to meet another dead person. Unlike you, I don’t know a lot of ghosts,” Lydia replied, setting her phone down when she reached the end of her pictures. 

“Whatever, now tell me what you’re hiding! It must be big if you hadn’t told anyone else about it,” Lawrence dug into the meat of their hangout, looking at Lydia with wide eyes hungry for gossip. 

“Oh it’s something. Okay, so I got to school and met up with Bea before I went to home room, nothing too big. The teacher was pretty cool, she used to teach biology at college before coming here. But anyways, nothing unusual about the class. It’s what happened when I went to my locker that was strange,” Lydia began. 

“Get to it already!” Lawrence groused. 

“Shut up, I’m getting to it. So I opened my locker, and found the number _666_ scratched all over inside. ‘Sweet,’ I thought, and started to put my stuff away.”

“Where’s the interesting part again?” Lawrence cut in once more. 

Lydia glared at him until he finally quieted down, and continued with her story.

…

The continuous dull roar of tired teenagers filled the halls of the high school. Lydia tuned it out as she pulled things out of her backpack to set inside her locker, barely catching snippets of conversations she didn’t have any context for. She could feel people looking at her strangely. it seems that her work on her apparel was eye catching. Even Bea complimented her, making Lydia want to twirl in place like some sort of Disney princess. 

Someone cleared their throat behind her, bringing Lydia back to the present. “Hey so, you’re Lydia Deetz, right?” 

Lydia looked over her shoulder, curious as to who would be asking her that, and her eyes widened with shock. Behind her stood the gym rat kid, Keith, wearing the same uniform as her. Oh shit. There was going to be a confrontation, wasn't there? Why didn’t Bea warn her?

“I…” Lydia wasn’t sure what to do, and she could see that there was no distraction for her to use. How the hell was she going to explain herself? She still hadn’t thought of how to explain Lawrence’s trick to normal people. 

“That uh, that spider trick was pretty crazy. I’m still not sure how you guys did it,” Keith gave a small smile. 

“I… well, my brother, er, worked on it for a long time,” Lydia wheezed out. Oh god, all of her regrets were coming back to her all at once, what could she _say_? 

Keith rubbed the back of his neck, glancing away embarrassedly. “So, listen. I, uh, I guess I should start by saying sorry for everyone. Darrin is an idiot who lets his mouth run off sometimes, and Cast can come off as pretty abrasive at times. I should’ve told them to shut up immediately when they started grilling you. Basically we’re all really dumb sometimes,” he sighed. 

“Wh-, you’re _sorry_?” Lydia’s mouth was definitely hanging open now. Were all of the teens they scared going to break her expectations of typical teenagers? 

“Yeah. No one really wants to be asked if their house is haunted by random strangers first thing. I totally get if you never want to talk to any of us again, it’d be completely fair. Darrin is an idiot, though, and wants to try and make a big plot to try and say sorry for before since we all go to the same school and such, and he’ll try and do whatever he’ll think up at lunch. Hopefully he’ll just pull some cool act and offer to show you the weird parts of town. I just wanted to let you know, and if you want, I can tell him to stop before he gets going. He has his heart in the right place, but he is not the best when it comes to social interactions,” Keith explained. 

Lydia blinked multiple times. “I… I didn’t think you’d want to be so mature about this,” she finally said. 

Keith shrugged, still smiling. “I guess you could say I’m the one that fishes my friends out of shitcreek when they forget their paddles. But I felt really bad, you’re new and everything, you don’t need people all up in your face about your house and stuff,” he explained. 

“I… well. Thanks. I appreciate it. And I guess I kind of want to see what this Darrin guy pulls,” Lydia smirked. 

Keith let out a laugh. “Oh it’ll be memorable. Darrin is always one for theatrics. But he’s sweet too. As for Cast and Bea, well they’re their own set of problems. Only reason I can keep track of Darrin is ‘cause he’s my boy-“ Keith’s eyes widened, and he sucked in a quick, fearful breath, and Lydia easily understood. 

“He’s lucky to have you, it seems. I look forward to seeing what he has planned,” Lydia smiled reassuringly. 

Keith’s shoulders slowly relaxed, and his smile became much more genuine, relief obvious in his dark eyes. “It’ll be fun. See you at lunch, Lydia,” he said as he turned. 

“Until lunch, Keith,” Lydia said before returning to her task of sorting through her locker. 

….

“Holy shit,” Lawrence gaped at Lydia. 

She nodded, satisfied to finally get the reaction she was looking for. “Told you you’d love it,” Lydia said smugly. 

“So wait, what happened at lunch then?” 

“Well hold on, there’s more to this story,” Lydia said, continuing on. 

“Oh my god, you are so dramatic…”

“So are you, dick, just hold on.” 

….

The day went on, more syllabuses were handed out, more names were called out, and Lydia found her favorite class was going to be photography for sure. The teacher, Ms. Hatchett, was fun and laid back, and Lydia found herself sitting next to Bea on the seating chart Ms. Hatchett made. 

Bea had exchanged her glasses for contacts that day, and had her bangs tied back instead of the ponytail she sported when Lydia first met her. For some reason, despite all the selfies the two had sent each other, and despite the gauche uniform, Bea had gotten prettier than Lydia remembered. 

The two girls happily discussed photography while the syllabus was handed out. Lydia asked Bea to confirm what Keith told her. “Oh yeah, Darrin blew up our group chat with all sorts of harebrained schemes. I told him to chill out, but who knows what he’s doing at this point,” Bea hummed thoughtfully. 

“Should I be concerned?” Lydia asked, starting to feel hints of doubt. 

“No, Darrin can be dumb, but he’s pretty cool actually. I think you’ll like them, honestly. I mean, you already met Cast when she was in a better mood. She told me how you know her sister,” Bea said. 

“Yeah, maybe. I don’t know if I’ll let him off the hook yet. I do like to see people squirm a little,” Lydia smirked. 

Bea laughed. “Sadistic. I like it.” Bea’s laugh was nice. Lydia blushed, surprised and glad that _she_ managed to make that sound happen. She even had the mushy thought that she should make Bea laugh more. 

Finally the bell for lunch rang. Teenagers spilled out into the hallway, and Lydia found herself and Bea lost in a human sea of deodorant and complaints of homework already being assigned. Somehow, the two girls stuck together and Bea led Lydia through the halls to where she and her friends usually hung out during lunch. Eventually the crowds began to split away as kids either headed for the lunch room or the courtyard outside, making the trek easier. 

Lydia wasn’t sure what exactly was awaiting her. It seemed like the teens she and Lawrence had scared weren't actually that bad, but it still could be a trick of some kind. For all she knew, they could be waiting to pull some kind of prank of their own on her. It was moments like these she wished she could read people better. She wasn’t the best when it came to realizing when someone was straight up lying to her face. 

“Hey Maharaj! Looks like you found Deetz!” A familiar voice called out. 

Lydia looked up, and saw Keith, Cast, and Darrin up ahead of them. She faltered for a moment, then continued on strong after Bea. “Well if it isn’t the sister of the spider vomitor! That was quite a show. Didn’t really think I had a fear of spiders crawling through my hair until now,” Darrin grinned widely at Lydia. 

“I thought hats were prohibited in school,” Lydia eyed the dark green beanie Darrin was sporting. 

“Yeah, there’s a reason Darrin gets lunch detention every other day,” Cast said, reaching over to snatch the hat off his head. A teacher strolled by, nodding to the five teens as they went on. 

Darrin took the hat back, stuffing it into his pocket with a shrug. “Well, this stupid uniform is so boring, you have to figure out _some_ way to express yourself before you suffocate on drab office drone colors. I mean, you should get it, Deetz, considering all the enhancements you made,” he pointed to the dark silk lining in Lydia’s blazer jacket. 

“So, Keith and Bea told me you want to pull some grand action to apologize to me. I’m waiting,” Lydia hurried on to the point, crossing her arms and staring at the boy expectantly. 

“Right, right, straight to business. So, I realize now that interrogating you about your house before I even introduce myself was pretty rude, especially after you caught us watching and gossiping about you. So I think it’s only fair that we properly introduce ourselves, y’know? I am Darrin Mendoza, residential history buff,” Darrin bowed dramatically. 

“Residential history buff?” Lydia looked to the other three for explanations. 

“Don’t even think about asking him to help you with history. Darrin loves to know the macabre and gothic, but only random factoids about it,” Bea supplied, leaning closer. 

“Hey, Mr. Vandelns loves me, I can be of assistance for his world history class,” Darrin protested. 

“He likes your jokes, sure, but you were still a terrible student in his class,” Cast hummed. 

“Ouch. Way to cut me to the core, bae,” Darrin shot Cast a flat look. 

“She’s not exactly wrong, Dare,” Keith said. 

“Yeah but she doesn’t have to say it in front of the new kid!” 

“Speaking of, hey again.” Cast waved to Lydia. 

“How’s Skye?” Lydia asked. 

“Nervous as hell about seventh grade. Trying hard not to run over to your house to show you her new badges. You should come over for dinner some time, the discussions she brings up have been hilariously anarchic,” Cast smirked. 

“I’ve been teaching her well,” Lydia nodded sagely. 

“Wh- Oh my god, Grates I can’t believe you didn’t tell us that you’ve already breached the whole apology thing!” Darrin gasped. 

“I don’t owe you my private life. We’re school friends and school friends only.” 

“Oh ok, have fun bleaching your hair by yourself next time then!” 

“Guys, can we get through this already? Cast stop distracting Darrin,” Keith cut in, fixing them both flat looks. 

“Yeah, unlike some people, we have stuff I want to get to, so hurry it up,” Bea added. 

“Well, since you already know Bea Maharaj and Cast Grates, then that leaves the ever so handsome Keith Hassan,” Darrin flourished to the taller boy. 

“Hey again,” Keith glanced over to Darrin with exasperated fondness. 

“And finally, there’s you. So, what’s your moniker?” Darrin turned to Lydia. 

“Lydia Deetz, the girl that lives in the haunted house apparently,” Lydia said, smirking. 

Darrin winced, and rubbed the back of his neck. “Look, I get into the paranormal pretty hardcore. So what I need to say is sorry for being a creep, and I wish to extend an olive branch of possible friendship, and invite you to a tour of all the coolest spots in town,” Darrin said, moving forward to stand in front of Lydia and offering a hand. 

Lydia considered the hand, glanced over to Bea, Keith and Cast, before settling back to Darrin. “I will… consider this offer,” she finally said. 

Darrin grinned crookedly, and held his hands up in mock surrender. “Alright, alright, I get it. Need to think things over, understandable. Have to say this, though. It was nice to properly meet you Deetz,” he said. 

….

“And then Bea showed me the school’s dark room,” Lydia finished her story. 

“Ok, first off, you need to get over your lesbian self and just go ahead and ask that girl if she wants to date, second off, how you gonna tell those guys to fuck off?” Lawrence asked, moving to lay on his stomach. 

“Well…” Lydia trailed off. 

Lawrence looked up to her bugeyed. “You are _not_ considering hanging out with them.” 

“I mean, like Barbara said, I need to make actual human friends. And besides, they’re friends with Bea, so maybe they aren’t _so_ bad,” Lydia replied, edging on defensive. 

“But they’re jerks! They made you feel weird, and they acted like creeps.” Lawrence scowled. 

“It’s just a second chance. I mean, it’s the same thing that happened between us, and now look where we are,” Lydia replied, nudging Lawrence’s side with her foot. 

“Ugh, but they’re losers! If you make friends with them, they’ll come here! And I’ll have to deal with them!” Lawrence groaned. 

“Deal with it, you’re a loser too. Besides, it sounds kind of fun. They sound kind of fun. No one at my old school was interested in the weird, not like this. For once I don’t feel like I have to defend myself from others,” Lydia looked away, trying to will her embarrassed flush away. 

“Lyds, I like your weird, and if anyone makes you feel bad, I’ll eat their kneecaps,” Lawrence repeatedly slapped Lydia’s shoulder in a sarcastic show of assurance, but there was sincerity to his voice. 

“I know you will. But it still sounds fun, checking out all the cool spooky parts of town. If you’re so worried about me, you can come with,” Lydia said, pulling her legs up and crossing them. 

“Ew, why would I want to hang out with a bunch of teenagers?” Lawrence asked, his voice flat. 

“Because you’re worried these guys are gonna trick me or something. Try as you might to hide it, I know your tells now. I mean you don’t have to go if you actually don’t want to, but the offer’s there,” Lydia shrugged. 

“Hate to break it to you, but I don’t think it’s very cool to have a gross, creepy old guy follow you around,” Lawrence grinned teasingly. 

“It’s not, but when have I cared about being cool? Besides, I want you to know Bea better. She’s actually pretty cool,” Lydia surreptitiously glanced away. 

“Aw, you want your big brother’s approval of your crush?” Lawrence crowed without thinking, but the instant the words left his mouth he froze. It was still scary calling Lydia family. Saying it out loud, it made it more real, made it seem like someone could take it away, or worse, Lydia could say the whole thing was a big fat joke and he was an idiot for falling for it. 

Lydia hadn’t noticed him freezing up though, and instead shoved his shoulder, face bright red. “Shut up, I just think it’d be cool if you knew her too. I don’t  _ need _ your ‘approval’,” she huffed, rolling her eyes. 

Lawrence relaxed, feeling a bit better. Apparently it would stillI take him a while to get used to this. 

Lydia’s phone went off, and she quickly grabbed it to look it over. “Oh! Bea’s offering to add me to their group chat if I really want to go hang out Saturday. Shall I ask if it’s cool for you to come along?” Lydia looked over to Lawrence hopefully, though she’d never admit it. 

Lawrence wondered if it really was cool for an old demon to hang out with a bunch of teenagers. On the other hand, he did want to see the creepy sights around the town and the idea of spending Saturday alone did _not_ sound fun. “Fine, yeah. Someone’s got to help you figure out if Bea would smooch a chick,” he sighed. 

Lydia grinned delightedly, and started to tap out a message to the other girl, grin widening when she got a response. “Oh, they are in. Everyone wants to see what else you can do besides vomit spiders.” 

“Well they’re gonna have to convince me, because I’m not some sort of circus seal that will clap and honk horns for them whenever they ask.” 

“At least we have _something_ to do Saturday instead of sitting around bored,” Lydia smirked, tapping away at her phone with a pleased smile. Lawrence felt just the tiniest bit pleased that Lydia was still happy to have him along to hang out with. Even if it still sounded lame. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> God I love making Lydia a big ol’ lesbian. It’s a return of the voyeur teens! And hey, they’re not as big of jerks as we thought. Now there’s plans for Saturday! Is this the start of a beautiful friendship, or the start of a huge prank that will leave Lydia crashing and burning? Either way, she’ll have her big bro Beej there to watch the fireworks.  
> You can find me on tumblr at [@daydreaming-jessi](https://daydreaming-jessi.tumblr.com/)


	25. Tensions Rise, but We’ll Be Okay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lydia and Beej await for their Saturday, and Lydia develops some anxieties, because sometimes even she’s not as strong as she wants to be.

It was four days until Saturday, but a schedule was still established, letting everyone see how the rest of the year was going to play out now that Lydia was going to school. 

Lawrence and Delia would still wake up with the sunrise, but they would then be followed by Lydia and Charles rather than the Maitlands, who still preferred to wake up at eight on the dot. Breakfast became more optional, as Lydia started to ride her bike to school rather than get a ride from Charles and that meant she had to leave earlier than usual. She still wanted some independence, and riding her bike to school gave her that. Charles still forced a helmet on Lydia, to her disgruntlement. Delia had to convince Lawrence to not eat the helmet and convince Lydia to stop trying to feed him the helmet. 

Lydia would come back from school with more stories about the teenage voyeurs to tell Lawrence, and he could see that she really was starting to take a liking to them. He still had suspicions about them, but Lydia was starting to believe they were genuinely honest about wanting to be friends. 

Of course all of the adults were delighted by Lydia’s new acquaintances, saying that she should invite them over. Lydia wasn’t so sure about that. 

As she got to know the four teens better, the more she began to suspect that they too would see Barbara and Adam, and she needed an explanation for why the two were living in her house before she could invite any of the other kids over. Lawrence didn’t know why she couldn’t just be honest with them. “I’m still deciding if they’re cool or not. I don’t want to tell them I live with three ghosts if they’re just going to be weird about it. I’ll see how it goes Saturday,” Lydia replied. 

The truth was, though, the teens were turning out to be cooler than Lydia had realized, and she didn’t want to scare them off. They all seemed interested by her, for some reason, rather than weirded out like people usually were. And despite all the teasing and shit they gave each other, it grew obvious the group of friends cared deeply for one other, and Lydia started to want to be a part of that. The thought had started on the second day of school, when Bea and Lydia had met up with the other three again for lunch, and Darrin asked Lydia a question she wasn’t expecting. 

“Hey Deetz, what’s your usual brew?” 

“My brew?” Lydia looked up from the lunch she had gotten, mistakenly. The others had warned her that the cafeteria food was pretty bland, but Lydia had decided to see for herself, and instantly regretted it when she received a tray of gelatin neon orange Mac and cheese, slices of mysterious rubbery meat that she wasn’t quite sure what animal it came from, and a watery fruit cup that had a weird salty flavor to it. 

“Yeah, your coffee brew,” Darrin clarified, grabbing a chip from the bag that Cast had pulled out as their lunch. The two seemed to share lunch every day it seemed, even though it was Darrin and Keith that were dating. Lydia was still trying to figure that out. Bea only said that was how Darrin and Cast worked. 

“Is this some sort of personality game?” Lydia asked, getting her thoughts back on track. She had already been asked several questions that probably came off an internet personality quiz and was growing bored of it. 

“He won’t stop bugging you until you answer it. Darrin hates leaving questions unanswered,” Cast spoke up, not looking up from her compact mirror as she reapplied her lip gloss that rubbed off from eating. 

“It’s no joke, I promise. Just want to know,” Darrin grinned. There seemed to be no hidden deceit in his voice, and he had a terrible poker face, Lydia had learned. Keith wasn’t cutting in and saying anything, he usually did if rude questions or questions that made Lydia obviously uncomfortable were asked, and Bea didn’t seem concerned either, in fact it seemed this question was typical of Darrin to them all. 

“I like black coffee. It’s a good kind of burnt taste,” Lydia finally answered. 

“Ah, I see! Black as your typical apparel then?” Darrin had a more teasing crook in his smile now, but it seemed more that he was joking with her instead of at her expense. 

“What can I say? I know what I like,” Lydia shrugged, with a smirk. 

“Respectable. People need to think that way more,” Bea noted, scribbling an answer down on her homework. 

“Oh hey, Josie Lindbergh got that bandana tattoo she was talking about last year,” Keith spoke up, eyeing a group of seniors walking by the window they were sat near today. 

“Good for her, she hated that scar on her bicep Mick Davis gave her,” Cast turned to Lydia thoughtfully. “Your eyeliner is crooked and driving me crazy. Lemme see if I can fix it before I go to cheer practice.” 

“Sure,” Lydia shoved the uneaten food away and scootched closer so Cast could apply the makeup. 

“Didn’t Mick Davis join a cult?” Darrin asked, leaning into Keith’s side. 

“No, that was Nick David, and  _ he _ started the cult. Swore he saw some strange creature in the woods that gifted him with the knowledge of the afterlife if I remember right. Mick Davis was just an abusive dogshit,” Bea replied, and the conversation moved along, and Lydia forgot about the strange question Darrin asked. 

Until the next morning. Lydia had biked to school for the first time that day, feeling she knew the way well enough, and was able to meet Cast and Bea before Cast had her cheer-meet. They were discussing the hilarious trend of drawing dicks on eyebrows when Darrin’s voice cut through their discussion. “Yo! Deetz, Grates, Maharaj! Drink delivery!” 

“There he is, our hero,” Bea noted as he and Keith walked up to them. 

“Ok, so Grate’s heart attack inducing triple-shot dairy free espresso, Maharaj’s chill time chai matcha tea, babe’s white chocolate mocha with a squirt of mango, and Deetz black coffee. Your drink master has come through again,” Darrin flourished dramatically and bowed. 

“Darrin, don’t let it get to your head, but you’re a saint,” Cast sighed, breathing in her coffee. 

Lydia stared at the to go cup placed in her hand in shock. She wasn’t sure what to say. Was there a joke? Did Darrin add salt or something to this? She’s dealt with worse from Lawrence, but she wasn’t sure what to do. 

“Darrin always gets everyone coffee every morning on his way to school. He always passes by this old coffee shop he and I hang out at, so he gets us all a little pick-me-up,” Keith explained quietly to Lydia while the other three were distracted by the dick eyebrows discussion. 

“But… why’d he get me one?” Lydia asked bewilderedly. 

Keith smiled. “I told you, Dare’s actually really sweet. He kind of already sees you as one of our friends, even if we’ve all only hung out twice now.” 

Lydia looked down to the coffee once more before taking a careful sip. It was still warm, the acrid drink clawing at her throat pleasantly. 

“Ok I swear I’m not trying to get you to buy anymore mothman merch,” Darrin said, drawing Lydia back to the conversation. 

“Except you are,” Bea replied. 

“No, ok! Alright I’m just gonna show this to Deetz then. Deetz, lookie, look,” Darrin laughed and showed Lydia his phone. 

On the screen was a dark blue t-shirt as a star speckled night sky over a black pine tree forest and a looming moth-like figure with blazing red eyes, holding up a peace sign. “Mothman?” Lydia asked curiously. 

Bea gasped. “You  _ don’t _ know mothman?” She asked. 

“Bea I’m shocked, you two have been texting over the summer and hanging out the most and you haven’t told her about your secret lover mothman?” Cast asked. 

“It’s not my secret lover, I want to have mothman be my best friend,” Bea said pointedly which caused Cast to snort. 

“Sorry, I forgot. It’s Darrin that has the monster fucker kink,” Cast amended. 

“My brother has the monster fucker kink, I’m just the guy that told y’all about that. Anyways mothman is a cryptid hanging out in West Virginia, possibly may have foretold of a famous bridge collapse or he could’ve caused it, no one’s sure. Bea loves the cryptid stuff and I honestly appreciate a good Bigfoot sighting myself,” Darrin explained to Lydia. 

Lydia slowly nodded, her interest piqued by this new world she was being introduced to. She honestly could see Lawrence wearing that shirt, and she kind of wanted to get him one. Maybe she’d ask Darrin for a link. 

Lydia then noticed that despite everyone else having a drink, Darrin didn’t have anything. “Where’s your coffee?” She asked. 

“Oh! I can’t drink coffee during the school year. It reacts badly with my adhd meds, and gives me a bad headache. During the summer I can cut back on the meds and get my caffeine fix proper, though,” Darrin explained with an easy grin. 

Lydia felt struck for a moment. Darrin got them all coffee, when he couldn’t drink it himself. He knew Lydia for maybe two days, she and Lawrence scared the shit out of him when they first met, and he still wanted to know what drink she liked and got it for her the very next day, and would continue to bring her that drink every day because he saw them as friends already. Maybe Keith was actually right about Darrin being a sweetheart. 

When they split off for homeroom, Keith and Lydia going off together because they shared the first two classes together, the two already discussing their shared interest of gothic architecture, Lydia realized she was happy that she was getting to know these guys. That was when she started to feel that she wanted to properly be friends with them. 

So when Saturday finally came, after four days of already developing a sort of friendship with them, Lydia was actually excited and nervous to hang out with them properly. She got up surprisingly early that morning, and decided to go all out, dress in the darkest, sharpest outfit she had and let those teens see just how weird she really was, for better or for worse. 

When she tromped downstairs, Lydia found Lawrence and Delia trying to flip pancakes with only the pan, and failing badly. “Lawrence I don’t think levitation is helping the process,” Delia said when the seventh pancake landed on the edge of the pan. 

“But it’ll be so cool if we land a triple flipped pancake!” Lawrence replied, eyes focused intently as he prepared to toss the pathetic looking pancake once more. 

Delia looked over to Lydia and did a double take for a moment, unused to seeing Lydia so decked out. “That’s what you’re going to wear today?” Delia asked, dismay coloring her tone. 

“What’s wrong with it?” Lydia asked, starting to feel slightly defensive. Delia still wasn’t a fan of Lydia’s more gothic choices at times. 

“Whoa! You look ready to stomp ghouls!” Lawrence said with a wide grin when he looked to see what was going on. 

“Thanks. Maybe we’ll end up doing so,” Lydia said, going to sit down at the table. 

“Nah, I don’t think your buddies are cool enough to know where actual ghouls hang out,” Lawrence replied flippantly, flipping the pancake up into the air. It flipped once, twice, then fell back down on the already cooked side. “Dammit, I could feel myself on the edge that time,” he scowled. 

Delia kept quiet, though she kept eyeing Lydia’s outfit critically, until that drove  _ Lydia _ over the edge. “I don’t care if you hate it, I’m not changing.” 

“I don’t hate it! I just… think that it seems like a lot, that’s all,” Delia quickly said. 

“That’s the point. I  _ am  _ a lot,” Lydia huffed, crossing her arms. 

Lawrence glanced between the two, looking puzzled himself. “ _ Okay _ , this isn’t the kind of tension I enjoy. Why are we bitching?” 

“Apparently I am too much,” Lydia got up from the table with a huff. 

“That’s not what I said,” Delia quickly replied, trying to back the escalation down. 

Lawrence narrowed his eyes at Lydia, before setting the pan down and heading out of the kitchen, scooping Lydia up and tossing her over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes as he went. 

“Wh- LAWRENCE! Put me down you douche!” Lydia cried. 

“Make sure the pancakes don’t burn, D!” Lawrence waved a hand as he dragged Lydia out of the kitchen, Delia staring after them in aghast bewilderment. 

Before she could blink, Lydia and Lawrence sank through the floor and somehow ended up on the roof, where Lawrence expertly placed Lydia back on her feet and flopped over the chimney like it was a satin fainting couch. “Now spill what’s crawled into your craw and died, putting you into this foul mood,” Lawrence ordered, examining his now finally unbandaged hand lazily. 

“Probably you manhandling me, dick,” Lydia scowled. 

Lawrence shot her an unimpressed look. “Lyds, you haven’t snapped at D like that  _ once  _ since I’ve come back here. You two are like, all cool now and do all that communication bull. You’re stressed about something and it’s making you go off instead of talking. Did one of the lil punks say something?” There was a dangerous glint in Lawrence’s eye now. 

“No! No, I just… ugh…” Lydia slumped back against the chimney and slid down the brick wall, crossing her arms over her knees and resting her chin on them. “What if they realize that I’m just a freak?” Lydia asked, her voice small. 

Lawrence frowned, and flopped over the edge of the chimney next to her. “You don’t usually worry about what people think of you, kid.”

Lydia shrugged embarrassedly. “I do if I want them to like me. These guys actually seem fun, Beej. Like, Keith is really nice, Cast is pretty cool, Darrin is sweet, and Bea… ugh. I have a major crush on Bea,” Lydia buried her head into her arms fully, likely smudging her makeup to hell. 

“Yeah you do. ‘Bout time you admit it. Scarecrow, you’ve gone to school with these nerds for like four days and hung out with them every time. I dunno how you think you are, but you have always acted the same all the time. Just do what you always do. They’re not just gonna randomly dislike you out of the blue, especially since you’re not obnoxious like me,” Lawrence wiggled a finger near Lydia’s ear, making her lean away, but the uncertain look on her face was starting to fade. 

“Maybe I am overthinking this,” she admitted. 

“You are. Be like me by getting out of the ‘I need to impress them’ mode, and getting back into the ‘They need to impress  _ me _ ’ mode.” Lawrence framed his face with his hands for a moment before moving them to frame Lydia’s. 

“I just don’t wanna blow it. This  _ is _ a new chance for me, like Dad said,” Lydia leaned her head back against the brick. 

“Lyds, even if you do blow it, you’ll still have me, your sibling bfffffffff.” 

“I think you added a few extra f’s there.” 

“You and I both know the author doesn’t keep track of the amount of its f’s in this fanfic.” 

“...What?” 

“Anyways! Don’t stress out about this. Let’s eat some pancakes then go hang out with nerds and see what ‘spooky’ places they know of,” Lawrence flipped off the chimney to his feet, brushing ash off his dark washed jeans. He turned back and offered Lydia a hand, and she begrudgingly took it, but there was a twitch of a relief in her eyes now. 

Then they popped back into the kitchen, making Delia and Charles jump. “Aw, you already plated it! I was so close to triple flipping it, D!” Lawrence complained upon seeing the plate of pancakes next to the stove. 

“Er, is something going on?” Charles asked, looking over to Delia worriedly. Delia bit her lip and turned back to the stove, avoiding eye contact. 

“It’s fine, Dad,” Lydia replied coolly, and joined Delia at the stove. 

“Hey Chuck, how many pancakes do you think I can fit in my mouth?” Lawrence asked, having somehow snuck the pancakes from the counter over to the kitchen table and was eyeing them hungrily. 

“Lawrence, you are going to choke, put that fork down!” Charles forgot about Delia’s worries for a moment as he fell for Lawrence’s distraction. 

Lydia leaned her head against Delia’s arm, staring at the bubbling batter in the pan. “Sorry. I shouldn’t have snapped at you,” she mumbled. 

Delia blinked and quickly threw an arm around Lydia’s shoulders in a tight side hug. “I’m sorry too, I know you enjoy your own style of clothes, and it’s not my place to dictate what you wear... Do you want to talk about what’s bothering you though?” Delia asked quietly. 

Lydia shook her head. “Just nervous. Beej fished me out of my brain,” she replied simply. 

Delia gave Lydia’s arm one last squeeze before turning her attention fully on the pancakes and Lawrence finally let Charles successfully pull the plate of pancakes away from their game of keep away. Charles turned back to see Lydia and Delia both looked appeased, and he gave a sigh of relief. He may have gotten better at emotions, but that didn’t mean he knew how to solve them yet. 

Soon the Maitlands were downstairs and breakfast was eaten. Afterwards, Delia, Charles, Adam and Barbara started discussing garden plans, as the four planned to work in the backyard together today while Lydia and Lawrence were out, and the teen and demon themselves moved to the den with Sandy to prepare for their outing an hour and a half away. 

“I still can’t believe ghosts get NPR tote bags,” Lydia dubiously eyed the white bag hanging off the shoulder of one of the grinning clones, affectionately dubbed Kim Sava apparently. Sandy trilled in agreement from the clone’s lap, pushing the bag away with her nose. 

“Netherworld is cheap, and NPR sells good bulk,” Lawrence replied simply, taking strange trinkets the clone dug out and handed to him and stuffing them into his pockets where they strangely disappeared from sight. After the Gug incident, he wisely made the decision to always be prepared for defense, even if he had Sandy with him. 

“Why do you have so many anyways? You weren’t ever a recently deceased,” Lydia asked curiously, leaning forward to better eye the new handbook that was in the bag. 

“I’m a guide. I have to carry them around to give to ghosts lost out in the world of the living,” Lawrence replied, shoving half a dozen pieces of chalk into his pocket. 

“So you had two jobs,” Lydia’s eyebrows shot up in surprise. 

“Eeeeeeeh,” the clone grimaced, wiggling a hand sarcastically. 

“Yeah, to most people I had  _ a  _ job and a made up excuse to scare the shit out of breathers,” Lawrence’s lips pulled back into a sardonic grin. 

“Wasn’t it?” Lydia couldn’t help her flat tone, she knew Lawrence loved scaring people. 

“I like scaring people, yes,  _ but  _ there is a legit problem for ghosts out there stuck with breathers. Annoying breathers are a thing, yeah, but I’ve gotten a good number of cases where the breathers were dangerous. No one else offered them help, and it was bullshit,” Lawrence was handed a strange smelling dust covered stick that he carefully slid up his sleeve. 

“Breathers that knew how to exorcise ghosts?” Lydia guessed. 

“Yup. I didn’t have anything going on, seeing as I ran away from the Netherworld all the time, so I decided to say fuck the bureaucracy and just help the ghosts scare their problem breathers off myself. I wasn’t approved by the big bosses, though, so that meant that I didn’t have a job technically. God Ma hated that.” Lawrence and the clone shared an exasperated look, and Sandy hissed, displeased at the mention of Juno. “She’d scream at me all the time to get a real job and stop being lazy, even when I’d come limping through her office door barely able to walk from all the shit I was doing.” The clone mocked a nagging mouth with their hand towards Sandy while looking disgusted and bored, making Lawrence smirk amusedly. 

Lydia looked up abruptly from the handbook. “Run away? How old were you?” 

Lawrence looked off into the distance as he did some quick math in his head. “Hm, I think I was about… 1,125, right? I started being able to make you guys around then,” Lawrence looked over to the clone for confirmation, and they nodded. “And I dunno how to do the math to convert that to deadborn years,” Lawrence frowned as he was handed the last item of the tote bag, a large Toblerone bar. He eyed it for a long moment, then tossed it over his shoulder and it disappeared from sight. Sandy looked after it sadly, but didn’t leave the clone’s lap. The clone beamed when Lawrence ruffled their hair in thanks, and they threw the tote bag over the lamp haphazardly. 

Lydia hummed, pulling her phone out to work out the calculation, which caused her eyes to widen. “Fifteen, you were only fifteen years old then. You were the same age as me,” Lydia said, anger flaring up in her eyes. 

“Oh cool!” Lawrence and the clone perked up, and the clone nodded in agreement. 

“No, not cool! I mean, would you put  _ me  _ through all of what  _ you  _ went through at that age?” Lydia growled. Sandy twitched angrily, looking like she wanted to bite someone, but the correct victim was not currently present. 

“I….” Lawrence blinked and looked down, eyebrows crinkling together. The grandfather clock Adam restored chimed, indicating they had only an hour left before they were to go. “I don’t think I can think of that right now,” he finally said as the chime sounded off nine times. 

The clone looked over to Lawrence confusedly. Lawrence, though, refused to make eye contact. “Thanks for the help, bud. See you later.” The clone waved goodbye, though there was sadness weighing them down as they disappeared in a cheap looking puff of smoke, leaving Sandy gently placed on the carpet where they once sat. “Well. I’ve gotten everything I need. What about you?” 

Lydia stared up at him unsure. 

“I’m serious Lyds, I don’t want to be all self-pity right now. Let’s just have fun today,” Lawrence insisted. 

Lydia offered a hand to Sandy who happily coiled around her wrist. Lydia then stood up and let the Sandworm slither off into Lawrence’s shoulders, where she reassuringly rubbed against his cheek. “Okay. Later then, if you want. I should probably get my camera.” 

The tension in Lawrence’s shoulders eased, and the two went on to find Lydia’s camera and wait out the final remaining hour. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! I’m here with some news! I’m gonna be 20 soon! Whoa! Yeah this coming Tuesday I will no longer technically be a teenager. Life is so strange, I don’t feel like I’m any older than when I was like fifteen some days, and others the crotchety old grandma in me shines right through.   
> This fic has been going on for almost five months now as well! We’re at chapter 32 now, jeez! It’s all just so crazy, I kind of thought this would have ended like fifteen chapters ago when I first started this fic, yet here we are. I will say, after this arc of Lydia making friends, I do believe we’ll be in the final stretch of the story, if my ideas pan out. As for how long that final stretch will be end up being will depend, aha. Thanks for sticking with this for so long! I hope you all have enjoyed reading this fic as much as I’ve had writing it.   
> You can find me on tumblr at [@daydreaming-jessi](https://daydreaming-jessi.tumblr.com/)


	26. Most Terrifying Places in Danbury

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Darrin leads everyone on a tour through the spooks and oddities of Danbury, including an old haunted house, and a library? That librarian seems familiar....

It was a strangely fitting day to be scouting out the odd sights of town. The clouds were determined to keep the sun dimmed, the breeze was starting to gain an autumnal bite to it, and the streets were strangely empty for a Saturday afternoon. Lydia was leading Lawrence to their destination with directions texted to her by Darrin, as they’d all meet together at their first stop. Darrin was determined to keep it a mystery of some kind, which made Lawrence nervous, but Lydia thought it was typical of what she knew of the teen already. He had a flair for the dramatic, and nothing stopped it. 

They reached the first stop, an eerily empty street in a small nearby neighborhood devoid of life. There were no cars parked anywhere, no bodies walking down the sidewalk or moving in the houses lining the street. It was like some kind of abandoned movie set Lawrence had said. Lydia took his word for it, having not been to such a thing herself. 

“Uh, where are the other losers?” Lawrence asked, his hands stuffed into his pockets when they reached the stopping point to find no one else there. It was a driveway to a house for sale, lined with hedges that barely made a sound despite the breeze. 

“We’re the closest to this place, so I guess we got here first?” Lydia looked around suspiciously. It was strangely quiet. Even the trees that were rustling moments before had stilled. Lawrence groaned, already bored of waiting, and looked around disinterestedly. 

Lydia herself was more curious in her look around, wondering what had caused this neighborhood to appear so empty today, when she heard a noise. She looked over her shoulder uneasily, and heard another sound. It sounded like gravel crunching, but she wasn’t entirely sure that was all. “Hey, Beej-“ She began to speak, when something violently exploded out of the hedges next to them. 

“Boo!” 

Lydia felt the air rush out of her lungs as a heavy weight slammed into her, and wavy blond hair filled her eyes. Lawrence stared at the commotion going on next to him, blinking in surprise before looking over to the two other forms pushing through the hedges after the first one. 

“Skye, you’re gonna give someone  _ else  _ a heart attack doing shit like that,” Cast warned, she and Bea watching fondly as Skye squeezed Lydia tight. 

“It’s what we do!” Skye replied, sticking her tongue out at Cast, and Lydia placed a hand on the young girl’s head. 

“She’s right, this is our thing. Didn’t expect to see you coming along, Skye,” Lydia agreed, feeling her tension drain away at the sight of the other three girls. 

“You think I wouldn’t come hang out with you guys again? Ohmygosh, Lydia, I can’t believe you agreed to Darrin’s spooky tour! This is gonna be so much fun, you’re gonna love it! You too, Beej, you’ll love this so much! There're so many cool things in this town, I barely ever get to see them, but they’re the best!” Skye bounced in place excitedly, her hair shaking like dried grass. She looked different without her Girl Scout uniform, less prim and neat, and more like an actual twelve year old kid. 

“We’ll see about that,” Lawrence huffed, looking away bored once more, trying to ignore Skye as he hugged his arm in greeting. Lydia still saw a flash of pink under the hat Charles had lent Lawrence. 

“So, Mr. Spider Vomiter himself really did come. What’s the nickname Beej all about if your name’s Lawrence?” Cast asked. 

“That’s for me to know and you to always puzzle out,” Lawrence replied with a smirk. 

“It’s hard to explain,” Lydia added, she and Skye exchanging a look. How exactly would you explain the story of Lawrence to others? That was a backstory to slowly unlock over time. If ever. 

“Cast you know the thing about nicknames. Never ask someone to explain it. Anyways, Darrin and Keith are waiting for us at the house. Let’s get going,” Bea interjected, moving to walk next to Lydia, to her delight. She ignored the smug leer Lawrence shot her. 

“The house?” Lydia asked as the five started to walk. 

“Darrin will want to explain, he’s the one that loves telling these stories,” Bea replied, shaking her head amusedly. 

“Are you sure this isn’t some sort of cult induction ceremony,” Lawrence muttered to Lydia, while picking his teeth. 

Cast snorted while Bea smirked. “I don’t think we’re skilled enough to run a cult,” Bea answered. 

“Imagine if you guys  _ did _ run a cult, though! What would you even worship?” Skye thought, moving skip backwards as she stared wide eyed before Cast and Bea. 

“I’d suggest something involving Pagan traditions, there’s some people around here interested in Wicca that we could easily induct into our cult,” Bea said. 

“Oh but there  _ has _ to be a modern twist, that’s what all the hipsters are about,” Cast added, tossing loose hair over her shoulder. 

“You’ll want to offer drugs. People rave for drugs,” Lawrence spoke up, and Lydia finally sputtered in laughter. 

“God, if anyone heard us right now, they’d be calling the cops,” she grinned. 

“Maybe in your guys’ neighborhood. You’re the fools that live with an HOA around, but here we’re free to be the hooligans we truly are,” Cast stuck her nose up in the air, a smile twitching at her own lips. 

“You guys let the threat of cops stop you? Weak.” Lawrence seemed to meld well with the flow, and Lydia felt it could only get better when Darrin and Keith joined in. Her unease fell further back in her mind, and Lydia fully focused on the stories Skye was telling her. 

When they reached the house, Lawrence and Lydia stared at it wide eyed. Run down, choking with plant life, looking ready to fall apart and yet standing stronger than most modern homes, the house was old. Older than any of the other buildings making up the neighborhood. It exuded a presence, one Lydia was familiar with. It was exactly the same as her new home when they first arrived. Both of the houses were lonely, broken, and yet twitched with unexplained life. It caused a shiver down spines, even for Lawrence. 

“The old Bell house, the horror house cliche brought to life,” Cast hummed while Skye clung onto her arm subconsciously. 

“Where are Darrin and Keith?” Lydia asked, looking around the block quizzically. 

“Yo!” 

The girls jumped from Darrin’s echoing voice splitting through the silent street, while Lawrence stared at the boy who had appeared above the crooked fence separating the jungle of the front yard from the back yard. Darrin grinned, and waved the group over. “C’mon, Keith is holding the door open!” 

“Oh good god, Darrin, are we really breaking into the house again?” Cast groused when they had reached the teen boy. 

“Why not? The two Deetz here haven’t even heard of this place yet, they gotta see the spooks inside,” Darrin grinned widely, crossing his arms over the fence. 

“Is it safe in there? Seems pretty rundown,” Lydia asked, raising an eyebrow. 

“W-Safe? We care about safety now? Fuck that noise,” Lawrence’s nose wrinkled in disgust, and before anyone could blink he was on the other side of the fence. “Let’s trespass and go get black lung!” Lawrence grinned excitedly and disappeared behind the house. 

“He’s got the right idea! C’mon,” Darrin held his hand out to help the others over the fence. 

“I mean, we technically have adult supervision don’t we? So it won’t be so bad,” Bea said to Lydia reassuringly as Cast and Darrin got Skye over the fence. 

“Oh no you have it backwards. It’s not Beej supervising us, it’s us supervising  _ him _ ,” Lydia replied. 

Bea laughed as she threw a leg over the fence, before reaching a hand to help Lydia up. Her hands were warm and Lydia could feel her palms tingling from Bea’s touch. “I find that to be the case with most adults, to be honest. Don’t worry, I’ll make sure to keep your ghost company if you do end up dying here.” 

“And I’ll do the same for you, so long as you help me take some cool photos,” Lydia couldn’t help but feel a slight hint of irony at their joke. 

“Oh so I have to work even in death? Damn, and here I was hoping I’d finally be able to take a proper thousand year nap as a ghost.” 

The six traipsed their way through the waist high wild grass to the back of the house, where they found Keith peeking through the dirty back windows. He turned and shot them all a smile when he heard them coming. “Hey, didn’t think you were gonna bring Skye, Cast,” he noted. 

“I managed to convince her folks to let her come, and since Lydia brought her brother, I thought it was only fair. The fosters don't know what exactly we’re doing, so you guys have to keep quiet unless you want to doom us to an eternity of being grounded.” Skye nodded emphatically at Cast’s side, as if everyone else would ever do otherwise. “So, are we going in the usual way through the basement?” Cast joined Keith at the window, shielding her eyes from the light of the day as she peered inside. 

“No other way to go without breaking a lock, unless Bea figured out lockpicking in one of her mindless YouTube wanderings,” Keith replied. 

“No dice. I do know how to make a mean brioche now that I want to test on you guys later though,” Bea replied. 

“Well I found my souvenir, so this trip is worth it now,” Lawrence suddenly reappeared before they had realized he had vanished, holding a rusted piece of twisted metal in his hands, looking like a smug cat with its prey. 

“You really can’t deny your hoarding instinct can you? What is that?” Lydia asked with a smirk. 

“Iunno, might’ve been a weed wacker at one point. Reminds me of Bab’s and Adam’s old bad art, though, so I’m keeping it.” Lawrence hefted it over his shoulder with ease. 

“Better be careful with it. Could get tetanus if you hurt yourself on it,” Skye said warningly, but she shot Lawrence a wink, which made the demon snort amusedly, despite himself. 

“Ah! Found the basement door, but it needs to be pried open, it’s covered in weeds,” Darrin spoke up, bringing the attention back to the issue at hand. 

“Oh hey, your hoarding issue has a use after all. C’mon, Beej,” Lydia pulled the reluctant demon over to Darrin. The basement door was a typical wooden hatch dug into the ground, but thick weeds had taken over, making it near impossible to spot and pull open in one fell swoop. Lydia, Lawrence and Darrin wedged the weedwacker into the hatch after a moment of fenangaling, and on the count of three, they began to pry it open. 

The rotting old wood groaned and started to bend ever so slightly upward, but the grass stayed stubbornly in place. 

“You know we probably should’ve waited later in the year to try this, when the grass was dead and easy to pull out,” Keith noted, keeping Skye a safe distance away from the others in case something went wrong. 

“It’s the only way through, I dunno if we can squeeze in through the bathroom window like usual, that was a tight fit even when we were middle schoolers,” Darrin huffed, standing up and pushing his beanie away from his forehead. 

Lydia glared at the grass then looked over to Lawrence curiously. “You didn’t pack a knife did you?” She asked quietly. 

Lawrence eyed the grass, then reached forward and snapped once. The green grass blades melted away to yellow, and Lawrence wrenched the weed whacker once more and the wood split away from the entrance with an air splitting crack making everyone else but Lydia jump. A cloud of musty, dust filled air shot out with the wood, making Lydia cough and reminded Lawrence of old times long past. 

“Got it!” Lawrence crowed, and held the weed whacker aloft. “You have done as needed, oh weed whacker, and so you may rest now,” Lawrence leaned the weed whacker against the house, and peered down the basement stairs leading to darkness. “Well, that’s unstable as hell. Geranimo!” He hopped down the stairs into the dark below. 

“Hey wait up!” Skye quickly followed, leaving the exasperated teens with actual flashlights to follow behind. 

Inside the group found themselves in a dusty old maze of a basement, rows of shelves building nonsensical paths lined with old junk and strangers’ unknown memorabilia. 

“So, now that we’re in the house, it’s time for a history lesson!” Darrin declared as he clicked his flashlight on, shining it under his chin with a wide grin. 

“Ew,” Lawrence already started to wander the basement, poking through the old property. Lydia and Bea followed him, Bea turning her own flashlight on, while Cast and Skye split off close by to them and Keith and Darrin slowly made their way through the center most path, clasping hands as if they were strolling through a park rather than a musty basement. 

“Once long ago, back around the 1800’s if I remember right, this house was built,” Darrin went onwards, ignoring Lawrence’s hackling. “I can’t say anything about the family that lived here, but one day after about a couple weeks of complete radio silence, a neighbor sent his farmhand to check on the family. That farmhand came running back for the marshal, and the whole family was declared dead. Everyone was saying the family was murdered ala poison , but eventually in the 80’s it was discovered that the family actually just died of co2 poisoning. The chimney had stopped up, and no one had cleaned it for weeks, and so they passed away in their sleep.” 

“That was lame of those exhumers. If I died, I’d rather be a tragedy caused by someone else rather than my own stupidity,” Cast noted, she and Skye peering into a box of cobwebs and cloth. 

“Right? A mysterious murder means people will talk about me for decades, but co2 poisoning? Lame,” Skye agreed. 

“Well I think those ghosts agree with you, ‘cause when that story came out, the people living here reported a huge spike of paranormal activity. I mean, there was the typical output at first, y’know?” Darrin flashed a light over the toy dotted shelves he and Keith were inspecting, flashing twisted shadows over the walls. 

“Typical output?” Lydia asked, looking up from the stacks of moldy books she and Bea were scavenging for an intact copy. 

“You know, the usual stuff that occurs in a house that can be easily explained but bored people turn into a paranormal story to spice their life,” Keith explained, making Darrin squawk indignantly. 

“Let me finish my story and let them decide for themselves, jerk!” Darrin pouted at Keith, who snickered and placed a placating peck on Darrin’s exposed temple. 

“Ok, ok, go on with your ghost story.” 

“ _ History lesson _ . Anyways, so the owners reported typical paranormal activity, like doors opening on their own, strange bumps sounding off in the night, weird specks of light obscuring digital photos, but when I say the activity ramped up, I mean  _ ramped up _ . One owner claimed they were walking down the stairs when all of the pictures they’d had hung up on the wall came crashing down, even cut their legs up, and there are photos to prove it!” Darrin shot Keith a pointed look, and Keith simply looked away innocuously. 

“Ooh, I should write that one down,” Lawrence said under his breath as he investigated an abandoned mouse nest. Lydia nudged his calf with her foot and placed a finger to her lips while motioning to the nearby Bea. 

“Did the walls ooze slime?” Skye popped above a shelf to peer down at the nearby Darrin and Keith, standing safely on Cast’s shoulders as she dragged an interesting cloth covered lump over to investigate. 

“Nah, nothing quite as creative. You’ll have to give the ghoulies hiding around here some tips,” Darrin replied, smirking up at the younger girl. 

“I’ll remember to do that!” Skye shot Lawrence and Lydia a meaningful look, but the two already had the idea stored away for later use. 

“So the haunting around here ramped up, freaking people out, and residents even began to develop health issues if they stayed here too long, reminiscent of co2 poisoning, until people refused to live here anymore. There’s always talk of turning this into a historical landmark, but no one wants to stay in here long enough to do that, lest they become the victims of the ghost family,” Darrin popped out of the shelves next to Lydia, menacingly wriggling his fingers at her while his flashlight cast eerie shadows on his face. 

“Not much of a scary story, as an elaborate scheme to get insurance, is it?” Lydia panned, shooting Darrin an unimpressed look. Keith and Bea laughed at that, while Darrin shot Lydia an injured pout. 

“Aw, come on! It’s at least a little freaky down here, isn’t it?” Darrin asked, shining his light around the desolate basement. 

“There is a haunting presence down here, I’ll give you that,” she relinquished, gazing at the twisted shadows that danced over the walls. 

“We used to go upstairs, but it’s pretty rotten up there these days, and the floor is pretty unstable. Some other kids fell through last summer, so we’ve started to avoid going up there,” Keith was now at a staircase that presumably led upwards. He grabbed a hold of the railing scaling up the wooden stairs and shook it, causing a knee trembling creak that instantly warded off any thought of climbing up them. 

“What? So we can’t even go see where the family croaked? Lame,” Lawrence scowled, appearing next to Lydia and Darrin, causing the latter to jump. 

“I think the fosters would suspect something was up if we came home limping because we were dumb and walked out on a floor half rotted away that gave out underneath us,” Cast’s voice was heavy with sarcasm as she and Skye joined the others. 

“Aw, do you mean I won’t be able to see upstairs?” Skye stared up to the ceiling dejectedly. 

“You didn’t miss much, it’s just a bunch of gross furniture at most up there. This basement is where everything interesting is at,” Bea said, patting the young girl’s head reassuringly. 

“Yeah, I think we’ve gone through the cool vibes of this place. Shall we move on to our next special location? It’s only going to get spookier from,” Darrin wriggled his eyebrows while shooting Lydia and Lawrence a wide grin. 

“If they’re cooler than this dump. Feels more like a grandma’s basement than something scary,” Lawrence huffed, scratching his ear under his hat. 

“I dunno, there is something kind of scary about old people’s basements,” Lydia pointed out. 

“I think it’s the realization that at the end of your life you hoard mementos of the past life trying to hang onto your youth in a futile attempt to deny your upcoming inevitable demise,” Bea surmised. 

Everyone fell silent as they contemplated Bea’s words. “Or it could be the dread that you’ll have to sort out all that crap when the old coots finally pass,” Lawrence broke the silence. 

“That’s a fair theory,” Cast said, while everyone else nodded in agreement. 

“Onto the next scare?” Darrin asked, bringing his original question back to point. 

A groan freaked out throughout the home. Everyone quieted, and stared at each other wide eyed as the noise drew out. “Um, that sounded like a person,” Cast whispered. 

“No one else would be here, we would’ve seen them,” Darrin’s eyes were wide, and shining, his voice heavy with excited implication. 

“It’s not a ghost, Darrin, it’s probably some squatter and we should get the hell out of here,” Bea hissed. 

“Wait, where’s Skye?” Lydia looked around when she realized the Girl Scout was missing.

“Shit! Skye?” Cast looked around wildly for the young girl, her light swinging over the basement desperately. 

“Lawrence is gone, maybe he and her went off?” Keith suggested, putting a reassuring hand on Cast’s now trembling shoulder. 

The house shuddered, forcing the teens to huddle together. “ _ Out, now _ !” A deep voice reverberated through the walls. 

They heard Skye scream upstairs, and that sent Lydia and Cast racing up the stairs. Cast kicked the rotting door open and the two girls burst into the living room of the abandoned house, where dust was resettling from the earlier disturbance. “Skye, where are you?” Cast called out. 

“Tell us where you are!” Lydia added. 

They could hear the others hurrying up the stairs after them, and under the footsteps, Lydia could hear Lawrence swearing in the room next to them. The house began to tremble once more, and something cracked above them. Lydia ducked through the half broken doorway after Lawrence amidst the chaos. 

It was a dining hall, and Lydia found Lawrence with an iron clad grip around an old fashioned looking bearded man’s neck. Skye stood behind him with wide eyes, but her arms were held out protectively, and Lydia realized another kid was hiding behind Skye, wearing old fashioned clothes similar to the man. 

“Beej!” Lydia hissed. Skye looked up, and grabbed the boy’s hand, and dragged him with her to Lydia’s side. 

Lawrence glanced over to them, then gritted his teeth as he conjured up a clone. The house began to tremble harder, the broken windows rattled, beginning to crack and splinter. “Left pocket!” Lawrence growled to the clone. They nodded, already digging through his jeans pocket. They drew a quick door and knocked on it. Green mist curled out of the cracked open door, and Lawrence grunted, and threw the man through the door. The man howled furiously, snapping his hands out and clawing at the edges of the door. 

“ _ Little bastard! I’ll show you! I’ll get you, and when I do I’ll make you sorry! _ ” The man screeched at the trembling boy hiding behind Skye and Lydia. Skye’s eyes blazed, and Lawrence appeared in front of the man. 

“Eat shit, fucker,” Lawrence growled, and kicked the man hard in the chest. The man flew backwards and the door slammed shut, sealing into a wall once more. 

The house settled, and the four took a breath. “Skye!” Cast’s voice rang out nearby, and the clone puffed away in an instant. The boy scurried off, and the four teens appeared in the dining room door. 

“Shit, what happened? Are you okay, are you hurt?” Cast was already crouched in front of Skye, looking her over. 

“Now’s not the time, this house could crash down on us at any time, let’s  _ go _ !” Bea ordered, grabbing Cast’s arm. 

The group hightailed it down to the basement and out the yard, where they all paused to take a breath. 

“Skye, I  _ told  _ you to stay close to me! What happened?” Cast demanded. 

“I thought I heard someone cry out, so I went to go see. Lawrence went after me and scared me, that’s it,” Skye replied quickly. Lydia spared a look with Lawrence, who was doubled over and panting heavily after exerting more effort than the others knew. 

“God, I didn’t think the house was  _ that  _ unstable, fuck,” Darrin had pushed his hat off his head and clutched it tightly in one hand while the other raked through his messy dark hair. 

“No one was hurt, right? You okay, Lawrence? You look pretty out of it,” Keith looked over to the demon worriedly. 

Lawrence waved it off, but his hand was trembling. “Oh, just not used to spontaneous running. Just, uh, need to take a sec,” he went to sit down heavily on the porch leading to what was presumably the back door, looking pale. 

Lydia stared at him in concern, before looking over to the others. “Um, we’ll meet you guys out front. Just give us a minute,” she said. 

“Is he gonna be okay? We can cut this day short, no worries,” Darrin offered. 

“It’s fine, just give us a sec.” Lydia turned away before any arguments could be made and she crouched down before Lawrence while the other teens slowly went on. 

“Beej? What’s wrong?” Lydia eyed the white hairs poking out from Lawrence’s hat. Slowly she offered her hand, and Lawrence took it, squeezing tightly. 

“He just… just hit that kid. Called him a useless waste of space. Like it didn’t even fucking matter,” Lawrence whispered. 

Lydia felt her heart clench. “He can’t hurt that boy anymore. You made sure of that,” she reassured Lawrence. 

“Did it not matter? Did it ever fucking matter to him how much that shit hurt?” Red began to sprout through the white and Lawrence squeezed his eyes shut, brow scrunching together with fury. 

Lydia wasn’t sure what to say, she could only clasp his hand reassuringly, until she heard someone moving. She and Lawrence looked up, and saw the young boy again, but this time he was joined by a woman with an even younger girl in the woman’s arms. They all stared at each other for a moment, until the woman stepped closer. 

“You… you made Joseph leave? How?” She asked, her voice croaking from disuse. In the light, Lydia could see their clothes were more night gowns and long Johns than actual clothing, and their faces were blue, like they had choked. 

“He’s in the Netherworld now,” Lawrence said slowly, eyeing the woman suspiciously. The woman gasped, moving a hand to her mouth. 

“So he’s gone? He’s really gone?” Her voice was desperate and raw. 

“As gone as you can be in the Netherworld,” Lydia answered. 

The woman crouched next to them, and she clasped Lawrence with the hand unoccupied by the girl. “Thank you,” the woman breathed. She hugged Lawrence tightly, who was frozen stiff with shock. When the woman pulled back, she was smiling. “Thank you.” 

She stood once more, and turned back to the young boy, who quickly hurried forward and took her other hand. He gave Lawrence a small smile, and the three vanished, leaving Lydia and Lawrence on a quiet porch. 

Lydia looked back to Lawrence, and smiled. “Looks like you did good,” she said. 

Lawrence slowly shrugged, face neutral. “Let’s get back to everyone else.” His hair was green again as he stood up. 

“Alright,” Lydia agreed. 

When they joined everyone else, Lydia reassured them they were fine to go on if they wanted. 

“I think it’s going to be a bit more safe now. So long as no one wanders off,” Darrin told them, tweaking Skye’s hair playfully. 

“I already promised a billion times! Can we go?” She asked excitedly. 

They started off, but Skye quickly pulled Lawrence and Lydia to the back, away from prying ears while the others were distracted with a discussion about combing killer bees with tarantula hawks. “Are you okay? I’m so sorry, I know I shouldn’t have done that, but that boy looked so scared of that old guy, and when that old guy hit him, I just… reacted,” she stared up to Lawrence with teary eyes that were so adorable he could gag. 

“It’s fine. Not being able to ever tell anyone you kicked the shins of a piece of shut dead guy is punishment enough for wandering off,” Lawrence replied, grinning wickedly. 

“Whoa, didn’t think you had a mean bone in your body, Skye. Good work,” Lydia smirked. 

Skye smiled, looking more at ease. “Well, a little violence against abusive dead people isn’t  _ too _ bad,” she agreed. 

And so the day went on. The seven journeyed through the town, traveling to old abandoned buildings with gruesome pasts, unnatural spots of woods said to have been places of unsolved disappearances, and when they reached the library said to have been a spot of witch trials, Lydia and Lawrence had to admit they were impressed. 

In the buildings they saw flashes of strangers that shot them dirty looks, that no one else seemed to have visibly noticed, the stories Darrin recited were increasingly haunting, involving more and more unexplainable occurrences that were in line with what Lydia knew ghosts could do, and she could tell Lawrence was developing a liking for the others, even if he’d never say. 

The library was grand and impressive, though there weren’t as many people around as one would hope. “The witch trials that took place in Connecticut were the first large scale ones to take place in America. They went on about thirty years before Salem, the posers. Rumor has it that if you come in here at night, you can hear the ‘witches’ that were tried decades ago,” Darrin explained as they looked over the building. 

“I feel like this isn’t a part of your tour,” Lydia noted, side eyeing the teen. 

Darrin stilled, then cracked a wide grin and laughed. “Yeah ok, we’re here ‘cause Bea and I have books to drop off. But it’s still got spooky history, and I think people need to appreciate libraries more,” he admitted. 

“Hm… yup I think I’m gonna bail on this one,” Lawrence turned away to head off. 

“What are you gonna do instead?” Lydia asked, slightly suspicious. 

Lawrence looked back with a smirk. “That’s for y'all to find out on the news later. See you book nerds when you’re done.” He disappeared before they could blink. 

“His loss,” Darrin grabbed Keith’s hand and dragged him into the building, Cast and Skye close behind. 

“Should we warn the police?” Bea asked, she and Lydia paused to see if Lawrence would reappear. 

“Nah, I wanna see what this library holds. We’ll bail him out if he needs us to,” Lydia replied, turning and heading up the stairs to the building. 

“They have a great selection of photography books, you’ll love it.” 

The air conditioning was blasting when Lydia and Bea stepped through the doors. A few people were walking through the distant shelves, beyond the checkout desk. Before Lydia could look any further, though, Skye appeared at her side and hurriedly drug Lydia and Bea through the shelves to the side. 

“Whoa, hey, Skye what’re you doing?” Bea stumbled at the utter speed the Girl Scout was dragging them. Skye stopped them behind a bookshelf full of picture books, and peeked out one end. 

“Skye, is this a weird joke? Because I don’t get it,” Lydia said slowly. 

Skye looked back over her shoulder and shot Lydia a panicked look. “It’s  _ her _ ! The kidnapper!” 

Lydia furrowed her brow confusedly, and moved to look over Skye’s head, as did Bea. She felt her eyes widen when she saw a familiar shock of blue hair at the checkout desk, as Leanne Juleherd helped Darrin check in a couple books he’d borrowed. “Oh shit,” Lydia murmured, now glad that Lawrence wandered off. 

“Yeah I saw her through the window.” 

The three girls startled and Bea’s fist shot out instinctually, but Lawrence ducked out of the way fast enough to avoid getting socked in the jaw. “Jesus! Don’t do that,” Bea gasped, pressing a hand to her beating heart. 

“I thought you weren’t coming in here!” If looks could kill, then Lydia would’ve murdered Lawrence a second time already. 

“Decided that I didn’t want to chance her seeing me, so I snuck in through the back. So, how shall we ruin her day?” Lawrence asked, peeking out at the worker. 

“Who is that? And why would we ruin her day?” Bea asked confusedly. 

“Leanne Juleherd!” Skye said venomously, her eyes narrowed with suspicion. “Do you think she followed us here? Is this some sort of plot?” Skye pondered. 

“No, I don’t think she’d pretend to be a librarian just to stalk us considering it’s been weeks,” Lydia replied amusedly. “As for ruining her day, I mean… I’m open to suggestions.” 

“Wait, hold on, I’m gonna need some backstory here,” Bea held her hand up before crossing her arms and looking at them expectantly. 

The three exchanged a look, and Lawrence spoke up slowly. “She and I got into a little conflict, a few weeks back. Acted  _ real  _ self righteous about it, and I say a little scare wouldn’t be the worst thing to do as a little payback to her.” 

Bea pursed her lips, tapped her forefinger against her arm, then nodded. “Ok. I’m in. If it’s something like your little spider trick, you’ll want to do it somewhere private. The microfilm machine room is the perfect spot,” she said with a slow smirk. 

“You think Darrin, Cast and Keith would join in?” Lydia asked. 

“Oh hell yeah. Spooky tour has gotten ten times spookier.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok this was fun but for some reason it took me a while to write?? Idk why, I no longer have any chapters in stock, I need to get writing like, NOW.  
> but this was fun. This arc (how did this become an arc) is bigger than intended. I hope to wrap it up next chapter.... hopefully... but for now it’s back to writing!  
> You can find me on tumblr at  
> [@daydreaming-jessi](https://daydreaming-jessi.tumblr.com/)


	27. Time to Pop Some Tags

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Spooky Tour continues! Leanne gets a fright, a spooky thrift shop is explored, and Beej makes a friend along with Lydia!

“So which films do you four need to see particularly?” Leanne asked as she sorted through the library keychain. 

“Some stuff around the 1910’s, the project is about how the world may have built up to the Great Depression even before 1929,” Darrin answered smoothly. 

“Wow, heavy stuff for high school. And here I thought college asked for hefty projects,” Leanne noted, unlocking the door to the stairwell. The stairwell was poorly lit, one of the many consequences of running such an old building, and the footsteps of the librarian and four teens echoed loudly on the concrete walls as they made their way to the sub basement of the library. 

“Well it’s an AP class, so it gets going fast,” Keith’s eyes darted around nervously, searching for the signal from the other three. Bea elbowed his ribs, shooting him a glare that told him to keep from over detailing their story. 

“Ah, that’ll do it,” Leanne paused on the floor landing below and flicked the light switch, but no light turned on. Leanne wrinkled her brow and tried the light again, but to her annoyance it was no dice. “Lousy wiring,” she grumbled before glancing over to the four kids shuffling down the stairs behind her. She looked back to the light switch and gave it a smack while muttering a carnation under her breath, forcing a jolt of electricity through the device. The lights finally flickered on, revealing the hallway before them lined with old wooden doors. “There we go. So the equipment here is kind of old and delicate. I’ll need to supervise you guys to make sure you don’t accidentally break something, or else we’ll be left with nothing,” Leanne said, directing the kids down the hallway. 

“No kidding,” Cast hummed, casting a sidelong glance to the others. 

Something skittered distantly in the hallway. Leanne sharply looked up, her eyes scanning through the dim lighting for whatever caused the noise. “I swear if those rats are back…. Anyways, you guys will get about two hours with the machine, then you’ll have to come back in tomorrow if you want to do it again. The old girl can’t go on for too long without overheating and there may be other people who want to use it,” she continued, pulling the keychain out once more to sort through the mess of unlabeled keys. Bless the elderly owners who ran this building, but their idea of a sorted system was a little lacking in some areas. 

“So, hey, did you ever spend nights here?” Darrin asked conversationally. 

“A few, why?” Leanne asked absentmindedly as she fiddled with the keys. 

“Well there’s just some rumors, and I wondered if you’d had any experiences with them,” Darrin shot the other three a smirk. 

“Yeah, they say that you can hear voices here at night, like, voices of people who aren’t actually there,” Cast agreed. 

“What, like ghosts?” The corner of Leanne’s mouth twitched up. 

“Yeah, exactly. I mean, this _was_ a place where some of the famous Connecticut witch trials took place,” Bea said, leaning against the wall and surreptitiously began to knock a pattern out against the wall. 

“And they say you can hear them here, screaming, at night,” Keith added, looking over to Darrin hopefully. Darrin nodded reassuringly, making Keith smile, knowing he heard it right. 

“Well I dunno about all that. Old buildings all have a vibe to them. Makes people jumpy and think they hear and see things. I mean, it certainly can get creepy at night,” Leanne held the keys up to the light, starting to get annoyed at how disorganized they were. She felt the back of her neck start tingling, and noticed the rising of goosebumps along her arms. 

“It’s just sad, you know? Lots of people died, were murdered. And people say some _pretty_ scary stuff murdered souls. They’re not at peace, and can’t ever rest. They’re vengeful, and have gone mad from how long they’ve been cooped up on earth,” Darrin pretended to look sadly over to the others, who pulled sad faces of their own. 

Leanne felt like something brushed against her leg, but nothing was there. She was barely paying attention to the teen’s conversation, the feeling of being watched prickling dread all throughout her body. Leanne stared uncertainly down the hall, trying to see if anything would come out. 

“The victims probably don’t even remember who all killed them, or that the folks who killed them are already dead themselves. They probably just want to make the whole world pay for their injustice,” Bea straightened up once more. 

“And what better way to get justice back than by having vengeance?” Cast said. 

Suddenly the lights popped out, and Bea let out a pretend shriek, and the teen’s instantly backed away from Leanne. “Hold on, I think the power must’ve surged,” Leanne curses herself for overdoing the electricity, digging into her pocket for her phone and the flashlight on it. 

She flicked it on and found herself in an empty hall. “Uh, kiddos? You guys still here?” Leanne looked around confusedly. 

Something wet and cold dropped onto the bridge of her nose. She rubbed it off and examined it carefully. Dark, almost black red liquid, smelling strongly of iron. A presence filled the hallway. The scent of seawater and bone dust filled her nose. It was too familiar. Leanne narrowed her eyes. 

Something whispered, blowing past her ear. Something brushed against her leg again. A quiet groaning began to rise up. Leanne focused on the noise. 

Slowly she felt an energy forming to her left, coming closer, closer, until… 

“Boo.” 

Leanne felt an ice cold hand close around her wrist, and she reacted quickly. She grabbed hold of it and twisted Beetlejuice’s arm around until it was pressed up uncomfortably against his back. 

“Owowowowow! Le-go!” Beetlejuice howled. 

“Turn the lights on, first,” Leanne huffed. The fluorescent bulbs flickered back on, and Leanne let the demon go. “Seriously? Boo? What are you five?” Leanne asked, giving Beetlejuice an unimpressed glare. 

He glared right back, rubbing his arm. “Every time I run into you, my arm gets hurt. What the fuck?” He complained, examining his upper arm. 

Leanne rolled her eyes. “I would feel sorry for you if you hadn’t just fucked with me. We’re those kids even real? Or just something you conjured up?” She asked, crossing her arms. 

“Oh you think now I’m going to start telling you things?” Beetlejuice asked with a nasty smirk. 

Leanne threw her hands up into the air. “I’m at work! I can’t be here wandering off like some sort of airhead just because you’re bored! What are you even doing here anyways? Don’t you, like, live with a couple of humans?” 

“I’m taking in the sights of the town. Can’t a ghoul do that?” Beetlejuice asked, moving his hands into his jacket pockets. 

“Not if it’s gonna be bothering me at work,” Leanne pushed her glasses up and rubbed her eyes tiredly, fed up with dealing with this. “Look, you know what, do what you’re gonna do. The security will probably kick you out soon if I know you well enough, and I’m fairly sure I do, so just-“ 

Leanne turned and screamed upon the sight of the giant form behind her, dripping blood and reaching a hand out towards her. 

She backpedaled into Beetlejuice who cackled, but kept her from falling to the floor. “You didn’t even let us say boo,” Lydia said as she peeked her head out through the heavy jacket, while Skye, perched upon the teen’s shoulders, pushed Lydia’s black wide brimmed hat up to expose her own face. The four teens poked out of the broom closet behind the two girls with wide grins. 

“Oh hey, there they are!” Beetlejuice crowed. Leanne glared up at him, her glasses askew, and promptly stomped on his foot. “Ow.” 

Keith helped Lydia set Skye down from her shoulders while the other three teens helped Leanne mop the blood away. “You couldn’t even make it be an illusionary blood?” Leanne had hissed at Lawrence midway through. He only continued to fold the giant black coat up unbothered. 

When they were done, Leanne tiredly rubbed her face. “Well if you actually needed to use the microfilms, you’ve used up your two hours.” 

“Nah, we just wanted to pull a little prank,” Darrin grinned, slinging an arm over Lydia and Bea’s shoulders. 

“Why are you even here, then? You didn’t come looking for me, did you? Because I will call the cops if you did, that’s creepy and stalking,” Leanne narrowed her eyes suspiciously at Lydia, Skye and Lawrence. 

“No, we were just looking around here when we saw you. That’s when we decided to have some fun,” Lydia replied. Lawrence snickered, and the other kids exchanged wide grins. They all were clearly proud of themselves, not even cleaning up the mess had put a damper on their spirits. 

Leanne sighed, wondering if her shift was close to being over yet. “Well don’t try this again. This place is usually full of little kids and something like this could scar them for life. I don’t want to be the reason for future therapy. I mean it, don’t you even think about pulling something on the elementary kids. I will seriously ban you,” Leanne pointed accusingly at Skye, Lydia and Lawrence, the latter two innocently batted their eyes back while Skye stared back with distrustful eyes. 

Leanne led them back up the stairs and returned to work, moving to sort through returned books in the _back_ , rather than man the checkout desk. Bea and Lydia checked out a few photography books, Darrin got a newly released historical essay about the evolution of cryptid sightings throughout history that Bea recommended, Keith grabbed a book of gothic poetry, and Skye convinced Cast to read a young adult book series with her. Lawrence simply made faces whenever he thought Leanne could see him. Then they were done with the library, backpacks now more laden with books, and they set off to the last of their spooky tour. 

“Never thought I’d see the day Skye actually disliked someone. Still wanna hear the story between you three and that lady,” Darrin commented, moving to walk backwards to eye Lawrence and Lydia curiously. 

“We’ll see. First you have to show us something actually cool,” Lawrence replied. 

“Hey, you two have been impressed by some of the sights! Don’t even try to deny it, I can see it in your eyes!” Darrin grinned widely as he placed his fists on his hips challengingly. 

“Yeah impressed that you could think something so lame could be cool,” Lawrence shot back, tripping Darrin as he walked backwards. Darrin stumbled and flipped Lawrence off, but there was still a cocky grin on his face. 

“Are we checking out Winnie’s shop next?” Bea interrupted the teasing. 

“Winnie’s shop? Lydia asked curiously. 

“Hell yeah we are! What kind of a spooky tour would it be if we didn’t check out Winnie’s shop? Hurry up, before it’s closed,” Darrin turned and raced on, grabbing Keith’s hand and dragging him along, making the taller teen laugh as they stumbled along the sidewalk. 

Their destination turned out to be a small, old looking shop tucked between other nondescript buildings. A worn out sign was hung over the paint peeling door, somewhat illegible in some spots. _Winne’s Museum of Oddities_ read out in the dark gold colors. “Winne?” Lydia read out, raising an eyebrow 

“Her grandmother. Winnie is the one that runs the place now,” Keith filled her in, moving to open the door for Darrin. 

Wind chimes sounded off as the glass door creaked open, and the kids trickled through. Lydia was about to follow when she noticed Lawrence eyeing the shop strangely. “Beej?” She prompted. 

Lawrence blinked and looked back to her cooly, as if nothing had happened. “This place looks crusty,” he said. 

Lydia shot him a strange look. “Is that all?” 

“Yep. Let’s see if it’s as crusty inside!” Lawrence hopped forward, pushing Lydia into the shop. 

The smell of dust hit them immediately, mixed with the strong scent of something floral that would make Delia proud. Shelves were stacked precariously with knick knacks and unknown containers, forming long, winding aisles that didn’t really make much sense from a sales perspective. The blinds were drawn on the windows looking out to the street view before the store, and the only light came from dozens of dimly lit lamps that looked older than anything that Lydia had seen in her grandparents home. 

“Wow, this is crustier than some of the crypts I hung out in,” Lawrence discreetly said out of the corner of his mouth as the two stepped forward. 

They spotted everyone else moving through the store, flashing through the shelves like spectres, until Skye bounded up to Lydia with glimmering eyes. “You gotta come see where they keep all the cursed stuff, it’s so creepy!” Skye grinned as she grasped Lydia’s wrist and dragged her off to somewhere. 

Lawrence was about to follow when something caught his attention from his peripheral. He turned his head and saw a staircase hidden in the back of the shop, and _something_ stood upon it, watching the store from the shadows. Curious, Lawrence moved to investigate. 

Skye dragged Lydia to the back of the shop where Cast and Keith were examining old trinkets. The air was feverish, somehow stuffy and yet there was a lingering sort of chill that made Lydia want to wrap her jacket tighter around herself. Dusty, old dolls stared at the four from the shelves, black and white photography of strangers were delicately propped between animal bones and jars containing mysterious substances. 

“Miss Winnie swears that this part of the shop is the most haunted. You can hear strange voices here all the time,” Skye whispered, staring at the products wide eyed. 

“Doesn’t help there’s a deer head staring at you, and judging your purchases,” Cast pointed up to the taxidermied cervidae that seemed to be staring down at them. 

“Are those googly eyes glued to its antlers?” Lydia asked. 

“Oh yes, Geoffrey keeps an eye here while Winnie is away in her own headspace. Welcome back, children. Seems you’ve brought strangers along,” an old croaking voice spoke out behind the group. An old woman with cropped silver tinted blond hair had appeared behind the four, carrying a stack of files in one hand and a cigarette in the other. Two long strings of white pearls hung around her neck with a matching pair of earrings glinted from her ear lobes. She wore a neat brown business suit and pencil skirt, looking out of place in this messy shop with how well put together she was. 

“Miss Sidney!” Cast and Keith jumped, while Skye hid behind Lydia. 

The woman, Miss Sidney, let out a laugh that sounded close to coughing. “Sorry kids, I couldn’t resist. People get so tense in this shop sometimes.” 

“I-it’s ok, Miss Sidney. Er, this is Lydia Deetz, we’ve been showing her and her brother around the town,” Keith introduced Lydia to the woman. 

Miss Sidney stuck the cigarette into her mouth and offered her hand to Lydia. “The name’s Sylvie June Sidney. Most folks call me Miss Sidney,” she said with a heavily tarred voice. Lydia gave a quick nicitie while she shook the older woman’s hand. 

“So what’re you doing here, Miss Sidney?” Cast asked. 

“Winnie has some legal documents we need to sort out today. The work of a lawyer is never finished,” Miss Sidney replied easily, gesturing with the handful of documents she had. 

“Sylvie? Is that you?” A loud voice called out from the side of the store. 

“Sounds like Winnie heard us,” Keith said as he and Cast exchanged an amused look. 

“For Christ’s sake, Winnie, you have customers all over the place here, and you only choose to come out of the clouds now when I arrive? How selective can your deafness get?” Miss Sidney yelled back, moving towards the direction of the voice. 

“C’mon, you’ll wanna meet Winnie,” Cast said. 

“I don’t think she does,” Skye eyed the direction Miss Sidney walked away to, distrust obvious in the young girl’s eyes. 

“Wait, why are you suddenly so afraid Skye?” Lydia asked, raising an eyebrow. 

“It’s Winnie! She’s nice, sure, but she _always_ pinched my cheeks! And she always has fake nails on!” Skye explained, placing protective hands over her cheeks. The three teens proceeded to struggle to hide their laughs at the amusing image Skye was acting out. “It’s not funny, I swear she’s going to pinch my cheek muscles into a permanent look!” Skye scowled at them. 

“Come on, Skye, you just have to stay away from the counter. Lydia hasn’t ever met Winnie before,” Cast rolled her eyes good naturedly, and led a reluctant Skye and bemused Lydia and Keith after Miss Sidney. 

“Oh! I didn’t hear you lot roaming around. Yes, yes, welcome, welcome! Welcome to Winne’s Museum of Oddities!” An older woman stood behind what Lydia realized was the checkout counter, though it was hard to differ it from the rest of the store shelves from the amount of books and trinkets layered around the countertop. An old white computer from before the 2000’s was almost buried in all the papers, and that must’ve been what had the old woman’s attention earlier, as it was still open to a spreadsheet. The older woman had her silver hair tied tightly back in a ponytail, and a pair of glasses resting on the top of her head. “I don’t believe I’ve seen you before, have I?” The old woman, Winnie, asked Lydia. 

“No, my family and I moved here around last October, so this is my first time here,” Lydia replied politely. 

“Oh how lovely! Danbury could always use new blood!” Winnie beamed, “And how lovely of you kids to show her around! More folks could spare to act more social like that.” 

“Thank you, ma’am,” Keith and Cast gave Winnie big smiles, while Skye peered between Lydia and Keith nervously at the old woman. 

“Now then, Sylvie I’m glad you’re here. I’ve just gotten a new collection of crystal decanters made in 1978, and I just know they aren’t going to sell for a decade at least. They’re too recent, a collector would laugh at me for trying to sell them at this current time. I need to add them into the will, make sure Wilbur doesn’t have any legal troubles when the time comes that they’re finally sellable,” Winnie turned to Sidney. 

“Honestly, you need to stop buying so much junk. You’ll be rewriting your will from the grave at this rate,” Miss Sidney sniffed, pulling a folder out as well as a pen. 

Winnie waved the concern away. “Hush you. Now you kids go on with your browsing, be sure to shout if you need something.” 

“More like call out a price, she won’t hear it elsewise,” Miss Sidney snorted as she followed the older woman to a back room. 

Hidden away from sight, Lawrence watched as the four youths went off once more to look at more wares of the shop before he turned his head back to the staircase he was watching. It appeared empty, but if one were to focus on the shadows, they might see something shifting in the dark, something vaguely humanoid. A tense aura seemed to radiate from the staircase, a tension that seemed to be waiting on something. 

“Looks like you found the haunted staircase.” 

Lawrence glanced over to see that Bea and Darrin had somehow snuck up on him and were looking at him interestedly now. “Haunted staircase, huh?” He noted the creak that seemed to have sounded off in acknowledgement behind him. 

“Oh hell yeah. Of all the haunted places we’ve been to, even _Keith_ thinks there’s something haunting this shop,” Darrin nodded with a grin. 

“So is there a story to this haunting?” Lawrence asked. 

“Well that depends on which story you want to hear,” Bea and Darrin exchanged a look. 

Lawerance raised an eyebrow, queuing Darrin to explain. “There’s this really nasty rumor about the first owner of the shop, Winne, she was Winnie’s grandmother, remember? Way back when in like the 1960’s, this shop used to be a little textile plant I think? Anyways, there was a fire, and Winne bought the lot from the owners and started up her shop. People all thought she had started the fire because they couldn’t believe a woman could be able to buy some sort of shop,” Darrin rolled his eyes at the absurdity of old beliefs, “But the _real_ rumors started when her husband disappeared. No one knows what happened to him, but the whole town thought Winne had him killed. They thought she had mafia connections. In Danbury.” 

Lawrence snorted at the absurd idea while Bea smirked before saying, “Right because the mafia would help random middle aged women.” 

“People are wild conspiracy theorists, but they aren’t very logical. But yeah, after her husband disappeared, people thought Winne’s shop was haunted by the people who died in the fire and her husband,” Darrin finished. 

“And is it?” Lawerance asked with a sardonic tone. 

“Well there’s the problem that no one actually died in the fire that took out the textile plant, and the fact that Winne’s husband was a known adulterer with a mistress in Iowa,” Darrin explained. 

Lawrence tilted his head back and let out a laugh. 

“Yeah, it’s a bullshit story,” Bea agreed. 

“So here’s the actual story that I think is what made this shop haunted. Before the whole textile plant thing, this used to be a house. The owner was a recluse, always kept to themselves. During the spree killings of this freak Jacob Taborsky, he broke into the house and killed the owner, at least that’s what they suspected happened. But because of how isolated this person was in life, their body wasn’t found for weeks. After their death, the house was turned into the textile plant, which had reported strange happenings that people liked to forget to mention when they talked about how Winne’s shop was haunted,” Darrin explained. 

A chill took over the air, and Lawrence side eyed the staircase again. “Rough story,” he said. 

“Yeah, it’s a sad one. Not as titillating as an old lady being badass, sure, but those stories were more for slander and I just don’t vibe with that,” Darrin shook his head. 

“Lots of strange things happen in the shop no matter what story you believe in. People hear voices when there’s no one else in here, the wares in the shop get moved around so much that Winnie has given up on keeping order of it all, hence the hoarder-esque aesthetic going on, there have been several sightings of someone standing on this staircase, and people have gotten scratched and shocked while standing on here. An actual ghost team came here to investigate the shop once, pissing Winnie off to no end. She hates all the paranormal stories, mostly because of the slander and rumors talking about her family. I think her nephew, Werner, managed to convince her to let the team investigate,” Bea turned to Darrin for confirmation. 

“Yeah, he did. The investigators got all kinds of weird recordings, footage, especially based around the staircase. It was some wild stuff, and even Keith admitted some of the stories were hard to explain,” Darrin beamed smugly, remembering the momentous occasion that he _still_ wouldn’t let go despite Keith’s begging. 

Lawrence looked back to the stairs, considering the two’s words. 

“Darrin! They still have the sex fish hat!” Cast called out from the other store. 

Darrin gasped. “Sex fish hat! I finally have the funds for it, oh my god my outfit is near completion!” Darrin raced off without another word. 

“Sex fish hat..?” Lawrence stared after confusedly. 

“Darrin has this strange sense of irony with his outfits…” Bea shook her head. “Honestly the irony has been lost for a while. Now I think I’ve spent enough time around the haunted stairs, so you keep enjoying yourself.” She headed off, leaving Lawrence alone at the staircase once more. 

Well, not exactly alone. 

Lawrence turned once more to the stairs, leaning his weight against the rails, raising an eyebrow and smirking. “So, which version of the story is true? You don’t look like a burn victim, so I’m guessing it was the homicide?” 

The shadows shifted again, and a hiss echoed from them. “You would do well to keep out of business not your own…” 

Lawrence shrugged. “I’m a nosy bitch. So which is it?” He batted his eyelashes innocently. 

Slowly a hand emerged from the shadows, soon followed by a gaunt figure decked in blood soaked clothes limply hanging off their pale, bloodless body. The ghost narrowed their eyes at Lawrence. “You’re not human…” they breathed. “Who are you?” They flashed forward, jutting their face into Lawrence’s, eyeing him with cold eyes. 

“My friends call me BJ,” Lawrence answered, hardly batting an eye at the sudden ghost in his face. The ghost leaned back, still eyeing Lawrence thoroughly. 

“You know usually now would be the time you’d offer your name, especially since you’re so thoroughly mentally undressing me right now,” Lawrence noted snidely. 

The ghost stiffened, before recollecting themselves with a sniff. “I don’t see how it matters. I am but a shadow here, in my own home no less. Haunted day in and out by strangers perusing useless trinkets that distract their pitiable lives for a moment from the despondent truth of mortality-“ 

“Is this how you usually introduce yourself ‘cause I’m starting to see why you’re all alone here,” Lawrence cut in, yawning in boredom. 

The ghost blustered, giving an indignant huff. “Fine! You may address me as Maureen. Though I find it hard to address your crass little nickname,” Maureen wiggled their hand disdainfully. 

“What’s with all the airs you’re putting on? You were, what, killed in the ‘60’s? Why’re you acting like some sort of southern belle from the 1800’s?” Lawrence asked, scratching his cheek. 

Maureen scowled at the demon, and turned their head away while crossing their arms over their bloody chest. “I don’t need to explain myself to anyone.” 

Lawrence shrugged. “Suit yourself, I’m just trying to make conversation. You seem lonely after all,”

Lawrence ran a finger over the stair banister, picking up a small layer of dust. 

Maureen tutted in disgust. “That woman needs to just give in and hire that extra help already. I’m breaking my back keeping order in here,” they glared at the small trail Lawrence left behind. 

“This is order?” Lawrence asked, looking to the cluttered chaos behind him. 

“It gives off charm. Before I stepped in, this place was so sterile, it was like a soldier ran this place. Now it’s homey, rather than some kind of _store_ ,” Maureen preened. 

“Hate to break it to you, but this _is_ a store.”

“Well just because it is doesn’t mean it has to _feel_ like one. Winnie doesn’t have to live here 24/7, but _I_ do, and I’d rather feel like I’m at home rather than a shop where people rifle around with their grubby hands.” 

Lawrence couldn’t stop his grin from splitting open at how defensive Maureen was getting. It was more fun than the Maitlands, and he’d been itching to pester someone new for a while. 

Unbeknownst to the two, Lydia and Skye watched as the two paranormal beings bickered amusedly. “He always manages to find ghosts,” Skye snickered. 

“Well I guess they’re right when they say you draw your own kind, so I’m not too surprised,” Lydia replied. 

“This has been so cool! I haven’t seen half as many ghosts before when we went out to go look at the spooky places,” Skye squealed to Lydia. 

“I guess Darrin has some credence about the spooky part of this tour,” Lydia agreed, turning to continue looking through the old paintings lined up on the shelf next to them. 

“Lydia, check it out!” Bea walked up to the two, holding something black and bulky delicately in her hands. 

Lydia looked it over and felt herself gasp. “Is that a _camera_?” She ran a finger over the glossy finish that made the contraption still look new. 

A wooden black box with golden lenses and buttons, it was still beautifully maintained in Lydia’s opinion. 

“It’s been tinkered with, so it actually prints polaroids, try it,” Bea offered the camera to Lydia. 

Lydia carefully worked out it’s functions before turning and focusing on the two conversing spirits out of sight. She snapped a quick photo before ducking back to Bea and Skye and the three watched as a photo was slowly wheeled out of the slit cut into the camera’s front. 

Lydia caught it before it could fall and carefully aired the Polaroid while Bea showed Skye some of the fascinating mechanics added to the old camera over the years. 

Slowly the picture faded into view, showing a reversed image of the thrift shop, Lawrence standing at the stairs, and, to Lydia’s astonishment, the other person Lawrence was talking to. She stared at it for a long moment, shocked at just how _clear_ the ghost showed up on film. 

“How’d it turn out?” Lydia heard Bea asked, and she quickly pressed the photo to her chest. 

“It’s not my best work. It’s a pretty cool camera though, does it have a price tag?” Lydia asked, looking over the black box curiously. 

“That hunk of junk? You can have it. It’s been here for years and I’ve not gotten a single buyer for it. At this point it’s just taking up space,” Winnie said, emerging to the counter again. 

“Seriously? I can just have it?” Lydia’s eyes widened and she slowly began to grin. 

“Consider it a welcome to Danbury gift. Now, Darrin let me see that please,” Winnie rolled her eyes at the green baseball cap Darrin handed her. 

“Why, Winnie, I’d say you’re starting to get soft in your age,” Miss Sidney appeared in the doorway to the back room with a smirk. 

“Hush you or I find a new lawyer. That adds up to ten fifteen, please.” Winnie took the crumbled twenty Darrin handed her, quickly doing the math in her head before opening the cash register and pulling out the change. “Now you lot better hurry up, I’m closing the shop in five.” 

Darrin slipped the hat on over his beanie before turning to the other three girls with a wide grin. “Women want me, fish want me,” Bea read off the stitching on the hat. 

“What does that mean?” Skye asked confusedly. 

“Oh dear god, please tell me you didn’t let him buy that hat,” Keith and Cast emerged from the thrift shop depths and joined the others at the counter where Darrin proudly showed off his new purchase. 

“I should’ve worn my hoodie, I’d be perfect right now,” Darrin readjusted his hat. 

“You are not allowed to wear that around Skye. You are barely allowed to wear it in public as is,” Cast replied dryly, yanking the hat down to cover Darrin’s eyes. 

“Why does he own that hoodie?” Lydia asked, remembering the trashy clothing Darrin had worn when they first met. 

“It’s irony at its finest! A boy wearing a jacket of things he’d never want that society expects him to want, throwing back societies forced expectations straight in their faces,” Darrin replied while jerking the hat back into place. 

“He got it because he thinks it’s hilarious. It’s not, but Darrin’s sense of humor has deteriorated so rapidly I fear to look at his search history,” Bea explained, placing a hand on Skye’s head. 

“I still don’t get it,” Skye now looked confounded by their talk. 

“It’s just Darrin being a weirdo like always,” Keith explained to her. Skye nodded slowly, understanding replacing her confusion. Darrin gave a protesting yelp, and the conversation was about to continue, but then Winnie cleared her throat. 

“As entertaining as you children always are, I need you to head out,” she said pointedly. 

“I’ll grab Beej,” Lydia turned back to get the demon. 

He was still talking with the ghost, and Lydia noted that the earlier tension the ghost held seemed to have eased away, despite the snarking they and Lawrence were giving each other. 

“Shop’s closing. Thanks for helping me find a camera,” Lydia handed the flabbergasted ghost the photo she took before grabbing Beej’s arm and dragging him off. 

“Later Maureen,” Lawrence called before they headed out the door. 

Maureen stared after them before shifting back to the photo. They felt their eyes start to burn as they gazed at their form. “I forgot I was a brunette,” they whispered, tracing a finger over the photo. 

Outside the shop, the group gathered around a buzzing phone. 

“The parentals are getting worried. Time for me and Skye to head home. This was pretty fun, actually. It was nice not to be on the end of the whole prank scare,” Cast said, giving a slight smile to Lawrence and Lydia. 

“Yeah, even being in a house threatening to collapse didn’t really put a damper on today,” Bea agreed. 

“Now you have to admit that I know some pretty freaky spots. It was a spooks filled Saturday and you had fun, come on Deetz! Admit it!” Darrin threw an arm around Lydia’s shoulder and shook them both back and forth, making Lydia snicker and shove him off. 

“I mean it was all old stuff. Oldness is kind of scary I guess,” Lawrence sniffed, stuffing his hands into his pockets. 

“Still... it was cool. Maybe you are forgiven,” Lydia smirked. 

“That’s all I’m looking for! This was pretty cool, usually people aren’t into the whole history thing. So thanks for letting me blabber,” Darrin shot them a wink, but his sincerity shone through. 

“Yeah, thanks for indulging us. Today was pretty cool. We should hang out again,” Keith placed an arm around Darrin who happily cuddled up to the taller boy. 

“Maybe.” Lydia and Lawrence exchanged mischievous smiles. Her answer was obvious. 

“See you later guys. Get home safe,” Cast and Skye waved goodbye before heading off towards the bus stop. Darrin dragged Keith off, calling out their own farewell as they went, leaving Bea alone with Lydia and Lawrence. 

Bea turned to Lydia and gave her a small smile. “I’m glad you had fun. Everyone can be a bit much at times, but they can be really cool.” 

“I can see why you’re friends with them. It’s been actually pretty cool today,” Lydia agreed. 

Bea’s smile grew and Lydia felt her breath catch in her throat. “Just don’t expect a free pass though. You’re gonna have to earn being allowed in the haunted house still,” Lawrence cut in, resting an arm on Lydia’s head. 

Bea chuckled. “Of course. It was cool hanging out with you too, Lawrence. You’re alright for a lame old guy. Later,” Bea headed off with a wave. 

Lydia stared after her for a moment, before looking back down to the camera. “I’m screwed,” she sighed. 

“Oh big time. That was painful,” Lawrence agreed. 

Before Lydia could elbow him, a droplet or water fell onto her nose. The sky rumbled ominously. “Oh crap,” Lawrence and Lydia stared up at the sky in concern. 

“We probably should’ve brought an umbrella,” Lydia checked her phone to see how long it would take to get home and foresaw they were going to have a very wet run home. 

Lawrence was quiet for a moment, then unzipped his hoodie. “Welp, we can at least try and keep dry,” he said. 

Lydia eyed him for a moment before moving under the shelter his jacket made. The rain began to sprinkle down harder. “We’ll start running on three. One, two, three!” 

The two took off as the rain came down even harder, the two screaming and cackling as the thunder and lightning crashed through the sky. They barely noticed the water sloshing up their feet, or the green bits of hair poking further out of Lawrence’s hat as they ran through the wet streets.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I realized what my problem writing these chapters was. Writing with over seven different characters in the scene. Why did I do this to myself?!? I struggled so much, oh my goooood...  
> It’s over now, though, and I learned my lesson, never write so many goddamn characters jebus.  
> Anyways, yes, movie Juno made an appearance here because I appreciate movie Juno, she’s a goddamn gem and doesn’t deserve to be slandered by musical Juno.  
> Also! Taborsky is based on a real killer! He was a piece of shit who ran around robbing and killing people in Connecticut in the 60’s.  
> Now I need to go write some more, hhhhhhhhh  
> You can find me on tumblr at  
> [@daydreaming-jessi](https://daydreaming-jessi.tumblr.com/)


	28. Deals in the Dark

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A photograph causes problems....

The storm raged ever on. The rain battered the windows, the wind howled through the streets, and the occasional flash of lightning illuminated the shop and stretched strange shadows out on the wall. Maureen sat watching the rainstorm placidly from the second floor of the shop, her terrain, running her fingers over the photograph that breather girl had given her. The lightning flashed once more, illuminating Maureen’s handbook for the recently deceased. It was currently open to the page instructing how to draw a door to the Netherworld, how she was to go through it to be registered as deceased. 

Only, it didn’t warn her how only people who died ‘naturally’ were allowed to move on after that. It didn’t warn her how victims of early death like accidents, suicide or even  _ murder  _ were trapped to wander the void until the rest of their energy drips away and she could finally pass on to who knows where. It didn’t warn her how one would be doomed to eternal damnation of working through the slog of bureaucracy because she dared die before she was deemed ‘ready’. 

Maureen could vividly remember her first visit to the Netherworld. Gruesomely mutilated people like herself walked through the never ending black halls past her, following some sort of order Maureen couldn’t understand. She remembered the callous nature of her caseworker as they went through Maureen’s gruesome last moments, the hopelessness she was sinking into as she realized she would never return to her home… 

Maureen sniffed the sudden onslaught of tears away, before they could fall and ruin the photograph. She hadn’t had a picture of herself for so long, she couldn’t let it get ruined. 

“Hello Maureen,” a voice purred from the darkness. 

Maureen gasped, clutching the photograph to her red stained chest. She stood whirling around and came face to face with a pinstriped suit wearing body clutching a head under their arms. The body lifted the head up and placed it on their neck, adjusting it like a hat. The head grinned, unnaturally wide. “How long has it been in breather time? Five, six months?” The person stepped forward and began to circle Maureen. Like a predator circling its prey. 

Maureen gulped, trembling oh so slightly. “About a year,” she said quietly. 

“Mm, yes. Yes, that sounds about right. I do apologize for arriving so late, things just get so hectic in the Netherworld,” the person hummed, sitting down in Maureen’s chair and resting their foot on the table, inches from Maureen’s handbook. 

The ghost quickly snatched it up. “What do you want, Hamstein?” She was proud of how little her voice shook. 

Hamstein cocked their head, and lightning flashed, illuminating their eyes. “Can’t a fellow come say hi to his favorite gal?” He asked. 

“It’s never been about just coming to say ‘hi’ before,” Maureen glared at the creature. 

Hamstein leaned his head back. Somewhere he produced a drink. He took a slow drag of it, and liquor began to drip through the seam running around his neck, hissing as it touched his skin. “I suppose you’re not wrong. I don’t really  _ do _ social visits much anymore. Did I tell you? I got promoted!” He bore Maureen a wolfish grin. She gulped. 

“Then… then who will be my caseworker?” She asked. 

Hamstein’s grin widened. “Aw, Maureen! I’d say you cared about me the way you’re talking!” He jeered. Maureen didn’t respond, she only fixed him with a hard look, keeping her body tremors to a minimum. Hamstein sighed. She just wasn’t as fun to scare anymore. “You’ll be assigned a new caseworker. I just need to wrap up the last business of our business and I’ll be off as Head of Guides and Assignments.” 

“And what business do  _ we _ have exactly?” Maureen asked, ready for be done with this conversation. 

“Why, our little green card deal of course!” 

Maureen paled. 

“Maureen, you didn’t forget about our deal did you? You get to stay here without having to apply for the green card, so long as you manage to chase out any creeps who come wandering in here. Now last I checked,” Hamstein looked around the second floor, recently cleaned and stocked with new boxes of wares. “You hadn’t done that!” He clapped his hands together and gave Maureen a bone chilling smile. 

“I’ve tried! I’ve done all I could but hardly anyone has given a damn about saving their own hides from a ghost! They just want to make a profit!” Maureen whined, recalling her failed attempts at chasing that useless ghost investigation team out. 

“Maureen, it’s one old hag. I don’t believe it would be too hard to just… scare her enough that she just drops dead,” Hamstein prowled close to the staircase, looking down the steps half interestedly. Winnie and Miss Sidney’s voices floated up, discussing legal jargon and tea flavors. 

“No! Don’t hurt her!” Maureen cried before she could think. She froze, and suddenly Hamstein was next to her, ice starting to creep up the walls around them. 

“Did you just tell me what I can’t do?” Hamstein’s voice was calm, but Maureen could see the devastating rage billowing in his eyes. She frantically shook her head, squeaks escaping her throat. “Maureen, Maureen, Maureen,” Hamstein breathed into her ear. “What did I tell you about getting cozy with breathers? That bullshit about life being precious doesn’t matter anymore, we’re all going to be wormfood in the end. What  _ does  _ matter is if we’re comfortable or not, yes?” 

Hamstring stepped away from the trembling ghost, and her grip loosened enough that the hand book and photograph tumbled to the floor. Hamstein turned to eye the items, when his eyes widened. 

Maureen scrambled to pick the photograph up, when Hamstein’s iron grip clapped around her wrist. “What is this?” Hamstein’s voice was dangerously low. 

“You’re hurting me,” Maureen whimpered. 

Hamstein let her go and instead picked the photograph up. Maureen watched him, trembling with fear. 

Hamstein flipped the photo around and fixed Maureen with an icy gaze. “How do you know that young man?” He asked. 

Maureen confusedly looked at the photo. “H-him? Why do you care?” 

Hamstein stepped forward, throwing an arm around Maureen’s shoulders. “Maureen, what did I tell you about asking too many questions? Listen. I know you don’t really want to scare that old lady off, you’re too attached to life, still feel like you’re lonely and such. So, how about we make ourselves a new deal? You tell me everything, and I mean  _ everything  _ involving this young man in this photo you’re in, and I’ll give you this?” Hamstein clicked his fingers and a small green card appeared between them. 

Maureen’s gaze fixated on the card that would guarantee her freedom to the breatherworld, desperation clawing at her thoughts. “You… you won’t hurt him, will you? He doesn’t seem mean,” she asked. 

“Cross my heart, darling. I’d never hurt a fly,” Hamstein replied, hiding his crossed fingers behind his back. 

Maureen studied the card and sighed. Hamstein felt his grin widen. 

“He and some kids came into the shop earlier today…” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As I said, we are now entering the endgame of this fic :)  
> You can yell at me on tumblr at [@daydreaming-jessi](https://daydreaming-jessi.tumblr.com/)


	29. Your Past has Come Knocking, Shall We Help?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lydia takes some photos, Beej realizes some things, and Delia’s past comes back to cause her trouble.

Lydia carefully readjusted the new camera once more, careful to keep the tripod from falling over. 

It’d been a few days since the spooky tour, and she’d been spending most of her time after school pulling out a million tripods to try and fit the camera on, until she had to jerryrig one with a grumbling Lawrence and some duct tape. Now that the camera was ready, the time had come to put her plan into action. 

Footsteps creaked down the stairs in front of her, and Lydia knew it was the Maitlands. Charles and Delia were in the living room and Lawrence was stretched out on the floor with Sandy behind Lydia. She looked up from the camera and saw the ghost couple chatting happily as they traversed down the stairs, and she quickly took her opportunity. 

“Barbara, Adam, say cheese.” 

The two looked down to Lydia in surprise and the camera shutter clicked loudly as the photo was taken. “Oh, we didn’t have time to pose!” Barbara pouted, she and Adam giving Lydia fake hurt looks. 

Lydia grabbed the photo, and looked through the camera with a chuckle. “Beej, get over there with them.” 

“Why me?” Lawrence grouched, shooting Lydia a glare. Lydia simply grinned back at him, and the tips of Lawrence’s hair pinkened. “Ugh,” he flipped her off but stood up to join the now posing ghosts on the stairs, Sandy curling up his leg and coiling around his shoulders to join the photo. 

The Maitlands gave Lawrence a begging look, making his hair pinken further, but he let them pull him into their pose of hanging off the railing and giving the camera face splitting grins. 

Lydia took the shot, feeling her anticipation to show the ghost couple the photos grow. “Wanna see?” Lydia asked, holding the two photos up. Barbara and Adam paused at that.

“Don’t you usually need to print your photos?” Adam asked, the three finally coming down the stairs. 

“This is a new camera, it prints the pictures already. Come look,” Lydia waved them closer. 

“Oh Lydia, I appreciate the excitement, but we’re not going to show… up… on it…” 

Barbara and Adam stared slack jawed at their photos, where they were seen as clear as day. Lawrence and Lydia exchanged pleased looks as the couples’ silence extended. 

“How… is that possible..?” Adam asked, reaching a hand out halfway to the photo, afraid to touch it and break the spell. 

“This was in that haunted thrift shop we told you guys about. It took a photo of the ghost haunting that place, so I knew it’d catch you guys too,” Lydia explained, her grin shrinking to a smaller embarrassed smile. 

“I forgot what we looked like,” Barbara said with a wet giggle. 

“Yeah it happens,” Lawrence agreed, looking over their shoulders to the photos. His eyes focused in on the one he’d been bullied to join, and couldn’t help but note how out of place he was in it. 

An otherworldly black and white creature curled around his shoulders, glimmering inhuman eyes peering from sunken in dark lined eye sockets, neon green hair, teeth as sharp as a carnivore’s, skin as pale as a corpse mottled with scars that probably should’ve killed him… A monster stood next to a completely normal looking couple, failing to play pretend at being normal itself. Lawrence felt his stomach cave in. ‘ _Oh. I really am a freak here._ ’ How had he not noticed that before? 

“You guys can keep it. It’s for you after all,” Lydia handed Barbara and Adam the photos. 

Lawrence expected them to reject the picture he was in. Why would they want a reminder of how fucked up their lives had gotten? Breathers hated that kind of thing. 

Barbara reverently took the photos, looking down on them with a huge smile and teary eyes. Adam stared at the photos over her shoulders with an equally dopey look. They exchanged a grin and Adam squeezed Barbara’s shoulders, reassuring her that this wasn’t a dream. 

“Thank you, Lydia,” Barbara pulled Lydia into a hug with her and Adam. 

Lawrence was about to sidle away awkwardly, but then Adam tugged on his sleeve and Lawrence couldn’t say no to those green puppy dog eyes, and so he was pulled into the group hug. He wondered if they noticed how prickly he was, how inhumanly prickly…. 

“You’re welcome. Now we can have actual pictures of you guys around. It’ll be great,” Lydia hugged them back tightly. She quickly pulled away after, though, done with all the affection. 

“We have to frame these, I don’t want them to get ruined. Maybe we can hang them up somewhere, let’s see,” Barbara wandered off with a critical eye on the wall. 

“We should have frames somewhere in the attic, the photos should fit in them,” Adam said. 

“I’ll help you look for them,” Lydia offered. 

“Oh thank you, Lydia,” Adam smiled in delight, and started to lead the teen up the stairs, before pausing and looking back to Lawrence. “Would you like to help Lawrence?” Adam asked. 

Lawrence was jolted from his thoughts and looked up to them in slight surprise, but he waved them off. “I’m good.” 

“Grab us if you need something,” Adam ordered and the two went on, Lydia shooting curious looks over her shoulder to Lawrence until they were out of sight. 

Lawrence waited until their footsteps faded away and leaned against the wall letting out a breath. “Fuck,” he hissed, feeling his chest ache. What was he doing? Playing pretend like this? How long has this gone on? Him pretending to be a part of all this? When did he get so comfortable? “I’m a fucking idiot,” he squeezed the heels of his hands into his eyes until light began to dance across his vision. 

Sandy hissed, and left his shoulders, and chittered loudly at him. Lawrence looked up and saw she was on the stairs expectantly, shooting him an exasperated look. “Go and ruin their good mood? I’m a jackass, but I’m not gonna go rain on their parades just because I’m too clingy for my own good,” he replied. 

Sandy shot him a flat look and proceeded to slither up the stairs. Lawrence realized she may be heading to go grab one of the others herself and raced after her. “No, bad Sandworm! Get back here!” 

Strangely, he didn’t see her at the attic stairs. Instead he saw her tail disappear down the hall and he found her before the door to Charles’ office. She looked at him pointedly. Lawrence let out a breath. “Ok, right. Never question you, got that.” He reached a hand down for Sandy to slither up and opened the office door. 

Inside he was surprised to find Charles at the desk, with his laptop open and strangers’ voices pouring out. Lawrence froze, but Charles looked up and nodded for the demon to continue in. 

Lawrence quietly shut the door behind him and flopped into the chair before the window, already feeling a bit of the tension squeezing his chest eke away. 

“Clients just aren’t showing up anymore. We need to get realistic here, people aren’t interested in the backwater neighborhoods of Winter River County. We should just move the office,” one of the laptop voices said, sounding frustrated. 

“And commute through traffic for three hours? Business is slow, it always gets slow around October, that’s no reason to just up and leave,” another laptop voice retorted. 

“I have to agree with DeLaney here. We don’t have the budget to buy an office in the city anyways,” a third voice threw in. 

“We can’t keep having lulls like this, though! First it gets slow in March, then it also gets slow in July, then add August, September and now October too!” The first voice was sounding like they were ready to tear their hair out. 

Lawrence raised an eyebrow. He still didn’t really get what Charles did as a job. Something about selling houses, though last time Lawrence checked people sold property to build houses _on_. Then again, what did Breathers do when there was no more property to build on anymore? 

“I just don’t see how this is a conversation. We’re doing fine, no one is even worried about lay-offs,” the voice belonging to DeLaney spoke once more. 

“Well I’d like to not lose my summer home, thank you, and that will happen if we don’t pick up the pace!” The first voice was shrill, and Lawrence was starting to picture them as some of the more annoying newly deads he’d met in life. Charles was starting to look tired himself, and Lawrence wondered how long this argument had gone on for. 

“Right, well, I think this meeting has achieved a lot. Good work all. See you next week,” Charles finally cut in before more arguing could occur. He tapped the mouse pad before he slapped his laptop closed and let out a heavy sigh, rubbing his face tiredly. “Some days,” he groaned. Sandy, who had slithered off of Lawrence and onto Charles’ desk during the conversation, chirruped and rested her head against his hand. Charles considered the sandworm for a moment before running a hand over her head. “I would’ve thought you and Lydia would be causing trouble now that she’s back from school,” Charles looked up to Lawrence with a raised eyebrow. 

Lawrence only shrugged. “She’s doing stuff.” 

Seeing that the demon was going to give no other explanation, Charles decided to start working on paperwork, which he always seemed to have somewhere while Sandy relaxed out of the way on the desk, catching up on her nap regime. Lawrence distracted himself by watching the trees outside the window, starting to edge on changing colors as the earth moved further away from the sun and cast an autumn chill in the air. Something fluttered in the corner of his vision though, and Lawrence snapped his head over and stared wide eyed as a brightly scarlet headed black and white feathered bird settled on the window frame. He stared at it for a long moment, and it’s black eyes stared right back at Lawrence. 

“Melanerpes erythrocephalus,” Charles broke Lawrence’s reverence, making the demon look away from the bird to Charles confusedly. 

“What?” He recognized that what Charles said was Latin, but he didn’t quite get what Charles was trying to say. 

“Ah, that’s the scientific name. This fine specimen is a red-headed woodpecker. He’s been showing up for a while now, his kind is rare in Connecticut these days,” Charles stood and joined Lawrence at the window to get a better look at the bird interestedly watching them now. 

“How do you know so much about birds?” Lawrence asked. 

Charles embarrassedly scratched the back of his head. “I’ve had an interest in them for a while. I always enjoyed watching with my grandfather in my youth.” 

Lawrence grinned at the rare sight of an embarrassed Charles. “You’re a bird nerd?” 

Charles shot Lawrence a flat look. “I suppose I am...” 

Lawrence turned back to the bird with an impish grin, and watched as the woodpecker hopped along the windowsill casually, pecking at invisible bugs. “That’s cool. I always thought bugs were cool myself,” he eventually admitted. Lawerance was too distracted by the bird to notice how Charles shot him an amused look, tinged with fondness from the sentiment Lawrence showed. 

Feeling Lawrence’s gaze upon it once more, the bird looked back up to him and cocked its head. That was when Sandy made her appearance. She appeared on their side of the windowsill, and the bird hopped panickedly away from the sandworm. Sandy eyed the bird hungrily, and Lawerance couldn’t blame her. If he wasn’t being fed here, he probably would be stalking after that bird himself. 

“I thought Sandworms only ate ghosts,” Charles noted as Sandy leaned after the bird, acting more like a bored house cat watching prey rather than a snake/worm. 

“Well Sandy is weird. She ate a demon after all. She gets hungry for anything, I guess,” Lawerance replied, growing more amused as the bird hopped in the opposite direction away from Sandy once more. She followed after it just as quickly, making the bird flutter away this time. She was right after, though, and a small chase of sorts started, where the bird raced from one end of the windowsill to the other, seeming to lead Sandy on a dizzying chase that eventually led to the sandworm swaying back and forth before almost falling off the ledge. Lawerance cackled, making Sandy cast him a glare before slithering off to the desk once more. 

Charles smiled slightly, before looking over to Lawerance, and a strange expression flickered over his face. “Is… everything alright, Lawrence?” 

Wait, what? That wasn’t how this worked. Lawerance leaned away. “What?” 

Charles struggled with his words for a moment, then awkwardly gestured above his head. “Your hair… it turns purple when you’re… upset?” Charles seemed unsure. 

Lawrence quickly yanked a strand of hair down and glared at the purple lock for betraying him. “It’s nothing,” he said, running a hand through his hair, thinking desperately of something to steer the conversation his way. 

Charles leaned against the desk, crossing his arms. “If distraction isn’t working, then maybe talking about your problems will solve it?” He suggested. 

Lawerance stared wide eyed at Charles, wondering when the man figured him out so easily. 

Charles coughed awkwardly. “If you’d like, that is. I won’t force you or anything. Just… thought I’d suggest it.” 

Before Lawrence could further deal with the mortifying ordeal of being known, the doorbell went off, and there was a sudden pounding of footsteps down the hall. “Beej, there’s a stranger at the door! Let’s scare them before Stepmom answers it!” Lydia’s voice called out. 

“I’m in!” Lawerance jumped for the opportunity to escape and teleported after Lydia, forcing his thoughts away once more. 

“Don’t cause a heart attack,” Charles halfheartedly tried to parent them, but he knew it was futile when it came to situations that involved possible scares. He could only hope that Lawrence would figure out what he needed, whatever that was. 

Lawerance appeared at the top of the stairs Lydia was already halfway down when Delia was suddenly at the front door, brushing a sweaty lock of hair off her forehead, having been coming in the back door from gardening. Lydia wavered, she and Lawrence groaning in disappointment. Delia shot them both an amused look, before opening the door. 

“Delia Schwimmer!” 

Delia recoiled in horror at the sight she saw upon opening the door before freezing in what Lydia and Lawrence could only describe as a constipated grimace. “A-Ah, Ms. Kellermann, h-how lovely,” Delia stammered, her entire form tense now. 

Lawrence looked down to Lydia for an explanation, and was met with a look of utter disgust on Lydia’s face, her nose crinkled worse than a bulldogs as she slowly began to back up the stairs once more. Lawrence took the hint and began to back up as well, following her lead. 

“How lovely to see you, indeed! Is Lydia around? I know school should be out around now.” 

Lawrence saw someone lean in through the doorway and look around. He was tempted to just summon a bucket of leeches and let it dump over the brown inverted bob of the intruder, but the possibility of the impact hitting Delia as well stayed his hand, at least for the moment. 

“Oh yes, hello Lydia! Looking, er, dressed up as usual,” the intruder spotted Lydia, somehow leaning five feet over the threshold to spot the teen. 

Lydia froze and let out a long, quiet, drawn out sigh through her nose, before putting on a thin-lipped smile. It’s friendliness, if there were any at all, was thoroughly dashed by the thorough loathing radiating from her dark brown eyes. “Hello Ms. Kellermann,” Lydia had managed to keep her tone emotionless, and yet there was an ice to her voice that made even Lawrence want to book it out of there. 

The intruder, Ms. Kellermann as Delia and Lydia called her, looked further through the house, judging its every detail with her doll fake eyes, until she spotted Lawrence. Her plastic smile fell to a horrified gasp, and her eyes filled with repulsion like she had found a maggot filled corpse in the back of her “eco-friendly” minivan. Lawrence wondered how she’d react if she’d seen him before the showers and new clothes foisted on him. Probably would pass out, and Lawrence could draw dicks on her face before throwing her onto a random bus and letting the world take care of the rest. He should consider that next time someone randomly rang the doorbell. 

“Oh, someone _new_ ,” Ms. Kellermann tried to put back on her fake, pinched up smile, but failed miserably, instead her lips were half pulled back in a mix of a grin and a distrustful shudder. 

Delia turned and stared wide eyed at Lawrence and Lydia for a panicked moment, before clapping her hands loudly together. “Yes! That is Lawrence! Charles’ son! Lawrence, this is Ms. Kellermann, she and I... worked... together,” Delia gestured grandly to the older woman, falling into her old breathy, over pronouncing way of speaking that no one had heard for months. Delia gestured the two forward to her side, and there was no way to escape now. 

“I see. What is your business here exactly, Lawrence? Delia hadn’t mentioned _you_ before,” Ms. Kellermann asked. 

“I’m actually their lsd supplier,” Lawrence replied, letting a wide grin slide over his face, showing off his sharp teeth. 

Ms. Kellermann became part chameleon, changing from purple to red to white in a matter of seconds. Her smile was so painfully tight, Lawrence half expected her lips to rip off. 

Delia let out a snort that she quickly changed into a fake laugh. “Oh Lawrence loves to joke! Picked up a lot of material while he was away at college,” she said, placing a delicate hand on Lawrence’s shoulder. 

“College, huh? He looks a little old to be going to college these days, much less living _here_ ,” Ms. Kellermann’s smile grew into a sneer, a sneer that was _too_ familiar for Lawrence to deal with in his current state. 

“Well when you spend a few semesters hosting lamb blood soaked orgies you need to pick up a few side curriculums to raise up the good ol’ GPA,” Lawrence quickly shot back, his grin becoming ever sharper. 

Ms. Kellermann’s eyes bulged out of their sockets, and for a moment Lawrence was _sure_ she was going to faint, but it seemed it was no dice the longer she stayed standing. 

Lydia was cackling into her hands, while Delia was struggling to keep her own composure, and she discreetly elbowed Lawrence‘s bicep. “He’s been experimenting with classes. Our Lawrence is a free soul who just hasn’t found what makes him happy quite yet. However long it takes to figure his path out, we’ll support him,” Delia cut in, placing both hands on Lawrence’s shoulders and smiling widely. 

Lawrence knew Delia’s speech was all fake, but hearing her call him ‘ _our_ Lawrence’... He felt his heart begin to ache and he wasn’t quite sure why that was. 

Lydia suddenly developed a strange cough, and suddenly Lawrence had a small, gray felt blanket dropped onto his head. The last thing he saw was Barbara levitating above them with a panicked look on her face as she dropped said blanket onto him. He heard Ms. Kellermann let out a yelp of surprise at the sudden appearance of the blanket while Lydia benignly said something about Lawrence having a head cold and needing to keep his brain temperature stable. “Ah, a head cold yes. That would explain his voice,” Ms. Kellermann said. 

Lawrence bit his tongue to keep back the smart remark about how doing acid with actual battery acid was what made his voice so sexy. It wouldn’t be true, living with a chain smoking mother is what did that, but he’d love to see if he could make the intruder’s face turn into an actual rainbow. Pulling the blanket back until only his face showed and _not_ the color changing mood ring he called hair, Lawrence tuned back into the conversation, though kept an eye out for Barbara still hovering over them worriedly. 

“So how can we help you, Ms. Kellermann?” Delia asked, looking more and more like she just wanted to close the door on this woman. 

Ms. Kellermann clapped her hands together, pulling herself together once more. “Right! Well you see, I know we had that little falling out a while ago...” 

“That’s one way to put it,” Delia muttered. 

“But, I keep my promises! And as your agent,” Ms. Kellermann ignored Delia’s small splutter at calling herself Delia’s agent, “I came to inform you that Ricardo’s photos have attracted a possible job!” Ms. Kellermann beamed widely and looked at Delia expectantly. 

Delia however, stared back at Ms. Kellermann in aghast shock. “A… a-a job?” She asked quietly, the blood draining from her face. 

Ms. Kellermann went on, seeming to have not noticed how freaked out Delia was. “It’s very well paying, believe you me. They absolutely adore you, and trust me, this is going to break you right into the modeling scene!” 

“Modeling?” Lawrence blinked confusedly, unsure of where the hell this had all come from. 

“You okay, Stepmom?” Lydia asked Delia quietly, placing a hand on Delia’s slack arm. 

“Stepmom? Delia, _you’ve_ become a stepmother?” Ms. Kellermann stared wide eyed between Delia and Lydia in surprise. 

Delia suddenly straightened up, a slightly wild look in her eyes now. “How many people have you shown those photos to, Grace?” she demanded. 

Ms. Kellermann leaned back, slightly taken aback. “Only the one client. I’m not one to just go flashing the goods unless I know they’re good for something, after all.” 

“Ms. Kellermann, I am no longer in the modeling business. You _dropped_ me, remember? I told you to get rid of any copies of the photos you had of me when you dropped me. You said you did!” Delia’s eyes were fiery now, and Lydia and Lawrence were starting to get why. Both were shooting Ms. Kellermann fierce glares now, and the older woman could’ve sworn that a chill filled the air, despite the bright sun still shining down strong. 

“Delia, I know we had a little spat, but it’s all in the past! This client is paying big money, you won’t have to be stuck here in nowhere Connecticut anymore, having to play… whatever kind of life coach thing you’re doing,” Ms. Kellermann gestured vaguely in the direction of Lydia and Lawrence. 

“You had no ri-“ 

“These clients are waiting to meet Delia, right?” Lawrence asked. 

Everyone looked to Lawrence in surprise. He glanced up to Barbara, who seemed to have an idea of what he may be playing. She smiled and nodded. Lawrence looked back to the older woman and put on his best smile that earned many jobs before. Ms. Kellermann shifted further away from Lawrence. Then again, his previous jobs had been dead. “Well, how about dinner? This Saturday? You bring this Ricardo, these clients, and those photos, and maybe we can work out some sort of deal. How ‘bout it?” Lawrence held his hands out temptingly, grinning widely. 

Delia and Lydia stared at him in shock, but Ms. Kellermann had a more interested look in her eye now. “This Saturday you say?” She asked. 

Lawrence shot the other two a wink. Lydia still looked unsure, but Delia clasped her hands together. “Yes, we can… discuss contract possibilities. Here,” Delia swept her arms out to emphasize the house better. 

Ms. Kellermann’s eyes roamed the interior decor once more, and she grimaced. “Well, I’ve worked with worse. Alright, Delia. I’ll bring the clients Saturday. Now don’t screw this up like you usually do, alright? This is a big deal! I’ll get out of your hair now, ta ta!” Ms. Kellermann turned with a flutter of her fingers and she started down the path to her car. If she had gotten startled by a rather large snake on the way, then that was her problem. 

Delia slammed the door shut, and let out a deep shuddering breath. “First she shows up here months ago trying to get me to take more photos now this... Please tell me you have an actual plan and aren’t going by the seat of your pants,” Delia said, still braced against the door.   
  


“D, you know I do great with plans,” Lawrence smirked, his eyes glittering dangerously. 

“Don’t worry, we’ll get your photos back, and make sure that Ms. Kellermann will never show her face around here again,” Barbara floated down to the floor and placed a reassuring hand on Delia’s shoulder. The older woman sighed and turned to slump back against the door. 

“Lydia, never trust a shady business promising you a dream come true with a tip of the hat,” Delia said with a hand pressed against her forehead. 

Lydia nodded. “Duly noted. And yeah, we’ll make those fuckers pay,” Lydia had a fire in her eyes now that wouldn’t be extinguished. In fact, that fire was shared by Barbara and Lawrence as well. It was a little intimidating. 

Delia looked around her worriedly, and started to think this may not have been the best group of people to team up for a plan of revenge. She foresaw a dinner being spent making sure the residential ghosts and goth didn’t blow the house up rather than focusing on getting her property back. Still, it was nice that they cared. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wowie zowie, I am very grateful for my friend for letting me bounce ideas off them as I figure out how to work this chapter out exactly. I need to edit next chapter to flow a bit better now, but this still is going good, methinks.  
> You can find me on tumblr [@daydreaming-jessi](https://daydreaming-jessi.tumblr.com/)


	30. Dinner Prep

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Deetz/Maitland house prepares for Saturday, and apparently scheming brings romance to the air.

When Charles and Adam were let in on the plan, Delia began to realize it was up to her and Adam to keep everyone else from going overboard with their plans. It still took a lot on Delia’s part to keep Adam from going along with Lawrence and Barbara’s ideas, and a lot on Adam’s part to keep Delia from falling into Lydia’s suggestion, and Charles had to be reminded several times to  _ not _ take over everything himself. Together the two managed to keep the plan from scaling into a full blown disaster that could lead to injury and possibly death. Still, Delia had nerves about the whole thing. 

Lawrence managed to get some of the story from her, how when she was younger she became interested in the modeling business, how she made a shady deal with Ms. Kellermann, how the whole thing fell apart and Delia was left with regrets. It made Lawrence all the more determined to screw with the breathers that left Delia in such a worried mess. 

That meant he had to make sure Barbara and Adam could  _ actually  _ scare these people, though. As fun as the tricks they pulled with the last dinner party was, this one had to go right. They had to make sure these breathers were properly punished, and would leave Delia alone, even if she cared less about all that and more about getting her pictures away from her ex-agent. That meant lessons on being scary were once more brought to the board. And Lawrence was forcefully reminded of just how un-scary Barbara and Adam were. 

“Oh my god, can I just go ahead and stab myself this time?” Lawrence rubbed his face tiredly as Barbara let out what she thought was her scariest wail. It sounded more like she was just trying to impersonate Tarzan. 

“Beej,” Lydia pointedly nudged the back of his head with her boot, while she was laid out on the rafters of the attic with Sandy. 

Barbara and Adam both sighed tiredly, both looking drained themselves. They’d been at it in the attic all morning, and they seemed to be no closer to Lawrence’s expectations than before. “I don’t get how it’s not scary! I would be pretty freaked out to see some random dead lady hollering her head off at me,” Barbara pouted as she crossed her arms. 

“You can’t just rely on being dead to scare people!” Lawrence threw his arms about as he gestured wildly in his explanation. 

“Well why not? That’s pretty scary on its own, isn’t it? Death and all that?” Adam held his arms out similarly to a zombie in a halfhearted attempt to look more frightening. 

“Well… not really,” Lydia looked off to the side with a wince. 

“Clearly you don’t know about this generation’s relationship with death. And anyways, you need to get these guys to actually  _ see _ you, so you have to be scary enough that they have no choice but to acknowledge your presence! Breathers need to think their life is in danger, or they’re put in a situation where the only thing they can do is acknowledge ghosts, and that is usually best done by threatening their lives,” Lawrence explained. 

“You could’ve said that before,” Barbara grumbled. 

“We’re not risking peoples’ lives!” Adam stepped between Lawrence and Barbara while slashing the air with his arms with finality. 

“It won’t actually be risking peoples’ lives, A-dog. Remember what I did when Lyds summoned me at the last dinner party? No one got hurt, too badly at least, and I managed to get everyone out of there. You just need to go all out, throw caution to the wind for once for Christ’s sake!” Lawrence looked between the two ghosts desperately. 

Barbara and Adam exchanged uncertain looks. “I don’t know how-“ Barbara began. 

“Ah-ah! That’s your problem, you think too much! Just do it! Are you guys Maitlands 2.0 or what?” Lawrence congratulated himself for not gagging when  _ that _ corny statement tumbled out of his mouth, instead he threw his arms around the two’s shoulders and looked them both in the eye pointedly. 

Barbara let out a breath. “Maitlands 2.0,” she agreed. 

“For Delia,” Lydia added. 

Adam and Barbara clasped their hands determinedly, along with Lawrence to his surprise. “For Delia!” They agreed. Lawrence sputtered something similar along with them, while Sandy let out a sleepy chirp of agreement. 

Barbara and Adam noticed then that they’d been clasping Lawrence’s hand along with theirs and quickly let go. 

“S-sorry!” Adam stammered. 

“Should’ve asked!” Barbara blushed. 

Lawrence waved it off, though his hair was still tinted pink. “I don’t care, it’s cool. Would’ve said otherwise if I did. Now, don’t think just scare,” he moved back to the topic at hand. 

The Maitlands followed his lead, but Lydia saw the pink still staying on their cheeks and in Lawrence’s hair, and how all three stole looks at each other when the other wasn’t looking. All she could do is roll her eyes at the ridiculous display. Weren’t adults supposed to have grown out of such teenage actions? 

It seemed Lawrence’s advice and Lydia’s reminder of why they were doing this helped, though. Barbara let out a wail that truly did make Lydia and Sandy jolt, and even caused Charles and Delia to come up to make sure nothing bad happened. Adam even let Lawrence teach him how to hide random knives on his body, and safely pull them out without anyone noticing. 

When the knives came out, Barbara got a look in her eyes and pulled Adam to the side to whisper a plan to him. Adam looked intrigued by it, and he asked Lawrence to show him how to pull body parts off. That made Lawrence excited. “Oh my god, it’s finally happening,” he said before showing Adam how the trick worked. 

When he had it worked out, the couple made Lydia and Lawrence cover their eyes. Sandy helped, of course, making the two grumble at the huffing sandworm. When the time finally came, when Lydia and Lawrence were allowed to see, what lay before them was a bloody scene. 

Barbara smiled sweetly at them, while in one hand she had a grip on Adam’s hair, while in the other was a frighteningly sharp butcher’s knife, and Adam’s bloody body lay on the floor behind her, red blood oozing out of the severed neck to the laid out plastic bag beneath it. 

“That actually looks amazing,” Lydia grinned, carefully stepping around the pooling blood from the stump of Adam’s neck as she circled the scene. 

“It only took me about a year, but I finally got you guys ready for a night of fright,” Lawrence grinned proudly. 

Barbara grinned devilishly and pressed a kiss to Adam’s cheek. He blushed bright red in response. 

“Save something like this as a sort of finale, go  _ too _ wild at first and they’ll just ignore you. But you’re finally thinking in the right direction, I’m very proud of you two!” Lawrence clapped his hands together and grinned brightly, looking actually pleased. 

Adam and Barbara shot him a strange look, making him shift uncomfortably. “What?” He asked. 

“You’ve never smiled genuinely like that before,” Barbara noted. 

“It’s always been more… fake,” Adam agreed, trying to nod for a moment before remembering his neck muscles had been severed. 

Lawrence shrunk in on himself, thoughts turning dark for a moment. “What of it?” He huffed, stuffing his hands into his pockets while Barbara helped Adam’s head back onto his body. 

“Oh, nothing bad!” Adam said when he noticed Lawrence looking a bit more down now. 

“It looks cute, is all,” Barbara agreed, she and Adam both smiling at Lawrence when Adam was properly set back up. 

Lawrence reared back. “Cute?” He asked, his voice breaking just a smidge. 

Lydia and Sandy exchanged a look, the teen mouthing a snarky ‘ _ oh my god these dorks _ ’ to the now grinning sandworm. 

“Yeah!” Adam agreed, then realized that they both agreed Lawrence was cute. His cheeks blazed red once more, and he dropped him the bloody butcher’s knife, splattering blood everywhere. “No! Shoot!” Adam stared at the red mess aghast. 

“Oops,” Barbara squeezed his hand reassuringly while Lawrence regained his composure at being called  _ cute  _ for the first time in all of his life. 

“Well, if we were having the dinner up here, ghost blood would’ve been perfect decoration,” Lydia noted. Sandy eyed the mess for a long moment, before slithering forward and began to lap up the blood indulgently. 

“Er, is that safe for sandworms?” Adam asked worriedly, reaching a hand out in case he needed to stop the sandworm. 

“I think it’s actually nutritious for her, considering it’s ghost blood. Don’t worry about it, she’ll clean it up. Now onto more scare planning. We need to consider just what we’ll need to do to get the bitches to see you two,” Lawrence moved on once more. 

While the ghosts and goth figured out their night of fright, Charles worked hard to figure out how best to help Delia legally. He’d contacted their family lawyer, he tried to find the contract Delia  _ should’ve _ signed when she worked with Ms. Kellermann, and had to deal with the mini heart attack that Delia had just trusted a random stranger she paid with her photos and no contract agreement in place. Delia felt awful about the whole thing, and once again cursed her younger naive self for being so trusting, before remembering that she hadn’t really changed. 

“Maybe I deserve this,” she sighed to herself one day in the kitchen as she figured out the food to cook for the upcoming dinner. 

“What?” 

Delia nearly jumped out of her skin when she heard Charles ask that. She whirled around and stared wide eyed at her fiancé who scowled back at her depreciating statement. 

“What are you talking about?” Charles asked once more, crossing his arms. 

Delia waved the question off. “It’s nothing, don’t worry about it,” she put on a chipper voice, but it seemed he didn’t believe it. 

“You don’t really think you deserve this nonsense that Ms. Kellermann is pulling, do you?” Charles pushed, moving from the doorway further into the kitchen. 

Delia looked away guiltily. “I… I just…” she sighed and turned away. “It’s just like Otho. And I trusted him to help  _ Lydia _ of all things, and I’ve just always done this to myself! Trusted people when I shouldn’t have, and then having it blow up in my face. I’m just… too stupid to learn apparently,” she sighed. Charles’ frown deepened, and he strode to Delia’s side, taking her hands. 

“You trust people because you want to see the best in them. That’s why I hired you as Lydia’s life coach. It’s not your fault people take advantage of that,” Charles reminded her. 

“But there’s a difference between jumping into a lake you’ve never been too before and just diving into a tank holding sharks! I should know better by now, for God’s sake, I’m a grown woman, not a naive little girl who hasn’t been hurt by the world yet,” Delia blinked away her tears. 

Charles cupped Delia’s cheeks, leaned forward and pressed a kiss to her forehead, the apples of her cheeks, and the tip of her nose. “This isn’t your fault. You didn’t ask Kellermann to go against your wishes, you didn’t ask Otho to lie to you, you didn’t ask for any of the trouble you went through in life. It’s not your fault that people took advantage of you. When you found out they did, you pulled back and protected yourself as best you can. When you found out Otho lied to you, you kicked him to the curb. When you found out about what Kellermann was doing, you worked to fix the mess it created. It’s not your fault people are awful, Delia,” he reminded her gently, before pressing a long, breathtaking kiss to Delia’s lips. 

When they finally drew apart, they took a moment to simply breathe, barely inches apart. “Next summer, I think we should go ahead and have the wedding,” Delia panted. 

“Agreed,” Charles nodded desperately. 

“Oh my god, can you guys  _ please  _ keep this stuff to your room? I’m a child, for God’s sake,” Lydia’s voice interrupted the affair, making Charles and Delia jump. 

“You’re back from school early,” Delia’s voice was still several octaves higher as Lydia entered the kitchen fully and slung her school bag over one of the dining chairs. 

“I need to work on a project tonight. I’ll be in my room working on it with my partner on the phone,” Lydia grabbed two oranges and a kiwi before heading to the door once more. 

“I thought you hated oranges,” Charles raised an eyebrow. 

“Beej bugs me less when he’s peeling them,” was all Lydia replied before disappearing out of the kitchen. 

Delia and Charles shared an amused glance, but there was still heat in the air. “So she’ll be busy tonight, the Maitlands and Lawrence are in the attic doing more ghost stuff...” Delia trailed off and gave Charles a coy smile. 

Charles grinned. “I think we can take a break from planning for a few hours,” he agreed, and the two went off to their bedroom. 

Meanwhile, in her room, Lydia pulled up her messaging app and hit Keith’s profile before sitting down at her desk while the phone rang. Fairly soon, Keith picked it up. 

“Hey Lydia,” he said with ease. 

“Oi, why’re you talking to Deetz? You’re at your  _ boyfriend’s  _ house,” she heard Darrin call out in the background. 

“You’re at Darrin’s?” She asked as she opened up her laptop. 

“His uncle has a garage filled to the brim with chemicals and tools,” Keith explained. 

She heard Darrin dramatically gasp, “J’accuse! You only came over to use my family’s stuff!” 

“Sorry Darrin, I forced him,” Lydia said, tapping at her laptop as she pulled up the notes she needed for their experiment. 

“I come over every Friday anyways, babe, this is just a one time favor to our friend in need,” Keith said teasingly. 

“Yeah. Well, yeah, but still.” Lydia could see a mental image of Darrin pouting as he crossed his arms. 

“We’re blowing shit up, so you can watch,” Lydia offered. 

“Oh hell yeah. Okay, you’re forgiven. What’re we blowing up and why?” Darrin asked, his voice coming louder as he neared Keith’s phone Lydia suspected. 

“I’m teaching Lydia how to make dry ice smoke for a long period of time, and how she can make sounds with it without hurting anyone,” Keith explained. 

“Cool, but not necessarily exploding cool. Does put your years of helping work out the background effects of our theatre to good use.” 

“I’m also gonna set a dress on fire,” Lydia offered. 

“That’s more like it! So how does our little pyromaniac do this, babe?” Darrin asked, a grin coloring his voice. 

“Okay, so you should have this sort of stuff laying around in your garage, and if not, you can buy at any hardware store. I know they sell dry ice at the grocery store too, so that won’t be a big deal,” Keith launched into a series of explanations Lydia wrote down, while she heard the sound of tinkering in the background as Keith worked out tools she could make to do the tasks she needed. 

Eventually Lawrence did come into her room to hide from his overwhelming crush of the Maitlands, or as he put it, bug her, as expected. It only took him a few seconds of listening to their conversation to catch onto what Lydia and the boyfriends were discussing though, so he simply sat on the bed and enjoyed the two oranges in peace, slowly peeling them and enjoying the fruit before gulping down the rinds after. 

Soon, Lydia possessed a backstage theatre kid’s knowledge of dry ice and pyrotechnics, which was a slightly terrifying amount. “Never mess with backstage hand,” Keith snickered when Lydia pointed out how refined her notes ended up. 

“Duly noted now. Thanks Keith, I owe you one,” Lydia grinned at all that she had written down. 

“You can repay it by doing us all a favor, getting over your pining ass, and asking Bea out already,” Darrin said, to Lydia’s mortification. 

“Wait, Lydia has a crush on Bea?” Keith asked in surprise. 

“If you say another word, I will cause you an even greater fear than just spiders in your hair, Darrin Ty Mendoza,” Lydia hissed through her teeth. 

“Oh, wow, she does,” Keith hummed. 

“But it’s torture watching you moon after her,” Darin whined. 

“In Lydia’s defense, you aren’t really the best source of dating advice considering you asked me to be your boyfriend in the third grade, Dare,” Keith said pointedly, with an edge of humor tinting his voice. 

“And yet here we are, with you as my boyfriend in high school. Seven years, Deetz! You can have this sort of thing yourself if you just grow a spine and put us all out of our misery!” Darrin threw out. 

“I’m going to only text Keith now if I need any further help. Bye,” Lydia hung up the phone, cutting off the two boys' laughter. She couldn’t help but smile at their antics, even if they involved calling her obvious crush out. 

Then she turned to shoot Lawrence a glare. “Don’t you even start, you’re in here because you’re gonna explode and tell the Maitlands you like them,” she pointed a finger at the demon currently chewing on orange rinds. 

He let out a muffled protest, shooting Lydia rude hand gestures as he levitated up and over to get a better look at her notes. “I can do half this shit with my eyes closed,” he said as he scanned through them. 

“You’re gonna be focused on your own stuff and the Maitlands, though, so I shall do what I do on my own,” Lydia replied. 

“I suppose DIY scares aren’t as lame as  _ some _ DIY shit,” Lawrence admitted as he continued to struggle with the font on the computer. It seemed Adam was right about some fonts computers used being more difficult to read than others for those with dyslexia. 

“...you don’t think we’re going overboard with this, do you?” Lydia asked after a moment. 

“The minute this chick showed up at this house after twelve years of radio silence, this was going to be necessary. Her showing up again and making D freak out just proves it,” Lawrence replied with a scowl. 

A sly look came over Lydia’s face. “Aw, you don’t like that Ms. Kellermann upset Stepmom. You  _ do  _ have a heart that cares for people.” 

Lawrence froze before wrinkling his nose in disgust and shoving Lydia’s shoulder. “Whatever, you guys are the weirdos that let me back into your house and think I’m cool or whatever,” he groused. A strange look flashed through Lydia’s eyes, one that Lawrence could’ve sworn was hurt. “What?” He asked, uncertain. 

Lydia shook her head. “Nothing, just thinking that I’m gonna tell the Maitlands how you’re doing this from the kindness of your soul,” she turned back to her laptop before Lawrence could interpret any more of her expression. 

“That would be an even bigger dick move than when you stabbed me, it’s one thing to ruin a guy’s body, it’s another to ruin his reputation!” Lawrence cried, poking Lydia’s cheek in vengeance. 

They bickered on as Lydia worked her plan for Saturday out, until dinner was ready to be made, then she and Lawrence went to see if they could help.  


The time for Saturday drew ever nearer. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I can officially say we’ve moved into mutual pining territory for Beej and the Maitlands :^3  
> You can find me on tumblr [@daydreaming-jessi](https://daydreaming-jessi.tumblr.com/)


	31. Fright of Their Lives

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A dinner party is held, and as is expected, it turns into a night of fright. Can these people not have a normal dinner for once?!

The sky was clear as the sun sank into the horizon, and yet there seemed to be an ominous haze on the Deetz home. Nerves were set on edge, and even the ever pleasant doorbell chime made a few of the visitors jump. “My, what a mood for the night,” Ms. Kellermann said to her three clients. 

Tight smiles were flashed, yet none of them contributed to the attempts at lighthearted conversation. A loud thump sounded off behind them, causing the four to jump.

“Ricardo,  _ please  _ do be careful with that,” Ms. Kellermann snapped to the pale man that had walked up the path behind them. A heavy duffel bag now sat next to his feet, forgotten as the man, Ricardo, snapped his sunglasses off and eyed the towering home before them disgustedly. 

“This is where Delia lives now? How… suburban,” his lips curled at his words, as if he were forced to eat a lemon. 

“There’s a charm to it, I think. Perhaps I should look into buying a home in the hills,” Ms. Kellermann smiled widely, eyeing the clients from her peripheral to see if they were paying attention. 

They were caught up with the decor instead, eyeing the delicate black metal rails adorning the edges of the roof above them, the thick, glossy dark oak of the porch around them, the freshly painted crisp white of the walls before them. “A beautiful home, I wonder how much upkeep costs,” the shortest client, Huberis, a well dressed man who shaved his head and focused his hair grooming on his curled mustache and neatly combed beard, hummed. 

“Can’t be that much, so far out from the neighborhood, I think it’s more getting people to come out here at all that would be a bigger worry than cost,” said the tallest client, Maggy, a willowy woman with long nails that seemed to constantly be tapping at the buttons on her dark pea coat. 

The last client, Lo, a colorfully dressed yet quiet woman who looked similar to Huberis and stood only a few inches taller than the him, absently hummed as her mind wandered to possible work that could be done to the house to better fit her aesthetic. 

The front door creaked open finally, making the five guests tense up once more. “Hello, esteemed guests,” Lydia appeared in the open doorway, dressed in a heavy black dress with dark makeup painted on her face, giving her a more skeletal appearance than usual. Her eyes bore into the adults before her as she stared at them detachedly. 

“A-Ah, Lydia! You look… dressed,” Ms. Kellermann laughed, high pitched and nervous. 

“Come in, won’t you?” Lydia backed away to let the guests inside. 

The three clients gave their thanks to her as they went in, setting their coats on the rack beside the door. Ricardo sidled past Lydia, shooting her apprehensive looks as if she would attack him with a sacrificial knife at any moment. Ms. Kellermann followed last, pausing to speak to Lydia out of earshot. “Your father let you wear that tonight?” She asked, failing miserably to hide the dismay in her voice. 

“Last I checked, I’m not a two year old, unable to put on my own clothing,” Lydia replied, her tone flat as she pushed the door closed with a loud thud. 

“Ms. Kellermann, glad you made it! Oh, Ricardo, it’s been a long time,” Delia’s peppy tone distracted the five guests from the teen who eagerly vanished further into the house, away from sight. Their eyes were drawn to the stairs, where Delia appeared, dressed in a dark evening gown she’d pulled out from the back of her closet and dusted off the day before. 

“Delia. Smoking as always,” Ricardo said, his eyes lingering over Delia, eyes glittering like a vulture. 

Delia managed not to falter at his debauching looks, but her jaw tightened and she wondered if he would end up with a black eye at the end of the night. “So, Ms. Kellermann, I assume these are the clients?” She instead addressed Ms. Kellermann as she descended down the stairs to the first floor. 

“Yes! Delia, I’d like you to meet Maggy, Lo, and Hubris,” Ms. Kellermann rattled off the names like a game show hostess. 

“Huberis,” the short man spoke up, before extending his hand to Delia. “I must say, you have a natural talent, Miss Delia, I was in awe of your portfolio,” he continued. 

“Aha, yes portfolio, that’s… certainly one way to describe those pictures,” Delia laughed awkwardly as she shook Huberis’ hand. 

“Such a small selection, though, and, while I do not mean this disparagingly at all, you look fit as a fiddle still, not very recent. I was a bit uncertain about taking such a risk, I was slightly worried we were going to be scammed,” Maggy smiled benignly as she shook Delia’s hand. 

“Oh, don’t we all,” Delia could feel anger at Ms. Kellermann bubbling in her chest, but she pushed it down. Not now, she still needed to get those pictures back. 

“I already imagined fifty works when I saw your photos, and now that I’ve seen you in person, I can imagine fifty one more. I’m surprised no one else has hired you for modeling yet,” Lo spoke softly, her eyes staring intensely at Delia, as if she were already imaging a pose for the next shot. 

“Speaking of, you did remember to bring those photos, right?” Delia looked over to Ms. Kellermann and Ricardo desperately, begging the universe to have not let this night turn into a waste. 

“Of course, I never let them wander far. They’re my…  _ best  _ work yet,” Ricardo smiled a bit too widely, and Delia felt the sudden desire to just shove him out the door to wait. 

“I thought perhaps we could discuss your portfolio among other things, you could be making so many jobs if you were to just tweak it the slightest bit,” Maggy added. Delia was happy to bring her attention to the woman, and  _ away _ from Ricardo. 

Up the stairs, Lydia, Lawrence, and the Maitlands assessed their guests. “I don’t think I like that Ricardo guy,” Barbara pressed her lips together in a thin line of disgust as she eyed the pale, grease slicked hair man that leered uncomfortably at Delia as she talked to the woman Maggy. 

“I don’t even want to let them try and eat dinner, I want them gone now,” Lydia wrinkled her nose in disgust. 

“We have to get Delia’s photos back, first.  _ Then  _ we can get them out,” Adam reminded them. Lydia scowled, but didn’t argue with the ghost, knowing he was right. 

Lawrence remained uncharacteristically silent, watching the five guests closely as he assessed them. Kellermann and Ricardo would be easy, the two were so self-centered they’d leave a dangerous situation in a heartbeat. The other three, the clients, though, may be a little harder. 

“Well dinner is ready, let’s go ahead and sit down, shall we?” Delia finished the conversing with a clap of her hands, and she quickly ushered the guests towards the set up dining room that hadn’t been used since the last dinner party they had. 

“Guess it’s time to face the music,” Lydia grumbled, and started for the stairs. 

Lawrence looked back to the Maitlands. “Keep an eye out for my signal,” he reminded them once more. 

“Just a normal signal, don’t use the bird call,” Barbara sighed with a shake of her head. 

“But the bird call is professional!” Lawrence pouted. 

“Good luck,” Adam patted the demon’s shoulder and shot him a bright smile. Lawrence pretended to swoon at the touch to hide the fact that he really was swooning inside, making the two ghosts snort one last time before he headed off after Lydia. 

For some strange reason the Deetz sort of just expected him to be a part of the dinner party. Charles had helped him pick out some nice clothes to wear for the evening, Delia showed him which seat would be his, and Lydia noted that if the guests became too much, the two of them could slink off to the kitchen for a break for a moment. He wasn’t completely sure why they expected him to be a part of the actual dinner party, but he had the working theory that it was because Ms. Kellermann knew he lived there and expected him to attend. Any other reason felt too hopeful to him. 

Lawrence and Lydia appeared in the dining room, both shooting each other hideous faces as they went. “Lydia, Lawrence, so glad you joined us!” Delia was at the table with Charles already, and both looking relieved to see the goth and demon. 

“I didn’t realize you had  _ two _ children,” Ricardo eyed Lawrence and Lydia with a faint air of disgust. 

“Well a lot happens in life. Now let’s sit down and start discussing business. Shall we?” Delia asked, sitting down in her chair with little flourish as Lawrence and Lydia hurried to their own seats at the dining table. 

“Yes, of course! Where to begin?” Ms. Kellermann dropped a napkin in her lap as she thought. 

“Perhaps we should begin with what sort of job it is being offered,” Charles cut in, shooting the three clients a tight grin. 

“I would’ve thought Grace explained it to you before,” Maggy looked over to the older woman confusedly. 

“Oh, well, Delia and I don’t talk as much as we should. This whole thing was such a surprise, and I had to arrange so much these past few days, I’m afraid it completely slipped my mind,” Ms. Kellermann tittered, shooting Charles a hard look from the corner of her eye. 

“Well, we’d be happy to explain. We work for a sort of private studio that is teaching photography as well as making art pieces. We run sessions where a student can purchase an hour long session with a model to try and practice working with a living, breathing model, where they are directing the model’s poses, creating a set and in general learning the ropes to photography. We also can be rented out by artists wishing to make a new collection, where we provide the set and props and the model and such,” Huberis began. 

“What we so desperately need, though, is models. People don’t exactly rent our space to photograph nice looking sets, they do it for people. You’d be hired as one of these models. You’d become a  _ big _ part of the photography art world, working with several famous photographers and up and coming stars, like our dear Lo here,” Maggy added, and Huberis nodded eagerly in agreement. Lo took a big drink of the white wine being served, barely paying attention to the conversation at hand. 

Delia was slightly relieved at how they described the job. She was worried it would be a more salacious offer, but it seemed to be more artsy than anything else. “Well, it certainly sounds interesting,” she hummed, sipping at her water. 

“Oh but you should hear how much they’re offering to pay you, Delia dear!” Ms. Kellermann butted in excitedly. 

While the adults delved into the boring topic of pay rates, Lydia and Lawrence picked at the food that had been served. Any time they tried to add to the conversation, Ms. Kellermann shut them down with tight smiles, changing subjects so quickly they could hardly keep up, and so the two quickly gave up and let the conversation pass. “So this is a dinner party. Seems like a bit of a stretch calling  _ this  _ a party,” Lawrence muttered out of the corner of his mouth. 

“I used to have to suffer through so many of these dumb things. Dad had a lot of ‘friends’ to impress back in New York,” Lydia stabbed a cherry tomato, imagining it to be Ms. Kellermann’s tiny heart as its red juices dripped down the tines of her fork. 

“How the hell did you survive this bullshit?” Lawrence asked, covertly pushing the glass of wine at his elbow away. 

“Mom would play a game with me where we tried to guess what large word a guest would use incorrectly to try and impress everyone else,” Lydia offered. 

“Really?” Lawrence’s voice dripped with disappointment. 

“We’d also play a game where we had a single poisoned pill and we would have to figure out which guest dying would stop the party the soonest,” Lydia added with a smirk. 

“Oh that’s more like it! Let’s do it.” 

“I think everyone would be more relieved if Ms. Kellermann or Ricardo died. They’d be hanging around and chatting as they called the ambulance, making this evening stretch on even longer,” Lydia hummed after a moment of thought. 

“The way this Lo girl is chugging her drink, everyone would think she’d passed out before they thought to check her pulse,” Lawrence eyed the now sleepily blinking photographer. 

“The answer is obviously Huberis, Maggy would put up a whole fuss and cause the dinner party to dissolve,” Lydia nodded decisively, noting how the taller woman kept discreetly placing a hand on the shorter man every other second. 

“Ooh, good point,” Lawrence nodded in agreement. “It could work the other way, though,” he added after a moment. 

“Fair point. He does seem to be a secret hysteric, doesn’t he?” 

The two shared a look before dissolving into snickers. “Alright, this is a great game,” Lawrence said when he got his laughter under control. 

“Dead Mom made a lot of great games,” Lydia agreed. 

“Thanks, Dead Mom,” Lawrence saluted the empty air. 

“Could we try that incorrect word usage game now?” Adam appeared behind the two, unseen by the guests at the moment. Lawrence let out a fake groan while Lydia nodded eagerly. 

While the three continued their game of quietly mocking their guests, Delia struggled to figure out how to bring up her photos to the conversation, and how she could move them from Kellermann and Ricardo’s possession to hers without a big drama. Kellermann seemed determined to focus on buttering the clients up while Ricardo was all too eager to openly flirt with Delia, despite Charles sitting right next to her. She was starting to feel hopeless. How could she do this? 

“Delia, are you okay?” Barbara appeared, leaning close to Delia’s side. 

Delia internally jumped, and waited to make sure no one was paying attention to her before confiding to Barbara. “I don’t know how to do this. I just… I wish Grace had just gotten rid of those stupid pictures when I asked her!” Delia left out an exasperated breath, nervously pushing her bangs out of her eyes for the hundredth time that night. 

Barbara nodded understandingly. “I know. But it’s too late for wishes, isn’t it?” Barbara squeezed Delia’s shoulder with an icy hand. “We’re here with you. Just start, and we’ll follow your lead,” she reassured Delia. 

Delia took in a deep breath, recollecting herself. “Right. Doesn’t matter how much I want to stab Ricardo’s crotch, or how much I want to yell at Grace and tell the clients how she unceremoniously dumped my ass on the curb before. I need to stay on task.” 

“Vengeance comes after,” Barbara agreed before moving to join Adam standing behind Lydia and Lawrence. 

Delia sought out Charles’ hand under the table, and he instantly gave it a squeeze. She caught his eye for a moment, and he nodded encouragingly. Charles had been patient all evening, having promised Delia to let her handle this situation, as it was her mess to clean up first and foremost. Even if every time Ricardo blatantly flirted with her caused Charles’ veins to bulge in anger, he still let her take the lead. 

She could see Lydia and Lawrence sinking further and further into their seats, bored out of their minds and miserable with being treated like  _ they  _ were the unwanted guests, and yet not a single peep of complaint came from either one of the two. They stayed strong, for her. Delia couldn’t help but smile soppily. It was nice to have people wanting to help her, she realized. She was grateful, and decided enough misery was wrecked on their family tonight. 

“Ms. Kellermann,” Delia cut into the conversation of rental costs with Huberis. The older woman looked to Delia, startled by the cold tone she had suddenly taken. “It’s been so long, I’m a bit curious as to how those photos look,” Delia put on a fake smile and her breathy accent as she grandly gestured to the older woman. 

Ms. Kellermann clasped her hands together. “You know, it has been a while hasn’t it? Ricardo, fetch the portfolio, won’t you?” Ms. Kellermann looked at him expectantly. 

Ricardo, who had been ogling Delia the entire time, let out a frustrated huff at the interruption as he stood up and moved to the foyer, where he had left the duffel bag. Lawrence glanced back to Adam and Barbara and nodded to them. They got the signal and disappeared after Ricardo. Lawrence and Lydia then shared a quick look, and Lawrence dove into the conversation. 

“So, here’s a random question to get to know y'all better. Have any of you ever wondered about death?” He asked bluntly. 

“Oh, isn’t that a question we all have at his age?” Ms. Kellermann chuckled nervously, but before she could change the subject, Lydia jumped in. 

“I always did wonder if it is as final as people say it is. After all, even now I still feel like Dead Mom is around, keeping an eye on us,” she noted. 

“It seems they weren’t kidding when they said the memory of your loved ones lives on,” Charles agreed with a knowing nod. 

“Dead Mom?” Maggy asked curiously. 

“My, such a dark topic for such a lovely evening. I wonder what’s taking Ricardo,” Ms. Kellermann twisted around in her seat to stare desperately at the door leading to the living room. 

“Are you perhaps talking about ghosts?” Lo asked. It seemed the conversation had finally piqued her interest, as she set the empty glass she’d been forlornly eying down. 

“Indeed we are. Have any paranormal stories to share?” Lawrence asked, resting his elbow on the table as he placed his chin in his hand. He batted his eyes innocently, while Lydia smiled pleasantly beside him. 

“Oh now, such childish idles, why it feels like we’re hanging around some kind of campfire now-“ Ms. Kellermann tried once more to cut in, but it was no use. 

“Oh, Huberis had an experience when we moved out of our old studio!” Maggy eagerly clapped her hands together before grabbing the shorter man’s shoulders and looking at him pleadingly. 

Huberis cleared his throat, and his chest puffed up with pride as he delved into his story. “Well, someone needed to stay behind when the movers were all done for the day. The schedule had gone over a little, and it was starting to get dark when the movers finally called it in. I was just making the rounds by myself, checking to make sure every window and door was locked when I heard a strange sound,” Huberis began. The floor above them creaked loudly, making everyone pause. 

“Is… is there someone else upstairs?” Ms. Kellermann asked. 

“No, it’s only the four of us living here,” Delia put a hand to her cheek as she looked around with comically wide eyes. Lawrence and Lydia hid their snickers behind their napkins while Charles encouragingly squeezed Delia’s knee. “Anyways, go on,” Delia waved the question away and smiled innocuously. 

“R-Right, I heard a strange sound. I noticed the studio was starting to get rather chilly, even though the air conditioning  _ never  _ worked there before. I went to go see what had caused the ruckus, if perhaps we had a mouse or something. I went into the bathroom, and, of course, I found nothing in there. I chalked it up to my imagination running wild, and turned to leave. That’s when I heard it again! It sounded like someone tapping on glass,” Huberis tapped a finger on his glass to emphasize the sound, making Maggy titter. Everyone around the table nodded, except for Ms. Kellermann who looked desperately around for  _ some _ way to change the subject. “Of course that was when I remembered how a couple years before, our studio used to be a storehouse. The previous owner had been arrested for  _ murdering _ his wife, such a ghastly man. He’d left her body in a fake suicide scene in his storehouse, but the police figured out that she had been murdered, and his alibi fell apart rather quickly.” 

“I think that man got what he deserved, though! He died of a heart attack in his cell,” Maggy jumped in with a sniff. 

“Right you are,” Huberis shot her a bemused grin. 

The floorboard above them creaked once again, sounding more like actual footsteps this time. They moved across the room from one end to the other, and when they stopped, the lights flickered. “How odd. We’d just gotten the wiring looked at,” Charles noted. The guests looked around nervously. 

“We’ll have to call the electrician again. Now what happened next?” Charles continued. 

“Right… A-Anyways, so I heard glass being tapped on behind me. I turned around, half expecting something, but there wasn’t a soul in sight. I told myself I was being silly, remembering tragic stories and just getting myself worked up over nothing. Still, I went to get one last final look in the mirror. And there I thought I saw something, there in the glass. Some sort of smudge. So I closed the door and turned on the hot water, and the mirror steamed up. There I saw fingerprints, hundreds of them. I have no idea where they came from. I tried to rub them away, but they stuck there, as if they were on the other side of the glass…” Everyone had leaned in further and further forward as Huberis told his story, but before he could get to the end of it, a loud noise broke through the silence and Ricardo let out a yell from the foyer. The guests jumped, and even Ms. Kellermann let out a yelp of fear. 

“Oh my, that sounded like Ricardo,” Lydia put a hand to her mouth, looking around worriedly. 

“Ricardo? Are you alright? Ricardo!” Ms. Kellermann got up from the table and everyone followed as they exited the dining room to the foyer, where they found Ricardo somehow looking even paler than before. He was pressed against the wall, the duffel bag dropped next to him, as he stared at the mirror set up in the hallway in terror. 

“What is going on, Ricardo? I told you to be careful with that!” Ms. Kellermann stormed up next to him and looked around for the source of his panic with a glare. 

Ricardo slowly pointed a shaking finger to the mirror. “There was someone there, I-I swear,” he said. 

“What did you see?” Lydia pressed, stepping closer. 

Ricardo looked to her with wide eyes filled with panic. “I-I’m not sure. Just, my reflection was there one moment, then it started to just… melt!” He swallowed thickly. 

“Oh, you damn- I think you might’ve had a bit too much to drink tonight don’t you, Ricardo dear?” Ms. Kellermann masked her anger with a twitching grin as she tightly grasped his arm with digging fingers, snapping Ricardo out of his tizzy. 

Ricardo looked over to her a moment and slowly nodded in agreement. “Right, right, too much to drink,” he murmured, leaning down to grab the duffel bag once more. 

“You know, I’ve heard that if you stare in a mirror in a dark room, your eyes will start to see things as your brain struggles to compute the information it’s being given,” Maggy noted as they moved back to the dining room. 

“Ah, yes, a perfectly reasonable explanation, rather than something silly like ghosts! Now, let’s get back to the topic at hand,” Ms. Kellermann agreed, as she drug the still shaken Ricardo along. 

Lydia and Lawrence paused long enough to shoot Adam and Barbara hiding on the stairs a thumbs up before hurrying after the others. 

“Now, let’s see, yes! Here they are,” Ms. Kellermann dug around the duffel bag for a moment before pulling an orange clasp envelope out of its depths. She opened it with a flourish and pulled out five sleek photos and displayed them on the table. “I must say, despite some of the circumstances this is some of Ricardo’s best work,” Ms. Kellermann noted as she eyed the pictures with some degree of pride. 

“Those circumstances being they were taken in a cheap motel room instead of an actual set,” Delia muttered under her breath. 

The photos were a mix of headshots and full body pictures of a younger looking Delia. “You have a tattoo?” Lawrence asked Delia incredulously when he noticed the body art in one photo. 

“That’s a story for later,” she replied quietly before moving to gather the photos. “These are all of them?” 

“Should be,” Ricardo said from where he stood in one corner of the dining room with a cigarette in hand, bouncing a knee nervously as he tried to calm himself. 

Delia shot Lawrence and Lydia a smile. “Perfect.” 

“You know, not to bring up the whole death thing again, but I just thought it was funny, these weird things happening tonight and that story Huberis told,” Lydia noted, putting the plan to work. 

“Oh, not this again,” Ms. Kellermann groaned. 

“Did you know that two people died in this house?” Lydia charged forward, staring at the clients with wide eyes. 

“Oh  _ my _ , really?” Maggy gasped. 

“What happened to them?” Lo asked, her interest returning once more. 

“Oh they were just a normal, typical couple that lived here. But one fateful day, they just,” Lawrence drew a finger across his neck. “Died. Floor gave out from under them, right out there, in the living room,” Lawerance pointed out to where they had been moments before. They could hear Ricardo’s breath hitch from his corner. 

“The house was sold, and their stuff moved out. Weird things just keep happening here, though, you know? You just always have the feeling that something here doesn’t want you hanging around,” Lydia nodded, eyeing the ceiling. Everyone else peered upwards, while Delia inconspicuously snuck the photos to Charles. “Sometimes it seems like they’re living in the attic or something,” Lydia shrugged. 

“It’s just an old house though, isn’t it? No way it’s actual ghosts,” Lawrence grinned innocently. 

“Of course,” Lydia nodded. 

“Well, I think that’s enough about ghosts, I say we just forget all this death business and move on. Why don’t you two run along and go play or something,” Ms. Kellermann tried to wave Lawrence and Lydia away. 

The two ignored her. “It’s funny, though. I believe I’m the same age the couple was, when they were still alive. Who knew death was so… near,” Lawrence peered over his shoulder. The others couldn’t help but look over their own shoulders worriedly. 

“And you know, maybe ghosts don’t exist. But sometimes, I hear  _ something  _ in this house. Something speaking to me, telling me,” Lydia paused as Barbara and Adam peeked through the wall behind the dinner guests. 

Barbara neared Ms. Kellermann and Lo, Adam near Ricardo and Huberis, the two forward leaning to the guests’ ears and whispering, “ _ Get out _ .” 

Ricardo screamed, scrambling away, Maggy leapt into Huberis’ side, and Ms. Kellermann jumped forward before whipping around to see what spoke. “What was that?” Maggy cried, looking around in a panic. Amidst the chaos, Delia and and and Charles snuck off to the living room with the photos, where a cheerily burning fire awaited them and the pictures. 

“So you heard it too?” Lydia asked the clients with wide eyes. 

“Ok that’s enough ghost stories! Lydia, I don’t need you scaring our clients,  _ not when we’re about to make a deal _ . So why don’t you just quiet down and let the adults talk?” Ms. Kellermann hissed to the teen. 

Lydia eyed her balefully and Lawrence was seconds away from just shoving the woman into the basement where Sandy was currently hiding from the frivolity and just let the sandworm deal with the woman. 

Delia and Charles returned to find the dining room tense, Lydia and Lawrence both looking ready to tear into Ms. Kellermann at any seconds. “Er, so maybe we should move along to the deserts now,” Delia clapped her hands together. 

“Enough with the dinner!” Ms. Kellermann rounded angrily on Delia. “Delia, as your agent, I think this is the best opportunity you’ll ever get in your life, so let’s just go ahead and sign the contract already!” 

Delia clenched her hands together. “You know, it’s funny, that’s exactly the same thing you said twelve years ago,” she said cooly. 

Ms. Kellermann froze, Ricardo slunk further away, and the clients looked between the two women confusedly. 

“Delia, are you really going to bring that ancient history up again?” Ms. Kellermann chuckled awkwardly, 

“I think these clients deserve to hear it,” Delia replied sharply. 

“Hear what, exactly?” Maggy stepped closer, and a suspicious look filled her eyes as Huberis and Lo followed closely after. 

“Hear how much Grace and Ricardo here have screwed me over,” Delia replied, her voice rising with anger. 

“Delia, now is certainly not the time to bring that nonsense up! It’s in the past,” Ms. Kellermann‘s voice rose in pitch. 

“You didn’t even do as I asked you, those photos were to be destroyed, and not seen by anyone else when you threw me to the curb!” Delia’s eyes sparked with righteous fury. 

“I have gotten you a job that will get you out of this sad hole! Life coaching, really, you’re gonna waste your talents here on those freaks?” Ms. Kellermann gestured to Lydia and Lawrence. 

Charles' eyes flashed with anger and he stepped forward to speak when Delia’s yell rang out, “Don’t you  _ ever  _ talk about my kids like that!” 

Lawrence froze in shock, and Lydia stared in amazement as Delia straightened up and towered over Ms. Kellermann. The redhead began to march forward, making Ms. Kellermann stumble back into the still cowering Ricardo. 

“I have had enough of being pushed around and used by everyone! I’ve had enough of being peoples’ eye candy, and I will not stand idly by as you insult my family! Those photos were not yours to advertise, I will not be making any deals tonight, and I demand you two apologize for everything!” Delia’s eyes burned ferociously. 

Ms. Kellermann took a breath, and straightened up her shoulders. “You want an apology? Fine!” Ms. Kellermann opened her mouth to speak, but instead of any snarky comeback or sarcastic expression of regret, she instead sang, “ _ You keep saying you’ve got something for me _ .”

Ms. Kellermann threw her hands over her mouth. Silence rang through the air. The clients stared at Ms. Kellermann, utterly bewildered, Delia and Charles blinked in surprise, and Lawrence and Lydia shared a delighted grin. 

Ricardo slowly straightened up to look around for any hidden cameras. “Er, Grace?” He asked, when he spotted none. 

“I… I’m not sure what came over me,” Ms. Kellermann looked around confusedly. 

That was when the house began to seemingly  _ hum _ with the instrumentals of an old tune. “Is that Nancy Sinatra?” Charles looked over to Lawrence confusedly. 

The demon shrugged. “They like the act, and the song just fit,” he replied. 

“Perhaps we should all sit down, and maybe we can talk out what’s going on here,” Huberis took a step over to Ms. Kellermann who waved him off. 

“I’m perfectly fine! There’s nothing to discuss, it’s all just a misunderstand-  _ You’ve been a’messin’ where you shouldn’t‘ve been a’messin’ _ ,” Ms. Kellermann stumbled away. “Ricardo, help!” She cried. 

“It’s finally happened, you’ve cracked,” Ricardo said in slight awe. 

“Shut up, you damn degenerate!” Ms. Kellermann snapped. 

Ricardo’s nostrils flared. “You know what? I don’t have to take that from some low life con artist, and-  _ now someone else is getting all your best _ ,” he belted out. He looked around in terror. “What the  _ fuck _ ?” He sounded hysterical now. 

“Am I drunk or is there music playing somewhere?” Lo asked. 

The dinner guests suddenly then straightened up like toy soldiers and began to dance around. 

“ _ Well, these boots are made for walking, and that’s just what they’ll do. One of these days these boots are gonna walk all over you, yeah _ .” They sang in harmony, dancing like they had practiced for days, though one could see the utter confusion in their eyes as their bodies moved without permission. 

Lydia and Lawrence joined Delia and Charles by the door to the foyer, enjoying the ridiculous affair going on before them. Barbara and Adam appeared above everyone in the air, moving the guests with ease better than the last dinner performance they’d pulled months before. “Dunno if this lady will ever apologize, but I think this is a lot better, honestly,” Lawerance noted, he and Lydia grinning. Delia didn’t bother to hide her smile, and instead chose to squish them into a quick hug. 

“ _ You keep lyin’ when you oughta be truthin’, you keep losing when you oughta not bet, you keep samin ‘ when you oughta be a’changin’. Now what’s right is right but you ain’t been right yet.”  _

“Thank you all,” she said. Charles put an arm around her shoulder, smiling. 

“The night is still young, and Ms. Kellermann needs to be told firmly to not come back here. Shall we?” Lydia looked over to the Maitlands, who winked back at the four and prepared for their finishing number. 

Ricardo leapt onto the table with Ms. Kellermann and dipped her back while Maggy and Huberis gestured grandly to them and Lo slipped into a split in front of the whole thing. 

“ _ These boots are made for walking, and that’s just what they’ll do. One of these days these boots are gonna walk all over you. _ ” 

A stunned silence filled the air as the possession wore off. “I don’t… I don’t…. what just happened?” Ms. Kellermann panted, looking around from Ricardo’s arms confusedly. 

“It must have been the ghosts,” Lydia replied simply. 

“There’s no such thing as ghosts!” Ricardo exploded, looking ready to bolt as he dropped Ms. Kellermann to the table. 

“Yeah, Lydia! I haven’t seen a single sign of any paranormal activity here once. Even if there were, they’re pussies! They’d never do something like this!” Lawrence agreed, moving away to the kitchen door where he innocuously stood, looking at everyone else. 

“Don’t anger them!” Maggy cried, moving to clasp onto Huberis while he tried to pull Lo from the splits she seemed to be stuck in. 

“Oh come now, I could shout ‘Drag me down to the basement you undead cucks’ and they’d do nada!” Lawrence grinned at the Maitlands who disappeared into the kitchen behind him. They shot him furrowed brows that were undermined by their delighted smiles. Lawrence’s grin stretched out further. 

Silence filled the air, a tense pause passed as they waited to see what, if anything, would happen. “See? We’re just experiencing mass hysteria or whatever,” Lawrence nodded with finality. 

That was when the door banged open behind him and Lawrence yanked himself backwards through it. The lights shut off, and Lydia ducked back away from the guests and started up her dry ice fog that quickly made the atmosphere clammy and wet. Shrieks filled the air, there was a panicked fumbling for lights, when suddenly a spotlight clicked on the dining table. 

Atop of it stood a bloody Adam, and Barbara and now dressed up Lawrence in his black and white suit. Their skin was deathly pale, and they hovered a good few inches above the surface, posing similarly to the hung dead. 

“Oh my god, they possessed Lawrence!” Lydia called from her hiding spot. 

“What on earth do we do?” Charles added. 

“Hello esteemed guests,” Adam spoke, his head rising as he grinned at the guests before them. His smile was unnaturally wide, but his voice had an underlying cold edge to it that no one had heard before. 

“We hope you’ve had a wonderful evening!” Barbara joined him, her chipper voice now holding a manic quality to it as she stared at them bug eyed. 

“But it’s drawn to an end now,” Adam and Barbara shared a fake sad look. “Now it’s time…” 

They paused, the tension rose, and Lawrence finally lifted his head to reveal a grin filled with teeth sharper than any predator seen before. 

“To die,” the three finished in unison. 

They leapt forward, causing the guests to scatter, screaming. The walls shook and quivered, as if they were alive and breathing. The house became filled with groans and distant shrieks, striped tentacles began to emerge from the floor and grab at feet, tripping people up as they escaped to the living room. Lydia hurried after them while Charles and Delia moved to the actual front door, taking the duffel bag with them. 

In the living room, Adam shepherded the guests to the stairs by gesturing dangerously at them with the knives he pulled out, and Barbara made sure they stayed put by dragging furniture behind them, blocking their path. 

Lydia appeared on the stairs where the guests were now gathered, and she gazed down at the adults with the eyes of an executioner rather than a teenage girl. “Seems the ghosts want you to admit your wrongs,” she said. 

“I should’ve known, I should’ve known! This is a prank, isn’t it? This has gone  _ too _ far Lydia!” Ms. Kellermann stepped towards the stairs, which splintered into a wide grin and tried to take a bit out of her high heels. “Ah! Ricardo do something!” Ms. Kellermann shrieked, toppling backwards as they snapped her heels in half. 

“Me? You’re the one that ripped Delia off!” Ricardo shot back. 

“You did what?” The clients cried, Maggy now standing protectively in front of Huberis and Lo. 

“Don’t listen to him, he-he’s remembering things wrong, I-I was forced too! He made me do it! He wanted to ogle Delia more like the creep he is, so he made me keep those worthless photos around!” Ms. Kellermann pointed an accusing finger at Ricardo. 

“You wanted to strip her of her money! You lied to her about the modeling gig, and getting rid of the pictures!” 

“You’ve admitted your wrongdoings, now it’s time the ghosts make you pay for it,” Lydia interrupted the fight. 

“Just stop it you little brat, stop it!” Ms. Kellermann howled. 

Lydia began to hum, and from somewhere in the chaos of the house, the song began to play once more.  _ “You keep playing where you shouldn’t be playing, and you keep thinking that you’ll never get burnt, hah! Well, I’ve just found me a brand new box of matches, yeah. _ ” Lydia held up a lit match, and dropped it. 

Her dress caught ablaze, making the guests scream in shock. The fire flared and the teen seemed to have disappeared in a puff of smoke, and standing in her place was Lawrence once more. 

He grinned widely. “ _ These boots are made for walking, and that’s just what they’ll do. One of these days these boots are gonna walk all over you, _ ” he paused and considered the guests below with hungry eyes. “Are you ready, boots? Start walkin’!” He grinned, and the tentacles filling the hallway swirled away, where huge yellow and red eyes glimmered out instead. Sandy, fully sized, slithered into the light, her false head opening it’s giant maw to reveal her true head inside. She flashed her teeth at them, and the guests shrieked in horror. Sandy, now properly motivated, bowled towards the group at terrifying speed. 

At the last second, Barbara and Adam pulled Huberis, Maggy and Lo out of the path of the ‘boot’, leaving Ms. Kellermann and Ricardo to take the full brunt of the sandworm tackle alone. 

Sandy threw them through the hall and out the door Charles and Delia had opened behind them. Ms. Kellermann looked around dazedly from the ground, and Ricardo slowly began to push himself to his feet until Delia threw the heavy duffel bag onto his back with a loud crack. “Grace, I went ahead and destroyed those photos you said you would throw away. You’re welcome. Now, don’t ever come to my home again,” Delia flashed them a wide smile, and Charles gave them a small wave before she slammed the door shut on the shaking connivers. 

At the back door, Lydia and Lawrence saw the three frightened clients off. “A taxi has been called for you,” Lydia told them as they left. 

“Are you sure I can’t come back for  _ one  _ photo?” Lo asked, eyeing the house with a critical eye despite her drunken stumbling. 

“No,” Lawrence replied flatly. 

“T-take care of yourselves,” Huberis tried to wave goodbye. 

“Thank you for the evening,” Maggy added, ushering the other two on. 

Lydia closed the door and she and Lawrence shared an evil grin. “I think that beat last time,” Lydia said. 

“Nah, nothing beats giant me literally throwing your parents out the door,” Lawrence replied. 

“We did it!” Barbara squealed, she and Adam twirling through the near wall. 

“That was fantastic, I can’t believe you two actually gave them the fright of their lives!” Lawrence cackled. To his surprise, the two ghosts pulled him into a tight hug in their excitement. “Oh,” he could only imagine how pink his hair was now. 

“They gone?” Lydia asked Charles and Delia when the two appeared from the foyer. 

“Never to return,” Charles grinned. 

“I can’t possibly thank you guys enough. This is such a relief for me,” Delia sighed. 

Lydia moved to her side and leaned against Delia in a side hug. “It’s what family does,” she replied. 

“Exactly,” Charles agreed, squeezing Delia’s shoulder. The Maitlands nodded in agreement, and Lawrence simply shrugged, still slightly pink. 

Delia sniffled, and reaches out, dragging everyone into a crushing hug. “You’re all the best and I love you so, so much!” Tears dripped down her cheeks. 

Sandy slithered into the kitchen in her small form from  _ somewhere _ , and happily limbed onto the family’s shoulders and joined the hug. 

For a long moment, no one let go. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -kicks down door-  
> AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.  
> I DIDN’T LEARN MY LESSON, I ONCE AGAIN WROTE A CHAPTER JUST FULL OF DIFFERENT PEOPLE AND I SUFFERED. WHEN WILL I LEARN  
> THAT MY ACTIONS  
> HAVE CONSEQUENCES  
> So! Sorry this is a lil’ bit late. if there’s any mistakes and such, I’m gonna go through this again later and edit it. I literally wrote it and just posted it onto here because I can’t look at a screen anymore, HHHHHHHHH.  
> For now, have this, I’m gonna go cry in relief that I don’t have to worry about so many characters anymore on my tumblr [@daydreaming-jessi](https://daydreaming-jessi.tumblr.com/)


	32. Slasher Films and Fights

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lydia and the Maitlands find some treasure in the attic, and movie night is formed. A package arrives, and Delia gives Beej a gift, the Maitlands have a realization, and that’s just the first part of this chapter! But then we realize that Beetlejuice still has unpacked trauma.

“Did this ever look good on me?” Adam asked Barbara, who had been reading through one of the many books they’d dusted off. She looked up to see he’d pulled out a very lumpy looking apron. Sandy, who was curled around Adam’s shoulders, flicked her tongue curiously at the apron, unsure of what such a strange contraption was for. 

Barbara placed a hand over her mouth to stifle a giggle, making Adam place his fists on his hips petulantly, but there was a smile on his lips. “It was a very bold attempt to try and make an apron as your first knitting project for that class,” Barbara said slowly when she was certain her giggling had receded. 

“You knitted an  _ apron _ ?” Lydia’s voice called out from the other side of the wall of boxes they were working through. 

“I wasn’t sure what else to knit, and we were also going to a sourdough making class so an apron seemed perfect at the time,” Adam defended himself. 

Lydia carefully pulled a box out of the wall to peer through at the apron he was holding. The teen’s lips thinned, and her eyes brightened with held back laughter. “It looks put together,” Lydia said in a surprisingly even tone. 

Adam blushed bright red, quickly stuffing the apron into a box labeled ‘give’, which Sandy was  _ not _ allowed to curl up in because there were some dangerous tools resting inside the box that could hurt the poor Sandworm, even if Lawrence insisted there was no way any of their mortal instruments could pierce a Sandworm hide. Barbara smiled teasingly at her husband before turning back to her book, turning the old page with the utmost concentration. 

The Maitlands had slowly been digging through their stuff kept in the attic, deciding what to keep and what to get rid of. They were happy staying in the surprisingly spacious attic, especially when they redecorated it with Delia’s help, but they wanted to clean out the stuff collected from half tried hobbies that were only taking up space now. It’d been slow progress, but they weren’t too worried. They had all the time in the world, and it was fun pulling old stuff out and reminiscing over the memories they conjured up before saying goodbye to the item. 

“How’s it going over there?” Adam asked Lydia. 

“I found some pretty neat stuff, some old lye that I’m guessing was either for dissolving bodies or making soap, hoping it’s the bodies thing, honestly, I’m still holding out for the secret reveal that you guys are secret serial killers. Oh and uh, nothing else too special, just  _ this _ lil’ bloody gold mine!” Lydia shoved a familiar looking box out of the window she’d made. 

Barbara glanced up and gasped. “My horror movie collection!” She squealed gleefully. She got up and took the box from Lydia, moving to place it on the table  _ not _ currently covered in boxes. Lydia carefully stepped out of the disaster zone of boxes and hurried over to check out the movies with Barbara while Adam watched on fondly, scratching Sandy’s cheeks. 

“Some of this stuff is going for at least fifty bucks on eBay these days!” Lydia grinned as she looked through the films, her eyes shining excitedly. 

“My mother  _ hated _ scary movies, she forbade me from ever watching them. The only time I ever got to see them growing up was when Adam would sneak me and our friends in to watch them at the movie theater he worked at,” Barbara glanced over to him, beaming. Adam ducked his head sheepishly, but a smile still danced on his lips. 

“We should totally have a movie night and watch these, I bet Beej will love them,” Lydia lifted one of the cassette tapes up and studied it intently, looking quite thrilled. 

“That actually sounds like a lot of fun,” Adam slowly nodded. 

“It’ll be like we’re sneaking into the theaters again,” Barbara clapped her hands together excitedly. 

“And it has been a long time. I wonder if the visual effects still hold up as much as I remember?” Adam added thoughtfully. 

“I’m pretty sure Delia has a vhs player somewhere in her closet I can pull out,” Lydia headed for the door, seeming to have forgotten about the previous task of sorting through the boxes. Barbara couldn’t blame her, they’d been at it all morning. 

“Oh, is that the mail truck?” Adam was looking out the window curiously, Sandy also peering just as curiously. It was an adorable sight to Barbara. 

“Lawrence isn’t outside, is he? I don’t want another mailman scared off,” she pursed her lips worriedly. 

Adam paused, before looking back to her, “We should go make sure.” 

“Oh, before we use the stairs, do you wanna try floating through the floor like Lawrence does?” Barbara batted her eyes as she knew would strengthen her case. 

Adam pretended to take a moment to decide, but his fighting smile told Barbara that he did want to try. She reached a hand out to him, and Adam gladly took it. They stepped close together and concentrated on their forms for a moment, when electricity shot through their bodies. Sandy hissed in displeasure from the sensation, but stayed put on Adam’s shoulders, encouraging the two through the process. 

The couple sank through the floor, though slower than when Lawrence had done it, the feeling of weightlessness taking over. Barbara instinctively pulled her legs up to brace for the fall, her dress flowing out from the action, and Adam squeezed his eyes shut to brace for impact. After a moment of simply levitating down, they shared a look, and burst into giggles reminiscent of children purposefully breaking rules. 

They could see the foundation they floated through, all the beams, flooring, and insulation, and Adam couldn’t help but note that it all really needed a good dusting. Sandy somehow sneezed, proving his point, which caused Barbara to laugh even harder. 

Finally they sank through the ceiling to the first floor, where Delia was just closing the front door, mysterious package in hand. “Oh stars!” Delia yelped, leaping nearly a foot into the air when she turned around and saw the sudden appearance of the Maitlands. 

“Oh, sorry Delia! We probably should’ve said something,” Barbara winced, Adam wilting next to her. 

“I-it’s alright, I’m just more used to Lawrence doing something like that, not you two,” Delia wheezed, placing a hand over her heart. 

Sandy let out a low mumble, and slithered down from Adam’s shoulders, disappearing around the corner. “Uh, whatcha got there?” Adam asked, hurrying to move past the awkward moment. 

“Oh, a gift! It took a while to get here, but now it’s finally shown up!” Delia’s eyes sparkled brightly, giddy making her movements bouncier as she moved around the room, working on opening up the package. 

“Did Lawrence scare the mailman away?” Barbara asked, she and Adam sharing a fond look as they thought of Lawrence’s strange addiction of scaring away everyone that rang the doorbell. 

“No, I got here first. He’s still a little worn out from the dinner, I believe,” Delia replied as she worked. 

That made the Maitlands take pause. “Really?” Adam asked. 

“But he seemed fine after the whole thing with that first dinner party,” Barbara clasped her hands together. 

Delia shrugged. “He said it’s fine.” 

“And you believe him?” Adam’s voice was flat with disbelief. 

“Well, he was teaching you guys all that ghost stuff for a few days before he put on that big show, I think anyone would get tired from that. If not physically, then mentally. I haven’t seen any concerning behavior from then, and neither have you two,” Delia shot a pointed look at the two ghosts then, to their embarrassment. 

Lawrence had been spending many evenings up in the attic with them, at first going through files sent from the Netherworld, but it eventually moved onto more. It started with the two trying to pester Lawrence for more details on his father. They would get vague memories of his time as a kid, and in return Adam and Barbara would tell their own childhood memories. It would go on for hours, Lawrence telling them stories of his time on earth, and them telling him things about their lives before they had died. The couple thought Lawrence’s stories were so much more interesting, going through the Black Plague, watching history unfold before his very eyes, but for some reason, the demon seemed glued onto their words whenever they talked about their boring old stories. He would never admit it was interesting to him, but his actions betrayed his true thoughts. When Lawrence was well and truly interested in something, he’d freeze up, no twitching or looking around, he’d give it his complete, undivided attention, and that was exactly what Barbara and Adam saw when they told him stories of their life. 

Then, Lawrence began to show interest in Adam’s model, and Adam was happy to show the demon the process that went into building the town. He even enlisted Lawrence’s help with painting the models sometimes, which Lawrence was surprisingly good at thanks to his years of painting his nails. Adam would go on long winded tangents about woodworking, and Lawrence would listen frozen with those wide, interested eyes, even if he didn’t quite understand what Adam was on about. It was adorable to Barbara, she could watch the two for hours. 

Then Barbara and Lawrence realized they shared a love of music, though his was much wider and eclectic than hers, and so came out her old record player and record collection. They accidentally created a game where she’d put something on and Lawrence would guess what the song was, what time it came out, it’s genre, and so on. Adam would occasionally try, but he didn’t know quite as much about music as the long lived demon did. He much preferred watching the two sing along with the old, crackling record. 

“Well, he has seemed fine, I suppose,” Barbara admitted. 

“If he says he’s okay, then I suppose he’s okay,” Adam agreed. 

Slowly, Delia’s lips curled up into a sly smile. The couple shifted uncomfortably. “W-what?” Barbara asked, self-consciously putting a hand to her hair while Adam straightened his shirt. 

“Oh nothing! Just remembering what it was like to be young like you two,” Delia sang, sailing past them to the kitchen. She paused for a moment, though, and looked back to the two. “A little advice, though. From a woman who’s gone through a very interesting life. You two may want to evaluate your feelings, and talk it through. I know from experience that it does wonders.” Then she was gone, through the door. 

“What did she mean by that? T-there’s nothing to evaluate!” Adam spluttered. He looked over to Barbara, who was worryingly quiet. “Right, Barbara?” He asked, trying to hide his uncertainty. 

“...Oh,” Barbara looked up to Adam with wide eyes. 

“Oh? What do you mean oh?” 

Barbara bit her lip as she studied Adam’s face. There was fear in his eyes. He always did get so frightened and worried over the smallest things. She gave him a reassuring smile and clasped his hand. “Let’s finish cleaning the attic, okay?” The implications were obvious in her voice. 

Adam swallowed thickly, and squeezed Barbara’s hand. “I… are you sure?”  _ Is this okay? You can go if it’s not. I won’t judge you.  _

“Positive,” Barbara beamed.  _ I would never leave you, it’s perfectly fine.  _

“Alright,” Adam smiled, the fear lessening in his eyes. Barbara gave him a pressing kiss, and they headed up to the attic for a talk. 

It was beautiful outside. The trees were turning colors, yes, the flowers in the garden were wilting and the critters were becoming harder to spot, but summer was still hanging around, taking a few moments more to say goodbye before heading out the door. Delia took a moment to soak in the sun on the porch. 

She’d miss the warmth when it was finally gone and the promises it held, but Delia was starting to form an appreciation for the quiet of fall and winter that Lydia seemed to adore. She loved the sight of successfully growing vegetables in her hard labored garden, and hearing the way Lydia described the haunting beauty of the temporary sleep that was fall and winter helped Delia begin to see the seasons in a new way. 

“Lawrence, guess what came?” Delia sang when she returned to the present, stepping off the porch. Lawrence, who was sat examining something in the garden, shifted slightly in place, the only sign that he’d heard Delia. 

“Was it your crystal dildo?” He asked finally when Delia walked up next to him. 

She replied sarcastically, “Afraid I didn’t pay extra for one day delivery on that one. No, what came was this!” 

Something neon green was thrust into Lawrence’s face. His eyes crossed to try and see what Delia was holding, and his hair brightened into an excited peridot, despite his face schooling a neutral look. Carefully Lawrence shooed the wandering praying mantis on his hands away so he could properly take the star from Delia, gently squishing it between his fingers. 

“I rinsed it off and disinfected it, so it should be safe to use. I know you don’t exactly have to worry about germs, but I thought you might have appreciated the gesture. Though, now that I think about it, that is sort of silly, I mean you tend to eat the wrappers off of raw food and such, and I mean you-“ Delia began to ramble nervously when Lawrence didn’t say anything for a few seconds, her nerves starting to actually get the best of her. It was strange, she felt the very same anxiety when she started to worry that she was imposing on Lydia too much… 

“I thought you were joking. I… no one besides Lyds has like… actually gotten me a gift or anything…” Lawrence spoke up, cutting Delia’s nerve induced speech off. 

Delia frowned, and sat down next to Lawrence, carefully smoothing out her pants. “I wouldn’t joke about something like this. What was the gift Lydia got you?” She asked curiously. 

“Well she says I basically own a part of her nail polish collection now, and I guess... the biggest gift she ever got me was stitching my suit together. I never even said anything, but… no one ever does that kind of stuff for me. ‘S weird, all of this,” Lawrence mumbled, running his finger over the surface of the star pendant. 

“Well… this is the norm in this house. People will get you gifts and do nice things for you. And if you ever have need for something, all you have to do is ask,” Delia nodded firmly. 

Lawrence looked over to her with wide eyes, looking like he wanted to say something, but then his hair flushed pink and he quickly turned back to the star in his hands. He brought it up to his mouth, and began to gnaw on one of the corners of the stars, somewhat careful of his sharp teeth. His hair darkened once more to green, and Lawrence pulled back, looking shocked. “Holy shit, this actually works,” he breathed. 

Delia clapped her hands happily, “Yay! Now we don’t have to worry about your poor nails anymore! I thought it would help!” 

Lawrence looked over to Delia thoughtfully, and to her surprise, a smile that wasn’t tinged with any mania or sharpness, but rather a small, genuine smile graced his face. It made his eyes brighter. “Thanks, Delia.” 

Delia blinked her eyes rapidly, trying not to ruin the moment with a waterfall of tears. “I kind of thought you didn’t actually know my name,” she admitted, ducking her head to hide her wet eyes. 

“Eh, guess you could say I’m in the habit of not saying actual names,” Lawrence shrugged,looking away as the tips of his hair tinging pink again. 

“That strangely makes sense,” Delia hummed thoughtfully. Then she gave Lawrence a watery smile, and surprised him with a hug. “You are welcome, Lawrence. You’ve done lots of nice things for me, I’m happy to do the same for you.” She pressed a kiss to his forehead the same way she would to Lydia’s, and got up to head back inside. 

Lawrence stared after her, mouth agape in shock, skin tingling from where her lips had tapped them. He wasn’t sure what emotion was expanding in his heart, but it was the same one that threatened to burst his chest open any time Lydia hugged him or called him bro, or when Charles would indulge his stupid questions despite the obvious work he had to get through, or every night he spent hanging out with the Maitlands. 

Eventually Lawrence looked back to the star, his heart warm, and his throat ached, like he swallowed a golf ball and it lodged in place. What a strange sensation. What strange people. 

“Beej! Hey Beej!” 

Lawrence looked up once again, and saw Lydia waving out one of the upstairs windows to him. “I’ve been looking everywhere for you! Meet me in the den, you’re gonna love this!” Lydia yelled once she saw she had his attention. 

“Why?” Lawrence called back. 

“Just trust me, dingus! Come on,” Lydia disappeared back inside with no other explanation. 

Lawrence carefully pulled the star necklace on, and stood up, shaking grass off his pants before trudging back to the house. 

In the den, Lydia was hooking a familiar piece of machinery up to the tv, the tip of her tongue jutting out as she concentrated. “You’ll catch gnats doing that,” Lawrence said, pretending to flick at her tongue. 

Lydia quickly ducked away, yelping a high pitched “Gross!” at him. 

Lawrence grinned mischievously at her, “So what’s all this?” he asked, gesturing to the setup Lydia was messing with. 

She was all too happy to answer, “So Adam and I were sorting through the stuff in the attic, and I found a box of old horror tapes Barbara collected.” 

“Hold up, Barbara? You mean the milk toast Barbara we know liv- er, staying up in the attic has a box of horror movies she had collected for years?” Lawrence asked, jabbing a finger up to the ceiling. 

“I don’t see how that’s hard to believe considering we both know Barbara has a badass side. So anyway, you game for a horror marathon with everyone tonight?” Lydia asked, looking over to Lawrence hopefully. 

Lawrence hesitated for a moment. The idea of sitting in a room with them all, like some kind of little family, watching old horror movies, it sounded appallingly domestic. His nature despised just the mere mention of it, but deep in his heart, a desire burned, a desire that had gone for centuries untouched. 

“So long as I get to make fun of how unrealistic the body gore is. I’ve seen most of the stuff they pull in those movies, and I know for a fact that it’s always more bloody than they make it,” he finally said. 

“Deal,” Lydia grinned. 

The VHS player then whirled to life, and the tv clicked on. A familiar voice started talking, and Lydia and Lawrence stared wide eyed as a much younger looking Kevin/Otho filled the tv screen, grinning the same car salesman/cult leader smile he sported when he came to their home before. “Hello, souls yet to be enlightened. My name is Otho, and I am here to bring purpose to your life-“ 

“No! No, no, no, no, no,” Delia sprinted into the den, her eyes now wild. She slapped at the VHS player, and blue filled the tv screen as the tape was spat out. Delia ripped the tape away and basically threw at the door Charles was worriedly coming through. He quickly ducked back to escape the exploding black pieces of plastic that sprayed out from the impact. Delia gasped, covering her mouth with her hands, guilt filling her dark brown eyes. 

For a moment, silence filled the room before Lawrence placed his fists on his hips. “Whelp, I guess Danielle has finally given up the long game and is officially trying to off Chuck for the life insurance policy! Sorry Lyds, you’re gonna have  _ four _ dead parents now,” he said. 

“Cool,” Lydia nodded. 

Delia groaned, covering her face embarrassedly. Charles cautiously stepped into the den followed by a wide eyed Barbara and Adam, Sandy still somehow peacefully wrapped around Adam’s shoulders despite the previous panic. 

“What happened?” Barbara asked worriedly, looking at the shattered vhs tape on the carpet. 

“Memories I had forgotten were lying around still. But now it’s gone, and I am never subjecting myself to it again,” Delia slashed the air with her arms, trying to shove the distress out of her body. 

“Why is the vhs player in the living room?” Charles asked, studying the machine curiously as he made his way through the mess. 

“We found Barbara’s old horror movie collection, and I think we should binge watch them tonight,” Lydia explained. 

Delia froze, and looked over alarmed. “Horror movies?” She squeaked. 

“Are you actually scared by those old things? You live in a house with ghosts,” Lawrence raised an eyebrow. 

Delia rubbed her arms nervously. “I hate jump scares! They always freak me out, no matter how much I prepare for them!”

“I can tell you when to close your eyes, so you don’t have to watch the jump scares,” Barbara offered, patting the older woman’s arm. 

“Please? I miss family movie nights,” Lydia looked at them pleadingly, bringing her hands together to better beg. 

Delia groaned. “You don’t get to complain when I hide myself on Charles,” she said. 

“Deal! Dad?” Lydia looked up to him pleadingly. Charles shifted, glancing over his shoulder. 

“I have a lot of work,” he hummed. 

“Dad you’ve had a lot of work for weeks, take a break!” Lydia reached out and took Charles’ hand, shaking it pointedly. 

“You’re getting even grayer than usual, Chuck,” Lawrence agreed. 

“You won’t do work any better if you’re burned out,” Barbara said. 

“You’ll just stare at it for hours, doing nothing, and feeling guiltier and guiltier!” Adam added. 

“Somehow I’ve gained a whole team of people overly concerned with my health,” Charles said flatly. 

“That’s what families do, Charles, you’ll have to deal with it,” Delia smiled, placing a peck on Charles cheek. He heaved a heavy sigh. 

“Alright, one movie night,” he relented. 

Lydia grinned and raced over to the box, pulling movies out. “Yes! Oh which one should we watch first?” 

The adults joined her in picking out the tapes, but Lawrence hung back and watched them. He fingered the star necklace once more, Delia’s words echoing in his head. ‘ _ That’s what families do… _ ’ Lydia did that before, called them a family. Family...

Whenever he thought about family, he thought parents and their spawn. Family was disappearing parents, family was parents who were obligated to care for their unwanted kids and resented it. Family was parents who held you to impossible expectations and screamed at you for failing them. Family was parents who were never proud, because you just couldn’t be what they wanted you to be. Family was something he couldn’t have because he was a screwup of a demon that couldn’t follow a single simple rule or command, who was too needy, too human, too much. 

When had he begun to chew on the star again? 

Lawrence dropped the star back to his chest. He could see his hair was turning purple in the corner of his vision. He didn’t want to be here. But he agreed to do this for Lydia. He looked around desperately for something, anything. 

Ever observant, Lydia noticed he was freaking out. She quietly backed away from the movie picking, and went to his side. “You okay?” She asked. 

“I…. I just…” Lawrence flexed his hands and struggled to come up with something, anything smart to get himself out of this. 

Lydia’s brow furrowed, and she carefully put a hand on his arm. “C’mon.” She directed him away from the den and into the kitchen, away from prying ears. 

Sandy was laid out on the counter, but perked up when the goth and demon came in. “What’s going on?” Lydia asked again, moving to sit on the counter with the sandworm. 

Lawrence ran a hand through his hair, and grimaced. “I… I change my mind. I don’t want to watch movies tonight,” he said. 

Lydia blinked. “Okay… Why?” She prodded. 

“I just don’t, okay?” Lawrence turned away, staring at the wall, etching out the random patterns the paint made. 

“Your hair is purple. Something’s wrong,” Lydia said pointedly. 

Goddammit, why couldn’t his fucking hair stay green for once? 

“They can’t want me around,” Lawrence finally admitted. 

Lydia stared at him gobsmacked. “You’re kidding me. You’ve got to actually be joking,” she said. 

“Why would they?” Lawrence retorted. 

“God, Beej! You’ve been here for months, you help Stepmom cook almost every morning, you stay in Dad’s office with him for hours, you hang out with the Maitlands most evenings, how could you possibly think they wouldn’t want you around?” Lydia got off the counter and counted her points out on her fingers. 

“Why would they?” Lawrence repeated once more, clenching his hands. 

“Same obvious reason I do, dumbass!” Lydia threw her arms up into the air. 

“You’re a fucking weirdo, Lydia! They are normal, normal people in their normal little family thing, and I am  _ me _ ! And you know what, I don’t care! Yeah, I don’t care! Screw all that kumbaya shit, I don’t need some stupid little family, I don’t need people to care about me! I don’t do any of that love shit, I’m a demon that tears every convention apart! Fuck that noise, I’ve had to take care of myself my whole fucking existence, I can keep on doing it!” He panted, staring wildly at space. 

The air was dead quiet. That was when he noticed the way Lydia was looking at him. Her shoulders were rigid, her jaw tightly clenched, but her eyes…. It was like when she’d realized he had tricked her into exorcising Barbara. That was when Lawrence’s words caught up with him. He fucked up. 

“Lydia,” he began. 

“Fine.”

Lawrence winced at the ice cold tone Lydia’s voice took. 

“You don’t have to watch the movies,” Lydia started to leave the kitchen. 

“Lyds, wait, I didn’t...” Lawrence weakly called after her. Lydia paused, then looked back at him with actual vulnerability in her expression. 

“When I asked if it was okay to call you my brother, you could’ve just said no. I don’t need your pity,” her voice was heartbreakingly sad. Then she was gone. 

Lawrence stood there frozen, raw, exposed. “Fuck,” he whispered, voice cracking as that familiar aching sensation filled his throat. His chest ached, his breaths were getting shallow. His eyes burned. He dug the palm of his hands into them to rub the burning away. 

Sandy hissed at his side. Lawrence looked over to her, and the sandworm carefully climbed up his arm and rested around his neck. She looked pointedly at the door Lydia walked out of. 

“Fuck up even more? Ruin the night for everyone else, too? Nah. I’m not in the mood,” he looked to the back door, and for a single moment, he considered walking out. Just leaving and never coming back here. He’d never put that look in Lydia’s eyes again if he did that. He wouldn’t have to worry anymore about when they realized how much of a screw up he was and kick him out, he’d take fate back into his own hands. He could just go, like he did last time. 

Sandy tightened her coils around his shoulders in a squeeze, snapping Lawrence out of it. He’d make Lydia feel worse. For some reason or another, she wanted him around. For some reason or another, they’d go looking for him, like when he was summoned. He had nowhere else to go. And… he didn’t want to go. 

The whole staying in a house with people, doing normal life things day in and out, it was so normal and bland and maple syrup sugary sweet. But for so long, he’d been alone, unseen, invisible. For so long he didn’t have the option to do the whole normal thing. Sure he wasn’t out causing the next apocalypse and resetting the clock on earth right now, but this domestic shtick… it was a nice break. He was allowed to be more than the persona he had to put on for the rest of the world here. He was allowed to show weakness. Lawrence touched the necklace. Causing mayhem and chaos just wasn’t fun without those breathers and ghosts anymore. He wanted to hang around as long as he could, soak up all the attention and memories he could before they inevitably realized how much he screwed up all the time. 

Most of all, he couldn’t leave letting Lydia think he pitied her and considered her some weird freak. She deserved the truth and nothing but the truth, especially after all the bullshit he pulled on her. She was his bffffff, the coolest breather he’d ever met, and the only good family he had, that was that. The only question that remained was how could he show her that? 

“Time to contemplate on the roof,” he decided. Sandy hissed in displeasure. “You think she’ll accept my apology right now? Have you met her? I gotta do this right,” Lawrence started to float upwards, but Sandy slithered down and coiled her tail around his leg and hung onto the dining table. “Sandy, come on! Let go,” Lawrence tried to brush her off, but Sandy puffed up her chest, and Lawrence found himself yanked down to the floor. 

She shot him a sharp glare, and slithered over to the door, looking back to him pointedly. Oh… 

A pit opened up in Lawrence’s stomach. “Movies…” he mumbled. 

Before he could chicken out, the door open and Charles looked in. “Lawrence?” 

Lawrence froze. Oh Jesus, what was about to happen? “Hey Chuck,” he said tightly. 

“Lydia said you were taking a rain check. Are you alright?” Charles asked. 

Lawrence glanced down to Sandy. “I…” Lawrence glanced away guiltily. 

“I… won’t force you to do something you don’t want to, but I do remember you greeting with everyone else that it’s good to take a break every once in a while,” Charles slowly pointed out. 

Lawrence looked back to Charles. There was no anger, no disgust, no disappointment. Just… worry. Lawrence looked back down to his hands. His nail polish was beginning to chip. Soak in as much attention and good memories as you can, Beetlejuice. 

“You’re right. I’m coming,” Lawrence picked Sandy up. 

Charles smiled, though Lawrence wasn’t sure why. “Good. They’ve picked out some sort of alien movie, I think you’ll enjoy it,” he turned and led Lawrence to the den. 

The curtains were closed, the lights turned down, the den was only illuminated by the on the tv screen. 

Lydia was sat on the loveseat with Delia. Her eyes snapped over to Lawrence and for a moment, she looked surprised. She quickly schooled it into a neutral expression, though, and turned her attention back to the tv. 

“-is the special addition, with the original scene that shows the actors’ actual reactions to this one death scene kept in! It’s so good!” Barbara was explaining, concentrating on keeping the remote in her hands while she told Delia all this. Delia still looked pale, her hand wrapped tightly around Lydia’s, but she smiled in appreciation of Barbara’s obvious love of them film. 

Charles joined the two girls on the love seat, and Lawrence found that the only seat open was the couch Barbara and Adam were on. To the floor he would sit. 

“Oh, here Lawrence!” Adam patted the cushion between him and Barbara invitingly. Lawrence paused, and stared at the two confusedly. “You… want me sitting there, between you two,” he tried to piece together what they were trying to do here. 

“Yes,” Barbara nodded, she and Adam giving no further explanation. 

Well. Take what you can get. He could curse his weak heart later. “Alright,” Lawrence plopped down between them. Sandy slithered off tot stretch fully along the back of the couch, already closing her false eyelids. 

“I can’t wait for you to see this! It’s the first movie we watched the first summer Adam was working in the theatre! You’ll love it, I promise!” Barbara’s grin was so wide, she looked so happy. 

Adam was smiling too, but, for some reason, his eyes were red. That only happened when people cried. Why did Adam cry? Lawrence slowly pressed against Adam, hoping he could give  _ some  _ comfort to whatever ailed the ghost. Adam’s smile widened, and to Lawrence’s shock, leaned fully against him.  _ Oh _ . Now Barbara was too. He could feel their cold bodies against his, he could feel the hum of energy running underneath their forms. 

The movie was playing, but all Lawrence could think about was how close they were, how he didn’t even need to lean closer to smell them. It was so… comfy. 

Habitually, Lawrence looked over to Lydia to see if she was shooting an obnoxiously knowing look at him. Her eyes were resolutely on the screen, her hand held tightly by Delia who also had a hold of Charles’ arm, which she would duck into with a muffled yelp whenever something scary happened. Right. That sort of dampened the whole experience. 

“You okay, Lawrence?” Adam asked. 

Lawrence internally jumped, and looked over to the ghost in surprise. For a moment, a lie hung on his tongue, but then he remembered how much the two ghosts hated lies. “Later,” he said instead. Adam nodded, then did something strange. He offered his hand to Lawrence. 

Oh, that was bad, he should not do that. But… it looked so welcoming… Lawrence was a weak willed ghost, he’d never deny that. 

He took Adam’s hand, struggling not to shiver in delight at the feeling of calluses rubbed against his skin. Adam brushed his thumb along Lawrence’s, and Lawrence suddenly realized what humans meant when they said ‘died and went to heaven’. Oh. When did Barbara hug his arm? And why? She saw this movie, she didn’t get scared by it. Why was he questioning it? 

Lawrence leaned further back and soaked in the touches. Things weren’t perfect, they hardly ever were, but for now, he can just enjoy what he could get. And hey, when Lawrence looked one last time over to the loveseat, Lydia was smiling now, and whispering a few jokes to Delia about some of the cheesy lines. That was a step in the right direction. 

Once again he was reminded that Sandy was always right. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooooooo, yeah. Now the siblings had a fight... and now that needs to be resolved.  
> unfortunately, the power of love has not fixed to root of BJ’s issues. He still is struggling and needs to figure that out. But hey, beetlelands, yeah? Oh wait, Adam’s having a crisis about his sexuality, shit. Um. Alien is a fantastic movie. And Charles and Delia have Really started to get this parent thing down. Yeah. There we go.  
> You can, uh, find me on tumblr [@daydreaming-jessi](https://daydreaming-jessi.tumblr.com/)


	33. Little Talks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lydia develops photos, thinks about her life at the moment, and has a talk with Sandy and her dad.

For the next few days, Lawrence gave Lydia her space, and she avoided him right back. She could see his hair was constantly tinged blue with regret and guilt, and he kept looking her way about to say something before he cut himself off. She knew he felt bad, but she wasn’t just going to forget everything and move on. His words had stung, and part of her now wondered, was she even as important to Lawrence as he was to her? 

Lydia could see it no other way these days, Lawrence was her brother, a part of her family. They’d been through so much now, so many ups and downs now, and they helped each other through a lot of it all. But, was she really such a freak for considering him part of her family? She was used to being weird, used to not fitting in and being stared at, but the idea that Lawrence thought she was weird like everyone else she met… it made her stomach turn. She’d gotten enough of her family thinking she was a freak when she was mourning her mother, she couldn’t take any more of it. 

It still sucked not having her friend, though. Now Lydia was alone in her dark room, developing photos by herself with no demon hovering over her shoulder and bugging her. She no longer had someone to divulge gossip to when she got home from school. She didn’t have a scare buddy, and scaring people wasn’t fun without Lawrence cackling away next to her. It all just sucked in general, and she wasn’t sure what to do. 

Lydia let out a heavy sigh as she pulled a developing photo out of its chemical bath. She went down here to forget her troubles, not think about them even more. “Mom would know how to fix this,” she said to the empty dark room. She then cursed herself. “ _No_ , no more thinking like that. She can’t help anymore,” she growled, glaring at the photo developing in her hands. 

She heard a sudden trill behind her, as well as the scraping of metal, and Lydia turned to see Sandy wiggling her way through a hole in the wall of the basement, struggling to get her rotund body through. Sandy let out a disgruntled rumble, and pulled taught for a long moment before suddenly popping through and skittering down to the floor below. Her body coiled up on the floor where she landed, before she instantly popped her head up and started over to Lydia again. Lydia let the sandworm curl up on her shoulders, chuffing in satisfaction at her victory over the hole, and Lydia recoiled at the musky scent on Sandy’s breath. “Were you hunting the mice in the walls? You better not have knocked out the spider’s webs while you were at it,” Lydia hummed, shooting Sandy a reproachful look. 

Sandy grumbled in reply, snuggling closer to Lydia’s shoulder before darting a curious tongue close to the developing photo in Lydia’s hands. 

“My photography class is running a competition this October. We have to make gothic inspired photos, no photoshop allowed. This is going to be my first entry,” Lydia explained to the sandworm, moving to hang the photo up to properly dry. Sandy hissed in delight, craning her neck to better see the photo. 

“Bea sent me some sneak peaks of her choices. She actually asked _me_ for my opinion, can you believe that?” Lydia grinned goofily at the memory, and the very pleased thanks and heart emojis Bea sent her when Lydia told her the photo she thought was best. “Seems only fair I show her my choice when it’s ready, doesn’t it?” Lydia asked, crossing her arms as she watched her work further develop. Sandy rumbled what Lydia assumed was an agreement. 

Lydia scratched the side of Sandy’s neck, making the sandworm purr in delight. “Bea wants to go get more pictures after school tomorrow. I should bring my favorite camera. No offense to the school ones, but they don’t exactly get as good of a shot as mine,” Lydia continued, moving to check out her other chemical baths and see how the photos were developing in them. 

Sandy chirruped curiously, crawling off Lydia’s shoulders to the counter where she carefully maneuvered the clutter until she came upon the camera Lydia spoke of. She sniffed the device carefully, the familiar wave of care and love rolling off the device hitting her tongue instantly. “Don’t lick it,” Lydia warned, tapping the top of Sandy’s head. 

The sandworm shot Lydia a curious look, tapping the camera with the end of her tail in lieu of a question. Lydia smiled, and took the camera, turning it over to show Sandy the engraving on the metal lining on the side. L.D.

“This was a gift from my mom. The last Solstice we had together before she got sick, she gave it to me. You would’ve liked her, Sandy. She was just as all knowing as you,” Lydia chuckled as she rubbed Sandy’s head. 

Sandy hummed, pleased at seeing her distracting Lydia from her thoughts was ultimately successful. The sadness radiating from the dark room moments before had been unacceptable, but now it was gone. She wasn’t sure how she’d get her kids to stop fighting, but at least she knew how to cheer them up when they couldn’t cheer each other up at the moment. 

Lydia took one last look at her work space, seeing if anything else needed to be done before nodding in satisfaction. “I think that’s good enough for tonight. The photo should be done by tomorrow, and I can show Bea. I hope she’ll like it, her stuff is pretty much professional at this point,” she crossed her arms self consciously as she thought of what Bea might say tomorrow. Sandy chirped as she moved onto Lydia’s shoulders once more, making the teen smile again. “She probably will, it’s a pretty sick picture,” she agreed. Lydia grabbed her camera and left the basement, leaving her do not disturb sign on, in case someone thought to go in to clean and disturb her entire development process. 

When she opened the door to the kitchen, Lydia found her father sorting through the mail. There was a strange expression on his face, he didn’t seem to really see the mail he was looking through. “Dad?” she slowly asked worriedly. 

Charles jumped, and looked over to Lydia in surprise. “Oh, Lydia! Er, how long have you been there?” He awkwardly set the mail down on the counter. 

Lydia eyed him strangely. “I just walked up here, from my dark room,” she pointed to the door she had just opened. Sandy whistled curiously, slipping off Lydia’s shoulders to roam the cupboards above. 

“Oh,” Charles deflated. 

“Dad, are you okay?” Lydia stepped closer to her father, looking him over in case he was hurt. 

“I’m fine, everything is fine,” Charles automatically replied, and even he cringed at how robotic his response was. 

“Dad.” 

Sandy hissed at Charles pointedly from her perch above. Charles sighed and sat down heavily in one of the kitchen chairs. “I noticed that the leaves here change color slower than in New York,” he began, looking out the window. Lydia checked as well, noting the maples outside were now fully orange, yellow and red. 

“Not as many trees back there as there are here,” Lydia agreed. 

“Seems all I do these past few days is notice how different things are,” Charles’ voice was wistful now. 

Lydia looked over to him curiously. “Are you getting homesick or something?” 

The corner of his bearded lips quirked at that. “It may just be that,” he admitted. Lydia sat down and crossed her arms before giving him an expectant look. Charles took the hint and began to further explain, “I suppose I’m only just letting it hit me how different life is now. As I drove up here, I realized I was expecting the house to be covered in decorations, and seeing it bare… it hit me that I’ll never see our old house gussied up by you and Emily again. It’s silly, it’s going to be two years since she passed soon, and yet I still have moments where I have to remember she’s really gone, and this is our home now. It’s… a lot. It’s all still a lot.” 

Lydia frowned, and reached out to squeeze her father’s hand. “It is kind of weird. I missed not having a haunted house this summer. We... _could_ decorate the house ourselves, start up the tradition again now that we’re not moving in anymore,” she offered. 

Charles smiled faintly and squeezed her hand back. “Maybe we should. It may not be the same, but it’s too strange to see the house bare this October,” he agreed. 

Lydia grinned, nodding, “We’ll make Dead Mom proud. She’d say we’re being lazy not getting everything up already.” 

“She never had any patience. I remember her waking you up at three in the morning to get the decorations up before,” Charles laughed. 

“It was the witching hour, we had to get it up before the witches strung us up by our toes Halloween night,” Lydia replied. 

“That’s right! You slept with us for weeks when she told you that story. I was so mad at her for that, I made her promise she wouldn’t scare you like that ever again.” 

“But then next October, I wanted to get a bunch of frogs and newts to leave out for the witches.” 

Charles laughed even harder before wiping away the tears of mirth that sprouted in the corners of his eyes. “Now here we are living with ghosts, demons and extra terrestrial worms. Emily would be livid that she missed it all,” he noted, looking up to the cupboard where Sandy watched them. 

“She’d love it all,” Lydia agreed. 

Charles noticed the camera Lydia was holding and his smile became more fond. “She was so excited to give you that, I had to remind her constantly to wait for the actual night of Solstice. No patience,” he gestured to it. Lydia’s fingers tightened their hold on the camera. 

“I miss her,” she admitted. Charles squeezed her shoulder. 

“I do too.” He looked up then, and his smile became a more worried frown. “Is… that why you’ve been withdrawn the past few days?” He asked. 

Lydia looked up in surprise, and felt a flash of guilt in her stomach when she realized she only started thinking about her mother now. “N...no,” she looked to the camera dispiritedly. 

“Well, what’s wrong then?” Charles urged further. 

“It’s stupid,” Lydia refused to look up. What kind of daughter forgets her mother like that? 

“Lydia, I want to know.” 

Lydia sat silently for a moment longer until she finally caved in. “Beej and I had a fight,” she finally admitted. 

Charles paused, his eyes widening. “Oh.” 

Lydia nodded. “Yup.” 

Charles looked like a fish out of water now. “I...I’m not sure how to go about this,” he admitted. 

“You’re doing good, Dad,” Lydia reassured him, the corners of her lips rising up an inch. 

“You know it’s strange seeing how you two act sometimes. Your mother and I never really were sure about having more kids, yet here you are already making a demon your sibling,” he huffed with a sad smile. 

“You think Mom would’ve been cool with that?” Lydia cocked her head. 

“Oh she would’ve adopted that boy the instant she saw how scared he was of that Juno woman. It would only be a bonus that he also happens to be a demon thing. She hated seeing people be scared, it’s why she worked so hard to teach you how to be fearless,” Charles smiled fondly. Lydia felt warmth blossom in her heart at that. “Well, what did you two fight about?” He continued. 

Lydia paused, running a careful finger over the camera. “When we had that movie night, he started to freak out, so I tried to calm him down. Then he began to say that you guys couldn’t want him around again, and I tried to get him to realize that’s completely wrong and stupid, when he just went off. He said he… doesn’t want a family and... I _thought_ he was cool with me thinking he’s my brother, but now… now I think he was just pitying me,” she let her hands rest listlessly against the table. 

Charles frowned, and looked down as he considered his words. “I don’t think Lawrence pities you. And, I don’t know as much about his past as you do, but from what I _have_ gathered, Lawrence’s past, his childhood especially, wasn’t an enjoyable experience. The only reference Lawrence has for family is Juno. It’s possible that he thinks that family is abusive, and that’s it. He may be starting to see that’s not necessarily the case, because of us, but it takes people a long time to heal. Recovery isn’t a straight line to walk. We all will slip and fall as we heal, and lash out against those we care about when we don’t mean it.” 

Lydia wasn’t sure how to feel upon realizing how much she could relate to her father’s words. 

“Of course, I could be wrong about all that, I’m not Lawrence. But! Anyone can see he thinks the world of you, Lydia. You two are thick as thieves, and will probably remain so for the rest of time. I _know_ he’ll tell you the same when he’s ready. Just... give him time,” Charles rubbed Lydia’s arm reassuringly. 

“It sucks to wait, though,” Lydia sighed. 

“It does. In the meantime, how about we decorate the house?” 

Lydia looked up to her father, and nodded. “Yeah. That sounds good.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hhhhhh I hate making Lydia sad, she’s my lil goth daughter!!! How could I?!?! I am a monster ;n;  
> But hey, she’s got her dad still. I do love writing a Charles that learned to let out himself stop and feel. I hate it when people forget to keep on trucking with character arcs, they’re an ongoing process that never really stop!  
> Hhhhhhh, one of my least favorite yet most favorite chapter is coming up, oh boy....  
> You can find me on tumblr [@daydreaming-jessi](https://daydreaming-jessi.tumblr.com/)


	34. Horse Jockey on Ice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the Netherworld, the department of Customs and Processing gets through yet another shift of processing newlydeads through to the Netherworld. Venetia is bored, and looking for something, anything, to happen now that Beetlejuice is gone. But she may have gotten in over her head.

“This way. Follow me. Hurry up, hurry up, there is no dilly-dallying in the Netherworld, no rest for the dead.” 

“If you don’t have a ‘Handbook for the Newly Deceased’, you will be provided with a new copy. This will be your only replacement, though, so try not to lose this one, people.” 

Venetia watched from the safety of Reese’s office doorway as the next queue of newlydeads shuffled through the life detector with an ordering Maria and Orson behind them. “Dilly-dally? Seems Tina’s been spending too much time around Shyanne,” Doug snickered behind her. 

“Seriously, when will those two stop beating the bush and just start dating?” Carl sighed, playing with the strings of Keech’s parachute. It was rare to see him without his teammates, but the other two were currently outside on duty, in case any newlydead tried to make a break for it. 

“When you four stop lazing about, probably,” Reese groused from his desk, chewing grumpily on his cigar as one hand clutched at his burnt hair and the other held a few papers up to examine. 

“Aw what’s the matter, Gramps? Malfunctioning fan still ticking you off?” Doug asked with a grin. 

Reese glared thunderously at the ancient device balanced precariously on a stack of papers flooding his desk. “You’d think that when you died, you’d stop feeling sensations in general, and yet here I am still as hot as the moment I burnt to a crisp…” 

“Yeah, seriously. I still have a headache from that concussion I had before I died,” Carl spoke up sympathetically. 

“I’m still dripping blood everywhere,” Keech sighed, putting a glove to one of the various cuts littering his bruised face. 

Venetia finally looked away from the proceedings outside with a groan. “Are we all going to start bemoaning our miserable existence again? We just got through that an hour ago.” 

“Well what else can we do? Watch a bunch of newbies freak out and beg Tina for a second chance at life?” Keech retorted, gesturing to the spectacle starting up outside the office door. 

“You could try working,” Reese grumbled. 

“I’ve done all I can today. ‘Til I get a shipment of new junk to work with, I’m just a sittin’ duck,” Doug defended himself. 

“I’m on break,” Carl mumbled, looking down guiltily. Keech patted him reassuringly, whispering that Reese was only being a grumpy old fart. 

“You’re the only one with interesting paperwork, Reese,” Venetia moved away from the gaggle of boys to take a closer look at the mess littering Reese’s desk. 

“Keeping track of all this paperwork is a nightmare and a headache, kid, it’s no dream job,” Reese snorted. 

“Still better than trying to sort the filing cabinets,” Keech kicked the nearest cabinet next to him, one of dozens cluttering the office they all currently resided in. 

“Seriously, there’s thousands of them here. Why do we even need all this? We’re dead, who cares about this junk?” Venetia gestured to the mess with her riding crop fruitlessly. 

“Beetlejuice cares,” Carl hummed. Venetia stuck her tongue out at him, but had to admit he had a point. 

“Juno also cares, for some reason,” Doug added. 

“Juno cares about stupid stuff that makes no sense,” Venetia scowled, tapping her crop on her other hand. 

“Juno also could be around any corner, so you shouldn’t be speaking like that, unless you want her to punish you,” Maria cut in as she and Orson walked into the office. She eyed the three lounging boys, but decided not to say anything as she moved over to Reese’s desk and handed him the forms of the newlydeads that had filtered through. Reese grimaced at the new addition of paperwork and set it to the side, where it instantly became unrecognizable in the disordered mess. 

Venetia pouted, tapping her thigh with her riding crop. “This sucks. I wish Juiceman was back,” she said simply. 

“Yeah, it was a lot more fun crawling through the ventilation system with him cracking jokes to distract me from all the creepy crawlers moving around me,” Doug sighed, standing up and draping himself over Orson’s side. Orson shot the other man a scowl for rumpling his suit, and tried to readjust his tie one handed. 

“We wish for a lot of things here. We just have to grit our teeth and keep going forward,” Maria placed her hands on her hips as she looked everyone over. No one argued with her, but she could see in the younger worker’s downcast eyes that she had not succeeded in lifting the mood. It was getting harder and harder to keep everyone going, especially when she herself was starting to feel just as hopeless. 

A distant bell rang, it’s chime ringing hauntingly through the empty air. Everyone heaved a sigh of relief, even the walls themselves started to sag, grateful for the sound. “Break time, be ready to get back to it in fifteen, no arguing or whining,” Juno’s wheezing voice crackled through the walls similarly to an intercom. 

“Does she have to say that  _ every  _ time? We’re dead, not brainless zombies,” Orson scowled at the ceiling, as if the old woman lurked above them. 

“How else will she get her daily dose of micromanagement?” Keech looked up unimpressed as well. 

“Coffee time!” Venetia leapt away further into the office, disappearing down a hallway littered further with papers and filing cabinets. The boys were quick to follow her, leaving Reese and Maria last as they walked at a more calm pace. 

Venetia raced into the break room, something none of them knew existed until Beetlejuice came in with his ever expansive knowledge of the Netherworld. Inside the break room, Shyanne was already at the coffee pot, carefully measuring out the water to go in while her soggy toaster lay on the countertop next to her elbow. 

“Any interesting calls?” Venetia asked, hopping onto the counter, swinging her legs back and forth. 

Shyanne swatted at Venetia’s boots clanging on the cabinet doors below her. “Just more calls to link through to other departments,” she said with a bored hum, pouring the water into the brewer. 

Venetia let out a dramatic groan, letting her helmeted head bang back against the hanging cabinets behind her. “I’m losing it, I’m losing my mind to all this monotony, Shyanne.” 

The older woman patted Venetia’s knee sympathetically. “I’m sure you’ll find some trouble to brighten the day soon enough.” 

Venetia couldn’t help but envy Shyanne’s seemingly never ending supply of optimism. It seemed like everything in the Netherworld was stale and never changing, even the coffee, as much as they tried to brew it to perfection. They were right about death being invariable. 

Heavy footsteps clomped down the hallway, and the three boys tumbled into the kitchen, followed by a bewildered shrunken headed Harry who carefully stepped over the pile of tangled limbs and parachute. “Juno told you guys not to run in the halls,” Shyanne scolded the three. 

“Juno is chugging bourbon in her office, she don’t care about anything right now,” Doug’s muffled voice leaked out beneath Carl, Orson and Keech. Venetia laughed at the three as they struggled to untangle themselves, and Shyanne simply rolled her eyes fondly. 

More footsteps approached, and two more football players appeared in the doorway. “Yo, bean juice ready?” Don asked, moving forward and knocking the three tangled boys down like bowling pins as he moved into the kitchen. 

“Watch it man!” Keech yelped, the four glaring up at Don. 

The other player, Vinny, helped them all up to their feet, taking time to brush Carl’s uniform off, who huffed at the older player to stop babying him. Vinny simply clattered his exposed jaw back. 

“Don,” Shyanne shot the football player a pointed look, but he simply grabbed out one of the least chipped coffee mugs and looked at the coffee pot as if it would magically fill up his mug. Shyanne shook her head and went back to prepping the machine, while the men around began to chatter about what semi interesting things happened to them today. 

Venetia looked around, and felt a moment of content. Even if life sucked, even if the days were blurring together, even if she was once again starting to count down the number of hours she still had left to volunteer until she could finally move onto the void herself, these moments of hanging out with everyone were still beacons of light in these dark times. Where was Maria and Reese, though? 

Curious, Venetia pushed herself off the counter and wove out of the breakroom, unnoticed. The hall was devoid of life, only the chatter of the breakroom broke up the silence permeating the dark void stretching before her. Venetia pursed her lips, and started to make her way back to Reese’s office where the two older workers had been to see what was keeping them. 

As she travelled further down the hall, Venetia began to realize there was a chill in the air. Somehow she could feel it, colder than her long dead body had ever felt before. The smell of the ocean filled her nostrils, rather than the strange stale, ozone scented air that permeated the Netherworld. Venetia shuddered and crossed her arms, slowing down and starting to move more quietly, dread starting to fill her stomach. She… didn’t recognize this hallway. Wasn’t she heading for Reese’s office? How did she get here? 

She heard voices, two of them, speaking. She realized she recognized the grating voice of Juno, but that other voice… she never heard it before. Who was that? Venetia slowed to halt as she reoriented herself. Somehow, she had no idea how it was even possible, she had gone from the break room all the way to Juno’s office, which seemed to be holding some sort of secret meeting. 

Her sense of self preservation was telling her to go back, find Maria and Reese, join everyone else and forget this all ever happened with a stale tasting cup of coffee. Her senses had never been very adventurous, though. Venetia snuck forward to Juno’s office door, resting her ear close to the lock, listening closely. 

“-it quick, Hamstein. I have work to do, still.” 

“I won’t take up your time, Juno, I promise. But I have some information that I think you’ll be very interested to hear,” Hamstein, the stranger Venetia gathered, purred. Venetia couldn’t help but shudder at the tone of his voice. She very much doubted Juno could ever let herself fall into danger, but if it were anyone else hanging around this Hamstein guy, Venetia would be concerned for them. 

“Well spit it out already,” Juno’s voice was harshly impatient, like screeching metal. 

“I know you don’t want anyone to get into your business, you’re a private person like that, but I also know that this problem you’ve been dealing with ever since you got back has been a real pain in the ass for  _ everyone _ , excuse my language,” Hamstein continued. Venetia saw a shadow travel across under the door, and could hear the clicking of heels on fancy shoes as Hamstein walked around the room. 

“Not two seconds in, and you’re already on thin ice, Hamstein,” Juno growled. 

“Now, now, no need to lash out! I only want to assist you, Juno. Old habits die hard, you know, I’ve spent a long time assisting people.” 

“You’ve already been promoted up from being a caseworker, drop the act. What is it you’re getting at exactly? My patience is wearing thin.” 

Venetia couldn’t help but wonder what patience Juno could possibly have that was wearing thin. 

“Alright, straight to the point, as you like. I know where Beetlejuice is.” 

The silence that filled the office chilled Venetia to the bone as she stared confounded at the door. How? How did this Hamstein guy find Beetlejuice? Beetlejuice seemed so capable, how could he ever be tracked down by some typical ghost? Then again, Juno said he’d been promoted from a caseworker. Only the meanest, oldest souls in the Netherworld get promoted. Venetia felt her chest clench with fear, and her breath stuttered. Just who exactly were they dealing with? 

“I’m giving you five seconds to explain yourself, explain why exactly you got into this  _ behind my back _ and-“ 

Venetia easily recognized Juno whipping herself into a fury. She’s heard it herself several times before. 

“The incident, Juno. The board of directors are not impressed that you allowed yourself to be taken out by Beetlejuice. They are growing impatient with how long the search for him is taking. They want him to be brought to justice  _ now _ . You know how they get when someone breaks the rules,” Hamstein explained hurriedly. Even he seemed afraid of a furious Juno. Maybe he did have some sense after all. 

“Beetlejuice is  _ my _ problem to take care of. You can tell the board of directors that I have it under control, and they can focus on  _ their own  _ departments,” Juno hissed. Venetia never heard her sound so angry before, but there was something else… something like  _ fear  _ hidden under the anger in Juno’s voice. Venetia’s thoughts spiraled with that idea. What could  _ Juno _ ever be afraid of? It couldn’t be that she was scared for herself, everyone knew Juno was set for eternity in every way. So, if not for herself, then who? Was she… afraid for Beetlejuice? She always seemed so hard on him, though… 

“I know Juno, I do! They’re just… concerned. It doesn’t look good on the board if one of their directors gets taken down by one measly stranger. If word gets out, people get ideas… And it will look downright unprofessional of us if they find out just how many times Beetlejuice has been given second chances, and compared to everyone else? It becomes suspicious.” Hamstein lowered his voice, “How many times has he broken the rules, Juno? How many times have you had to fish that thing out of the board’s warpath? How many times has he repaid your kindness with another mess to clean up? What kind of son does that to his own mother?” 

Silence fell once more upon the office. Somehow Venetia heard the creaking of a seat through the ringing going off in her ears now. 

“What exactly are you proposing, Hamstien?” Juno’s voice was calm now, the same calm that occurred before and after a storm tore through. Though whether that storm had passed already or not, Venetia wasn’t sure. 

“I wish to offer you my aid, Juno. I have connections that can assist in bringing him back here, where he can be properly punished, any unrest in the Netherworld can be put to bed, and the board of directors stops breathing down your neck.” 

“And what’s in it for you, exactly?” 

“Perhaps... a favor. Somewhere in the future, no questions asked, just like I’m doing for you now.” 

Venetia heard the click of the lighter, the wheezing inhale and burning of a cigarette as Juno started it. “What are these connections, exactly?” 

“Mara. She owes me one. We both know she’s the best in the business.” 

“...If this really does happen, it stays here. I’ll be in even deeper shit if the board finds out I did this off the record.” 

“Of course, ma’am. Won’t breathe a word to any other soul.” 

Slowly Venetia stood up, and began to back away. She had to warn Beetlejuice. She had to tell everyone the truth about this. Juno had cursed her own son, kicked him out of the Netherworld to be alone for eternity and to be torn apart by the monsters that lurked in the living world, and for what? For treating death like it wasn’t some sort of corporation to keep in check? For a few  _ pranks _ ? Venetia wouldn’t just stand aside and let this go on. She wouldn’t stand for Juno’s shit anymore. She had to be brave. Like Beeltejuice was when he fed his abusive mother to a sandworm. 

Unfortunately, Venetia wasn’t paying attention to the floor behind her as she stepped away, and didn’t see the rumpled rug her foot caught on, leaving her toppling backwards with an inhaled gasp. Heavy silence pressed on her ears as Venetia scrambled up to her feet. They didn’t hear her, they  _ didn’t _ hear her. Just keep going, go, go! 

Venetia turned to run, and an ice cold hand clamped around her arm. It dug into an old bruise, where the thoroughbred that had trampled her snapped the bone in half, and Venetia cried out in pain before lashing out blindly, trying to yank her arm out of the grip as her fist beat against the grabber’s body. “Seems we have a little eavesdropper sneaking around where she shouldn’t be,” that ice cold voice purred, freezing Venetia in place as her eyes snapped open in fright. 

Venetia looked back panickedly, seeing just who Hamstein was. She recognized him, he was one of the crueler caseworkers the newlydeads had to work with. It was no wonder he’d been promoted, he fit right in with the sneering board of directors. Venetia glared daggers at him, then noticed the jagged seam running along his neck. She took a deep breath, and stilled, waiting for the exact right moment. 

He turned his head to talk to Juno, currently standing in her office door, eyes nearly on fire with how much fury they held. “No worries, we’ll just keep her out of the picture, just until we get Beetleju-“

Venetia’s riding crop connected with his jaw and Hamstein’s head spun off his body, cracking against the wall. His body staggered back and Venetia raced away, her riding boots pounding down the carpet as she ran. 

“You idiot, you let her go! Agh! You get back here, jockey! That’s an order!” Juno screamed after Venetia. 

Venetia turned a corner and kept running, her breath coming out in quick gasps instinctively as she went. She just had to get back to the others, she just had to reach them, then she’d be safe. They’d figure out what to do, they’d warn Beetlejuice, and everything would work out, she just had to keep running. 

When did the floor get icy?

Venetia slipped on the ground and crashed into the wall. Her vision swam before her, and she could feel ice creeping over her body, pinning her to the ground. “Help,” she croaked out, hoping against hope that someone, anyone, would come swooping in and saving her. It was happening all over again. She was getting so cold, she couldn’t properly see, her senses were fading, all that was missing was a rampaging horse and panicked yelling as people around her scrambled to stabilize her. 

Instead, she heard those damn fancy heels clicking across the ice, the dark pinstriped covered legs appearing in her vision, as their owner crouched down to her level. Hamstein now sported an oozing head wound and black eye that left her feeling proud in her last few moments of consciousness. He cracked his neck as his head resettled into place, his piercing eyes hard as ice as he stared down at Venetia. 

Over his shoulder, Venetia saw a familiar pepper and salt updo. She gathered her sense together for one last appeal, and forced her tongue to move, even if it felt too big in her mouth. 

“He’s yo’r son. Yo’re s’posed to protec’ ‘im,” she slurred out. A fruitless effort to appeal to Juno’s morals, she knows. But it was better than just passing out. 

A tense silence filled the air, Hamstein glanced back, unsure. Then, Juno growled out, “This had nothing to do with you until you stuck your nose in my business, jockey. Hamstein, take care of this.” 

A sneering smile overtook Hamstein’s face, further splitting his sliced open lips. “Yes, ma’am,” he agreed, reaching forward. 

The last thought Venetia had was a delirious apology to everyone else for not joining them for coffee one last time. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is that... even more serious plot?? In my slice of life/found family fic??? Who do I think I am, a writer with a story containing plot points and climaxes and so on??  
> This is not the chapter I’m dreading, no, but it’s not a good one either I hated doing that to poor Vee :(((  
> You can find me on tumblr [@daydreaming-jessi](https://daydreaming-jessi.tumblr.com/)


	35. What Happened?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beej and the Maitlands talk, and suddenly Lydia is back from school...

Lawrence awoke with a start. He didn’t quite remember what his dream was, but he distinctly remembered feeling like he was in danger. He rubbed his eyes tiredly, trying to dispel the fog still on his mind. Why was he in danger? Did something bad happen? Did he do something wrong? Break another rule? 

No luck. He just couldn’t remember why he felt afraid. With a sigh, Lawrence gave up. The sky was just barely turning gray. The earth was slowly rotating on, bringing their side of it to face the sun once more. He wouldn’t be going back to sleep any time now, so he may as well get up. 

He got dressed, made sure his hair wouldn’t reveal the unease he was currently feeling, and finally headed downstairs, where Lawrence found Charles and the Maitlands working out a shopping list. “You guys working on a nerd list?” He asked, sliding into the seat with Adam, despite the fact that the chair was not built for such an act. Adam carefully readjusted in the chair so he wouldn’t immediately pop off, despite the fact that he was an incorporeal being, and shot Lawrence an annoyed look that failed to hide the fondness in his eyes. 

“What does a nerd list even entail exactly?” Charles asked, a corner of his lip lifting up in an amused smile, though he didn’t look up and instead focused on finishing writing out a small reminder for himself on the list. 

“Hm. Yup, it’s exactly what you’ve got written down. Nerds,” Lawrence declared. 

“Who’s the real nerd, the nerds or the one who hangs out with the nerds?” Barbara asked with a teasing smirk. Adam snorted, and called Barbara a geek which made her stick her tongue out at him. He retaliated by pecking the tip of her nose, and that was when Lawrence looked away, shoving the heart shuddering longing to join in that sprouted up upon seeing the two act so vomit-inducingly cute. The ache lessened a bit when Adam leaned back and more into Lawrence’s side, making the demon’s pasted on smile feel a bit more genuine. 

Familiar footsteps clomped into the kitchen and Lydia emerged, eyes squeezed shut to the light starting to soak into the world. “Ah, the face of regret,” Adam hummed, grinning at the teen who grumbled nonsense back at him. 

“I’m gonna guess you learned your lesson and aren’t going to stay up until three in the morning on a school night ever again?” Barbara asked, resting her head in her hand. 

“Three in the- Lydia I told you we weren’t going to do that this October,” Charles’ eyes widened as he finally looked up from the list he was writing. 

“It’s tradition,” Lydia huffed, slowly pulling her bag onto her back. 

“Well it may be a blessing in disguise then that I want to drive you to school today,” Charles sighed, shaking his head. 

“I can ride my bike still!” Lydia began to protest, but Charles held his hand up. 

“There’s some sort of festival going on downtown, and traffic is already going crazy today. Let me drive you today so we all don’t worry about you getting run over by crazy people, for peace of mind?” He asked. 

Lydia groaned, but quickly gave up her put upon teenager charade and shrugged. “Yeah okay. I’ll take the free fifteen minute nap.” 

“Thank you,” Charles smiled in relief, before getting up and tearing the list off the notepad. “Anything else anyone wants from the store? Delia won’t be home until near dinner time, so the opportunity to tell me is only now,” Charles looked around to everyone. 

“The paints and curtain rods will be enough. Thank you Charles,” Barbara shot the older man a grateful look and Charles nodded. 

“Of course. Lawrence, Lydia do you two need anything?” He continued, pulling his suit jacket on. 

“I’m ok,” Lydia hummed, pulling her camera on. 

“You’re taking your camera with you?” Lawrence asked before he could think. 

Lydia nodded rather than shoot Lawrence an icy look as he was fearing she’d do, to his relief. “Bea and I are going to get some photos for an assignment after school, and mine is better than the ones at school.” 

“Sounds fun,” Lawrence tried to say lightly, struggling hiding his disappointment that she didn’t tell him this before. 

Lydia hummed absentmindedly as she adjusted her camera, moving to follow Charles as the two got ready to head out. 

Adam and Barbara looked between the teen and demon for a moment, concern furrowing their brows once more as they noticed, yet again, that something seemed to be wrong between Lydia and Lawrence. 

“See you guys later,” Lydia called as she headed out the door. 

“Have a good day,” Charles added. The three paranormal beings called out their goodbyes, though Lawrence’s was a bit flat. Then the door shut, and the house was empty of life. 

“Um, Lawrence-“ Barbara tentatively began. 

But then Lawrence stood up, determination in his eyes. “Hold that thought for a sec, Babs,” he said before disappearing. 

Outside, Lydia waited before the car door as Charles unlocked them, fingering her camera contemplatively, when she noticed her father stiffened. She looked up, and saw what made him pause. Lawrence was currently on the roof of the house, balanced precariously on the chimney. “Lawrence, what are you doing on the roof?” Charles asked, his worried dad voice leaking through. 

Lawrence leaned back nonchalantly, cocking his head and grinning. “Aw Chuck, you worried about me? Relax, I’m dead! If I fall off, I’ll just walk it off. Lyds can attest to that,” Lawrence shot a finger gun to the goth teen. 

“He’s right. Pushed him off the roof back when we first met and not a few days later he was lurking in the dining room ready to cause trouble,” Lydia hummed in agreement. 

Charles pressed his fingers to his temple, sighing something about his kids shortening his lifespan before setting his briefcase into the car. “Just try to be careful. Don’t let the neighbors call the fire department on you. See you later.” 

For a long moment, Lydia and Lawrence eyed each other, silently. Then, awkwardly, in a familiar move, Lawrence lifted his arm and waved goodbye at Lydia. She stared, before letting her head lower with a heavy sigh. Lawrence faltered. But then she looked up with a small smile and a slight wave, before she got into the car. 

After days of tension and feeling like garbage, Lawrence felt a spark of normalcy return as he teleported back inside. 

The Maitlands had moved into the living room with Sandy during his excursion. When Lawrence reappeared, both ghosts looked up to him in surprise and hesitant concern. Sandy let out a small trill of a greeting to the demon, and he instinctively ran a hand over her head, the sandworm eagerly pressing her head into the strokes. 

“So. What’s up?” He asked, avoiding eye contact with the ghost couple and only focusing on Sandy. 

“I think it should be us asking you that. Is everything okay?” Adam asked, moving to Lawrence’s side. 

The demon shifted uncomfortably. “It’s fi-“ 

“That wasn’t the right question. What Adam means is, we’ve noticed you and Lydia haven’t been okay. What happened?” Barbara cut in. 

Lawrence sighed. They weren’t going to give this up, were they? It was just the three of them in the house today, and Lawrence knew the two ghosts would just continuously worry about him. He might as well tell them, even if they stopped seeing him as a friend and as a grade-A ass. 

“I ran my mouth off, and hurt Lyds because of it,” he finally said. Admitting it out loud made it seem all the worse. 

“What did you say that hurt Lydia?” Adam asked after a moment of thought. 

Lawrence felt his shoulder tense up. He grabbed his star, squishing it between his hands. Then he told them the story. Once it was over, the room was silent. Lawrence could only wait for the Maitlands to calm their rage down long enough to call him a despicable jerk. 

Then Barbara spoke. “It’s obvious you feel bad. What I’m not sure about is what’s stopping you from saying sorry to Lydia,” 

Lawrence paused. Where… was the anger? He hurt Lydia. Shouldn’t they be furious at him? He slowly shrugged. “I.., I don’t… I dunno… how. I don’t know how to show Lyds’ I didn’t mean what I said,” Lawrence sighed, moving the star to his mouth and began to absentmindedly chew a corner. Barbara and Adam looked at him as if he was being silly and wasn’t seeing the answer on purpose. 

“You just tell her that, Lawrence. You don’t need to perform some big grand gesture to show you feel bad. You just say you’re sorry,” Adam said. 

Lawrence stared at the two of them for a moment. “But… whenever I passed off Mom...“ he began. 

“Lawrence, I don’t want to offend anyone, but your mother is an awful person. You can’t base your experiences with her with normal people,” Barbara joined Lawrence and Adam and squeezed Lawrence’s arm. 

“I… um… oh. I… I guess you may have a point,” Lawrence slowly realized as he thought it over. 

“What an apology needs is for you to know what you did wrong, for you to know how you hurt the other person. You admit your wrongs and apologize for your behavior and work to do better. That’s why Barbara and I forgave you,” Adam explained, giving the demon a smile. 

Lawrence looked down. “I guess I was overthinking this,” he begrudged. 

“Yeah, you were,” Barbara nodded, hugging his arm. 

“I want to ask about something else. You… you said we ‘can’t’ want you around,” Adam slowly began. 

Lawrence winced. Oh, they were really going to get into it  _ all _ today. 

“You know we like you, right? That we enjoy having you around?” Barbara asked, looking at Lawrence with her sad eyes that made him want to vomit rainbows and sparkles. 

“You’re our friend. Of course we want you around,” Adam agreed. 

Lawrence looked down to the hardwood floors. He wasn’t sure what to feel. How to explain himself. Part of him was just screaming at him to not believe them. Why would they want him around? Why were they friends? It was hard not to listen to it, when that voice had been proven right so many times before. 

At his continued silence, Barbara and Adam exchanged a worried look, before deciding their next course of action. “Ok. Come here,” Barbara said, and pulled Lawrence into a squeezing hug that left the demon standing stock still. Adam joined in, and the two ghosts just… held Lawrence. 

After a few moments, he gained control over his vocal chords. “W… what are we doing?” He tried to ignore how much his voice cracked. 

“Showing you we love you, Lawrence,” Adam replied simply. 

“Yup,” Barbara agreed. 

Lawrence… didn’t know how to breathe for a moment. His eyes burned, his throat ached, his chest was squeezing tight, it… it all was so nice. He never wanted it to end. 

Of course, it had to, though. There was still stuff to do, stuff that they couldn’t do hugging each other. Yet when Adam and Barbara did let him go, Lawrence wondered if he was really experiencing a high from the whole experience. Lydia may be onto something when she says he’s severely touch starved. Having someone hug you and tell you they love you, though… That wasn’t something he’d really experienced before. At least, not genuinely, not in a long time. 

“Now do you believe us?” Barbara asked, with a slightly bemused smile at the glossed over look in Lawrence’s eyes. 

“... s-sure. W-whatever. Of course you two would do something so stupid sweet. Ya sexy, basic bitches.” 

Barbara and Adam only smiled, pleased with their work. Lawrence glared at them both, then at Sandy who let out a series of huffs that sounded too close to laughter for his taste. 

Keys jingled in the front door. The ghosts all stared confusedly as Delia opened the door, and bustled through, looking worried. 

“Delia, I thought you were at work!” Barbara exclaimed, moving to check over the older woman. 

Delia shook her head. “I was, but then I wasn’t. Is Lydia here?” She asked. The ghosts paused at that. 

“She went to school with Chuck,” Lawrence slowly said. 

Delia became paler. “Yes, but the school just called. Lydia isn’t there!” 

….

She wasn’t sure how she managed it, but Lydia found her way home eventually. Her feet hurt, her lungs ached, every breath she took was like ice in her dry throat, but she made it home. 

It looked like Delia was here, her car in the driveway. For a moment Lydia wondered why she wasn’t at work, but her feelings were too swamped for her to care at the moment. Instead Lydia headed inside, stumbling through the entrance hall, dropping her bag behind her, sucking in a quick breath through gritted teeth as pain jolted through her legs from the pain radiating from the soles of her feet. 

“...Lydia? Is that you?” Barbara appeared in the doorway to the den, looking beyond worried, and she gasped. “Lydia what’s wrong? What happened?” 

Lydia felt her nose itching, and she realized her cheeks were soaked with tears. She didn’t realize she had started crying. Her head was swimming, and she could barely get a word out through her choking throat. “I’m fine,” she mumbled, staggering to the stairs. 

“Lydia wait!” That was Adam. 

“Did you walk all the way here- Lydia!” The voices faded behind her as Lydia sprinted up the stairs to the safe haven of her room. 

She slammed the door behind her, and tottered into her bathroom. Flicking the light on, she finally saw the wreckage of her makeup streaked face. Watery snot was trying to dribble out her nose, and her eyes were inflamed red, cheeks waxy from her tears. And yet still, those familiar dark brown eyes peered back at her, reminding her of those same dark eyes framed with blond bangs and crinkling smile lines...

Lydia forced her eyes away and sat down on the closed toilet, struggling to pull her shoes off. Her feet ached worse from all the jostling, and as she peeled her dark socks off, Lydia saw that the back of her heels were rubbed raw, she’d formed blisters, and one of them had burst. It made sense, the boots were new, they needed to be broken in still. They were not yet meant to be walked in for over two miles. 

Lydia stared at her feet for a long time, when a sudden thought flashed through her head. ‘ _ I wish Mom was here _ .’ Lydia squeezed her eyes shut, the floodgates forced open with a sob ripping through her chest, and tears started to patter onto her skirt. 

‘ _ I should be over this, I should be over this. It’s been a year, I can’t just start crying about Mom like this again _ .’ 

Lydia hugged her middle tightly, and she slid off the toilet to her knees until she was doubled over, her sweaty forehead now cooled by the bathroom tiles. Distantly she could hear murmurs, people talking, an argument maybe?

“ _ -just ran in. Should we go talk to her? _ ”

“ _ -needs her space? _ ”

“ _ -can’t just leave her alone. _ ” 

“ _ -awrence, wait! _ ”

It sounded like it was coming from outside her bedroom door. She couldn’t really bother to care at the moment, though. 

A shadow flashed over the crank window near her shower, and she could hear her bedroom window creaking open, and footsteps trumping to the bathroom. “Lyds?” A familiar croaking voice spoke.

Finally Lydia looked up and saw Lawrence standing in her bathroom doorway. Shock overtook Lawrence’s face, and a tense pause filled the air. Lydia expected him to crack a joke or something stupid, but instead Lawrence moved closer, crouched down and hovered a hand over her shoulder. 

“H-hey, that’s some serious waterworks there. What’s wrong, Scarecrow?” 

Lydia swallowed the lump in her throat, and threw her arms around Lawrence, burying her wet face into his rumpled t-shirt, shuddering with sobs still trying to work their way out of her throat. She needed something to anchor too, keep her from the dark whispers swirling on the edge of her thoughts. Lawrence, after a moment of shock, began to run his hand through Lydia’s hair reassuringly. He let Lydia cling onto him for a long time, the only noise in the bathroom being her hiccups and sniffles as she cried her eyes out. 

“Looks like you fucked your feet up,” Lawrence eventually noted with a slight hiss. 

“Yeah,” Lydia’s voice was muffled by his now damp t-shirt. 

Lawrence patted her head. “C’mon, Scarecrow. Bathroom floors suck, beds are where it’s at these days,” he said, shifting up and helping Lydia to her feet. She winced and tenderly stepped through her bedroom until she was able to sink onto her bed, where she stared blankly at her bedroom floor. Lawrence sat down next to her, pulling his legs up and crossing them. 

“You good?” He asked her and immediately grimaced at the dumb question. Slowly Lydia shrugged. “What, uh, what happened?” He continued to prod. 

Lydia bit her lip, and ducked her head. “It’s stupid,” she muttered. 

“Hey, any time I was stuck in a shit rut and tried to play it off as me being stupid, you said that whatever was making me sad was making me sad and that was fucking valid. Don’t you try and walk that back for yourself, kid,” Lawrence warned. 

Lydia sniffed and peeked over to Lawrence, who was scowling at her. He had a point. She took a deep breath, and spewed out the events that had her running away from school. 

It was lunchtime. Lydia was discussing possible shooting locations with Bea while they waited for the others, when suddenly someone backed in Lydia. 

Now she  _ should’ve  _ had the strap around her neck, she’ll admit that, but Lydia didn’t expect someone to just ram into her while she was holding her camera to show Bea a few shots she got from certain paths she biked on. 

It happened so fast, and yet Lydia felt like she was in slow motion. One second her camera was in her hands, the next it was falling through the air, landed onto the hard tile floors on one corner, and snapped open, spilling its mechanical contents out before her. Lydia stared down at it for a long moment, her breath frozen in her throat. 

Bea was talking to her, trying to reassure her, but all Lydia could hear was a ringing sound, and her vision was becoming tinged with red. 

She straightened up and whipped around, walking up to the person that somehow hadn’t even noticed that they backed into her. 

“Hey,” she growled, tapping their shoulder roughly. 

The person, some girl Lydia didn’t recognize, turned around, and eyed her disinterestedly. “What?” 

“You broke my camera. My mother gave me that,” Lydia glared at them. 

The girl looked over Lydia’s shoulder to the mess on the floor, then back to Lydia. “Ok. Good for you,” the girl hummed. 

Lydia’s eye twitched, and she began contemplating throwing this girl into a garbage bin. “You’re not even going to say sorry?” Lydia asked, clenching her fists. 

“Hm. No, I don’t really care enough to. Go run along and cry to your mommy about it,” the girl went to turn away. 

“I can’t. My mom died. That was the last thing she ever gave me and  _ you _ broke it!” Lydia was surprised she managed to say that so evenly. 

The other kids around the girl quieted, watching to see how she’d respond. The girl remained looking unimpressed, and she turned away shooting over her shoulder, “Lucky her. I wouldn’t want to deal with such a freak of a daughter either.” 

A gasp rippled through the hall, and some kids even laughed. 

Lydia stared after her, mouth agape, chest cold. She could feel tears starting to sprout into the corners of her eyes. Eyes from everywhere stared at her, humiliation and nausea built up in her stomach, and Lydia found her once stone feet suddenly moving before she could think. 

“Lydia wait!” Someone called after her, but Lydia just couldn’t handle anymore. She wanted to go home. 

Somehow she managed to burst out the front door of the school, and Lydia was pounding down the sidewalk, her bag jostling hard as she raced on. 

Lawrence didn’t say a word as Lydia told her story. He only listened, his face neutral the entire time. 

When she finally finished, Lydia rubbed another wave of tears off her cheeks. “I should be done with this,” she whispered. 

“Done with what?” Lawrence asked slowly. 

“My mom’s death. God, I’ve been going to therapy for almost a year now, I should be over this! I shouldn’t be having a breakdown and crying like a baby all over again,” Lydia yanked her legs up and pressed her pounding eyes into her knees. 

Lawrence was quiet for a moment, before placing a hand on Lydia’s head. “I don’t really get moms yet, but... your mom sounded like the coolest person ever, Scarecrow. Losing a badass lady like that, you’re not gonna ‘get’ over it. Breathers don’t get over death, even when they die. You miss people, even when you don’t remember them that well anymore,” Lawrence’s voice took on a faraway quality, as if he was thinking of something. Lydia inched her face up towards him. 

“Do you..?” She wasn’t sure if he’d answer her question. 

Lawrence chewed on his words for a moment, before replying, “I don’t remember my dad. It’s kind of shitty, but… it's been so long that I even forgot what he looks like. But… I still miss him. Even now, when I’m not even sure if the image I’ve built of him in my head is real. I’ve been around two thousand years, and I still miss him,” Lawrence looked back over to Lydia. “So… I say it’s fair enough that you still miss your mom,” he finished. 

Lydia sniffled once again, and leaned into his side, hugging him. Lawrence patted her shoulder, not minding as Lydia made another wet spot in his t-shirt. “Thank you,” she mumbled, grateful that she had him here. 

“Anything for you, kid. Any punk assholes try and mess with you, I’ll tear their fucking heads off and mail it to their grandmas. I’ll back you up in any stupid idea you have, and you’ll always be my number one go to scare buddy,” Lawrence replied. 

“Even if I’m a weirdo for wanting you to be my brother?” Lydia asked quietly, unable to look up. 

Lawrence froze, looked down to Lydia who wasn’t making eye contact, and instead stared resolutely at her bedroom floor. For a moment Lawrence felt lost, thinking of all the possible consequences the could occur for showing his emotions. He felt Lydia shift away, and that was when he decided consequences be damned, this is his sister/bffffff and she needs him, and he finally threw his arms around Lydia in a proper spine cracking hug. “I’m sorry. I’m the world’s dumbest asshole a lot, and I shouldn’t make you feel bad just because I get too sucked into my own head sometimes. I’m the luckiest fucker in the history of ever to have someone as cool as you wanting me as a brother, and I’d be dumber than Shah Muhammad to ever pass up the chance to call you family,” he said, his voice muffled by Lydia’s mussed up hair. 

Lydia finally laughed, half heartedly smacking his arm. “That was so saccharine my teeth are popping out now,” she sniffled. 

“Well I’m sorry but when your face is leaking all over like that I gotta do something!” Lawrence grinned back, refusing to let Lydia wiggle out of his arms for a moment. 

“Ok but let me go, I can’t breathe,” she pretended to wheeze. 

“But Lyds, we’re bonding!” Lawrence cooed, rubbing his stubble ridden cheek on the top of her head. 

Lydia tried to dig her fingers into Lawrence’s sides, but he simply crowed out that the benefits of dulled sensitivity meant not feeling tickling, and so Lydia resorted to threatening to never taking him to the graveyard like she promised to get him to let go. 

She laid back on the bed, her face cold and tacky, her feet still hurt, but she finally felt emotionally better. “You better not kill that girl,” Lydia eventually said. 

Lawrence stiffened. “Why not?” He sounded genuinely astonished by the idea of letting the bully live. 

Lydia shook her head. “It wouldn’t make me feel better, Beej. Besides, killing people kind of goes a little too far.” 

Lawrence scowled. “That’s a lame excuse,” he huffed. 

“Well too bad. No killing people, Beej,” Lydia said resolutely, her tone of voice leaving no room for argument. 

Lawrence rolled his eyes and flopped back onto the bed with her, moving to chew on his necklace. “That’s my one complaint about you, you know. You’re too soft about killing people,” he groused. 

Lydia hummed in response. “Guess that’s not too bad then. I’ll have to work hard to be worse,” she decided. She then looked over to her bedroom door and sighed, “They’ll wanna know what happened.” 

“Well, yeah. Last I heard kids are supposed to attend school all of the school day, and you showing up out of the blue like that was weird, even for us,” Lawrence pointed out, his star necklace sticking out of the corner of his mouth now. Lydia got up, but winced once more at how sore her feet were. “Let’s get you fixed up first.” 

Lawrence helped Lydia downstairs, where he called everyone else’s attention with, “Lyds fucked her feet up.” 

Adam and Barbara had been worriedly pacing the living room, while Delia sat on the couch with a distressed looking Sandy, talking on her phone. When Lawrence appeared with a swaying Lydia though, Delia dropped the phone, and was instantly moving to the bathroom to get the emergency kit. Adam picked the teen up and placed her on the couch where he and Barbara investigated her injuries. Both winced at the sight of the injuries. 

At the moment, the adults were more worried about taking care of Lydia’s injuries than anything else. No one asked anything when Delia brought out the emergency kit. Instead, Delia cleaned up Lydia’s bloody heels, sterilizing them with alcohol before carefully dabbing them with ointment before carefully bandaging them up. Adam had disappeared for a moment before popping back in carrying a box of tissues, and resolutely started to clean up Lydia’s face, swiping away the snot and tears. Lydia let the two fuss over her without a word, instead she kept looking down shamefaced for making them worry. Sandy simply curled around Lydia, trying to hum her injuries away. Unfortunately they learned that Sandworm powers didn’t work as well on the living. 

On the other side of the room, Barbara prodded Lawrence until he gave her a simplified rundown on what happened. The story made Barbara seethe with anger, but she set her feelings aside and focused on how to make Lydia feel better. Fortunately, Lawrence had an idea, and so Barbara sent him up to the attic with directions to her collection of horror movies. 

Then she focused on the source of the problem. 

Delia finished with Lydia’s feet, and Adam had wiped away the majority of dried tears off Lydia’s face. Now was when the questions had to come. 

“Lydia, what happened? I got a phone call at work that you had just disappeared from school, and then you suddenly show up at home with no explanation, crying and- Why did you walk home, didn’t you have your bike?” Delia began, hysteria creeping into her voice. 

“Dad drove me to school. He was worried about traffic,” Lydia mumbled, clutching onto Sandy. 

“Why did you leave though? What happened?” Adam pushed. 

Lydia shrunk in on herself, shame crawling up her spine. Sandy tried to nuzzle Lydia’s cheek, but it didn’t succeed in cheering the teen up. Barbara intervened, sitting on the couch next to Lydia and putting a gentle arm around her. Lydia looked up to her, and Barbara gave her a reassuring smile. Lydia took a calming breath and told Delia and Adam what she told Lawrence. When she finished, the living room seemed to ring with silence, but still Barbara kept Lydia tethered with her comforting side hug. 

Then Delia took Lydia’s hands, and the teen chanced a look up to her stepmother. “The next time that happens, I want you to call me. I will come and get you, and take you home. You don’t ever leave and walk home like that, okay?” Delia said. Slowly Lydia nodded, the tears reappearing in her eyes, and she quickly sat up and threw her arms around Delia, who instantly hugged the teen back. Sandy purred in delight, Adam and Barbara joined in the hug, and no one said a word as Lydia began to sniffle again, instead Adam just pressed a tissue into her hand. 

When Lawrence returned with the horror movie collection, Delia had remembered to call Charles and update him on the situation. Lydia insisted she would be fine, but Charles insisted right back on coming home early and checking on her himself. 

Then came the question of dealing with the school and this bully. Lydia knew that any action the school took would only exacerbate the problem, and everyone else couldn’t really disagree with that, but the thought of just doing nothing left everyone with a sour taste in their mouth. Lawrence once again suggested murder, Sandy agreeing with the plan withan angry hiss, but the others instantly shot it down. 

“I just kind of want to forget today,” Lydia sighed, and picked a movie out of Barbara’s collection. “Can we just watch scary movies?” She asked, and the matter was officially dropped for the night. 

Charles called the school to excuse Lydia and call in a day off at work while she and Lawrence prepared a plethora of snacks, and Delia and the Maitlands set the den up for the movie. 

That night, Delia hid from jump scares in Charles arms on the loveseat while Lydia and Lawrence snickered about the cheesy scares squished in the couch with the Maitlands and a supervising Sandy. 

Lydia still mourned the loss of her camera. She still felt emotionally raw from the ordeal. But squished together with Lawrence, Adam and Barb, snickering at her demon brother whenever his hair flushed pink when one of the ghost couple cuddled closer to him, Lydia began to feel better. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AAAAAAAAAAA IM SO SORRY LYDIA WEEEEEEEEH  
> But finally she and bj have reconciled.  
> This... was a tough chapter to finish. I was also considering making this two chapters, but after being so mean I decided to be nice for once, lol   
> Tho I’m not too sure I’m happy with the ending..., but it’s Friday, I’ve spent all morning working on this, I think I need to just walk away now. Maybe take another look at it later.  
> You can find me on tumblr  
> Also, hit me up at my tumblr [@daydreaming-jessi](https://daydreaming-jessi.tumblr.com/)


	36. Accidental Sleepovers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lydia gets woken up in the middle of the night, and finds out that her friends are pretty great.

Lydia cracked open her eyes to the chiming of her phone, it’s screen lighting up the walls of her bedroom. She let out a groan and slowly dragged it along the bedside table to her side where she cast a quick look at the phone screen. It was 2 am, officially early Sunday morning, who on earth was texting her? 

It was Darrin of course, who sent several strings of texts going, _ ‘deetz. deetz. deetz wake up already. lydiaaaaaaaa wake up’ _ . 

Lydia wrinkled her nose, and slowly sat up in her bed and unlocked her phone and texted back, ‘ _ what do you want’ _ . 

She waited only a second before Darrin sent back, ‘ _ Oh good you’re awake. Come outside’ _ . 

Lydia raised an eyebrow, and got up to look out her window, facing out to the front of the house, and glanced out to the dark yard below. She did a double take upon seeing Bea, Cast, Darrin and Keith hanging outside in the yard, waiting for her apparently. Two bikes were parked on the road winding up the hill to Lydia’s home, and the four teens were all dressed up for the chilly night air. 

Lydia quickly threw on a jacket and quietly snuck through her house and out the front door. There she was met with a mix of sheepish expressions and flat out excitement, as if this were something normal. 

“Great you’re here!” Darrin grinned widely. 

“What are you guys doing?” Lydia asked flatly, staring at them. 

“First off, I’m so sorry. I tried to tell them to wait until morning,” Keith began. 

“Yeah, because you’re boring,” Cast cut in. 

“It’s only two am! What loser goes to sleep at two am?” Darrin agreed. 

“I do,” Lydia pinched the bridge of her nose. She knew they’d been worried about her, but she didn’t think it would lead to some sort of wellness check at two am. 

“Oh. Loser,” Darrin slung an arm around Lydia’s shoulder and gestured grandly to Bea, who had been trying to be eaten by her jacket the second Lydia appeared. “Someone has a surprise for you!” He sang, swaying himself and Lydia back and forth. 

“Darrin I’m going to murder you. I will dissolve your flesh and turn your bones into some sort of decoration in my room,” Bea hissed, her cheeks gaining a rosy hue as her mortification of the situation slowly grew more apparent. It must be something big for  _ Bea _ to be embarrassed about it. 

“I have the lye to do that. Now, can someone explain already why you voyeurs are standing outside my house in the middle of the night?” Lydia asked, though her previous exhaustion was thoroughly forgotten with this harebrained plot developing before her. 

“You’ll want to blame Darrin solely for this. He’s the one that took advantage of Bea’s moment of conflict and Keith and I came along for damage control,” Cast studied her nails in the moonlight, though that wasn’t as fruitful as she hoped it would be. 

“You came to, and I quote, ‘laugh at us when this blew up in our faces and then bail us out when the cops were called on us for trespassing’,” Keith shot the blond an unamused look at her bald faced lie. 

Cast shrugged, unbothered. “I can multitask.” 

“What’s this moment of conflict about, then?” Lydia turned to Bea, who sighed upon seeing she had no escape from this moment. 

She tugged her backpack off and unzipped it, pulling something out from it. “I know it isn’t the same, and doesn’t really make up for the one you lost. I mean, we managed to gather up most of the pieces of your old one, but until it can be seen if it can be fixed or not, I thought that maybe you’d… well I just didn’t want you to fall behind in class or anything, and it’s stupid, but here.” Bea thrust a dark bag into Lydia’s hands. 

Curious, Lydia unzipped the bag, and was met with shiny black metal that seemed familiar. “Your camera,” Lydia stared down at it in shock, uncertain of whether she should touch it or not. 

Bea shrugged, still looking uncertain. “I know it’s not the same as the last gift your mom gave you before she passed, but I thought maybe it’d at least be a step up from the school cameras until your old one is fixed,” she explained. 

“I… I don’t even know where the pieces to that thing went. Probably in the school trash,” Lydia stared down, feeling an ache start in her throat. 

“Nope! Ta-da!” 

Lydia stared cross-eyed at the large baggy filled with mechanical parts thrust before her face for a moment, her eyes catching on the familiar engraved metal side piece, before her gaze shifted onto a  _ now _ sheepish looking Darrin. 

“You ran off so quick, we had to scrape everything together by ourselves. Seemed too much of a shame to let such an important thing go down the drain, er, dumpster in this case. Hopefully the photo shack can salvage it, for not too high of a price,” Darrin rattled off, placing the bag into Lydia’s other hand. 

She wasn’t sure what to say. Her eyes were stinging with tears, and Lydia knew she wouldn’t be able to say anything without sounding like she was choking down sand. Lydia ducked her head down, sniffing, and mumbled out a thanks. 

“Ope, there’s waterworks,” Cast noted, holding back a relieved laugh. 

“Oh no!” Darrin cried. “No don’t cry Deetz, oh no what have we done?” 

“I’m pretty sure they’re happy tears, Darrin,” Bea shook her head, but she was smiling now, pleased that their gifts had been accepted. 

“Never mind, you guys suck,” Lydia laughed wetly, scrubbing her jacket sleeve over her eyes. 

“Yeah we all suck. But we all suck together,” Keith stepped up to Lydia’s other side and patted her shoulder comfortingly. 

“Well now that we’ve delivered the packages, I guess now we have to figure out how to hide from our parents that we snuck out. Specifically Keith’s uptight folks,” Bea hummed, looking over her shoulder to the dark streets behind them. 

“You guys think you’ll be able to head back home at this point? Look at Keith, he’s about to fall asleep standing up,” Lydia pointed out, basically holding the taller boy upright now. 

“I’m fine,” Keith tried to huff, but his body teetered in place unconvincingly. 

Cast yawned as well, “Yeah I dunno if I could safely slip back through my window at this point.” 

“Aw come on! Don’t y’all crash on me now!” Darrin groaned, looking around helplessly at their friends. 

Lydia shook her head at the lot, and turned to head inside. “Come on, we can sleep in the den.” 

“Still doesn’t really cover how we’ll explain ourselves though,” Bea pointed out, helping Lydia guide a slowly passing out Keith to the door. 

“Left a note. They won’t notice until morning, and then they’ll just think I was out for a morning run,” Keith hummed. 

“There. That’s the only one we had to really worry about,” Lydia said. Keith’s parents, from what they all heard, were pretty harsh on him. It was fairly obvious Darrin didn’t like them, and for good reason. 

Inside the five teenagers went, Lydia guiding them to the den where she pulled out extra blankets from the cupboard to use after placing the camera and camera parts on the coffee table. Keith and Darrin took the loveseat, of course. Cast made a makeshift bed of blankets on the floor because furniture was usually too soft to sleep on in her opinion, and that left Lydia and Bea to sleep together on the couch. Lydia ignored the knowing grin Darrin shot her. They were both laying on opposite ends of the couch from each other, nothing special was happening. 

Fairly soon, most everyone was asleep. Lydia stared up at the ceiling, listening to the slow breathing surrounding her, picturing her parents expressions when they found she had suddenly invited four guests to stay the night, when she heard Bea whisper from the other end of the couch, “You still awake Lydia?” 

“Yeah.” 

“Um. Thanks for letting us stay and...I’m sorry about your camera. Didn’t ever really get to say that.” 

“...thank you. For the replacement. And bringing the pieces back here.” 

“Of course. I… I couldn’t imagine what I’d do if I lost my mom. I- we wanted you to know that we’re here for you.” 

“Thank you.” 

For a moment Lydia considered the consequences. Then decided it would be worth it, and got up to join Bea on her end of the couch. 

“It’s cold,” was the excuse Lydia gave the other girl. 

Bea wrapped an arm around Lydia’s shoulders, pulling her closer, only replying back, “Yeah.” 

And the five teenagers fell asleep. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no idea what I’m doing, but I’m doing it, and y’all have to deal.  
> Also, hit me up at my tumblr [@daydreaming-jessi](https://daydreaming-jessi.tumblr.com/)


	37. Then the Morning Comes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The five teens wakes up, and Lydia decides to put an end to their paranormal debate once and for all

The next morning, Lydia awoke early considering her interrupted sleep. She scrunched her nose at the sunlight intruding her sleep, and burrowed her head further into the warm, nice smelling pillow she clutched, letting out a slight grumble at the disturbance. Then her pillow shifted and let out a sleepy huff. Lydia opened her eyes and felt her body freeze upon seeing she tucked herself into Bea’s chest like the other girl was some kind of stuffed animal. 

She quickly got up, face bright red, but managed to calm down when the others began to wake up after her. Neither she or Bea said anything about how they slept, but they did share a gentle smile that left Lydia buzzing. 

Lydia then thanked them for bringing her the things once more, and said she wanted to finally end their debate about the paranormal once and for all. At first, they thought she was joking. She led them up the stairs in response. Lawrence gave them a fright on the way when they passed his room, Sandy curled peacefully around his shoulders as if he hadn’t just shaken a colony of centipedes out of his hair. Of course everyone was curious about Sandy. She was no animal any of them had seen before. When they asked what she was and Lawrence answered she was a sandworm, they all assumed she was some sort of illegal pet. 

“Is it illegal to own a pet that no one knows exist?” Lydia asked. No one was sure, and Keith wanted to know if she and Lawrence had actually found an animal that people didn’t know exist, his biology loving side shining through, but Lydia replied that it would have to wait after. Despite the prank, Lydia still looked quite serious about the paranormal thing. Darrin tried to joke, to say that nothing short of seeing an actual ghost would convince the other three that ghosts existed, and Lawrence laughed at that, though not for the reason that they thought. Lydia just continued to lead them to the attic, now with a following Lawrence wanting to see how this would turn out. Of course he would never admit that he was also coming along in case Lydia needed his back up should things turn sour. 

At the door to the attic she paused and knocked on it, and a strange voice called out “Who’s there?” 

And Lydia answered that she wanted to introduce her friends. For a moment there was silence, then a brunette man opened the door looking quite shocked and stared at the teens behind Lydia. 

They were let into the attic, and Lydia introduced her friends to Barbara and Adam, and introduced the ghost couple to Bea, Cast, Darrin and Keith. The four teens looked at Adam and Barbara for a moment, neat and tidy looking like a loving suburban couple radiating kind parental energy, before self consciously straightening up, wanting to make good impressions.

After the moment of necessary greetings passed, slowly Cast asked about how Lydia wanted to settle their dispute about the paranormal. Lydia looked to Barbara and Adam, looking for their permission. The couple smiled back at her with slight nods, clasped hands, and promptly levitated, with ease thanks to their lessons with Lawrence. 

To say the teens were shocked was an understatement. 

Of course Darrin exploded with “I knew it!” and “I told you so!”. He asked every question under the sun about ghosts. Cast asked what Lawrence really was, because she knew for certain now that he wasn’t human. So then came the explanation of how Lawrence was deadborn. 

“So… you’re adopted too,” Cast said with a smirk. Lawrence wasn’t sure how to respond. 

“I guess he is!” Barbara giggled, hugging his arm, making Lawrence whip his head around and stare at her in shock, before shoving his necklace into his mouth and chewing furtively on it. 

Of course Lydia’s friends were shocked, a little worried about the implications this all meant, but they were reassured that no, God and Satan did not exist, at least not as mortals thought they did. Lydia was relieved when her friends moved past shock to thinking this was the coolest thing ever, and they needed to know _everything_. She was happy to tell them the story of how this all came to be. But Adam, ever responsible, said they needed to eat breakfast first. 

Down to the first floor went the group, where Lydia finally introduced her father and stepmother to her friends. Charles was outright gleeful of Lydia bringing _friends_ over, and Delia failed at hiding how proud she was of the mental recovery Lydia was making. Fortunately she went to make a big breakfast with Lawrence, lowering the odds that she’d embarrass Lydia in front of the four teens and endanger the possibility of Lydia having them over ever again. 

Cast tried to slide out of the meal, but Darrin, ever watchful of his best friend and aided by the others, made sure she ate a proper meal. 

After the food was eaten, the teens helped clear the table, and in the kitchen washing dishes, Lydia told them the story of when she and her parents first moved into the house over a year ago. 

“Wait, wait, he tried to _marry you_?” Keith asked, his face twisting with disgust. 

“It was the worst, most stupidest plan I ever had and I regret every decision I made leading up to it,” Lawrence cut in, sliding in through the wall. 

“To be fair, I ended up killing him after, so,” Lydia said. 

“Holy shit, you have an actual body count?” Cast asked. 

“I’d say it’s fair retribution,” Bea hummed. 

“See, now she gets it. I like this one,” Lawrence pointed at the teen girl with a grin. 

Of course once the story was told, they all were curious how Lawrence wound back at the house after he left. Lydia shot the demon a worried look, wondering just how personal she should get into that. Lawrence looked unsure as well, so Lydia decided to keep the panic attacks out of the story, and instead explained how his mother came back and he needed a safe place to hide. 

“I can’t believe they let you back in after you tried to marry a fifteen year old,” Cast noted flatly, but she still had a smirk on her face. 

“To be fair, Lydia hid me in her room for about two weeks before we were forced to come clean,” Lawrence replied. 

“It helped that you stopped me from falling off the roof,” Lydia pointed out. 

“True.” 

“How the hell have you had such luck in ghost hunting without even trying, Deetz? I’m jealous! Since you seem to have some sort of power of the supernatural kind, we have to travel to West Virginia and prove mothman is real. Bea will love you forever if you do,” Darrin wriggled his eyebrows meaningfully at Lydia, making her lightly smack his arm. 

“Shut up Darrin,” Bea flicked soapy water at him as well, and Lawrence cackled at the embarrassment hounding the two girls now. Keith and Darrin merely shared a smug, knowing look while Cast secretly wondered if mothman truly was real, and simply an eldritch monster like sandworms. 

Once the dishes were done, the questions were done, and the jokes and teasing were made, Bea asked about Lydia’s darkroom that she talked about. “Oh, that’s down here. I can show you guys the photos I’ve been trying to develop of Adam and Barbara. That reminds me, remember that camera I got at the thrift shop?” Lydia led the teens down to her dark room, leaving Lawrence to wander off and give the kids time alone. 

He would _never_ admit this, but he was happy for Lydia. She deserved friends her age just as weird as she was. And maybe they weren’t so bad after all. Lawrence paused in the doorway to the den, looking over to the coffee table where the stuff the teens brought Lydia was left. He slowly walked over to it, and picked up a strange plastic bag filled with camera pieces. He saw a familiar flash of metal engraved with Lydia’s initials inside of the plastic and gears. No, those kids weren’t so bad after all. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -emerges from grave-  
> AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I HAVE RETURNED.  
> Sorry for disappearing like that y’all, I’ve been in writing hell trying to figure this chapter out.  
> I swear, it’s because I try to write too many characters into one part, I need to stop doing that to myself,  
> It’s officially the end of the camera arc, time to move onto the next part. Hopefully it’ll be easier haaaaaa  
> You can find me on tumblr [@daydreaming-jessi](https://daydreaming-jessi.tumblr.com/)


	38. Now Get in the Basement!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time moves on, and the Maitlands start to realize what exactly death means in their life. Lawrence is soft for them despite himself and wants to help them through that.   
> Hey, is that a party?

Lydia’s camera wasn’t as irreparably damaged as she feared it was, though the repair would take time. Lydia took this as an opportunity to test out the new camera she was gifted, she and Bea heading out together countless times, simply taking photos she reminded Lawrence pointedly any time he teased her about it. He’d roll his eyes and continue to gush about how his goth lesbian sister was growing up so fast. 

To everyone’s relief, it seemed that Lydia’s and Lawrence's issue was now fully resolved, the two even closer than ever, as if to make up for lost time. They’d go out wandering the town late into the evening, until they’d finally come home brimming with tales of mischief they’d caused strangers they passed. The trouble they’d pull would range from pulling ferocious faces in the corners of eyes, making others double take at the two who innocently gazed back, to manifesting monstrous creatures in purses and pockets to make the owner of said purses and pockets dance around in terror while trying to wrestle the illusionary beast off their being. 

Delia and Charles got a taste of just what exact mayhem the two caused when the four went on a shopping trip to restock the house. Lydia had dragged Lawrence with them, though he rather poorly hid just how much he enjoyed hanging around the Deetz family. Of course he said he was just convinced to give the Maitlands some alone time, but then Lydia pointed out that he was being considerate to the ghost couple, and that was when he shoved her face away and chewed on his necklace in embarrassment. 

The shopping trip quickly dissolved into turning the stores into shopper’s nightmare. Displays hid revolting beasts that clawed at any passerby, shelves would explode slime, blood, and insects onto consumers, frozen hanging corpses would drop through freezers that were opened, and worst of all, sales were turned into nightmarish amalgamations of disjointed percentages and nonsensical requirements. Of course, none of this affected the workers in the stores. “They’ve been through enough,” was Lawrence and Lydia’s reasoning. 

Now one would expect a parent like Charles Deetz to discourage this behavior, but one had to remember that he had  _ married _ Emily Deetz, and Charles said time and again that Lydia was just like her mother with a proud and loving voice. So if you expected he was beleaguered by the trouble Lydia and Lawrence caused, you would be wrong. As for Delia, she loved letting others display their creativity. The only times she would show any type of disapproval was if they scared her, though it was because she hated being startled rather than because she disliked their behavior. One would even think the couple were rather proud of the extravagant tricks the two pulled. 

“Lydia always did think outside of the box. It’s good to see Lawrence bringing her out of her shell like this, hadn’t seen her this energetic since New York,” Charles hummed as shrieks of terror went on behind him. 

Delia nodded in agreement while carefully picking out a sampling of incenses to replace her emptying stock. A gaggle of tentacles burst out of the shelf next to her, sending the customer perusing it booking it out of the store. “They do both operate on the same wavelength, it’s no surprise they work so well together. Charles, what do you think of this scent? Too powerful? I don’t want to suffocate our energies.” 

The four returned home from their shopping trip with wild stories to tell. Lawrence and Lydia were both pleased with the trauma they caused that day, and were more than happy to tell Adam and Barbara all about it. Hearing about all the fun and changes that happened in their town, the Maitlands tried to hide their disappointment in not being able to come along, not wanting to bring the mood down. As the night progressed, their sadness seemed to only grow, though. Such as when Barbara noted that around this time of the month she and Adam would drive out to an old farm to pick pumpkins to carve and decorate. For a moment she smiled fondly at the memory, but then it vanished as she realized aloud, “We can’t go to that farm anymore.” 

Or when Lydia complained of the cold from running around in the cold autumn air all day, and Adam tossed a blanket over her. For a moment he just adjusted the warm sheet over the teen’s shoulder despite her complaints that she could do it herself, giving her a teasing grin and he tucked her even tighter in the blanket, but then suddenly he stilled. 

Lydia looked up to him curiously. “What’s wrong?” 

Adam started, and quickly shrugged. “I just… remembered I don’t get warm. Barbara and I can’t do something like this anymore…” 

Lydia looked worried. “You okay?” 

Adam straightened up. “Yes, just. I’m thinking too much. I should focus more on making sure you don’t get a cold,” Adam flipped a corner of the blanket over Lydia’s head like a hood. 

“Hey! At this rate you’re gonna smother me-!” Lydia squawked, making the ghost laugh. 

But Lawrence noticed that it was forced. He noticed how the two became more and more withdrawn. He knew what was happening. Like a domino effect, one moment made the couple realize just how much they lost when they died. Every newlydead went through this. Sometimes it would last only a moment, other times it would drag for decades. Sometimes it only happened once, sometimes it occurred hundreds of different times. 

For some reason though, watching the Maitlands going through this was unacceptable to Lawrence. Maybe his crush really was making him soft for the couple, but he wanted to cheer them up. He wasn’t sure how exactly to do this, but he had to at least try. So he planned, as much as he usually does plan which usually just involved coming up with a single idea and just going with that, and prepared to set this plan into motion. 

Adam didn’t suspect anything was off when he first went digging through the drawers in the house searching for his smaller clamp. In fact it was a typically quiet day, where the living members of the house were off to school and work, perfect for finishing the intricately detailed town hall he was working on. He and Barbara did notice that Lawrence seemed to be acting a bit strange that day. He was spending a large amount of time with them, never wandering off to some unknown place like he usually did, and seemed almost determined to distract them from  _ something _ . If it were anyone but Lawrence, they might say he was acting clingy. They weren’t sure what was up, but neither Barbara or Adam wanted to say anything and possibly chase the enigmatic demon off. They enjoyed his company, something neither thought they’d have ever said about a year ago. So they just accepted that this was what was going to happen today, and went on with their business, with the addition of Lawrence. 

So when Adam traversed through the foyer in his search, and he felt eyes on him, he had a feeling he knew who was watching him. Looking up, Adam saw Lawrence hanging out above the front door, even though moments before he’d been up in the attic with Barbara. Adam blinked, immediately suspicious. “What are you doing?” Adam asked slowly. 

Lawrence batted his eyes innocently. “Me? I’m just sitting here, chilling.” 

“Right,” Adam slowly turned back to his task trying to keep an eye on Lawrence as well. 

“I am! You guys never believe me when I say stuff!” Lawrence pretended to pout. 

“I do believe you, I just also know to be on the lookout when you have that certain look in your eye,” Adam smirked. 

“Oh, you focus on my eyes a lot, do you?” Suddenly Lawrence was at Adam’s elbow, resting his face in his hands and grinning salaciously at the ghost. 

Adam glanced over to Lawrence for a moment, thinking carefully on his response, before smirking. “I thought that it was obvious I do.” 

Lawrence froze for a moment, caught up in the implications of that, before shaking himself out of his stupor. “Er, I just remembered. Barbara needs you upstairs,” he coughed, glancing over his shoulder to the kitchen. 

Adam glanced up the stairs curiously. “Oh. Alright,” he shot Lawrence one last look before heading up the stairs to see his wife. Of course, when he got there, he was surprised with a recomposed demon scooping him up from behind. “Hey look Adam, turns out I am up to something!” Lawrence crowed, twirling them both further into the attic. 

“Lawrence!” Adam laughed, his heart jumping in surprise from the other’s sudden appearance. 

Barbara looked up from the vase of flowers she was readjusting, and smiled at the sight of the two boys laughing and spinning through the room behind her. “Told you I could do it, Babs, you owe me twenty minutes of petting my hair now!” Lawrence grinned at her, pausing in his victory spins. 

“Petting your hair?” Adam raised an eyebrow, a smile still gracing his face. 

“Well I told y’all I don’t give a shit about money, so I’ve decided that physical affection is how people are going to get repay me now.” 

“Does that mean I could get the same in return?” Barbara asked, wandering over to the two with a smirk. 

“Perhaps. I dunno, I’m still working it out. I mean, it’s dumb as shit, but you two are so vanilla I couldn’t ask for like a blowjo-“ Lawrence nearly dropped Adam when Barbara ran her hand through his green locks, quickly catching the falling ghost by the arms at the last second. Then he looked up to Barbara in shock, and she stared back apprehensively, hand half pulled back as if she had burned Lawrence. “You… you actually did it,” Lawrence blinked rapidly, as if that would dispel whatever dream he was currently in. 

“Yes? I’m sorry, should I not have? I just thought- you said you wanted- I mean, I should’ve asked, and I-“ Barbara clasped her hands together, suddenly looking unsure of herself. 

“I never thought you would’ve ever actually done that, I… I thought you would’ve just laughed at me,” Lawrence backed away from the ghost couple, running his own fingers through his hair, staring at the floor. Adam looked between the two worriedly, thinking quickly of how to fix this situation. 

“Well, alright. I uh, guess when you shower daily, people touch you more. Cool,” Lawrence suddenly straightened out, bringing his necklace up to his mouth to chew while avoiding eye contact. 

“Your hair is softer, now that you’re able to properly wash it. It feels nice, so... I don’t mind paying you back the rest of the twenty minutes,” Barbara said, offering a small smile. 

“ _ O-h _ . C-cool. Um. Adam you need something, right?” Lawrence pointed to the ghost suddenly, his hair growing pink, and strangely, his cheeks started to grow a strange shade of gray-green. 

Adam didn’t immediately answer, lost in staring at the demon’s coloring cheeks in shock, coming to the conclusion that Lawrence blushing was  _ adorable _ , when Barbara grabbed his hand. “Oh? What is it?” She gave him a teasing smile, as if she knew what he was thinking. Not that she didn’t think so too. 

Adam quickly restarted. “I’m looking for that smaller clamp, you remember it?” 

Barbara’s eyebrows crinkled together adorably as she thought, trying to remember. “You put a bunch of tools you weren’t using often in the basement. If it’s still in the house, it’ll probably be down there.” 

Adam paused at that, his spine unconsciously straightening up. “The… the basement..?” 

Barbara looked back to him confusedly, then realized what he was thinking, and her eyes widened. “I… do, do you really need it that badly?” She instinctively grabbed his hand, both of them tense now. 

Lawrence studied the two ghosts. He could see that fatal memory they shared flash through their minds as slowly, slowly, familiar bruises and gashes began to reappear on their bodies as they were once again remembered. “You two, uh, thinking about past times?” He slowly asked. 

The couple looked at Lawrence as if they just remembered he was there, their eyes wider than a deer facing down its automobile demise. Lawrence slowly inched towards them, ready to stop if they needed him to, until he was close enough to touch them, where he then carefully grabbed their hands and squeezed them. “Look, you’re already dead. You can’t die twice. Even if you do fall, you can levitate, you know? So it’s ok to go down there, no need to go into a panic over it,” he tried to grin reassuringly, but he doubted his sharp teeth were very comforting. 

To his shock, Adam and Barbara leaned into him in a tight hug. He stood very still for a moment, before slowly curling his arms around the two cool bodies pressed into him. After a long moment of comfortable silence, he finally spoke up. “H-hey, so. We can all go down there. Together. Basement looks completely different from last time, er, I think so anyways. We’ll just go down there, get A-dog’s tool, then blow that cathouse. What do you think?” 

Slowly, Barbara straightened up. “I… I think that’s a good idea.” There was that steely look in her eyes, the look that meant she was going to do this. 

Adam looked between the two, uncertain, before taking a deep breath, and looking more determined now. “Alright. Okay. Maitlands 2.0,” he smiled. 

“Maitlands 2.0!” Barbara agreed, bringing her hands up in a cheer, which was when Lawrence noticed she was holding his still while she said it. His desperate mind wanted to believe that meant he was included in this, that they considered him a part of their Maitlands 2.0, dorky as it was. But the ever crushing realist told him that would be ridiculous, they would never… but it was fine. Why would he even want to be a part of it? It was so ridiculously quaint. 

“Yeah, yeah, let’s go!” Lawrence focused and made them fall through the floor, making Adam and Barbara yelp, startled, as they zipped through the floor into the kitchen. 

“A little warning would be appreciated,” Barbara huffed, placing a hand to her head as she and Adam reoriented themselves. 

“But that’s lame,” Lawrence placed a hand on the knob off the door leading down to the basement, waiting patiently this time for the two to be ready. 

After a pause of hesitance, the two gave him the nod to go ahead. The door creaked open familiarly as Lawrence pushed it through. He’d followed Lydia down here so many times, doing this so slowly felt strange. 

He led Adam and Barbara down the stairs, one step at a time. Experience had taught him how difficult it was for newlydeads to face their place of death, and that he needed to show patience and care lest someone dissolve into a fit of hysteria, and he most definitely didn’t want to see either Adam or Barbara fall apart like that. 

Down into the depths they went, until finally they reached the bottom most floor of the house. Lawrence glanced around, but he saw no places a clamp could be. Only the sagging water heater and the door to Lydia’s darkroom. 

“So… here we go,” he clapped his hands together and swayed back and forth. 

The Maitlands looked around the dim room, and a shared look of confusion crossed their faces. “Er… what happened down here?” Adam slowly moved to one of the walls, looking it over quizzically. 

“Well, Lyds took over the room here,” Lawrence pointed to the door superfluously. 

“N-no, no this… this isn’t the basement. It’s been walled off completely! There used to be a whole space,” Barbara gestured grandly to the basement. Lawrence took pause at that. 

“Really?” 

“Uh, yes? You should know, you watched us before!” Adam knocked on the concrete wall, listening fruitlessly for a hollow echo. 

“Yeah but I didn’t see you go down here ever, so I didn’t really know it existed, until you died I guess. Well, which wall was it that didn’t exist before?” Lawrence looked around curiously. 

“Um, this one I guess,” Barbara waved to the right mindlessly, looking the basement over for any other changes made to it. 

Seeing as the couple were distracted, Lawrence hopped through the wall on his own. His hunch turned out to be correct. Five feet through, and he found the rest of the basement the reconstructors were too lazy to properly fill in. He’d long before learned to never trust construction workers. Boxes were scattered around the space, along with an inch thick layer of dust. 

Lawrence trotted around the space, curiously glancing around. He could see old familiar junk that must’ve been loaded down here when the house was first put on the market, bringing back old memories. The furniture and knick knacks scattered around were once so quaint and suburban before, but now, here in the lonely dank basement, it almost seemed as if everything here was crying out for their old owners to return, pitifully unaware of just how that would never be. 

Lost in these thoughts, Lawrence didn’t notice where his errant wandering was taking him until he tripped into a pile of boards. “Ow!” He squawked, more in surprise than in pain, but he did feel something slice open his forehead. The boards clattered loudly in the echoing room. “Dammit,” he growled, pushing himself up on his hands. 

“Lawrence!” Two panicked voices cried out behind him. 

Lawrence suddenly found himself basically hoisted up out of the pile and being prodded over by two almost hysterical ghosts. “Oh my god, oh my god, you’re bleeding, oh my god!” Adam’s hands fluttered around Lawrence’s head, his eyes almost bugged out behind his reading glasses. 

“Are you okay? Do you feel nauseous, or dizzy? What’s your name, the date?” Barbara squished Lawrence’s cheeks together, making him focus on her. 

The bruises and gashes were glaringly obvious on their now deathly pale skin, dirt and sediment adding onto their beat up looks. 

“I’m fine, I’m okay. I just tripped,” Lawrence grasped Barbara’s hands, now trying to calm the two down. 

“B-but you’re bleeding, you’re bleeding!” Adam was almost shrieking now. 

“I just scratched myself,” Lawrence replied, calm still. 

“N-no, Lawrence that is  _ bad _ , like, really bad,” Barbara replied, looking shaky still. 

Lawrence raised an eyebrow, then made his eyeballs pop out similarly to a snail so he could see what had gotten the ghost couple so stirred up. He eyed his forehead, and he did have to admit, on a breather it would be a pretty gnarly gash. “Yeah, ok, that would be bad. But!” His eyeballs sucked back properly into their sockets, “I’m dead, so it doesn’t matter.” 

“Surely it hurts, though,” Barbara said, she and Adam seeming unfazed by the body horror Lawrence pulled. Which, fair, he did a lot of that, they were probably used to it all by now. 

“Meh, I’ve had worse.” 

“Wha- Worse?” Adam still looked shaky, and now also horrified at the idea of what could be worse. 

Lawrence stood up, and stumbled, making the two ghosts quickly rush to keep him steady. “Whoa, dang! Feel like I took a few too many hits of ketamine,” Lawrence sniffed, feeling something start to dribble down his head. 

“Oh my g- sit down you! Adam, could you find a light? I want to get a better look at this,” Barbara forced Lawrence down onto a box, and pulled the corner of her dress up and began to dab at his forehead. 

“Ah, jeez, Babs, I’m not really in the mood for rough play right now,” Lawrence hissed at the rough scrubbing. She simply rolled her eyes and continued cleaning off the wound, albeit more gently now. 

Lawrence could hear Adam digging around in the boxes in the darkness behind them, until the ghost gave a quiet ‘aha’ before reappearing behind Barbara with a miraculously lit, dust covered lantern. Carefully, Barbara cleaned the blood away from Lawrence’s forehead, the corner of her dress fully stained black when she finished. 

“Well. Seems we’ve all been hurt by this basement now. We’re all cute and match with all the cuts too,” Lawrence pointed to his gash with a wink. Neither Barbara or Adam cracked a smile at his jokes, too on edge now. “Ugh, goddammit. I made things all worse, didn’t I?” he sighed. 

“Wha-? How on earth did you make things worse?” Adam did a double take. 

“I know you guys were bummed about being dead and trapped in the house, and I thought hey maybe I could cheer you two up, but I didn’t. I was stupid, and got myself hurt, made you come down to here where you died, and now you’re both even more upset.” Lawrence hung his head, feeling like a complete and utter idiot. He wasn’t sure how he ever thought he could do this, he sucked at making people feel better. 

The Maitlands were quiet for a moment, then Lawrence found himself being hugged by them again. “Whe-! Ok, hugs again! We’re feeling touchy today, cool.” 

“Thank you,” Barbara said. 

Lawrence flailed for a response, but he wasn’t sure what to say. 

“It’s sweet of you to try and help us feel better,” Adam agreed. 

“I’m a demon, ‘m not ‘sweet’,” Lawrence finally grumbled, hair becoming pink. 

“Whatever you say,” Barbara giggled. 

“Exactly. Now let’s find that goddamn clamp and get out of this basement.” 

Of course, the Maitlands tried to protest. They worried that Lawrence had a concussion, but the demon bounced off, searching through the old half rotten boxes before they could voice more their concerns, leaving the couple to exasperatedly help him. 

Eventually, it’s Barbara who ends up being successful in finding the long forgotten box full of Adam’s old tools. Before they left the basement, though, the couple stopped before the pile of wood again. 

In the lamplight, one could see how the wood and concrete beneath it was stained from some dark substance. Barbara took a shuddering breath, flashes of memories of crashing through the floorboards and hitting concrete echoing through her thoughts. Adam swallowed thickly as he remembered the sensation of his bones breaking throughout his whole body. Barbara reached out and clasped Adam’s hand with her’s, and he squeezed it tightly. Quietly Lawrence joined them, and eyed the wood pile, considering setting the damn thing on fire. 

He jumped when Barbara rested her head on his shoulder and squeezed his arm. “Thanks for coming down with us,” she said. Adam nodded in agreement, and moved his arm to rest upon her and Lawrence’s shoulders both. 

“Yeah just… don’t tell anyone. It’s bad enough you two know I’m going soft, I don’t need anyone else knowing,” Lawrence grumbled, shrugging his free shoulder. 

“Sure, sure tough guy,” Adam rolled his eyes. 

“It would be a shame if anyone found out how you’d do such things as trying to cheer us up because you know we’re sad,” Barbara hummed. 

“Oh my god, you guys suck. Never mind, I regret ever being nice to you losers. I want a refund on this dumb friendship thing.” 

With grins, the paranormal beings left the basement, tool in hand, death momentarily forgotten. Though Lawrence did send the boards to their ashy end with a click of his fingers while the Maitlands backs were turned. 

They returned to the kitchen, which was surprisingly quiet, considering the sun was setting outside. “I didn’t realize we were down there that long. It’s so late, where is everyone?” Barbara wondered. 

“Maybe Lyds finally cracked and sacrificed Chuck and D to some deity and ran off with Bea to get Vegas married,” Lawrence said. 

“You think she’d go and get herself married when she believes how ultimately gauche a piece of paper dictating your relationship status is?” Adam replied. 

Lawrence lifted a finger to argue, but then remembered that what Adam said was ultimately true. “Ok, so maybe a double agent took over Lydia’s life-“ he instead began. 

“There you guys are! Come on, we’ve been waiting forever!” Lydia appeared in the kitchen doorway and pushed the three ghosts out the back door to the backyard. Lights were strung along the path leading through the middle of the garden plots to a table Sandy was laying out on curled around the old radio playing songs, where Delia and Charles also waited. 

“What’s all this?” Adam asked, he and Barbara looking around in delight at the decorations. 

Delia joined the group with a huge grin of delight on her face. She grasped Lawrence’s arm and began to gesture wildly as she spoke, “Well, you see, around this time last year, we moved into this house, where we met two ghosts and one demon and had our lives turned upside down. Things are still a little crazy, we’re all still working to align ourselves with each other’s energies, but why not go ahead and celebrate this day, and maybe cheer ourselves up a little bit!” Delia shot the ghost couple a wink. 

“Indeed. It only seems right, considering we’ve all formed a new sort family together,” Charles agreed, putting a hand on Barbara and Adam’s cold shoulders. 

The ghost trio seemed at a loss for words, but Adam and Barbara were smiling with tearful eyes, while Lawrence seemed shocked beyond reaction. Even he had no idea the breathers were going to pull this off, and usually he was pretty good at sussing these secret ideas out. He must’ve been too distracted with trying to cheer the Maitlands up to notice that something else was going on. To further break his uncomprehending mind, the ghosts drew the family into a squeezing hug that included him, and no one seemed to shy away from that. Sandy sighed what may have been a chuckle from the table and Lawrence glared at her for that, slowly regaining control on the confused disarray his mind melted into. 

The hug broke apart, and Lydia dragged Barbara and Adam to the table, where she revealed a pumpkin for the two to decorate, to their utter joy, though the teen refused to reveal where exactly she got the pumpkin from. Lawrence quietly backed off from the five while they were distracted with the festive squash, happy to take a moment to catch his breath. 

He squeezed his chest, feeling it tighten as he thought about what Delia and Charles said. They were celebrating meeting  _ him _ along with the Maitlands? Really? After all that had happened? Sure he may have saved Lydia from jumping off the roof and impaling herself when they first met, but it was for selfish reasons, not because he had cared for her yet. It just didn’t really make sense to him. 

“Lawrence? You don’t want to stab the pumpkin?” Delia’s words cut through the demon’s train of thought. 

Lawrence looked up to the former life coach staring at him worriedly. “I… this is just for the Maitlands, right?” He asked. 

Delia blinked confusedly. “No? We also met you this time last year,” she slowly replied. 

Lawrence shot his head. “But… Why? Why would you want to celebrate that? Fuck, I kicked you out of your house when we first met.” Lawrence grabbed his star and squeezed it, trying to keep himself from blowing up like he did on Lydia. 

Delia slowly reached forward and took Lawrence’s hands, squeezing them reassuringly. “Lawrence,” she said sternly, causing the demon to straighten up his hunched over shoulders. “It doesn’t matter anymore. All of that is in the past. We’ve all worked through it, haven’t we?” 

“But… but I’m a fucking piece of shit! I-I make stupid gross jokes all the time, I ignore every social rule there is, I cause trouble just cause I’m bored, call people names and shit-“ Lawrence grinned a maniacally bittersweet grimace, showing off everyone one of his razor sharp, inhuman teeth that were nothing like Delia’s. 

Suddenly he found himself cradled in a gentle hug. His unnecessary breath caught in his throat, he could smell the incense and flowery perfume that radiated from Delia’s skin. Delia put a hand on his head, the other rubbing soothingly up and down his back. “I know it’s scary. It’s so hard to let others see you when so many have rejected you before. Have hurt you before,” Delia’s arm squeezed tighter. Slowly, Lawrence brought his own arms up. “But this is real. No one is lying. We all like you, Lawrence. You cause trouble, yes, and it’s fun! Can all the pranks get annoying sometimes? Sure. Would it hurt if you learned to be slightly more polite? No. But that’s the thing, it doesn’t really matter if you change or not. We like you as you are. We consider you family.” 

Lawrence swallowed thickly, unsure of what to say. “I don’t get scared, I’m a demon,” he said half heartedly. 

Delia giggled, “Of course, hun. Not scared at all. Now come on, let’s put your knife skills to use!” Delia led him back to the pumpkin carving. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know I worry sometimes that I may make everyone a lil ooc, but it’s too late brain! I already wrote the damn chapter, you can’t make me doubt myself now! You should’ve done it before when I was actually writing it!   
> It honestly probably isn’t as bad as I worry it is, it’s probably just me being my own worst critic TwT  
> And quick note if you didn’t see on tumblr, I’m gonna be updating this fic on Fridays alone now. Give myself some time now that I don’t have extra chapters, so I don’t feel the need to take a big break again, yknow?   
> If you’d like to see these kinds up updates on fic writing, you can follow me on tumblr [@daydreaming-jessi](https://daydreaming-jessi.tumblr.com/)


	39. Something’s Off...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Do people read this?  
> Anyways, Lydia has a strange feeling, and helps the Maitlands with some files, and they talk about feelings.

“Darrin wants to find an old ouija board and take it to all the haunted locations he knows of and see if they actually work or if they really are just a scam,” Keith read off his phone. 

Bea and Lydia looked up from the book of photography they were perusing together to stare at Keith. “But he knows they don’t work, since we used one before,” Bea said slowly. 

“Yeah, I’m pointing out the holes in his logic right now, but this is Darrin we’re talking about,” Keith chuckled. 

“Keep us updated on any new development,” Lydia leaned back into Bea’s side to continue reading the book in the other girl’s laps. 

The three were slouched out on a concrete staircase, looking out to the park they were just taking pictures in. Keith had finished tugging his sweatshirt back on, feeling the autumn bite in the air, when he heard his phone go off and found Darrin spamming him with a newfound interest in the old board game. 

“Wait, I’ve found out the truth. He really just wants one because they look cool,” Keith read out. 

Bea leaned her head back and laughed, the sun catching her dolphin bite piercing while Lydia watched for a moment. “I knew it. It was purely a desire for aesthetics, and a mainstream one at that. No wonder he tried to hide it,” she said to hide the fact that she was staring at Bea. 

“Ok, he can have mine since I don’t use it anymore, ” Bea said when she finally calmed down. 

“Can I ask why you don’t use it anymore?” Lydia asked with a smirk. 

“You can not,” Bea answered, a shadow of a smile still curling her lips as she closed the photography book. 

Lydia nodded her head, “Fair enough.” 

“Well, thanks Bea, Darrin will love it,” he said, tapping out one last text on his phone before pocketing it. 

“You did give up your whole afternoon to be our model, so it’s only fair I give you a gift you can give your boyfriend,” Bea replied. 

“I mean, it is nice to feel like I’m photogenic enough to be a model, even if I’m not being paid,” Keith shrugged. 

“You have a keen ability of appearing otherworldly when needed, giving these photos a haunting aspect that I hunt for every day,” Lydia hummed. Bea nodded in agreement. 

This made Keith pause. “Ok I’m gonna need to see what you mean, because now I’m really curious.” 

Lydia smirked, and pulled her borrowed school digital camera out and showed Keith the photos. 

His eyebrows hitched up in surprise at the artistic images. “Damn, okay! I see what you mean now. And you said you sucked at digital cameras,” he grinned teasingly at the goth. 

“We’ll see. I have to learn how to edit these on digital programs rather than in a darkroom, so I still have a chance to mangle these,” Lydia shrugged, putting the camera away once more. 

“You doubt yourself too much. Have some confidence in your quick learning, you did great with the theatre stuff I showed you,” Keith replied. 

“Yes, keep going. I will no longer be the only one trying to convince Lydia to expand outside of her comfort zone,” Bea leaned over, her dark brown eyes flashing ominously over the rim of her glasses. 

“No, the comfort zone is so nice, though,” Lydia pretended to whine. While the other two continued to joke, Lydia felt the hairs on the back of her neck stand up. It felt like someone was watching her, their gaze burning into the back of her head. She discreetly looked around, slightly on edge. There didn’t seem to be anyone staring at her, but the feeling of unease lingered still. 

“My ride's here, so I better get going. My sibling will kill me for making them wait much longer,” Bea hummed, bringing Lydia back to the conversation at hand. She stood up and offered a hand to the other two. 

“Yeah, I should head out too,” Keith nodded, taking the offer. 

Lydia did as well, readjusting the school camera bag over her shoulder. “Thanks again for modeling for us,” she said to Keith. 

“Yeah, it was fun. See you guys tomorrow,” he waved farewell before heading off at a brisk jog. 

“See you,” Bea squeezed Lydia's hand with a shy smile before turning and walking away. 

Lydia couldn’t stop her grin as she said goodbye, heart quivering at the warm pressure that still lingered on her hand. 

The feeling abruptly turned to unease once more as the paranoid feeling returned in full force. Lydia whipped around, and for a moment she thought she saw someone duck out of sight in the distance, but she couldn’t be sure if it was just her mind playing tricks on her. Unnerved, she turned and started to quickly walk back home. 

When Lydia walked in, she found Adam and Barbara in the living room, sorting through an assortment of papers and files all at varying degrees of age and stainage spilling out on the coffee table before them. “Hey,” Lydia said slowly, setting her stuff down as she moved closer to investigate the mess of files. 

“Oh! Hello Lydia, how was your day at school?” Adam and Barbara looked up from the papers they were reading in surprise, but they both smiled at the sight of the teen. 

Lydia raised an eyebrow. “Oh you know, it was another day of learning a  _ lot  _ of useless facts. Now, I guess I have to ask. What’re you guys doing?” She lifted a piece of paper and glanced through it. It seemed to be a document on someone, dates and names written out hastily in scrawling handwriting. 

Barbara and Adam exchanged looks, making Lydia even more suspicious. “This is something Lawrence sort of let us help him with. And it’s been taking a while. A long while actually. And Adam and I thought maybe we should try and figure it out on our own time as well, since we don’t really have much else to do,” Barbara explained, clasping her hands together. 

Lydia looked through a file, absentmindedly flicking through the papers inside. “So what exactly is it? Some sort of revenge list of his?” 

“No, you’re the only one with revenge lists around here, Lydia,” Adam replied flatly. 

“If you think Beej doesn’t have a revenge list, then you need to ask him about his burn book,” Lydia grinned. 

“It’s files for people in the Netherworld. Lawrence has been looking for his father with these. He knows that Shoggoth will lead him somewhere, so we’ve been looking for any kind of sign for that,” Barbara brought the conversation back to the topic at hand. 

Lydia’s eyes brightened. “He’s been letting you guys help him with his dad? Has he told you anything about this mysterious lost father figure? I’ve gotten nowhere with it.” 

“Bits and pieces. It’s a little touch and go on that subject with him, honestly,” Adam replied, pulling his reading glasses off to let his eyes take a break. 

“But it means something that he’s still looking for the man, doesn’t it?” Barbara hummed, leaning back into the couch. 

“I guess. We’ll see what happens when we finally find Shoggoth,” Adam shrugged. 

Lydia was quiet for a moment, tapping her finger thoughtfully on the papers in her hand. “Do you… do you think he’d leave to go find his dad?” She asked quietly. 

Barbara and Adam stilled before looking up to the teen worriedly. “Well… maybe. It, well, it’s his choice,” Barbara said gently. 

Lydia’s brow knit together, disappointment obvious in her face. “But… this is his home now, isn’t it? We’re his family, not… not some random jerk that left him when he was a kid,” Lydia dropped the papers onto the coffee table. 

“Lydia, it’s complicated. It’ll be up to Lawrence what he does. Maybe he’ll want to go see his father, maybe not. Maybe that means he’ll be gone forever, maybe not. All we can do is support whatever choice Lawrence makes,” Adam stood and rubbed a comforting hand on Lydia’s arm. 

She leaned into the ghost’s comforting, cold form. “But what if he makes a dumb choice? He does that a lot,” she refused to look up, her heart sinking deeper and deeper in her chest. 

“This is just something you don’t really get to have a say in, you know?” Barbara picked up another piece of paper, gently worrying it’s edges, “Even if you worry about how much of a good person your friend’s father is, and you worry that if he does go meet this stranger, that stranger may turn out worse than his already horribly abusive mother, because what kind of person would want to have a family with someone like  _ her  _ and-and then  _ leaves  _ a defenseless child with her-“

“Barbara,” Adam cut into his wife’s building up tangent. 

Barbara blushed, crinkling the paper in her tight grip. “Y-you just… don’t get a say,” she finished. 

Lydia did not look convinced, and now Barbara looked doubtful as well. Adam let out a sigh, rubbing his eyes tiredly. “Look, I know it’s a scary thing, but… we don’t know what Lawrence will do. He deserves to have a choice in all of this though, doesn’t he? I… I know I would,” Adam said. 

Lydia crossed her arms and looked away while Barbara’s uncertain look turned sympathetic. “I guess,” Lydia finally relented, picking up another piece of paper. “Besides, I would never pass up the chance to look at old dead people’s records,” she added. 

“You want to help with this?” Adam and Barbara blinked in surprise. They were used to people being put off by reading through old documents, rather than excited and wanting to dive in. 

“Well duh. I love that demon too, of course I’m gonna help with this,” Lydia replied, glancing up at them from the paper she was reading. The couple smiled softly at her words, and the three went to their work. 

While glancing through sheafs of paper, Lydia felt a familiar shiver run up her spine once again, and she whipped her head up and looked around for the source of the chil. The Maitlands were too busy reading documents to notice her unease. She saw nothing, just their home lit up by the afternoon sun. 

“Lydia? You okay?” Adam noticed the teen staring intently around them, uneasy. 

“I… I felt like someone was watching me earlier, and it feels like it’s back now,” Lydia said slowly, her eyes scouring every shadowy corner. 

Barbara and Adam looked around as well, but couldn’t see anything. “Maybe there’s just something in the air today,” Barbara suggested. 

Lydia slowly nodded, but she didn’t look convinced, her eyes still darting around, searching the room before them. “Maybe…” She shook her head and moved the conversation on to distract herself. “So… why are you guys suddenly so intent on finding Beej’s dad?” 

Both ghosts blushed, setting up Lydia’s suspicions. “Well, it’s just… he’s been very kind, teaching us and, well, it just seems like something we should do,” Barbara said, her shoulders rising up. 

“Exactly. We want to be good friends to him,” Adam agreed. 

Lydia stared at them both, making the ghosts shift uncomfortably, and slowly her lips stretched up in a grin. “You both like him, don’t you?” She asked. 

Barbara and Adam exchanged sheepish looks. “How obvious was it?” Barbara asked, placing a hand on her reddening cheek. 

“Oh my god!” Lydia fell backwards cackling. 

“Now there’s no need for that,” Adam huffed, he and Barbara sinking in on themselves embarrassedly. 

“This is just, I can’t believe it! I am  _ never  _ letting this go! I was right! I was right and he can never say otherwise!” Lydia clasped her hands together, grinning widely. 

“...what?” The couple exchanged confused looks. 

Lydia sat back up, regaining her composure. “Ok, so since you’re my ghost parents, I’ll just go ahead and say it. Beej has had a crush on you guys since day  _ one _ . He’s been pining for you harder than an actual pine tree.” 

“ _ Really _ ?” Adam squeaked. 

“Yeah, it was actually kind of obvious, considering how weird he gets around you,” Lydia grinned. 

“We were a little worried that it was just Lawrence being himself,” Barbara smiled faintly. 

“Hell no, that doofus is over the moon for you two. He just thinks repressing his emotions will make it go away,” Lydia set her chin in her hands, grinning widely. 

“Well, it would help us out if he would reciprocate anything we tried,” Adam sighed, his eyes narrowing. 

Lydia nearly choked on the laughter she struggled to contain. “Oh my  _ God _ , you two really have been flirting with him! I told him you were! Of course that’s how you were flirting with him, it’s you two! He should know better than to doubt me.” 

“Maybe we should just talk to him, rather than testing the waters, huh?” Barbara’s embarrassed smile turned more humorous, as she squeezed Adam’s hand. 

“I don’t think this is something Lydia really cares to hear about,” Adam squeaked, looking more and more mortified as the conversation continued. 

“Wait, no hold on, that dingus has been moaning to me for months about this, you have to promise me you’ll do something so he’ll finally stop whining to me about it,” Lydia quickly straightened up, her eyes quite serious. 

Barbara began to laugh, and Adam closed his eyes and shook his head, but he was smiling amusedly now. “Let’s get back to looking, huh?” Barbara chuckled, pulling another file into her lap. 

“Fine, fine. I’m still holding you two to telling him, though,” Lydia flopped over, pulling another paper to look through. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this was going to be longer, but I CAN’T for the life of me get this next part down. I felt bad taking so long, so imma just post this part now and keep working on the next part aha, but first I believe I shall lay down. -collapses from writers block-  
> You’ll find me on tumblr [@daydreaming-jessi](https://daydreaming-jessi.tumblr.com/)


	40. Mommy’s Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lawrence wonders where Sandy is and feels on edge. Things rapidly change.

Lawrence should’ve known this was going to be a bad day from the moment when he couldn’t find Sandy anywhere. He searched in every nook and cranny he knew she loved to hide in, but the sandworm seemed to have just disappeared. On top of that, Lawrence just felt like something was watching him the entire time. He couldn’t find the source for this mysterious observer, and to have Sandy missing on top of it left a bad taste in his mouth. He tried his best to ignore the growing unease, but centuries of experience had taught him to listen to his instincts and it was hard to just suddenly stop doing that. 

When he heard Lydia coming home and chatting with the Maitlands downstairs, he considered staying away and continue skulking in the shadows until he figured out what was going on. But while his instincts to stay hidden were strong, his desire for everyone’s attention focusing on him was stronger. So he emerged from his skulking, trotting down the wall next to the stairs to the first floor, and was surprised to see Lydia along with the Maitlands in the living room, looking through familiar paperwork. “I should’ve known you two would rope Scarecrow into your weird paperwork addiction,” he snorted. 

Barbara and Adam both jumped and stared at him wide eyed, while Lydia stifled her laughter. He must’ve missed some inside joke, which meant he needed to make one of his own to feel important. “Unfortunately I am just as much of a nerd as they are, BJ,” she said with a smirk. 

Lawrence pressed the back of his hand to his head, pretending to almost keel over. “Say it ain’t so! How could this be? How could I be so blind to the truth? Lydia Deetz? A lame nerd? Who could have guessed!” 

Lydia bopped the dramatic demon’s stomach with a folder. “Quiet you, or else I’ll glue your mouth shut while you’re sleeping.” 

“Ooh, tasty!” Lawrence grinned, ruffling the teen’s hair. 

“I don’t think I’ll ever quite fully understand how they express their emotions to each other,” Barbara whispered to Adam. 

He simply shrugged, the corner of his lips rising up. “Must be a sibling thing. The knowledge we’ll never know, having grown up as only childs, I suppose.” 

Barbara looked back to Lawrence and grew curious. “Where’s Sandy?” 

Lawrence shrugged, feeling his earlier frustration and dread inevitably return. “Hell if I know. I may have gotten that sandworm to not eat me, but I have yet to tame the wild animal she is at heart.” 

“That’s a little odd. She usually says hi to Adam at least once a day,” Barbara pursed her lips and looked around, as if she could find the exterrestrial worm lounging around above typical eye level. 

“She might’ve found whatever weird thing could be skulking around, and eating it,” Lydia said. 

“Weird thing?” Lawrence raised an eyebrow. 

“Yeah, I’ve been feeling like something’s been watching me since I got out of school, and it’s gotten worse since I’ve come home,” she explained. 

Lawrence felt his dread worsen. It was one thing to feel like he was being spied on, but now Lydia was experiencing that too? The thought ‘something is wrong’ was now marching nonstop through his head. 

“Well, I think I’ve put off doing my homework long enough. I’ll be upstairs if someone needs me,” Lydia said, pulling Lawrence from his thoughts as she got up and started for the stairs. She shot a strange look Lawrence couldn’t decipher at the Maitlands as she passed them. 

Adam and Barbara exchanged a look, and both looked up to Lawrence about to speak when things rapidly took a turn. 

Lydia was hopping up the stairs when the shadows near her bulged upward, like a boil about to burst. A pair bony hands emerged and clasped the teens mouth and wrapped her up in a tight hold, while a gaunt ghoulish body followed. 

For one moment Lawrence was about to tear this stranger apart with the hands emerging from the floorboards, but the stranger tightened their clasp on Lydia’s face with surprising strength, making the teen wince in pain. “Ah, one twist and suddenly little girlie here will have a snapped neck. Can breathers still breathe when their trachea is broken into two?” They asked. Lawrence froze, and in his periphery saw Adam and Barbara stop from their frantic run to help as well. The stranger cocked their head, lips twisting upwards in a hideous attempt at a smile. “As I thought. You sicced that little sand beast on Juno when she threatened young Lenore wannabe here, whatever would happen if she were in danger?” The stranger batted their eyes, though the effect was a bit lost with how far sunken in their eyes actually were. 

“What the fuck is this?” Lawrence growled, a red haze starting to color his sight. 

The stranger bared their teeth wider. “Someone here is in very big trouble. I’m the one they call when they need to keep the situation under control as they deal with it. And Juno can’t risk you blowing this situation to kingdom come once more.” 

Lawrence felt his fear douse the anger burning through his core. 

“Juno isn’t welcome here,” Barbara said, her voice hard as flint. 

“Juno doesn’t care. You are holding her spawn here, and so here is where she will come knocking.” 

Lydia began to try and kick out at the stranger, struggling to break free from her grasp. For one second the stranger peered down to readjust her grip, and Barbara and Adam tried to take the chance and rush the stranger, but her eyes flashed up lightning quick. 

The two ghosts were rocketed back, frozen in place, with barely a touch from the stranger’s hand. Lawrence stared at the paralyzed ghosts, rage bubbling through his veins. Lydia, mouth temporarily uncovered while this happened, yelled out, “Beej, get yourselves out of here!” But then the hand was back, and pinching harder on the teen’s jaw. 

“I wouldn’t. Juno would be so displeased if she came here to find you gone, who knows what she might do to this poor little girl here,” the stranger grinned widely. 

Lawrence knew exactly what Juno would do. He stayed put, thinking quickly. “Whatever Juno’s offered you, I can give you better. Just say the price,” he said. 

The stranger cocked their head again. “Oh, I know what you can do. And I know that you will not be one to stand in the way of Juno’s wrath should I turn on her. Of the two of you, I like my chances better with her.” 

“I fed her to a sandworm, what better recommendation could you need?” Lawrence asked, spreading his hands out imploringly. 

“Then you ran away when she showed back up in the Netherworld, tail between your legs,” the stranger shrugged. “You’re an unreliable card, and I deal in absolutes. Now.” The stranger’s eyes focused on Barbara and Adam. They cracked their neck, and Adam suddenly straightened up, his limbs moving jerkily as he crossed the foyer, plucking up a pen from an end table. His possessed body drew up a door and knocked on it three times, echoing loudly throughout the quiet house. 

The stencil door croaked open, green light filtering from its unknown depths, stale smelling fog spilling out from the other worldly portal. Juno stepped through the door, her red eyes cold and calculating as ever. 

Lawrence sucked in a deep breath, feeling his chest compress tightly. It’d been a bit since he’s felt this, he realized. 

Juno tentatively moved forward, falling once more into her faux old lady routine, her eyes sizing up the house critically, her top lip lifting up in disgust at the quaint state surrounding her. “I should’ve known you would come back here. Your obsession with love fits right in with all of  _ this _ ,” she waved her hand at the photos on the walls, the knickknacks and well worn furniture. 

“The area is secure, Miss Juno, as I promised. The sandworm won’t be bothering you this time, I made sure of it,” the stranger crowed, trying to keep a tight grip on Lydia while the teen wildly thrashed to break free. Lawrence felt ill at the implications that could possibly mean of Sandy’s fate. 

Juno clicked her fingers, a lit cigarette suddenly appearing in hand. “Yes, yes, good work or whatever, Mara. Now keep the brat still until I’ve properly dealt with this.” She took a heavy drag of it, cigarette smoke mixing with the Netherworld fog leaking in from the portal door still, and casting Lawrence back to a time when that was all he had ever smelled. He kept his eyes locked with the floor, trying to resist the nervous energy coursing through his body, itching. He could hear her shoes clacking along closer, closer, the floorboards underneath her petite form creaking heavily from the mere weight of the energy radiating from her. 

“Really, playing family Lawrence? I thought you were better than this, I  _ raised _ you to be better than this. Who do you think you’re fooling with this act?” Juno plucked a photo up and sneering at it, before tossing it over her shoulder. Lawrence hunched over further and further as she spoke, drew closer, his hair draining of its previous red until it stood stark white. Juno growled, and her hand snatched out, making Lawrence hiss with pain as she clutched a handful of his hair. “Enough with the color changing shit! Are you even trying to keep yourself in check at this point?” She bared her teeth as she spoke, and Lawrence tried his best to pull as far back from her as possible. 

“Stop it! Let Adam and Barb go, and just leave us alone!” Lydia finally yelled out when she finally wriggled her face out of Mara’s grasp. 

Juno’s red eyes locked onto the teen, filling with an inferno of rage. “You. You did this, didn’t you? You’re the one that undid all my work to make him a perfect demon. You made him soft, played his idiot naivety to your whims and made him into this mess,” Juno let go of Lawrence as she spoke, and the demon scrambled away. 

“If you mean actually cared about him, yeah. That’s what we did. We’re not all a heartless demon like you,” Lydia spat. 

Juno threw her head back and laughed, a cold grating sound. “Cared for him! You think I’m that stupid? You’re little mind tricks may work on him, but I’m an old hat at this game, child.” 

Lawrence felt his head swirl at the words coming from his mother’s mouth. What… what was she talking about? 

Juno turned to him, her eyes flashing with disappointment, like they always did when he said something stupid. He must’ve asked that aloud. Juno gestured at Mara who clamped a hand back over Lydia’s mouth before she could speak again. 

Juno turned back and her face softened, but her eyes were as cruel as ever. “Oh, Beetlejuice. Did you really think they loved you?” 

Lawrence stiffened. His shoulders trembled as he looked over to the Maitlands and Lydia. Slowly his eyes turned downward, the uncertainty that always dragged him down with that question rising up in full force. “I don’t know,” he mumbled. 

Juno caressed his cheek with the back of her hand, her eyes pitying, but still so, so cold. “You know they’re playing you for a fool, lowering your guard until you’re right where they want you. They don’t love you Lawrence. They want your power for their own gains.” 

Lawrence clenched his hands, hair turning a myriad of colors, his mind racing as Juno’s words sunk in further and further. That couldn’t be right, that just couldn’t be. She was lying, right? That’s what she did. That’s what Juno always did. Right? 

Lydia fought back against Mara’s grip even harder, feet flailing out and kicking against the ghost. Her voice eked out from behind the ghost’s hand in unintelligible, muffled shouts, her eyes blazing with fury. The Maitlands were frozen in place, but anyone could see the anger and desperation in their eyes. 

Lawrence got enough of a grip to stand up, and looked to his mother. “Let them go. They… they were just helping me out. You don’t have to punish them too,” he said. 

Juno’s raised an unimpressed brow. “Lawrence, you’re letting your emotions get ahead of you. Perhaps I need to remind you of what happened the last time you let that happened,” she sighed. 

She flicked her hand, and Lawrence felt blinding pain shoot through his chest. He let out a cry, falling to his knees. He gripped the white hot center of pain, struggling to take more than a few gasping breaths at a time. Distantly, he heard Lydia screaming out to him, struggling even harder, and felt a familiar flare of ghostly power from behind him. 

“Remember this, Lawrence? I was surprised when I read the files about your death. Then I remembered it was  _ you _ , my poor fool of a son that trusts too easily,” Juno’s voice cut through the pain, and he felt her cup his chin and forced his head up to look at her. “They tricked you Lawrence. They played you for a fool obsessed with being loved, and you fell right into their trap. Right when you thought they accepted you, that they loved you,  _ this _ happened.” The burning intensified, and Lawrence doubled over, feeling ready to be sick. 

Mara let out a pained gasp, snatching their bitten arm back, and Lydia landed on the floor. Lydia instantly barreled forward, and Juno quickly stepped away from the oncoming teen. Lydia threw herself over Lawrence, trying to protect him from any further attacks. “Stop it! You’re hurting him!” She screamed, furious tears spilling down her cheeks. 

“ _ I’m _ not the one that did this. Have you forgotten, breather?  _ You _ were the one that stabbed him when he came to life,” Juno responded coldly. 

Lawrence felt dizzy. All he could feel was the excruciating pain rippling through his chest. Lydia’s hands grasped desperately at his shoulders, her eyes frenzied with panic as she struggled to find some way to stop the pain making Lawrence collapse further in on himself. He felt sick. The pain wasn’t stopping, it just kept going and going. God, why couldn’t it stop? Why can’t he just pass out already? 

Another surge of power, and finally the Maitlands broke through the spell keeping them frozen in place. They both stumbled on their feet, drained from breaking through the paranormal binding, but the couple still moved forward to the teen and demon, moving to stand between them and Juno and Mara. Mara froze in fear around the power the ghost couple displayed, while Juno watched on, unimpressed as always. 

“You made your point,” Barbara wheezed, hair hanging in a wild curtain around her shoulders. 

“Just stop!” Adam growled, glasses still crooked on his face. 

Juno narrowed her eyes, but then snapped her fingers. The pain in Lawrence's chest dulled to an echo, and he slumped forward, energy sapped. The three pairs of arms holding tightly onto him was all that kept him from fully collapsing to the floor. 

Juno slowly circled the group, hands clasped behind her back. “You’re really gonna keep trying to play that whole caring act, are you? I know my son is an idiot, but even he should be able to see how flimsy it is.” 

“What are you even talking about? This isn’t some sick game we’re playing on him,” Barbara’s hands tightened on Lawrence’s arm, her eyes glaring with protective fury. 

“Oh, then I suppose you didn’t have him teach you about the abilities you held? You didn’t ply him with care and affection so he’d give you information in return? I know how you fugitive ghosts work. You only care about one thing, and it’s certainly not others,” Juno snorted. 

“We didn’t! We didn’t,” Adam looked down to Lawrence desperately, hoping he wouldn’t have to convince the demon of this, that he knew just how much the family really did care for him. 

Mara snorted. “That’s believable,” they muttered to themself with another hideous grin. 

“The only one here that does evil shit like that is you!” Lydia hissed, standing up and glaring at Juno. 

Juno leered over the teen. “Don’t act coy, breather. No one leaves the Netherworld, and you would hate to be dragged back down there. So why not recruit the demon that protected you last time? Twist him around your little fingers and guarantee you have a guard dog that will keep you from your punishment. I know how this works, and I know my son is stupid enough to not know how this works.” 

“He’s smart enough to know to feed you to sandworm instead of listening to your bullshit,” Lydia shot back. 

The air around Juno became fiery, as if it were some kind of oven. Mara took a nervous step back from the older demon. “Watch. Your. Tongue.” She lifted her hand, about to do something to the rebellious teen before her. 

Lawrence knew that they were walking a dangerous line. Juno’s temper was worse than his, and she had no reason to hold back her wrath. He also knew that she wasn’t going to leave. Not after what he’d done. And she would get her way, no matter what that entailed, especially since she now had backup desperate to please her. 

Lawrence couldn’t let Juno hurt them. Maybe she was right, maybe he had been a fool this entire time. But they still looked after him all this time. That had to mean something. He had to keep them safe from her. Even if he had to hurt them himself in order to protect them from the hell of pain Juno could cause. 

“Wait,” Lawrence stood, suddenly calm. Juno paused, hand held up mid gesture, as she looked back coolly at Lawrence. Lawrence ran a hand through his hair, mind still buzzing. “You’re right,” he finally said. 

Juno raised an eyebrow. “Oh? Have you finally realized the truth, Beetlejuice?” Her maroon painted lips lifted up in a smug smirk. 

Beetlejuice nodded. “I was just kidding myself. You were right. I… I’ll come back now,” he said. 

“Beej, what are you doing?” Lydia stared wide eyed at the demon in disbelief. 

“It was fun to believe in the delusion while it lasted, but it’s time to face the truth, kid,” Beetlejuice replied, refusing to look back at the others. 

“Lawrence, no!” Barbara gasped, the three of them becoming more distraught as Beetlejuice began to move away from them towards Juno. 

“Finally, there’s my good boy. About time you come back to reality. Now it’s time to go back. We have business to take care of,” Juno said ominously as she turned to the door where Mara awaited them. 

Beetlejuice was about to move forward when he felt two weights grab onto his arms. He looked down and was shocked to see the Maitlands holding onto him for dear life. 

“Don’t go,” Barbara whispered, her eyes squeezed shut. 

“We love you,” Adam’s eyes were filled with earnesty and tears. 

For a moment, Beetlejuice pictured this to mean what he  _ wanted _ it to mean. His heart felt a little flutter of hope from the way they were looking at him. But he couldn’t follow it through. He had to keep them safe from Juno. 

“Wish I could believe you A-dog, cause I did too,” he instead said, hoping that they understood what he really meant. Then he slipped out of their now loose grips. 

He walked up to his mother awaiting him at the door, looking disgusted by the Maitlands display, and Mara stood next to her, looking uncertain. 

“Beej, don’t-don’t do this. Please,” Lydia stood, her face heartbroken. Beetlejuice wanted to kick himself. Looks like he just couldn’t keep a promise to himself. He just kept hurting his little sister. 

“I’ll miss you most of all, Scarecrow,” he tried to smile his usual shit eating grin, but Lydia just looked even closer to tears. 

Juno grabbed Beetlejuice’s arm. “Let this be a lesson to you breather. Stop getting into business that’s not your own,” she sneered, then she shoved Beetlejuice through the door. 

“Lawrence! We love you, come back!” He heard Lydia cry out one last time as the void swallowed him up. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can see now why this was taking me so long. Yeah. Yeah.  
> Sorry :I  
> Edit: OH ALSO ALSO! While I was whittling away at this i took a look back at the first few chapters of this fic and did some major editing. So if you go back and feel like you’re going crazy cause everything’s different, I’m here to assure you you’re not ^^  
> You can find me on tumblr [@daydreaming-jessi](https://daydreaming-jessi.tumblr.com/) and yell at me there.


	41. Promise You’ll Come Back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adam and Barbara decide to take action, and Lydia is faced with her past trauma.

The house was frighteningly quiet. For a long moment, no one moved, frozen in place. Slowly, Lydia stepped forward, moving to where the door into the Netherworld sealed shut. She ran her hand over the surface of the wall, but there was nothing there. 

Finally she broke the haunting silence, “We need to go after him.” 

Barbara and Adam both blinked, uncertain. “Lydia, he… we-” Adam slowly began. 

Lydia whirled around, tears in her eyes. “We have to, he needs us! He doesn’t really believe her!” She shouted. 

“Lydia, you can’t go after him,” Barbara’s voice wavered, but she looked convinced of her own words. 

“He needs us! If _we_ don’t go save him, no one else will!” Lydia shot back. 

“And who will save you if you get caught? You barely got away from Juno last time you went to the Netherworld! You can’t go there!” Adam replied. 

Lydia ducked her head, shoulders rising up tensely. “He didn’t mean it. You can’t just give up on him like this,” her voice sounded close to tears. 

“We’re not. We will never give up on that demon, not now, not ever,” Barbara said while clasping Lydia’s shoulders, her entire being burning with determination. 

Lydia looked up to the two of them, and realized, “You’re going after him.” 

“Yes, but you aren’t,” Adam replied with finality. 

“Why? He’s my brother!” Lydia argued. 

“You go to the Netherworld again, and Juno won’t let you go! Do you really think Lawrence would want that?” Barbara replied. 

“And if _you_ don’t come back?” 

Lydia froze upon saying this, her eyes widening with fright at the thought of losing the ghost couple forever. Barbara and Adam exchanged a look, and the two pulled the teen into a tight hug. Lydia clutched onto them and felt her throat close up, emotions a mess from this stressful afternoon. “Promise me you’ll come back. All of you. Don’t make me lose more family,” Lydia whispered, clutching onto the ghost’s cold clothes. 

“We promise,” Adam said. 

“And we’ll bring Lawrence back,” Barbara added. 

A thought occurred to Lydia that could help assuage her fear. “Could sandworms go to the Netherworld?” She thought aloud. 

Barbara and Adam took a pause at her question. “If any could, it’ll be Sandy,” Barbara said. 

“Sandy!” Adam jolted, and the three stared at each other wide eyed as they remembered what Mara had said before. They tore off, looking for the missing sandworm. 

When they found her, she was muzzled out in the garden, slightly battered from a fight, writhing against the hair-like bonds entrapping her in place. The ‘rope’ had been tied so tightly it dug into the sandworm’s skin, leaving red welts and marks behind. Lydia fetched a knife and scissors, and Barbara held the sandworm still while Adam carefully worked the bonds apart, working hard to keep from injuring Sandy further. When they finally let her free, Sandy immediately started to dive for the house, searching desperately for Beetlejuice. 

“Hold on, girl! Don’t move so fast, you’re hurt,” Adam quickly scooped the extraterrestrial creature up, gently cradling her in his arms. Sandy whined, panic causing her eyes to roll as she weakly strained against the ghost’s grip. 

“He’s gone, Sandy. But we’re going to get him back,” Barbara reassured her, carefully running a hand down the sandworm’s back. 

“She’s in pretty rough shape,” Lydia noted with uncertainty. 

“It may be best to leave her here so she can rest,” Adam said, eyebrows knitting together with worry as Sandy sunk further into his arms, exhausted. 

“We’ll just have to watch after ourselves in the Netherworld. Let’s get going,” Barbara nodded. 

Barbara pulled her green cardigan on and tied her hair back, and Adam carefully tucked his reading glasses away in his shirt pocket, all while directing Lydia on tending Sandy’s wounds. They set Sandy up on the couch, and gathered together what little they remembered Lawrence telling them would help protect them should they run into trouble. Chalk for drawing doors, bundled away in their pockets, salt for protection from others, their handbook for any possible tips and pointers in navigating the Netherworld, and just in case, a rusty handled knife. “Where did you get _this_?” Barbara asked in shock when Lydia emerged from the basement with it and handed it to her. 

“You think Beej wouldn’t have a whole stock of weapons hidden around here?” Lydia replied, too calmly in the Maitlands' opinion. 

“Ok we’re going to have a talk about that later,” Adam said, pinching the bridge of his nose. 

When they gathered everything, the three returned to the living room, before the spot where the previous intruders had disappeared to. “Be careful,” Lydia said, her voice unsteady. Sandy chattered nervously, shifting uneasily on the couch as she sensed the tension crackling through the air. 

“You know us, we’re usually too careful,” Adam tried to joke lightly, but the nerves hanging in the air made his sentiment ring hollow. 

“We’ll be back soon,” Barbara promised instead. 

Lydia nodded, though she still looked frustrated. She hated staying behind, not being able to do something more to help. It was too much like when her mother fell ill. Lydia could do nothing but watch one of the most important people in her life fade away right before her eyes. Now she had to stand back and watch once more. Her next therapy session was definitely going to be rough. 

They kissed the top of Sandy’s head goodbye, and Adam drew the door and knocked three times. Green lit up the living room, and fog filtered in once more. Barbara and Adam both stilled, their eyes glazing over for a moment. Lydia tensed and started to move forward to them, and Sandy let out a worried hiss, but then the couple shook themselves out of their trance, and clasped their hands tightly together, blocking out of the siren call of the door. 

“Good luck… I love you guys,” Lydia added, hugging Barbara and Adam tightly one last time. 

Barbara and Adam gave her one last reassuring smile, their tight grips the only sign of the fear and uncertainty lying beneath their calm. “We love you too, Lydia.” 

Then they turned. “Let’s go get Lawrence back,” Barbara breathed deeply, squaring her shoulders. Adam nodded in agreement, and they clasped hands tightly together, as they always did when faced with the unknown. They stepped forward, and through the door to the Netherworld.   
  
Lydia and Sandy were left alone in the living room, feeling as if they’d only made a mistake. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! So I had almost finished a chapter for last Friday, but then I realized that I could do it WAY better if I did it differently, and basically had to store that chapter and start over again, and felt too burned out to keep working that week. So that’s why this update took so long.  
> And I FEEL BAD CAUSE THIS ONE IS SHORT, but I felt like keeping it combined with the next chapter just made it feel like it was moving along too quickly. I promise next one is going to be longer though >:0  
> You can find me on tumblr [@daydreaming-jessi](https://daydreaming-jessi.tumblr.com/) Where I long for more beetlejuice content :’)


	42. In Which Several Plans are Made

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Maitlands arrive at the Netherworld and meet a friend. Charles and Delia come home to a very worried Lydia and Sandy, and plans are hatched, though some may not be as wise as others.

Adam and Barbara weren’t sure what to expect of the Netherworld, but they were still surprised by what they were greeted with when they felt their feet settle onto solid ground. A void yawned before them, great strange white shapes stretched out in the distance, fog creeping along obscuring the floor beneath them. It was like they were both inside a cave, with how stale the air they unnecessarily breathed in was, and yet the world stretched around them like the empty night sky, a never ending abyss that they had no hope of ever getting through. 

“Oh jeez,” Adam breathed, his eyes widening with shock. 

“Is this… is this really where people go when they die?” Barbara asked timidly, looking around with uncertainty at the alien world they stepped into. 

“I’m suddenly a  _ lot  _ more grateful to Lawrence for keeping us from here,” Adam said, unease starting to crawl up his spine. 

Footsteps echoed through the air. Barbara and Adam leapt close together, clutching at their homemade defenses, closely watching as a figure appeared in the shadows, walking closer, closer…

A man appeared, wearing a strangely extravagant tuxedo and had a large butcher’s knife buried deep in his head, thick dark coils of hair keeping the gruesome sight partially hidden. He was busiedly looking through a clipboard, his dark eyes bored and tired. 

“Welcome to the Netherworld, I will assist you through all the typical processings until you finally reach your final passing in the void. You may call me Orson,” the man, Orson, looked up to the Maitlands, barely blinking at the knife Barbara had pulled out. “You brought your handbook, right?” He continued, his clipboard lowering slightly. 

“Uh,” Barbara and Adam spared each other a quick glance quickly straightening out into a less defensive stance. “Hi. We, uh, we’re just here on an… errand, so, we’ll just go on our way and just,” Barbara began to lead the way forward, but Orson stepped before them once again, curiosity sparking his eyes. 

“An errand? To the Netherworld?” He asked, raising a brow. 

“Yup, a quick nondescript errand that we need to get to now, so! We’ll be on our way!” Adam agreed, trying to slide around the smaller ghost. 

Orson eyed them, and a smirk began to tug at his lips. “You’re not typical newlydeads, are you?” He asked. Barbara and Adam could feel anxiety crackle through the air around them now. Orson turned, though he kept the couple in his periphery. “Oh the others are going to love this. Follow me, they’ll want to hear more about this errand thing,” he ordered. 

Barbara and Adam exchanged a look. “Do we… just go with him?” Barbara asked. 

“We might find a familiar face around that can help us. He seems nice after all,” Adam replied, with a shrug. 

“Hurry up, now. One gets lost easily in the Netherworld, and I don’t want to get yelled at for losing you two,” Orson called behind him, and the couple hurried to follow him. 

Somehow, the void seemed to transition around them. One moment they were in an endless black abyss, then with the blink of an eye, they were walking on a tile floor up to a wooden door. Orson opened the door with ease, while Barbara and Adam stared gobsmacked at the strangely normal sight. 

To the couple’s further bewilderment, they stepped into a regular looking office. Well, at first glance it seemed regular, but looking closer, they began to notice how different it was. The dark office walls seemed almost invisible to the eye with how nondescript they were, the only way one could make out the dimensions of the dimly lit room were the mess of filing cabinets piled around, teetering upon each other in gravity defying stacks, spilling over with file upon file filled to the brim with illegibly scribbled paperwork. Across the ceiling weaved air ducts, which seemed to have been built crookedly rather than having warped with age, creaking and groaning ominously. It made Adam and Barbara grateful that they no longer had to worry about safety hazards. 

In the center of this chaotic, papery mess of an office room was a simple wooden desk, an old, rusty fan buzzing away on one edge over a sea of papers, pens, and old fashioned office tools, burying the desk surface from sight. An old wooden chair covered in ash was pushed back from the desk, seemingly moved in a hurry from the scattered papers around it. 

“Well this is odd. I didn’t hear the break bell,” Orson noted curiously, moving over to the desk and setting his clipboard down on the surface. 

Adam momentarily worried it would disappear in the mess of papers, while Barbara moved closer to the desk. “What’s wrong?” She asked hesitantly. 

“Reese wouldn’t just up and run off like this, unless something were happening. No doubt now, you two really are a sign of something,” Orson eyed the couple once more. He gestured them over as he headed further through the office, to a door they realized when he pushed the dark wood open with a creak. “Let’s see if we can’t find the others then, hm?” 

“Er, well, we’re sort of in a hurry for our errand,” Adam began, but Barbara quickly tugged his sleeve, signalling him to stop. 

“Yes, let's go see,” she agreed with Orson, smiling innocently. 

Orson continued on, and the couple followed after once more. “What about Lawrence?” Adam whispered to Barbara. 

“We came here just when he did, if trouble is happening, then usually he has something to do with it. So if we go towards the trouble, we’ll go towards Lawrence,” Barbara replied. 

“How can you be sure? What if it’s something else entirely?” Adam looked forward to their guide worriedly. 

“It’s our best shot. Besides, I honestly have no idea how to navigate this place, do you?” Barbara pointed out. 

Adam opened and closed his mouth fruitlessly, unable to argue. “Alright, you have a point. I just hope you’re right,” he said worriedly, and Barbara squeezed his hand reassuringly. 

“We’ll find him, and we’ll get back home. As long as we stay calm, rational and stick together, we’ll be okay,” she said determinedly. Adam nodded in agreement, refusing to think of any possibility of failing, lest he overthink and scare himself into inaction like he did in life. 

The halls twisted confusedly around them, and at times it almost seemed like the walls were pulsating. Flashes of movements skittered in the shadows, leaving Barbara and Adam jumpy, the former clutching tighter onto the knife while the latter dug out a handful of salt. 

“Strangely, things seem to live in the offices. You’ll probably find some sort of creature somewhere hanging around. It’s best just ignore them, lest you incur their ire,” Orson said warningly. 

“And you haven’t thought to get rid of them by now?” Barbara huffed. 

“Rid them to where? You’ve noticed this entire place is all the same void. Just because we think this is a building with solid walls doesn’t mean it will stop the things that don't think the same,” Orson replied. 

“Don’t think the same? What?” Adam felt his head swirl further from the other’s cryptic words. 

“Well, what I’ve been told is that ghost life is all mental. There is no longer any physical fact with us, only what our minds think is fact,” Orson tried to explain, but the blank looks he received confirmed that his explanation for the Netherworld would not suffice. “Argentina explains it better, just ask her when we find her,” he sighed. 

“Oh! We know her! Do you two work together?” Barbara quickly latched on. She would not lose this lead. 

“She’s teaching me everything she knows. Not everyone is fast minded enough to be under her order, but I’ve always been a quick learner,” Orson preened. 

“We’ll be able to talk to her, where you’re taking us, right?” Adam asked, he and Barbara sharing a hopeful glance. 

“Hopefully, if she and everyone else are where I think they are. Quick warning, you two might want to lose some of that the meek character thing, otherwise Argentine will absolutely bowl you over and you’ll never get to that ‘errand’ you’re here for.” 

“Um… we’ll remember that.” Barbara could see Adam struggling to hold back his indignant squawk from Orson’s comment. She squeezed his hand once more and shot him a reassuring smile, which Adam slowly returned. 

Ahead of them, the couple could hear voices speaking low and quickly, obviously in distress. 

“Good, they are there,” Orson sped up and Barbara and Adam tripped over themselves to follow after. 

They stopped before an open entranceway leading into a surprisingly well lit room that seemed to be a sort of kitchenette. A ragtag group of people were gathered inside, discussing something, all looking tense and worried. Like the office before, they looked like normal people at first glance, but once you focused on them, you began to realize their skin was pale, and even unnaturally colored. Bruises and gashes marred some skin, while seemed to be missing flesh entirely. 

Orson stepped into the kitchen, and cleared his throat pointedly. “Well I’m glad whatever this is wasn’t important enough for someone to come fetch me, I’d hate to be left out of things,” he huffed haughtily. 

An older man, that Adam and Barbara realized with a jolt was horrifically burnt and still smoldering in fact, turned to Orson with a grave expression. “Things turned a little hectic. The jocks all decided to be boneheaded and go get Argentina and Shrunken Head all together, you know, instead of splitting up and getting everyone at once,” he snorted. 

Orson groaned, rolling his eyes back. “Why would you trust them to do anything together? Once Don gets his claws in them, Vinny and Carl turn into mindless fools.” 

“It’s better to stay together, we can’t lose no one else,” a younger man spoke up, sitting on the counter and looking at his feet miserably. Fireworks were impaled into his chest. Barbara realized why her mother had been so adamant about firework safety when she was younger, and Adam turned a shade paler. 

“Who are they?” Another man asked pointing to Barbara and Adam, a severely beat up man wearing… a deployed parachute? 

“Two newlydeads here on an ‘errand’,” Orson explained, a bemused tone managing to tinge his troubled voice. 

“An  _ errand _ ?” The fireworks man asked. 

“In the Netherworld?” The burnt man added flatly. 

“Um, yes, hi. We, uh, don’t want any trouble,” Adam said, he and Barbara straightening up and awkwardly waving and nodding to the people before them. 

“Man, Venetia would  _ love _ this. Of course something new happens, and she’s not here to see it,” the fireworks man sniffled. The parachute wearer patted his shoulder comfortingly. 

“That’s my story. Now would anyone here like to explain what all the tension here is about? It’s almost as if somebody died,” Orson said dryly. 

The other people exchanged upset looks, and the burned man crossed his arms. “It’s Juno.” 

Orson tensed, as did Barbara and Adam. “What… what happened this time? Did they find something connecting her to Venetia’s disappearance?” Orson asked. 

“No, something else, but it’s still bad,” the burned man shook his head. 

Barbara and Adam slowly moved forward, feeling as if the path to Lawrence really was closer than they thought. 

“She got Beetlejuice.” 

Everyone looked to the entrance. A tall green skinned woman stood in the door, flocked by three football players, a shrunken headed man and a familiar woman wearing a bath towel. The green skinned woman’s eyes were hard as flint, a frown pulling her red painted lips down, and her eyes were pointed directly at Barbara and Adam. 

“You. You were  _ supposed _ to protect him,” Miss Argentina’s eyes bored down on the couple, who started in surprise. 

“W-what?” Barbara blinked confusedly, she and Adam both looking bewildered now. 

Miss Argentina started forward, her heels clicking with fury. “He was supposed to be safe with you. Juno was never supposed to find him, and yet here we are. Now you two are here, and I have even more headaches to worry about,” she growled. 

“Maria, stop. I’m upset too, everything has turned upside down recently, but we should be blaming Juno for that, not taking it out on them,” the bath toweled woman intervened, clasping Argentina’s arms and looking up to her. 

Argentina paused and looked down to Shyanne, before sighing. Stress and exhaustion pulled her eyes taut, and wound up her shoulders. Shyanne squeezed their green woman’s arms, and Argentine looked back up to Barbara and Adam. “I… I apologize. But, please.  _ Please _ tell me you’re here to help.” 

Adam and Barbara looked to one another, and Barbara tightened her grip on the knife and Adam pulled their handbook out. “We are.” 

….

When Charles and Delia finally arrived home from their day of work, they found Lydia sitting on the floor of the living room, an injured Sandy in her lap, watching the wall before her. 

“Lydia? What’re you doing?” Delia asked worriedly, concerned at the ragged state the two were in. 

Lydia twisted around in surprise, then was on her feet in an instant and rushed into her stepmother’s arms. “It’s bad, it’s all gone wrong and bad, and I can’t  _ do  _ anything again, just like with Mama,” Lydia spat through gritted teeth, tears pricking the corners of her eyes. She was so tired of crying today. 

“Lydia, calm down. What are you talking about? What happened?” Charles clasped Lydia’s shoulder, looking over his daughter carefully for any sign of injury. 

Lydia shook her head, burrowing it further into Delia’s chest. Sandy hissed miserably, slithering out from Lydia’s arms and onto Delia’s shoulders, looking between the two adults with sad eyes. “Where is everyone?” Delia asked, noting the unusual absence of their paranormal roommates. 

Lydia squeezed her eyes shut. “They’re gone. This ghost appeared, they’d tied up Sandy, they froze Barbara and Adam and drew a door and Juno came through and she tricked Beej into going with her. Barb and Adam went after them, and they wouldn’t let me go with them. I had to stay here and be  _ useless _ ! Beej is in trouble, and maybe Barbara and Adam are too now and I can’t help any of them!” Tears choked her throat. 

Delia froze before clutching onto Lydia tighter. “That-that  _ woman _ came back?  _ Here _ ? Oh my god, Lawrence…” Horror scenarios flashed through her mind, images of not only Lawrence being dragged through that awful portal door flashing through her thoughts, but Lydia being forced with as well. 

Charles paled. “How long ago was this?” He asked, trying to get a handle on the situation. 

“Hours ago… they said they’d be back soon, but they aren’t! It’s been so long, too long,” Lydia felt furious at herself for letting the couple go alone. 

“It’s okay. Things work differently in the Netherworld, right? I’m sure they’re fine,” Charles tried, but even he didn’t sound sure of himself. 

“I should’ve gone with them, I know what the Netherworld looks like at least! What if they’re all stuck there forever? What if we never see any of them again? I don’t know what to do,” Lydia let go of Delia and clutched at her sleeves tightly, her shoulders shaking. 

“Lydia, no. Not after last time, Juno would never let you escape again. We’re… we’re just going to have to have faith in the Maitlands,” Charles sighed heavily. 

“And what? Just do nothing but  _ wait _ when they could be in danger?” Lydia backed away from her parents then, her eyes sparking with incredulous anger. 

“Is… is there anything we can do though? Even if we wanted, we can’t open a door to the Netherworld, only dead people can,” Delia pointed out, wringing her hands tightly together, her face taut with worry. 

Sandy sighed from the older woman’s shoulders, her features twisting into defeat, and Lydia deflated. “I can’t just stand around and do nothing,” she finally said after a moment of tense silence. 

“I’m sorry, Lydia. I know this is… this is hard. But I just don’t think there’s anything else that can be done,” Charles stepped forward to comfort his daughter, but Lydia turned away. She fled up the stairs, and Sandy quickly followed after. 

Delia and Charles watched her go, dismay and guilt eating at their hearts now. Delia sniffled, covering her mouth with a hand. Charles moved to her side and rubbed her arm. “Why would Juno force Lawrence to go back with her? She never even took care of him! She’s his mother and he’s scared of her! Oh god, Charles, he must be terrified right now!” 

“Barbara and Adam will bring him back, they’re both clever enough to get him back,” Charles said stubbornly, unable to even think of the other possibilities. 

“What do we do if they don’t come back? I don’t want to lose them, they’re our family! I don’t care that they’re ghosts and they accidentally make me jump sometimes, or even on purpose, Barb and I designed the garden together! Adam taught me how to use a kitchen! And Lawrence...” Delia squeezed her eyes shut, leaning into Charles’ touch. “He needs us… they all have helped us so much, and they care so much about Lydia, we can’t lose them.” 

Charles’ face crumbled, and he let his sorrow leak into his voice. “I feel the same, but… but I just don’t know what we could do.” 

Delia felt her heart clench, and her mind raced, grasping for anything, when suddenly, a thought occurred to her. “...We don’t know what to do, but maybe someone else does,” she slowly began to plan aloud. 

Charles looked over to her in surprise, his eyes widening hopefully. “Someone else?” 

“It’s too late to try and talk to anyone tonight, of course, and I know if Lydia won’t like it, but... well  _ she _ knew how to summon Lawrence in the first place,” Delia continued to ponder aloud. 

“Summon? You… you don’t mean Miss Juleherd? The woman that  _ kidnapped _ Lawrence?” Charles jerked back, shocked at what Delia could be implying. 

“Well I certainly don’t know anyone else that knows about demons and all the other strange things that apparently exist in this world. Do you?” Delia asked. 

Charles hesitated, before sighing and shaking his head. “No. But how do we get her to help us?” 

“From what you said, she’s a reasonable person. And I’m a very persuasive woman when I need to be,” Delia batted her eyes pointedly. 

Charles couldn’t help but chuckle. “Yes, you are. Alright then. Tomorrow, if Barbara and Adam don’t return, we’ll get into contact with her.” 

Upstairs, in her room, Lydia threw her pillows off her bed in frustration while Sandy watched from the safety of the bed. Lydia stared sullenly where they fell to the ground, Delia’s words echoing through her ears. 

‘... _ We can’t open a door to the Netherworld, only dead people can. _ ’

Lydia sat down next to Sandy on the bed with a sigh. The Sandworm nudged Lydia’s hand, and she began to run a hand down the beast’s striped back. “This sucks, Sandy,” she sighed. Sandy trilled in agreement. 

The last time Lydia went to the Netherworld, it was through the door Lawrence had opened. She’d thought about opening a door again, just to take a photo of the creepy portal, even drawn her own door a couple times, but she always chickened out before she could even think of knocking on it. Now she actually needed it, and there was no one around to open it for her. 

Lydia’s phone went off. She glanced over to it, saw that Bea had sent a few different messages. For a moment Lydia considered telling the other girl of her troubles, maybe seek some comfort, when something in the text caught her eye. 

‘ _ I’m thinking of going to Winne’s tomorrow. Wanna come? _ ’ 

Lydia felt a plan begin to form as she looked over to the black ghost camera sitting on her desk. She quickly snatched up the phone, and sent Bea a reply. ‘ _ I’m in. I have something I need to do there. _ ’

“I’m sorry, Dad. But I’m  _ not _ gonna wait around again,” she muttered. 

Sandy let out an uncertain chitter, surprising Lydia. She’d momentarily forgotten about the sandworm. She patted Sandy’s head. “I’ll take you with, deal? We’ll go help Barbara and Adam get Beej back,” she said. 

Sandy hesitated, but then blinked and rubbed her face against Lydia’s hand. Lydia looked back to the ghost camera and grabbed it, preparing a mental checklist for her trip to the Netherworld. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lydia, Lydia no. LYDIA NO BREATHERS IN THE NETHERWORLD!-   
> She’s not gonna listen to me.  
> Heya!! I’ve been a little busy prepping for Beetlelands week, it’s coming up in a couple of weeks and I want to be ready! >:3 but I haven’t forgotten about this, oh no. We’re really getting into it now, aren’t we?   
> You can find me on tumblr [@daydreaming-jessi](https://daydreaming-jessi.tumblr.com/)


	43. What’s the Opposite of Losing Your Head?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lydia goes to the store, and things get ugly. Then beautiful.

In the morning, there was still no sign of any paranormal being. Lydia left shortly after she woke up, before Charles or Delia could even say anything to her. She couldn’t stand how quiet the house had become. She took only her book bag packed with rashly gathered supplies and Sandy, who tucked herself cozily under Lydia’s jacket. 

As she trailed down the gravel driveway, Lydia chanced one last look back to the house. It’d been cleaned up over the year, what once was a dilapidating old house was now a home in its prime once more. The roof had been reshingled, the grass and hedges pruned and watered back to life, the old wood making up the porch had been varnished and repainted, and so much more had been done, lovingly restoring the once abandoned house. Who would’ve known it’d come such a long way? Barbara and Adam, probably, they adored this place. Well, who would’ve known Lydia would come to adore this place just as much, as much as she loved her old home in New York? 

“I’ll be back, and I’ll bring them back with me,” Lydia promised herself, resolutely ignoring the pessimist in her saying this would be the last time she’d see this place. For once, she was going to follow in Delia’s steps and trust optimism. She was going to come back, after she saved the Maitlands and Lawrence. She refused to believe anything else. 

Sandy wriggled her head out of Lydia’s jacket, parting through Lydia’s hair to eye the teen curiously. Lydia patted her head with a smile. “Off we go,” she said, turning and continuing on her way to the town. 

Not much had changed with Winnie’s shop in the time since Lydia had last seen it, except the display windows were finally opened up and displaying some fancy looking art and old wedding clothes. The same bell went off when Lydia opened the door, and the same old, dusty smell hit her nose. Lydia scanned the shop, but it seemed she arrived long before anyone else. That was probably for the better. She was so close to getting her plan started, and though she enjoyed hanging out with her friends, the memory of Lawrence and the Maitlands disappearing into the Netherworld ate away at her, making it impossible to even consider thinking of anything else. 

Lydia stepped inside the ship, and began to make her way further in, towards where the stairs were. Hopefully the ghost, Lawrence said her name was Maureen, would be easy to find. 

“Look out!” 

Lydia instinctively ducked away as a tower of dusty books toppled over in front of her. She looked up in bewilderment and saw Winnie on a step stool above her, stacking books onto the shelf the stool was leaned against. “Oh I am so sorry, my dear. I’ve been at this mess all morning, but it never gets any smaller,” Winnie carefully stepped down, wiping her hands off on her pants and looking Lydia over for injury. 

“It’s okay,” Lydia said automatically, bending over and picking a few books up to hand to the older woman. 

Winnie shook her head. “I swear, this shop gets into a new state every time I leave. Wilbur may be right, I might just need to hire some help around here just so I can get things done and not have to clean up every morning.” 

“Maybe you could ask whoever is messing with things to stop,” Lydia glances up to the ceiling, an edge of sarcasm tinting her voice. 

Winnie hummed, looking over the books Lydia handed her. “You’re not the first of your group of friends to suggest that, but I prefer not to mess with any forces I don’t know about. No, it’s not so bad. It livens things up around here, to be honest. Makes me feel a little less lonely in this old shop. Now, is there something I can do for you?” Winnie set the books down and set her hands on her hips, giving Lydia a bright smile. 

“Oh, just browsing. I’m not looking for anything particular today,” Lydia replied, shaking her head. 

Winnie frowned, her dark eyes studying Lydia intently, making the girl fidget nervously as she briefly worried the older woman somehow saw that Lydia was planning something reckless. “Well, if you’re sure. Just let me know if you need anything,” Winnie’s smile turned more reassuring, and Lydia nodded. 

“Y-yes, thank you.” 

Winnie went back up the stool with more books and Lydia quickly continued on her way, snaking through the aisles to where she’d seen the stairs weeks before. 

The staircase had rugs hanging over the banister this time, a clashing dizzy mess of colors and patterns. Lydia eyed the strange decor before carefully leaning over the rugs to look up the dark stairwell. There weren’t any strange shadowy figures lurking around on the steps, no strange bursts of cold air, nothing but an ordinary dimly lit staircase. Sandy peeled out from Lydia’s coat, scenting the air. “Anything?” Lydia quietly asked the Sandworm. Sandy’s tongue darted in and out between her cyan lips, before she suddenly slithered onto the stairs and climbed up them, out of sight. 

Lydia chewed the inside of her cheeks nervously, chancing a look back to Winnie. The shop owner was busy still, stacking books into place. Lydia turned back to the stairs and quietly started after Sandy. 

The stairs led up to a room with an even stranger, dustier array of furniture and knick knacks splayed around, half unpacked and ready to be moved downstairs. Gray drop clothes were tacked over old portraits and draped over bulky furniture, except for one rocking chair and folding table, where Sandy laid curled around a book left innocently on the old, beat up table. Lydia looked around the stuffy room, searching for any sign of the ghost, when she heard muffled footsteps. 

“You can’t do this, Hamstein! You said the deal was over, you gave me the green card!” 

“Yes well deals change Maureen. It’s just best to tie up loose ends, you know?” 

Lydia’s eyes widened at the voices, and she ducked behind a towering cloth covered cabinet. Sandy quickly slithered off the table and joined her, the sandworm’s red eyes dilating wider was she tensely scented the air. 

A cold air swept through the room, making Lydia shudder, and sharp footsteps clicked across the wooden floor. Lydia peeked out behind the cabinet to see a blue skinned, sharply dressed man pacing the room, his ice blue eyes roaming the furniture around him. The other ghost, Maureen, stood behind him, her face aghast and her hands trembling. 

“I told you what you wanted, there’s nothing more I can give you!” Maureen said helplessly, clutching her hands tightly against her blood soaked dress. 

The blue ghost, Hamstein, Lydia guessed, shook his head, tutting like a teacher at their foolish pupil. “Maureen, I would’ve thought you’d get it by now. It is simply too dangerous to have you reside here while another breather remains. What if you get exorcised? Oh the paperwork would be endless.” He meandered closer to where Lydia and Sandy hid. She clutched the Sandworm closer to her chest, her shoulders rising up as she tried to make herself smaller. 

“That didn’t matter to you before! It never did! You said I was free, Hamstein! You can’t double cross me like this!” A tinge of hysteria colored Maureen’s voice. 

Hamstein looked back to the ghost, grinning. Sharp canines jutted from his smile, adding a new sense of danger to his presence. “Well there’s the ever panicking Maureen I know and love! Now I’ve said it so many times now, it can’t possibly be so hard to get the old biddy out. Just one good scream, and that woman will probably just keel over. Should keep others from coming and replacing her tacky shop.” 

Maureen paled, but then her expression grew stony. Her hands clenched at her sides as she spoke, “No.” 

Hamstein paused in his wandering pace, his shoulders tensing. “What did you just say?” 

“I said no,” Maureen repeated herself, drawing herself further up. Lydia couldn’t help but lean forward, ready to jump in to help if she needed to. 

Hamstein turned. “No? You can’t say no to me, Maureen.” 

“Yes I can. I have this!” Maureen drew out a card out of a relatively blood free pocket, the card glowing green and... whispering? Lydia blinked, wondering briefly if that was the sort of ghost’s green card Lawrence had mentioned months before. “I don’t need to listen to you anymore!” Maureen continued, setting her jaw stubbornly. 

Hamstein took a sharp breath before raising his chin, and cracking his neck. The card began to freeze in Maureen’s grip, making her drop it with a pained gasp. It clattered to the floor, shattering upon impact. The card evaporated in a hiss of green mist. 

“No, no! You bastard! You sick son of a bitch!” Maureen cried, falling to the chunks of ice that remained from Hamstein’s trick. 

“I gave you that card, Maureen. I can take it away. You obey me, and when I say get that old bitch out of here, you’ll do just that. I just took out the “great” demon Beetlejuice, you are nothing compared to that!” 

Lydia tensed at that, and Sandy hissed. Was this how Juno found Lawrence? This guy led her straight to them? All of this happened because of  _ him _ ? 

Maureen looked up to Hamstein with tearful, angry eyes. “I am a person that deserves respect! I’m not some number you can shove this way and that! I don’t care about whoever this Beetlejuice is-“ 

“Au contraire, Maureen, you actually do care about that boy. You had a picture taken with him after all, and you helped me find him.” 

Maureen froze, her face becoming ashy. “W...what? You… you said you weren’t going to hurt him… you promised, Hamstein, you-you promised!” 

“Maureen, I can’t keep promises that aren’t mine to keep. That one is out of my hands. This however isn’t. So. Get to work getting that old hag out of here, and perhaps I’ll consider your request for a green card,” Hamstein interrupted, waggling his finger with a smirk. 

Maureen swallowed thickly, her nails scraping the floor, before she suddenly struck out at Hamstein. He stumbled back, surprised, before getting clocked by Maureen, which made the once invisible seam running around his neck open. He bit back a pained grunt, before looking to Maureen with furious eyes. “That was a big mistake, Maureen.” 

He took a step forward and the intense look in his eyes had Maureen reconsidering her actions when Lydia darted out from the cabinet, her camera flashing. Hamstein yelped, hands leaping to his eyes as he reeled from the sudden flash of light. Lydia yanked the tarp down from the cabinet as she went, ripping an edge up before yelling to Maureen, “Help me cover him!” and racing towards the ghost. 

Maureen started, but quickly helped Lydia throw the cloth over the wheeling ghost. He struggled against the sudden cover, while Lydia looked over her shoulder. “Sandy!” she called. 

The floor creaked tremendously as thick striped coils of Sandworm began to pop into existence. Sandy wrapped her tail around Hamstein before he could move, and he began to scream out as he suddenly found himself lifted up into the air, trapped and unable to do a thing. 

The Sandworm let out a guttural growl, and Hamstein let out a shriek. “Oh my god, no, no! Let me go, please! I-I’ll do anything, I’m good for it, please! Please, oh god, please! I’m not fully a demon yet! I’ll go forever if that beast consumes all of me!” 

Maureen gaped fearfully at the sudden appearance of Sandy, while Lydia ignored Hamstein’s cries, calmly moving over to the dropped Polaroid she’d taken moments before and scooping it up. It was horrendously blurred, but one could make out the two clearly dead ghosts in the photo. She decided to pocket it, before turning back to the others. 

“So. You took out the great demon Beetlejuice, did you?” She started. 

“You want power? I can get you power! Beetlejuice is nothing compared to the folks I-“ Hamstein was cut off by Sandy tightening her already vice like grip. 

Lydia moved forward, and Maureen shrunk back from the oncoming teen. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I should’ve known better,” she whispered. Lydia looked to the ghost, her brow bunching together. 

“Why would you help this jerk?” She asked, nodding to the wriggling tarp that was Hamstein. 

Maureen shook her head, her eyes tired. “He’s my caseworker. I…I didn’t know what else to do.” 

Lydia wasn’t sure of what to say to that, and instead moved on to her issue. “Look, Beej is in danger, and my ghost parents went after him yesterday. None of them are back yet, and I have to go help them. The only way I can do that is by going after them to the Netherworld, and only the dead can get me there,” Lydia began. 

Maureen’s eyes widened. “You want to go to the  _ Netherworld _ ?” 

“And help  _ Beetlejuice _ ?” Hamstein asked bewildered. Sandy cracked her tail, making the ghost squeak. 

“You’re alive! Why would you ever risk going to the world of the dead?” Maureen continued, ignoring her caseworker. 

“I already went there once, and I’ll do it again. For them. So… please. Help me open a door to the Netherworld,” Lydia begged. 

Maureen hesitated for a moment, before shaking her head. “No, no, you’re a child! I can’t in good conscience send a young girl to the Netherworld by herself!” 

“I have a Sandworm with me, a-and you owe Beej after selling him out!” Lydia grimaced when the harsh words left her mouth. 

Maureen paled, and she clutched her hands together as she ducked away guiltily. “I… I just… I can’t.” She looked back up resolutely. “I’m sorry, I truly am, but Sandworms or not, sending a child by herself to the Netherworld is not the way to atoning for my mistakes!” 

“She won’t be by herself!” 

Lydia, Maureen, and Sandy started at the young voice that spoke out. They turned to the door leading to the stairs, where one girl scout stood, tightly clutching the straps to her backpack. “I’ll go with Lydia, and she won’t be alone! I can help,” Skye said, dashing forward to stand before them. 

“The hell you are!” 

“Cast, wait, no hold on!” 

Thumps and shuffles sounded in the stairwell and Cast appeared, furious, as she stalked forward after Skye. Bea, Darrin and Keith hurried after, but paused upon seeing the giant Sandworm and horrifically bleeding woman. Maureen stepped back at the further intrusion of her space, looking quite done with her day now. 

“Skye Costiuer, you are  _ not _ going to the Land of the Dead,” Cast crossed her arms and cocked her hip, reminding Lydia of her mother when she was about to lecture Lydia about something ignorant she did. 

“Lydia needs help! And a Girl Scout always helps those in need! Especially when they’re a friend!” Skye argued back, glaring back resolutely. 

“Even when that involves going to where  _ dead people  _ are?” Keith asked bewilderedly. 

“Especially then! I helped save Beej when he was kidnapped once, and I’ll do it again!” Skye replied stubbornly. 

“ _ What _ ?” Cast’s eyes shifted to Lydia, now looking enraged. 

“That was way different, it involved that librarian Leanne summoning Beej for witch reasons, not him being dragged to the Netherworld,” Lydia quickly said, not wanting to face Cast’s sisterly wrath. 

“Oh my good lord, you are actually a magnet for this nonsense,” Maureen quietly realized. 

“I can help! Beej is our friend, and your ghost parents are there, and I already helped you get Beej back once! I can do it again, my heart’s strong enough!” Skye insisted, laying a hand over her heart. 

“No one is going to the Netherworld!” Keith cut in, moving between Lydia and Maureen. 

“Yes I am.” “Yes we are!” Lydia and Skye shot back in unison. 

A shrill whistle pierced the air, making everyone jump. Darrin’s fingers moved back away from his lips, and nodded to Bea. 

“Before any further pointless arguing, we need to clear up a few things. First thing. Who’s the guy in the sheet?” She asked, pointing to the tarp. 

Lydia groaned. “I don’t have time to explain! My family needs help-“ 

“Deetz, come on. You’re in no state to go galavanting off this very second,” Darrin interrupted, his tone softening. 

Bea moved forward and took Lydia’s hands, which she realized were shaking. “Take a breath, and explain what’s going on to us.” 

Lydia looked into Bea’s dark, caring eyes, the overwhelming pressure of the situation becoming too much once more. She ducked her head, choking on tears, her hands tightening their grip on Bea’s. Bea moved closer, pulling Lydia into a hug, rubbing a hand over her back. Skye joined the hug, as did Darrin, Keith, and Cast. 

Once she calmed down, Lydia pulled away, breathing more easily now, and explained everything that had gone down yesterday. Once finished, she roughly wiped her eyes. “I’m going after them like I should’ve the first time.” 

“Lydia, it’s super dangerous. You said before that you barely got out of there the first time. This Juno demon will probably go ballistic if you steal Lawrence back,” Keith argued. 

“I won’t stand around doing nothing. It’s already been a day, so who knows how long that is in the Netherworld! I’m going after them, but I’m not bringing anyone else,” Lydia added to Skye. 

“But-!” Skye was ready to protest, before Darrin placed a hand on her head. 

“Oh no you don’t, Deetz. Don’t you try and pull some weird lone wolf act. I think we all should go. Those ghosts won’t stand a chance with us all, they’ll have to let us take  _ our _ ghost folk back!” He grinned. Lydia felt taken aback by this, and struggled for a reply. 

“That is not the solution to this problem,” Keith said flatly. 

“Nah, I’m with Darrin here. We have a giant, ghost eating worm with us after all,” Bea pointed out. 

Keith raised a finger to argue, before pausing. “That is a good point.” 

“Hold up! I’m all for backing Lydia up and storming the ghost word to get her ghosts back, but I do  _ not _ consent to Skye coming with us.” Cast slashed the air with finality. 

“Cast, I’m a Girl Scout! Mom and Teia agreed to let me practice archery! I can do this!” The young girl argued. 

Cast frowned, before looking at the others. Darrin nodded encouragingly, while Bea and Keith shrugged, knowing that arguing with Skye about this would prove fruitless. “I guess you would find a way to follow us,” Cast started to relent. 

“None of you are going! This is my problem, I’m not gonna put you all in danger,” Lydia finally reeled back to reality, snapping out of her daze. 

“Unfortunate that you think you can stop us from helping you,” Darrin hummed. 

“Do I not have a say in any of this? Considering you need  _ me _ to open the door?” Maureen finally piped up. The kids paused, looking back to the ghost in surprise, as they’d forgotten about her objections. 

Maureen drummed her fingers together, before shooting a cold look to the still bound Hamstein, who was only able to give muffled protests from the coils of sandworm entrapping his body. “I understand that this is my fault. This wouldn’t have happened if I had kept from telling Hamstein what I know. But I won’t let you kids throw your lives away. The Netherworld as of now is barely safe for the dead, much less the living.” 

“Maureen, my family needs help. You don’t understand how awful Juno is. And Adam and Barbara have never been to the Netherworld before. Don’t you remember how it was the first time you went there?” Lydia said. Maureen glanced away, her eyes glazing over with memories. “Besides, I…” Lydia looked back to her friends, and a small smile crept up her lips. “I won’t be alone.” 

Maureen looked between the teen, the group of kids, and Sandy, conflicted. 

“Besides, if you don’t help us, we’ll probably go find another, more dangerous ghost that will. We know a lot of haunted locations,” Cast threw in. 

The kids nodded and chorused their agreements, and Skye added, “I technically died once, so I bet I could do it.” 

Maureen groaned in defeat. “Alright, alright. But you have one Netherworld hour in there,” she held up a finger for emphasis, “That’s six breather hours here. Then I’m going after you and dragging you all back here, with or without the three you’re looking for. Understood?” 

“Yes.” 

Maureen turned away to grab some chalk, and the kids finally considered the struggling tarp wrapped ghost. 

“So. What do we do about him?” Lydia wrinkled her nose in disgust. 

“Well… Sandy could probably do with a quick snack for the journey,” Darrin offered. 

“I dunno, he might give her indigestion,” Keith said, looking up to the Sandworm thoughtfully. 

“We don’t want him going to warn anyone about us, though,” Bea pointed out, adjusting her glasses. 

“And a ghost probably stays dead when eaten by a Sandworm,” Cast nodded. 

“And he’s a jerk,” Skye finished, scowling. 

They pondered this decision for a moment. 

“Let’s hear him out. Maybe he’s smart and undergone character development from this,” Keith offered sarcastically, smirking. 

The other kids snickered, and Lydia nodded to Sandy. 

With a begrudging huff, Sandy finally let Hamstein loose. He dropped to the floor in a pile of limbs and tarp, and he immediately scrambled to his feet, his head rolling around on the floor while his body showed off the hideous, glistening red of his exposed cut off neck. Darrin gagged at the sight, Skye ducked behind Cast fearfully, while she, Keith and Bea grimaced at the sight, and even Lydia paled at the display of atrocious body horror. 

Hamstein struggled to stick his head back in place, stammering, “Listen, listen! I can be a great asset to you, really! I-I can guide you through the Netherworld, no need to wander around the place lost! You have my honor, you’ll find your friends in no time and skip out of there before you can say  _ Christ in a Brisket that Sandworm is large _ !” Hamstein fell back to the floor when Sandy loomed closer. 

“How about this instead. You give Maureen back her green card, apologize for everything you’ve done to her, and then you leave her alone, or else you’ll end up as Sandworm bedding. How’s that?” Lydia said, looking to her friends for agreement on the deal. Maureen gasped behind them, while Hamstein cowered. 

“Y-yes, ok! I can do that!” He snapped his fingers, a new, shimmering card appearing in his hands, and he shakily held it out. Skye took it with a snap, and the kids parted so he could properly address Maureen, looking down at him expectantly. “Maureen. I-I apologize for everything I’ve done. I was terrible to you, and I have learned my mistakes. I shall never darken your doorstep again, so long as I exist!” He smiled shakily, looking up to Maureen with pleading eyes. 

Maureen carefully took the green card from Skye, holding it reverently in her hands. She looked up to Hamstein, and pursed her lips. 

“Well Maureen?” The teens grinned. 

“Sic ‘im.” 

Hamstein’s smile could barely drop before Sandy snapped forward. She snapped her jaws and Hamstein’s body was swallowed, his head tumbling to the floor with a scream. Maureen primly stepped forward and scooped Hamstein’s head up. He was hyperventilating now, his eyes darting around wildly. “You will keep these children safe in the Netherworld, unless you want to join the rest of your body. Got it?” Maureen narrowed her eyes. 

“Y-yes, yes. I understand,” Hamstein wheezed. 

Maureen smiled demurely. “Good.” She stuffed a dusty rag into his mouth, which Hamstein tried to protest, but his muffled words fell upon deaf ears. Maureen held the head out to the kids as well as a handful of chalk. “Remember. One hour. And… if you wouldn’t mind, could you tell BJ I’m sorry? I understand if he wouldn’t want to talk to me again after I betrayed him like this, I just want him to know I’m sorry,” Maureen looked down sadly. 

Lydia took the items and looked up to Maureen contemplatively. “Okay.” 

Maureen smiled, probably for the first time in a long while, before turning to the door outline she drew and knocked on it three times. Fog spilled out into the room, and she stepped back. “Good luck. I hope you’ll find them.” 

“You guys sure you want to come?” Lydia asked her friends one last time. 

Keith bumped her shoulder with his. “No way we’re letting you go alone.” 

“Come on Lydia. At this point it’s pretty obvious that the answer is yes,” Bea smiled. 

“We’re definitely not gonna let the only ghosts we know stay trapped in the Netherworld,” Darrin agreed. 

“Yeah, you kind of have to help when your friend’s ghost family goes missing,” Cast said. 

Sandy popped back down to a carryable size and let Skye scoop her up. “To the rescue!” She raced forward through the door, the others quickly hurrying after. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lydia has some real friends right there. I would love to have someone who would go with me to hell to save my pseudo bro and ghost parents.   
> Boy, oh, boy, oh, BOY has my life taken some turns recently. But slowly and surely I’m still getting this damn fic done. I wanna say we’re almost halfway through the endgame now. Beetlelands week was fun, but I needed a lil break after all that haha   
> OH! I also am working on a [playlist](https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLrx8afpYrycWAZ85hMonim2FNI9_KZJIs) for this fic. It too is overly long and currently a wip, but I just felt like these songs go well with all of this. (Which means it’s kind of sad :I) the bestest bean ever made a [Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/user/albomagallanico/playlist/3DqKZz4Cs6kLocCPUDh5e9?si=92p5R4tCRlKWB9fUnp0Rbw) version too, so take your pick!   
> You can find me on tumblr here [@daydreaming-jessi](https://daydreaming-jessi.tumblr.com/)


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